The ability to interact is an important factor for living a healthy, happy, and enjoyable life. Studies show that there is a positive correlation between the ability to interact and mental health. This article provides suggestions on how to improve your interaction skills
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Method 1 of 3: Improving Verbal Communication
Step 1. Pay attention to the volume and pitch of the voice
Don't speak too slowly or too loudly. Speak at an audible volume and show confidence, but never attack.
- Remember to adjust the volume according to the surroundings.
- If possible, speak at the same volume and tone as those around you.
Step 2. Learn the right way to start a chat
You can start by saying something that is generally true or universally true, not something personal because to some people it will sound insulting or offensive. For example, comment on the weather or the latest events you hear about in the news. You can also compliment what the other person is wearing or the way they style their hair. Small talk isn't always easy either because you might find it hard to think of what to say. Here's an example:
- "Nice hat, where did you buy it?"
- "Why is the weather so chaotic right now?"
- "I like the view from here."
- "Mr. Joni's class is fun, right?"
Step 3. Find ways to expand the chat
After discussing general topics such as recent events, try to bring up topics that are closer or related. Ask questions that go a little deeper than the surface. For example, polite questions about family, work, or hobbies can develop a conversation and make it more meaningful. Remember that chat goes both ways. So don't talk too little or too much. Try to ask open-ended questions, which are questions that begin with "How," "Why," or "What," not questions that can already be answered with just a "Yes" or "No." It doesn't encourage the other person to talk more. Here are some ways to expand and deepen a chat:
- "So what's your job?"
- "Tell me more about your family?"
- "How do you know the host of this party?"
- "How long have you been training/becoming a member of this gym?"
- "Any plans this weekend?"
Step 4. Stay away from sensitive topics
When interacting with people you don't know well, there are some topics to avoid. In general, these topics cover controversial subjects such as religion, politics, or a person's ethnicity/race. Example:
- While it may seem appropriate to ask about the upcoming election, asking who the interlocutor will vote for can be offensive.
- While it may seem like a common question about religion, asking about the church's views on certain sexualities may be a bad idea.
Step 5. End the conversation politely
Don't end the conversation abruptly and walk away, but maintain a polite attitude. Say in a sweet, non-offensive way that you have to go and give the impression that you enjoy interacting with the other person. Try closing the conversation with a statement like the following:
- "I have to go first, but I hope we meet again soon."
- "I have an appointment with the bank today, nice to chat with you."
- "I'd better go because I can see you're busy. Nice to chat with you."
Method 2 of 3: Improving Nonverbal Communication
Step 1. Pay attention to body language
Gestures often convey messages more powerfully than words. Remember that body language plays an important role in social interactions. Pay attention and think about your message through posture, eye contact, and facial expressions.
- If you avoid eye contact, stand apart, or cross your arms, you are likely expressing a reluctance to interact.
- Show a confident pose, smile more often, make eye contact with the other person, stand up straight and don't cross your arms. This way, you will create a good impression in the eyes of the other person.
Step 2. Observe how other people behave in social situations
Pay attention to their body language and think about why their interactions are better. Observe their posture, gestures and facial expressions, as well as the way they make eye contact. Consider how you can imitate or improve body language when talking to other people.
- Determine how well the people you observe know each other. This is important because the body language between two close friends who are chatting is very different from the body language between two strangers even if they are in casual situations.
- Remember what you saw and observed. These mental notes will guide and help you become more aware of body language.
Step 3. Improve your nonverbal communication at home
Usually, home is the best place to learn something new because you won't be clumsy in a familiar environment. You can record your chat with your family and then think of ways to improve your body language. You can also practice nonverbal gestures in front of a mirror. Enlist the help of a family member or close friend as an effective approach as they can provide useful feedback that others may not. Another tip is to pull your shoulders back, straighten your spine, and lift your chin so that it's parallel to the floor.
- The best part about home training is that it's private and low-pressure.
- Do not be shy. You are only facing the mirror. Try different body language, signs, and gestures.
Step 4. Show a genuine smile from the moment you meet someone
A smile is a universal language to show that you are open to others and to put others at ease. Smiling when meeting other people will make things easier.
Step 5. Practice eye contact
Try to make more frequent eye contact once you feel comfortable. Don't look the other person in the eye, especially if you're not comfortable with it because that can be annoying. Whenever you want to make eye contact, look someone in the eye for only 3-5 seconds. The longer it takes, the easier it will be for you to do it properly.
- If you are really close, look at the earlobe or the point between the other person's eyes. This is indeed a mock trick, but one cannot tell the difference.
- If you're nervous about making eye contact, some social psychologists suggest practicing with people on TV. Find a news program and try to look the news anchor in the eye.
Step 6. Take a little extra time when getting ready to go out
You will be more confident with your appearance. The extra time to make sure you look and feel confident will make social situations easier to deal with. Body treatments, new clothes or shoes you like, and looking your best will not only boost your confidence, but will also make you feel more natural when interacting.
Method 3 of 3: Applying in the Real World
Step 1. Find a place where people seem relaxed
Starting a chat with a stranger seems less risky and more acceptable to everyone in such an environment. There are some situations where it is easier to initiate social interaction. Supermarkets or banks are the worst places to strike up a conversation with strangers (they just want to clear things up there). However, coffee shops, sporting events, and community centers are great places to chat with new people.
To meet new people, try joining a group like an amateur sports club or book club. The fitness center is also a great idea
Step 2. Start small, like chatting with the service staff who helped you
Ask how the barista is doing. Say thanks to a passing postman, or ask a coworker how's weekend. You don't need to jump right into deep, invasive and exhausting chats. Start small. Remember, there's no harm in greeting people. You may never see them again, and small talk like this is the best practice to start with.
Step 3. Choose people who don't seem busy or uninterested
Approach him with open body language and an interest in getting to know him. Usually, this will create a good opportunity to start a meaningful chat.
- Show confidence when approaching someone. If you're too nervous, the person you're talking to may be nervous too.
- Remember to get rid of the phone. Checking your phone while chatting will irritate the other person, and make them think that you are more interested in your phone than you are talking to them.
Step 4. Think about the course of the conversation
If the interaction went well, remember what you did and repeat it another time. If the interaction doesn't go well, evaluate the situation to determine what actions or words you did that didn't impress the other person.
- Do you approach people who appear to be busy or who display closed body language?
- Is your body language open and inviting?
- Did you start the conversation on an appropriate topic?
Step 5. Talk to more people
Your ability to interact will improve with practice. The more often you communicate and interact, the better your skills will be.
Don't be discouraged by negative interactions. Usually, such incidents are not your fault
Step 6. Join a support group
A support group is a safe and comfortable environment for learning to converse with others. You're not the only person looking to improve your communication and interaction skills. Why not practice with others who have the same problem? The fact that you want to improve your interaction skills proves that you are a good, open person who wants to improve. Engage with a group of people who share a common goal to help you grow.
Tips
- For people who suffer from social anxiety and other mental health problems that make it difficult for them to talk to other people, recent studies have shown that group therapy focused on practicing social interactions can have a positive impact.
- If you've been diagnosed with social anxiety, consider seeking group therapy.
- Try to appear attentive while maintaining an attitude of respect and courtesy. A smile doesn't hurt either.
- Invite other people to chat with you in a group. People will notice the change in your attitude and begin to appreciate you.
- Always be polite, and trust that respectful interactions can teach you a lot when you try to be an example to others.
- Never forget that experience is the best teacher!
Warning
- Drinking alcohol or taking drugs may improve self-confidence in the short term, but it won't improve your ability to interact in the long term.
- Be careful with physical contact in social interactions. There are some people who are open to touch and physical contact. However, many find it inappropriate or even offensive. Establish intimacy first, and only then can you pat her on the shoulder or do a high five.
- Interaction is highly culturally dependent. Remember that what is appropriate in western society may not be acceptable in other parts of the world, especially in developing countries where people tend to be conservative and have different norms.
