If someone dares to embarrass you, hurt someone you care about, or interfere with your life, don't be angry – take revenge. Getting revenge on an enemy can be a satisfying way to defend yourself or pay off your wounds. The key to revenge is to give punishment that is commensurate with the act done. Use your cunning to get revenge without risking getting into trouble or doing something you'll regret later. Also, if proper revenge is not enough, remember that “a happy life is the best revenge”.
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Method 1 of 3: Planning a Satisfying Revenge
Step 1. Register your enemy to the spam email list
Find out the email addresses of your enemies, then register their names with every advertising service you find. In an instant, he will get a lot of “junk” posts every time he opens his account.
- As a bonus, you can search for email lists advertising outrageous products and services, such as penis enlargement surgery, baldness treatments, or literacy programs.
- If you really want to complete the action, also send some fake mail containing beads, dog shit, stale fish, or rotten cheese.
Step 2. Send a witch doll to your enemy's house
If you want to make the stunt even more fun, search online quirky sellers to find a customizable handmade witchcraft doll, then submit a photo and description of the person you want to work with. Your enemies will be surprised when you open a mysterious package that can be delivered to your home in 3-10 working days.
To complete the spooky action, send some needles and letters to your enemy's house with the note "Don't let me use this thing."
Step 3. Scare the person while using the bathroom
It's a classic prank – prepare surprise firecrackers (also known as pop-its, cherry poppers, and devil bangers) from the nearest store that sells them, then stick 3 or 4 of them next to your enemy's toilet wall. When he sits down to urinate, the shock firecracker will explode so that the person will be shocked and will not want to urinate again.
To perform this action, you must have access to the enemy's house, or at least know when he will use the bathroom at school or work
Step 4. Offer your enemies fake vomit from bread stuffed with mayonnaise
Carefully cut the donut or sandwich, then replace the delicious cream inside with greasy mayonnaise, then cover it again and place it where your enemies can see it. Be sure to pinpoint the location by looking your enemy in the eye to trap him. The strange feeling that arises is guaranteed to traumatize him.
- You can use this trick for any type of cake with a cream filling, such as éclairs, cannolis, strudels, and macarons.
- Trapping people with mayonnaise-filled donuts is a great way to teach people who enjoy eating other people's food a lesson.
Step 5. Disrupt your enemy's rest time with an online wake-up service
If you have a mush's phone number, you can startle him when he falls asleep. Simply register the phone number with a free wake-up call service, such as Snoozester or WakeUpDialer, choose a time (the earlier, the better), and imagine your enemy's frustrated expression when awakened from a deep sleep via an automated message in the early hours of the morning.
- Chances are, your enemy will block unknown numbers when this happens. Use a different website every day to make sure that his phone keeps ringing and he doesn't get a good night's sleep.
- Aggravating this torment by scheduling calls every hour for the whole night. Thus, he will wake up with a start when he returns to sleep.
Step 6. Hire a professional to help you get your revenge secretly
Revenge through the hands of others has become a popular business. For money, online companies like Nefarious Jobs will plan and execute revenge schemes so you don't have to get your hands dirty. You just need to be quiet, relax, and enjoy the adversary's misfortune.
- Examples of some of the services offered by these companies are sending envelopes filled with itching powder, spoiling your favorite TV show, and sending information that you have an imaginary disease.
- Fun, most revenge services operate anonymously. This means, the pranks committed will not be connected to you.
- Some companies also provide retaliation consulting services if you wish to do this yourself.
Step 7. Pay a commission to a skywriter for writing embarrassing messages
Contact an advertising service provider in your area that accepts skywriting services. You can spread the shameful secrets of your enemies through writing made using smoke in the sky.
- Keep the message concise, but hurtful: sentences like “Budi Setiawan is afraid of squirrels” or “Joni still wets the bed until now” will embarrass your enemy.
- Schedule your flight on a sunny day in an area populated by your enemy's acquaintances, such as downtown or near an outdoor concert arena.
- Skywriting is a very impressive method of pranking your enemies, but it doesn't come cheap. You need to pay around IDR 10,000,000 to IDR 30,000,000 to leave a smoke trail, or IDR 5,000,000 per hour and IDR 20,000 per square meter to fly a customized poster.
Step 8. Sabotage your enemy's reputation or personal relationships
Call the enemy's parents and have a serious talk about their child's misbehavior. Send her boyfriend a message on Facebook claiming that you saw the person on a date with someone else to get him to fight with his girlfriend. Spread false rumors about the people closest to him and make accusations at the enemy so that the friendship is damaged. These tactics may sound dirty, but they are very effective.
Remember that when you are trying to take down an enemy, innocent people can become victims too. This is the risk of taking revenge
Warning:
Be careful not to make accusations that could get you into legal trouble. Defamation is a punishable crime, and you don't want to turn a personal matter into an expensive court battle.
Method 2 of 3: Finding Positive Alternatives to Revenge
Step 1. Don't follow your enemy's behavior
If someone does something that hurts or makes you suffer, the worst thing you can do is get back at it just to prove yourself. Doing this will injure your own honor, integrity and reputation. Stick to your principles and be a big hearted person.
- Choosing not to seek revenge can also make you feel strong. This shows that you are in control of your emotions and reactions.
- There is much to be learned from the old Spanish proverb, "There is no more honorable vengeance than retaliation not carried out."
Step 2. Transfer your feelings to friends and family
Talk to those closest to you about the actions of the enemy and the effect it has on your life. Often times, the fire of revenge is ignited by pain, not anger. By dealing with your emotions and revealing what really happened, you are on the right path to finding peace and moving on with your life.
Getting love from people who care about you is much more satisfying than getting revenge. In fact, scientific studies show that revenge rarely makes a person feel better
Step 3. Focus on the good things that come up rather than the bad things
Thinking about revenge can make you feel good, but if you overdo it, it can also disrupt your life. Resist the urge to open old wounds with a more vibrant way of life and enjoy the things to be grateful for. In this way, you can break the chains of hatred that are actually unhealthy for your mind.
- Try to see your enemy's actions as a lesson. The enemy can be a friend who stabs in the back so his betrayal can make you more careful in choosing friends.
- Don't be too bothered by your enemy's bad behavior. The fact that he bothers to interfere with your happiness means that he thinks you're someone important.
Step 4. Use the enemy's evil deeds as motivation
Bad words and actions can hurt, but they can also give you more energy. Channel your revengeful energy into exercising, studying, or pursuing a new hobby. In the end, you will feel better. This is the same as pointing the middle finger at someone who hates you.
- Intense forms of exercise, such as lifting weights, sprinting, rowing, or interval training are great ways to get rid of your emotions and get a healthier body.
- When someone tries to make you feel small, you have two choices: you can make it bother you, or you can use it as an incentive to do something positive.
Warning:
Anger and exercise don't always match – recent studies have shown that exercise when angry can increase the risk of heart attack by up to three times.
Method 3 of 3: Avoiding the Lust of Revenge
Step 1. Confront the person concerned about his behavior
Before you start plotting revenge, try to defuse the situation. Let the person know that you are not happy with their behavior and feel offended. As a good person, you have a responsibility to find a middle ground before things turn into hostility.
- Fighting back against a bully, for example, might be enough to scare them off. Look them in the eye, then say firmly, “Enough. I'm tired of what you did." You can also take a more diplomatic approach by saying “What's your problem with me? I never bothered you."
- If the person who hurt you is a coworker, choose your words carefully to avoid conflict and damage your professional relationship. You may need to involve your boss privately.
Step 2. Reply to your enemies with clever words
Sometimes, clever counter-words are the best way against someone. The next time your enemy starts to bother you again, think hard to find the right response. If you manage to tease his ego, he will think twice before bothering you in the future.
- If your opponent tries to insult you with "You're still wearing diapers, aren't you?", you can reply with, "Why do you want to borrow one?"
- A great example of witty counter-words comes from Dorothy Parker. When confronted by a drunken critic who says "I can't tolerate stupid people," he calmly replies, "I think your mother can."
Tips:
The best replies are those that come spontaneously. So, it is quite difficult to train. For inspiration, try watching classics by the Marx Brothers or videos of famous comedians dealing with haters.
Step 3. Ignore the person's presence
Instead of absorbing all kinds of distractions from your enemies or feeling pressured to think about them, you can calm your mind. The best way to get ahead of antagonists is to not give them your time, attention, or energy. If they are being annoying, just let them go and walk away.
- Do what it takes to get that person out of your life: block their social media accounts, avoid places they hang out in, and don't be afraid to keep them out of the way when you're spoken to.
- If you allow your enemy's words and actions to influence you when they are not there, your enemy has won.
Step 4. Take some time to clear your head before seeking revenge
Your desire for revenge stems from actions, events, or behaviors that have recently occurred, but it can also cloud your judgment as negative emotions arise. No matter how much you want revenge, hold on to it. When you can get over your anger and resentment in your heart, you may not want to seek revenge anymore.
