You can learn to enjoy being alone, whether you're missing a loved one, a family member, or a friend. Keep in mind that even though humans are social creatures, that doesn't mean you can't experience happiness outside of your social circle.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Learn to Love Solitude
Step 1. Try to embrace solitude
The moment of solitude is the right time to reflect or think about various things more deeply. In a world that is increasingly oriented towards speed and competition, solitude is a valuable thing that needs to be considered important.
Comfort in solitude signifies healthy self-esteem
Step 2. Try to be happy and optimistic
The happiness you feel comes from within, regardless of the situation you are in. Don't use loneliness as an excuse not to enjoy life! See the bright side of things in life and develop an optimistic outlook.
Step 3. Reflect on life and its greater meaning
Some of the time you spend alone can be allocated to reflecting. Take time to introspect and think about life. Think about your past, present, and future goals in life.
Meditation is one of the most important self-building activities to do. Think about what makes you different from others. What do you believe? Why? Are there some things that don't seem right? What do you take for granted (or accept as true)?
Step 4. Don't overanalyze everything
Usually, it's easy for you to look at someone's experiences, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes and then make real assumptions based solely on your own naive perceptions. This can be a negative “activity” that makes you feel down. Realize that you don't always know everything, and that's okay.
Step 5. Do everything you normally do with a partner or friend
Sometimes, it's not your partner or friends that you miss, but the activities and hobbies you share together. Don't hold back anymore! Go and do the things you love.
For example, if you think that enjoying dinner or watching a movie is something you do with your date, simply head to a movie theater or a fancy restaurant for a treat
Step 6. Exercise 3 times a week
Exercise not only serves as a routine you can stick to, but it also keeps you healthy and feeling confident. Take 30 minutes, three times a week to exercise. You can visit the fitness center if you want to work out with other people, or just do a physical exercise at home.
- Rediscover fun in a simple sport. Cycling around the neighborhood won't feel strenuous, and it's even more fun when you start living and making it a routine.
- Show consistency. Sports require willpower and perseverance. Make an exercise schedule and stick to it. Do light exercise first until you find your limit. You can also register at the fitness center and make new friends there.
Step 7. Spend time outdoors and outdoors
The world is so vast and what you see is only a small part of it. Don't stay at home for days. Go outside, forget about the people, and just enjoy what life has in store for you. That way, people will want to get to know you and spend time with you. Actually, there is no choice but to make new friends!
Step 8. Engage in volunteer activities
Your involvement in charity work can make you feel more confident and satisfied with yourself. In addition, this activity is also the right moment to contribute to the community and help people in need. Search the internet for information about volunteering in your city. You can find a variety of activities, such as volunteering at a hospital, providing assistance at a city theater, coaching a youth sports team, or distributing food to the homeless.
Part 2 of 4: Doing Creative Activities
Step 1. Write a story, journal, or blog to express your feelings
Writing not only increases imagination, but also keeps you happy so that optimism in life is more developed. You can also write poetry or do research if you prefer.
Step 2. Read a book to stay entertained
You can read classic novels, works of fiction, poetry, or nonfiction. The time you take alone is the right moment to continue reading. Apart from being fun, reading can also educate and develop you as an individual. You can also listen to audiobooks if you want.
- Spend some time reading classics such as Marah Rusli's Siti Nurbaya, Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana's Sailing Terkembang, Hamka's Sinking of the Ship van der Wijck, or Pramoedya Ananta Toer's Bumi Manusia.
- Read novels of a certain genre. For science fiction novels, try Spora by Ahmad Alkadri and for horror novels, you can read Danur by Risa Sarasvati. If you want to enjoy fantasy novels, read Tere Liye's Moon.
- Also read some poetry works such as Seeing Yogya by Andy Sri Wahyudi, the collection of poems Tyranny and Benteng by Taufik Ismail, In the Dark by Amir Hamzah, or Ten Cubes by Mardi Luhung.
- If you are interested in philosophy, you can read the writings of Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche, Descartes, Aristotle, Kant, Rand, and Karl Marx.
Step 3. Listen to music that makes you feel good
Regardless of the type, you can enjoy solitude while listening to a pleasant song. Choose music that you like or that brings back memories of certain events.
Listening to natural sounds such as thunder and rain, birdsong, flowing rivers, and the like can help clear your mind. These activities can calm and relieve stress so you can feel happier and calmer when you are alone
Step 4. Sing, dance, or play a musical instrument to express yourself
If you don't like singing, try dancing. This activity keeps you focused on something. In addition, research shows that exercising or dancing can throw off negative emotions in a person. You can also try playing a new instrument or develop your playing skills on an instrument you already play. Remember that you are not doing all this for other people, but for yourself. Therefore, don't hesitate and express yourself to your heart's content!
Step 5. Draw a doodle or drawing to calm yourself down
Drawing is a fun and effective activity that you can try in your spare time. You don't have to be as good as Affandi to draw, but still paint and draw as you please. These activities can calm you down, describe your feelings, and relieve stress. Once you're satisfied with your painting or drawing, you can see the final result!
Step 6. Try doing a craft project that has been neglected so far
Handicraft is an exciting creative activity. You can make wood crafts, scrapbooks, or robotic works, use stamps or stamps, shape models, design t-shirts, embroider, knit, and more! There are various activities that not only fill your free time, but can also produce crafts.
Step 7. Play games to improve critical thinking skills
In fact, computer and video games can give positive results! Playing video games helps develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills, and improves hand-eye coordination. In addition, fitness games that can be tried through the console can also be an exciting means of exercise.
Alternatively, you can play table top games like Monopoly or Snakes and Ladders. There is always a game for each different field and skill level
Part 3 of 4: Seizing Learning Opportunities
Step 1. Learn a new field
Studying is the most important aspect of living your own life and keeps your brain busy at work. Without social responsibilities (eg spending time with your family or partner), you can learn more about a new field or interest.
You can focus on a specific field, such as geography or history, or study a foreign language
Step 2. Take up a new skill or hobby
Maybe you want to try an activity or study an area that can be done indoors, such as painting, yoga, math, science, art appreciation, or a musical instrument (eg piano or flute). You can also enjoy outdoor activities, such as gardening, fencing, tennis or golf. If you want, go for a combination of both. This means that you can do certain activities both indoors and outdoors, such as photography or drawing.
Learning is not confined to books (although books are a good source of knowledge). You can learn anything by practicing. Search the internet for video tutorials if you are interested in a new field
Step 3. Take an online course if you want more structured learning
If there's something you'd like to learn and you'd like some direction from a teacher or a new routine, sign up for online classes. Sites like https://schoolpintar.com/ and https://www.indonesiax.co.id/ offer a variety of quality courses (up to university level) that are available to anyone, with some materials or classes you can take online. free.
Part 4 of 4: Building Another Relationship
Step 1. Get a pet if you are dedicated to caring for it
Pets give love and become “figures” you can talk to or care for. If you are indifferent and independent, a tropical fish, hamster, musk, or finches can be a good choice. If you love interacting with pets, but don't want the hassle of complicated grooming, try petting a cat. If you want to have frequent physical interactions and spend a lot of time with your pets, dogs can be a great choice.
- Don't assume that smaller animals (eg rabbits or birds) don't need much care. Rabbits need daily interaction with humans and a few hours of playtime each day (this does not include the scheduled cleaning of the cage). Find out about the animal you want to raise early on, then visit a local animal shelter. There are tons of adorable animals waiting to be brought back to their new homes!
- Some animal shelters allow you to “sit” for animals. This means that the animal can enjoy “freedom” outside of the shelter and be the companion you desire, without requiring you to make a long-term commitment.
Step 2. Join an online community
Don't limit your online activities to games alone. Join forums or chat rooms to meet new people and interact with friends and family through social media. There are many online communities for different age groups, as well as different areas of interest or hobbies. Search the internet for communities until you find a suitable group.
Step 3. Chat with neighbors, classmates, and coworkers
Just because you live alone, doesn't mean you can't interact with other people. Talk to the people you meet every day at home, work, or school. Start a chat with the barista at your regular coffee shop, the librarian, or someone sitting next to you on the train.
Step 4. Make sure you don't accidentally close yourself off
If you're spending time alone (or alone) because you frequently decline someone's invitations or avoid other people, it may be a sign of a more serious mental disorder. In these situations, seek the help of a mental health professional. It's normal to feel lonely every now and then, but too often your mental health is in jeopardy.
Tips
- Go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air. Sunlight can increase energy. Meanwhile, at night the fresh air can reduce stress.
- Just because you're single and living alone, doesn't mean you can just go through a messy routine, neglect your health, or let your home get messy and dirty. Try to keep exercising, eat regularly, and tidy up the house and things. By being independent and well-groomed, you will feel better.
- Don't let other people (especially married friends) influence or make you feel guilty or "empty" about your single status or living conditions. As with marriage or any other bond, life as a single person is not something that everyone can live with. Enjoy independence and the choices you make about your own life and lifestyle.
- Remember that life has its seasons. This season, of course, is changing. If you want to have a partner, you will eventually reach that stage. Be patient and let your life go as it is because everyone's path and life story is different, and what happens in the present is not always the same as what will happen in the future.
- You can also learn or practice sewing, lacrosse, polo, surfing, and other challenging activities that open up opportunities to meet new people. It's time to meet fun and interesting people who can challenge you and make you a better person. Plus, enjoy the holidays and pamper yourself at the quiet beach or spa services. Enough to calm and cheer yourself up, right?
Warning
- It's important that you don't forget about other people in your life. Keep in touch with people and expand social networks. For extroverts, enjoying solitude may be a challenge.
- Just think that the solitude is only temporary. You will always meet new people.
- Be careful when talking to strangers on the internet. You've probably heard it many times before, but when you're feeling sad, lonely, depressed, or bored, you're more vulnerable and more likely to follow someone's cues or tips. It's fine if you want to chat with someone, but make sure you're only interacting with them, and not following orders or doing what the other person wants you to do.
