A midlife crisis can promote self-development or mental breakdown. It's natural for you to want to make changes as you get older, but choose things that encourage you to develop in a positive way and don't end up on the brink of regret or destruction. Don't ignore the feeling. Instead, deal with it in an appropriate way. If you run into a problem, understand that money doesn't always solve it. Instead of depending on money, ask for advice and think about the options available.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Dealing with Problems
Step 1. Find out if the midlife crisis is a problem that needs to be addressed
Before you start tackling an existing problem like the midlife crisis, it's a good idea to find out if it's really the problem you're dealing with. Try talking to a therapist to make sure you don't have a different problem. Keep in mind that the midlife crisis will be different for men and women. In addition, a common crisis faced by married couples is when their children leave home or continue their studies at university.
- A man may feel the need to make sudden or drastic changes in his life, such as changing careers, separating or divorcing his partner, or moving to a new city.
- Women may experience decreased motivation to pursue career advancement or question their reasons for doing certain things, such as why they are trying to achieve career advancement.
- Sometimes, what is considered a midlife crisis is actually a stage of psychosocial development known as generativity versus stagnation. Engagement with young people through volunteering or mentoring helps you get through these issues. Visit https://www.verywell.com/generativity-versus-stagnation-2795734 to find out more.
Step 2. Deal with the problem at hand
At one point, you may feel that there are so many problems around you. Maybe you feel held back or fixated by your marriage, want a different job, and want to start a new life in a different place. Even if you feel these things, you don't need to take action to deal with those feelings. If you feel like running away from a problem, try solving it first. Think about what specifically makes you unhappy, then try to come up with a solution to the problem.
- For example, if you're feeling unhappy in your marriage, remember that changes often occur in relationships and you can set things straight or fix them. Try seeing a therapist or talking to your partner to come up with a solution.
- Make sure you are alert for signs of helplessness. If you feel things like that, use positive self-talk to turn negative thoughts into better things.
Step 3. Find a new destination
You may have big unrealistic aspirations and goals. While you may need to “let go” of your dreams in some areas, try to set goals in others. You may not be successful in publishing a book or gaining fame, but you can still have a fulfilling life in other ways. You can't fulfill your childhood dream as an astronaut, but you can still achieve other dreams.
- Set financial, family, romance, career, and health goals. For example, try to finish a marathon or complete silent meditation.
- Make sure you don't always compare yourself to others. If you're starting to compare yourself, try taking a "break" from social media so you don't have to see what other people are doing.
Step 4. Appreciate the life you live
Accept the fact that you are a responsible adult. Instead of feeling resentful about your roles and responsibilities, look for things to be grateful for in life. For example, if you're jealous of your child's free life while you have to work toil with a career you don't like, remember that you play an important role in your child's life and are lucky to have (at least) a job.
- Instead of seeing these things as burdens in life, see what exists as gifts or gifts that build on the life you have lived (or are living). Remember that there are people who desperately want, expect, and need things that you view as burdens.
- Keep a gratitude journal so that you get used to being grateful for the things in life.
Part 2 of 4: Making Big Decisions
Step 1. Make smart choices
If you feel that drastic choices are the only way out or the thing that can make you happy, rethink your decision. Usually there is more than one option to choose from. For example, if you are unhappy with your current job, try changing positions, working at another branch office, or requesting a promotion at the company. While making impulsive decisions can be "fun" in itself, don't let them rule your life. Gather information and examine each available option first.
- If you feel that buying luxury items is the only way to find happiness, find other ways to satisfy yourself, such as gardening or learning to dance. Get in the habit of waiting for 1-2 days before buying something you suddenly want.
- Consider options carefully and wisely before taking a step. You don't have to make drastic decisions to feel happy. Take a few months to think about a major change, such as changing careers or moving to a new city.
Step 2. Ask for advice
If you feel ready to make a big decision, seek wise advice from someone you can trust. You can seek advice from a parent, friend, therapist, or spiritual leader. Listen to what they have to say, even if you don't like it. They can provide points of view that you may not know or be aware of.
If you're looking to quit your job, separate from your partner, or make a major purchase, talk about your desires before making a move
Step 3. Think ahead, not backwards
Many people going through a midlife crisis feel that turning back time is the answer to keep moving forward and living life. While acting and appearing like a young person, and dating someone younger may make you feel more “comfortable” or cool for a moment, that's not going to solve the problem. You can "postpone" the confusion you are experiencing, but the feeling will not go away. No expensive object or luxury car can turn back time. It's a good idea to be aware of your current age and accept it.
- For example, if you've been trying to show good physical appearance, find value in yourself in timeless ways, such as kindness and generosity. Everyone must grow old. What matters, however, is how you deal with it and grow as you get older.
- Keep in mind that you can still spend money to maintain your appearance in a healthy and unobtrusive way, such as hiring a personal trainer to do physical exercises or getting your hair and face done professionally. Things like this can benefit your self-esteem.
Part 3 of 4: Dealing with Stress
Step 1. Try spending some time on your own
If your personal life is being taken over by taking care of children, satisfying your boss and coworkers, and being a loving and devoted spouse or parent, you may need to take some time for yourself. Set aside time each day for yourself. Let your mind wander around and reflect on your condition. Give yourself space to think, feel emotions, and enjoy your own life.
Go for a walk, spend some time outdoors, or meditate
Step 2. Cultivate the friendship that is lived
Spending time with friends is a great way to deal with stress. Make time each week to meet up and get to know friends (eg by going for a walk or having coffee together). Make sure the people you spend time with are positive people, and not people you feel uncomfortable with.
Step 3. Relax
If you feel overwhelmed in this phase of your life, start dealing with stress effectively. Do exercise or relaxation exercises every day to find calm and deal with stress when it starts to peak, and don't let stress build up. Take time to freshen up.
Try doing relaxation techniques every day for 30 minutes. You can also try yoga, qi gong, or meditation
Step 4. Do not consume alcoholic beverages and drugs
Taking drugs and alcohol at this stage of life may seem exciting and a relief. At this point, you may feel like you're not hurting much or want to try a new, exciting experience. However, drugs and alcohol are not satisfying and can actually hurt or destroy your life (eg losing your job and the respect of those around you, being separated or divorced from your partner, or having health problems). If you are experiencing stress or financial difficulties, find an outlet or other way to deal with it without having to take drugs or alcohol.
If you have a drug or alcohol dependence problem, seek help and treatment immediately. Go to an inpatient or outpatient setting, visit a facility or rehabilitation center, and rid yourself of toxins or alcohol
Part 4 of 4: Controlling Emotions
Step 1. Deal with depression and anxiety
Some people feel anxious or depressed when they reach middle age. Maybe you feel sad because you can't reach your goals or live a different life than you expected. You may also feel anxious about the changes you feel physically, as well as the inevitable aging and death. Don't ignore your feelings or ignore them. Recognize how you are feeling and don't hesitate to seek help.
Recognize the symptoms of depression and anxiety, and seek help if needed
Step 2. Keep a journal
Try keeping a journal or some kind of autobiography. By writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, you can reflect on the life you live and the life you want. Having a journal also helps you maintain perspective on life and see situations or events from multiple perspectives.
By writing about life, you can gain an insight into the choices you make and what you can learn from those choices. Even if your life isn't going the way you want it to, you can reflect on the process of self-development that comes from life's experiences
Step 3. See a therapist
Choose a therapist who can help you through the crisis process/phase, not ending it as quickly as possible. Try to rediscover who you are and what you want. Think openly and allow yourself to let your thoughts and emotions out during therapy.
