You may feel scared, intimidated, or embarrassed to ask a guy out on a date, but there's nothing to worry about - lots of girls do! Since men are sometimes difficult to initiate and ask a woman out on a date, men will be flattered and relieved when a woman asks them out. If you want to ask a guy out on a date, all you have to do is get things ready, be confident, and act appropriately. However, it is easier said than done.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Preparing to ask a guy out
Step 1. What's the worst that could happen?
The worst thing that can happen is that a man will politely refuse and say "No" if he is a gentleman. Always have it in your mind and be ready to ask him out. Remember, this will help you lessen the pain when this happens.
Step 2. Find the right place and time to ask a guy out
Make sure you have the opportunity to walk with him in a relaxed manner, without any pressure. Maybe in the hallway, fountain, or sports field after practice, or whenever you see him often. Choose a quiet place, when he wants to relax and relieve fatigue. These are some things to keep in mind when you want to choose the right place and time:
- You don't need to be in a completely quiet place, but you may find it more comfortable if you ask in a fairly quiet place. People don't always answer questions honestly when their friends are around and they're feeling pressured, so a fairly quiet place will help you get some real answers.
- Don't worry too much about asking her out when the opportunity and time is right. If the two of you are in a group, lower your voices and say, "Hi, can I talk to you alone for a moment?" and stay away from the crowd.
- Don't look like a scout. Yes, you may want to ask him in person, but you don't have to do that by waiting for him in front of his house until he comes home. Use your best guess and determine a reasonable time and place to invite her.
Step 3. Have a date plan
If this is the first time you ask him out, you will be more confident by asking him to do certain activities. This will reduce the pressure that will come on what to do when you're on a date, and you won't say "Uhhh…. I don't know" when he asks about his plans. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Don't think too hard about negative things like 'he will laugh at me', 'he will reject me', 'he will think of me as just a friend' etc. Remember that men feel and think the same way when they approach a woman and this is the main reason why many men fall into the so-called 'friend-zone' situation. In fact you will only find the answer after asking, be brave, ask him out. You can do it! You may be surprised at how they will react because most men are much easier to talk to than women.
- Invite him to dance with you (if you are in high school). Most schools have at least two each year: Sadie Hawkins in the fall, and another in the spring - usually Morp (like Prom, but not formal) or Spring Fling, depending on your school. This is the most appropriate reason!
- Plan a classic date. Or, if you already know this guy really well and the main point is when you're alone with him, ask him out like a normal date. Plan a dinner, at a restaurant, or at home with something you bought or made, and do activities such as watching a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, or doing something you both enjoy.
- Choose a specific activity to grab his attention. If he likes biking, going to jazz concerts, or eating sushi, invite him to do these activities. This will make him feel good and it will be easier for him to say yes.
Step 4. Have a strategy to get out of the problem
While you should focus on the best-case scenario (an answer yes!) rather than the worst-case scenario, you should still be aware of the slim chance that a guy won't say yes. Maybe he likes someone else, or maybe he's surprised and thinks you're just friends – at least you'll get through it. But if you want to get through any situation and not reduce your composure, you have to come up with a plan B in case things don't go according to plan.
- Come up with an excuse to leave quickly. Maybe saying you have to study for a test, go to the next class, or you're late for a meeting with a friend, it will sound better if you prepare in advance.
- Come up with something else to ask if you feel like he doesn't want to go out. If you approach her and she's in the mood for not wanting to date, think of something else you can ask her so it doesn't seem awkward when you approach her – ask her about her math assignment or if she knows that the local baseball team will be playing today.
Method 2 of 3: Asking a Guy Out
Step 1. Radiate confidence
This may be the most intimidating move for some, but it is important. Having confidence when you ask a guy out will make you and your date attractive, attractive, and make him more likely to trust you and say yes. Don't worry - this is an easy way to disguise it. Here's what to do:
- Make more effort. On days when you ask her out, spend more time looking attractive. Maybe by wearing your best clothes, doing your hair differently, or putting on a little makeup. Remember the point here is not to make you a different person, but to give you a mental boost by knowing you look your best.
- Watch your body language. Decide, even if something is bothering you a lot, you should still look good, maintain eye contact, and smile at all times while you do this. This will help you feel better, and will show him that you are fearless and reassuring - both attractive traits.
- When you talk to him, speak clearly and don't mumble. Keep your words organized and confident, even when you're just asking how the day was.
Step 2. Flirt with him
Give a small signal that you're interested in him, so he won't be surprised when you ask him out. You just need to make eye contact and smile, or flirt with him via text. Be careful when making eye contact. If he avoids your eyes, try again after a few minutes. Don't try to hold eye contact for more than 30 seconds, or it will look awkward.
- You can also play with your hair a bit for a friendly look.
- Try to wet your lips once or twice when you talk to him.
- If you already have a good relationship with him, you can tease him a little first.
Step 3. Don't tease her too much
However you tease him, try to be natural about how you feel for him, not something that was planned. Even unintentional acts such as blushing or giggling nervously can be included in the act of flirting, so don't worry if you find that your daily routine is more than your planned routine. If you are too aggressive, the man will feel pressured and make him step back.
- Flirt and chat with him for a while, but if you stay on the topic for too long, he will lose interest.
- There's nothing wrong with leaning against him, but don't lean so close to him that he has to jump back or make him unable to breathe.
Step 4. Ask
After a minute or two, you need the courage to ask a question, the sooner the better. Think of it like removing a bandage: it would be better if it came off sooner. Try to be as calm and relaxed as possible, and ask to go on a date in simple sentences. Here are a few ways to say it, and add as you see fit:
- "Do you have an event on Sunday night?"
- "When you're free, I'd like to ask you out on a Friday."
- “Hi, so, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me on the weekend?”
- "I have two tickets to the new Kooks concert, and no one else fits better. Are you busy on Saturday?"
Step 5. Accept the answer calmly
Try to mentally prepare for the answer to go. If he's interested, great! If not, decide that this isn't going to make your day and you should keep moving forward. This is what you should do if you are in that situation:
- If he says no: Respond with a smile. Try saying something like, "Don't worry, let me know if you change your mind. See you later," and walk away in a relaxed manner. Rejection hurts, but try not to hold grudges or anger towards it. He may be cursing himself a few hours later but how you react will determine whether he will have the courage to come back and accept your invitation.
- When he says yes: Mission accomplished! Give yourself a few minutes to talk about details, such as what time, where, who will pick you up, and so on. Before you go, let him know that you're really excited about this date and really looking forward to it.
Method 3 of 3: Other Strategies For Asking Men On A Date
Step 1. Use the “overload ticket” method
Buy two tickets to a movie, a concert, a stand-up comedy, or whatever else you think will get his attention. Then, when you start talking to him, try talking about the event and add, "Ugh, my friend can't make it to the event…" if he doesn't get provoked and offers to come, say, "Is there any chance you'd want to go? watched this show, and I thought it would be fun." Make it sound very casual, like what you thought at the scene.
It's a way to ask a guy out with very little pressure
Step 2. Take him out together
Going out together is a way to date with very little pressure. If you and he go out with a couple of partners, or even a few friends, it's less likely to look like a date and more like hanging out together. Tell the guy that you and some of your friends are going bowling, to the movies, to dinner, or whatever, and ask him if he'd like to come along.
- He'll know when you ask him out but you two won't feel the pressure like when you two go out alone.
- If going together goes well, then you will find the action personally later.
Step 3. Take her out to activities that men often do
Choose something that men usually think of and like their friends, as long as the activity sounds fun to you, invite him to join you. Activities such as batting cages (areas for practicing hitting baseball and enclosed by fences), going to a baseball game or watching together at a local bar or restaurant, or a hike. Asking her out to do things that men like will be more interesting and sound more fun and relaxing than taking her to a candle-light dinner.
Find out what activities he enjoys. Maybe what most men like can't catch his attention
Step 4. Take her out to a movie or concert
This is a slight variation on the "over-ticketing" strategy. With this strategy, you should start the conversation early with the guy. Then talk about a new movie that's showing or a concert that's going to be in your city, trying to make sure it grabs his attention. Wait for him to tell you how much he likes concerts or bands, and if he doesn't really understand what you mean, say, "I really want to see that movie too. Would you like to go out together on the weekends?"
If you really want to act casual about this, you can add, "I can't think of anyone who wants to go out with me" or "None of my friends like that band…"
Step 5. Ask her out on a note
Put notes in his locker, in his book, bag, or sneak into his guitar case or other important item. Say, "Would you like to go out together sometime?" and leave your number. This will work well with guys who don't really know you, and will reduce the pressure. Not only is this an effective method, but it will make men think that you are funny and a little creative.
If you want to act romantic about this, you can even ask her out by letter, as long as your letter doesn't scare her
Step 6. Ask her out over the phone
If you want to ask a guy out but are afraid to do it in person, give him a call and ask if he wants to go out this weekend. You can also call him or her with a close friend or two to support you – as long as they don't mess up your phone conversation, being with them will help you relax and boost your confidence. If he says no, all you have to do is say goodbye and hang up.
Don't be nervous – make small talk first and move on to your questions
Tips
- Even when you have doubts, ask him! Men will think this is funny when women are a little nervous! This is especially true if you know he likes you, as this will take the pressure off a lot.
- Wait patiently for the response. If he says he needs time to think about it, let him think about it. It's always a good idea to let him think before making a decision because he'll be scared if he likes you too.
- Don't press him. Let him think about it, respect his decision.
- Try asking him when he's alone. When he is with his friends, he will try to act cool and will probably say no.
- Before you ask a guy out, make sure he doesn't have a girlfriend.
- Always listen to him and respond appropriately.
- Think about how he feels. It might be a little awkward, but just be yourself.
- Don't assume he's not interested or that he's not a man just because he didn't start first. A guy who doesn't ask you out may still like you but is too shy, or there are too many considerations.
- Ask him nicely, otherwise he can become stressed or anxious.
- Don't tell your friends to do it. He might think this is just a joke or a "challenge". This is so bad, the equivalent of not asking at all!
- Smiling will be interpreted as confidence. Looking down and grumbling will only make you look uninterested or inappropriate for a date.
- Be confident when he says no, and think of other opportunities to prove how great you are.
- Make sure you are a good friend. If you are mean to them, they will not like you. The sentence that says "If a man is mean to you means he likes you" is nonsense and applies to women the same way. If you like a man, be nice to him.
- Some guys may experience a painful breakup, so understand if he's not ready to go on a date or, on the other hand, he's just making you a runaway.
- You want to appear fully interested, not overly nervous (although a little nervous is cute) and not overly confident. Looking desperate is something that is not expected. Relaxed and friendly, that's you.
- Don't ask him out on a text message. Even though it's easier, you can't know the answer right away, or even no answer at all. He may be afraid to hurt your feelings, and thinks not replying to your messages will make it easier. And when you ask him out, you can see his emotions clearly, and he'll think about answering right away. Sometimes, in short messages, he doesn't really think he wants to reply to your messages. Like, he thinks if he doesn't answer your message, then he's rejecting it.
- When you flirt with a guy, be yourself and try to tell him what you think.
- Make sure you don't misinterpret the signal from him. Misinterpreting the signal will put you in a very awkward situation!
- Pay on a date, unless he wants to pay for it. If he wants to pay on a date, there's no need to doubt it, right? This will make you look like a gentleman and indicate that he is serious about pursuing you, which is what you were hoping for from the start! However, since you asked him out, why don't you treat him instead?
- Start with a calm tone and start quickly. Men would think it very well to have a boyfriend!
- Don't always think a guy will show his emotions towards you. He may be nervous and unsure about your feelings.
- Don't ask your friends to ask her out! He will think this is just a joke.
- If he says no, don't worry! There are many other men. Don't be too sad, just face it and smile.
- Don't show that you're only interested in the guy. When you face rejection; Men come and go but your lover is always there to support you.
- Believe in yourself!
- If you ask him out and he says no, ask him a week later. This will show that you are not giving up. Also, he may have been busy the first time you asked him out, so this will give him a second chance.
- Don't put pressure on him.
- Don't ask him over the phone. Better you do it directly or not at all.
- Don't ask her out through text messages. He may think your friend is a prankster and ask him out. Do it directly.
- When asking, make eye contact and smile gently.
- Don't overdo it and be yourself.
- Don't be nervous about asking your crush on a date.
