There are two main reasons for getting annoyed with other people, it may be because you are interacting with an annoying person (a common reason) or (as everyone has experienced) yourself who provoked into feeling annoyed, while the other person was just doing something natural, breathe for example. You can defuse your irritation with other people by changing your mindset. Apart from making you ready to face any situation, this method is very useful for maintaining health.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Dealing with Annoying People
Step 1. Get in the habit of deep breathing
Breathing using your diaphragm can relieve stress. Take a deep breath while counting one to ten calmly and slowly. Imagine that you are on the beach enjoying the sound of the waves and the relaxing sound of seagulls. Feel the sea splash against your face and try to calm yourself down. Start remembering the wonderful experiences you have with loved ones, the successes you've had, and the joy of being free from responsibilities.
Step 2. Forget about how the other person “should” behave and what he “should” do
It is related to desire control. Often, we are very fixated on certain views about how to behave and act. This mindset sometimes causes resentment if someone's behavior is not to our liking on the grounds that “there are general standards of decency” that must be adhered to together. While we may expect others to behave appropriately, this desire can sometimes lead to resentment and disappointment. However, there are other tips you can use:
Don't expect too much from other people. Trust others, but don't expect them to wow you with their behavior, care, and speech. You'll appreciate other people more, if you don't demand too much. Having rational desires is the best way not to get irritated easily
Step 3. Ask what use is annoyance to you?
“What do I gain by being annoyed?” This question may be difficult to answer, but it's also possible that the answer is because you feel better than other people. But really what you want, judge yourself by behavior others or based on behavior yourself? Your identity will improve if it is measured on the basis of your own behavior, not on the behavior of others.
Step 4. Don't be afraid to choose the attitude of not reacting
When someone upsets us, our emotions are usually easily provoked so it's hard not to react. As a result, inappropriate words or actions emerge that we end up regretting. Instead of fixing it, anger often makes the situation worse. Take a deep breath while trying to calm yourself down, then think again about what you're reacting to. The answer may be none.
If a coworker likes to harass a female colleague at work, you can say, "Toyib, I don't think you should compare women to cows like that." However, if he's been harassing you in the same way over and over again, don't let him be satisfied with ignoring him
Step 5. Pay attention to your body language
Frowning, glaring, or being displeased are all signs of anger and hatred. If you act this way to an annoying person, he or she will get angry back because this behavior is contagious. Before you know it, the situation is getting worse. As much as possible, try to calm yourself down, maintain your attitude, and don't deny anything because it will show that you are upset.
Step 6. Make the best assumptions
Instead of assuming that the annoying person wants to upset you, assume that they don't understand what they're doing. Other people usually don't mean to upset you. He just didn't realize that his actions were annoying. In other words, he may be thinking about himself and not aware of your existence. Remember that you also think more about yourself than you think about anyone else. This applies to everyone.
Step 7. Ignore the little things
A small child annoys you on the plane; the man in line behind you calls while talking loudly; the woman sitting next to you has asked twice if the doctor has come. These will all come across as unimportant little things, if you can broaden your horizons. Your quality of life will be improved by learning to let go, overlook the little things, and focus your limited energy and abilities on the things that really matter: friends, family, health, safety, seeking new experiences, adventure, and create unforgettable beautiful memories.
Accept the things that can't be changed anymore. You can change yourself, change your hair color, and change your home decor, but you can't change anyone else. Focus your energy on the things you can change for the people around you to see
Step 8. Don't try to please other people
No matter who you are and what you do, there will always be people who don't like or think badly of you. Don't care about people who shun or antagonize you. It can be very upsetting to keep demanding that everyone likes you. This desire arises from selfishness that is self-defeating.
- Whoever you are, there will always be someone who doesn't like you. Regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual inclination, social status, there are always people who cannot see other people as human beings who have the same human rights. There are people who have succeeded in dispelling these prejudices. Unfortunately, this rarely happens and has to go through a lengthy process.
- Prove that the person who hates you has misbehaved by taking care of yourself. The best way to overcome neglect and prejudice is to forget them, move on with your life, and show them wrong by providing evidence. Show that you are awesome without showing it off in front of them, but simply by living life as usual. People who can't see it may not be your traveling companions.
Part 2 of 2: Coping With Your Own Upset
Step 1. Try to figure out what's bothering you
What upsets you? Is it really annoying if your sibling keeps making noise even though you've asked him to calm down twice or is it really nothing to lose if you get annoyed at someone breathing loudly? If you're feeling upset over something that doesn't hurt you, there may be other unresolved issues, either with other people or with yourself.
Step 2. Remind yourself that annoying people will really annoy you
Calm down and imagine what it would be like if you were upset. Do you imagine yourself as a blessing bearer who is always surrounded by people? Or someone who is hot-tempered, irritable, sour-faced who people shun because they don't like him. Let other people piss you off to experience what it's like to be someone you don't like. The best motivation to change the habit of getting annoyed is to realize that you may have been an unpleasant person at one time or another.
Step 3. Return to yourself the advice you would like to give to others
Try these tips if you're upset and don't know why or if you're frustrated that you're annoyed with someone. Prepare advice that you want to give to someone who is annoying, for example, because he or she is making fun of your friend and you want him to tell you that he wants to be more “caring about other people's feelings”. Instead of giving him advice, try to advise yourself while considering whether this advice is right for you. Yes, you! Do you care about other people's feelings? Do you have a good sense of humor? Can you see that your friend might find this joke funny? Sometimes the advice we really want to give others is the advice we should give ourselves.
Step 4. Realize that your annoyance may be due to a problem with yourself, not someone else
The most likely reason that we get annoyed with a certain condition or person is because it reminds us of ourselves. We don't want to accept ourselves as we are and thus reject other people or certain conditions by expressing resentment and anger. Ask yourself: Are you annoyed that this annoying person is a reflection of you?
Step 5. Try making small changes
Annoyance can be a sign that you've been in your comfort zone for too long. Try changing it. Change the layout of the furniture in your bedroom, read a book that challenges your beliefs, or go on vacation abroad. Making life changes that force you to step out of your comfort zone and into a new environment can ease resentment and foster compassion.
Anything that can develop and mature you can reduce resentment towards others. The more you learn about life and the more you understand someone's motivations, the less you expect from other people. The key to happiness in life is not expecting anything from other people
Tips
- Positive thinking can help you to defuse your irritation with other people.
- Know that accessing the internet can also irritate you, it's just that you're annoyed with people whose faces you can't see. Don't let negative interactions over the internet get in the way of your feelings, keep a sense of humor, and just ignore things that bother you. Tomorrow will be very different after you sleep well tonight.
- The better someone who you think annoying, your feelings will be more disturbed. Try to figure out your own problem before accusing someone else of causing it.
Warning
- Be careful with your judgment of upsetting behavior. If you always exaggerate small issues, you will end up being shunned by people and considered annoying because you are picky, petty, and rude to others.
- You can solve big problems by looking at each event separately. Observe certain patterns that have been causing serious conflicts that require mediation. Discuss your problem with a close, neutral friend or with a counselor if it's really bothering you, the important thing is not to just react. In any issue that leads to a major conflict, the overreaction is what he expects of you by making a fool of himself or getting into trouble with yourself for misbehaving.
- Recognize that condescending, insulting, and fearful behavior can be contagious. Don't show disdain, insult an annoying person, or try to explain why someone is so annoying. Insults to other people's jokes are bad performances that can quickly turn into bullying at work, school, and other group activities.
