Interested in living a celibate life or a lifestyle that is not colored by sexual intercourse? If so, understand that such a life is actually not easy to live, but at the same time it can provide various benefits for you. Whatever the reason behind your decision, always remember that living a healthy and fulfilling life without having sex is not impossible. Therefore, start your journey by strengthening your willpower first. Then, learn different ways to avoid temptations that may arise. If you're currently in a romantic relationship with someone or want to do it, don't forget to share your wishes with your partner (or potential partner), and look for other ways to strengthen your personal relationship with them.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Adopting a Celibacy Lifestyle
Step 1. Determine what celibacy means to you
In general, celibacy means abstaining from sexual activity of any kind. However, each person may interpret the definition differently. Therefore, try to think about what a celibate lifestyle means to you, and find out the reasons behind this desire. This will help you to stick to that commitment better.
- For example, you might choose a celibate lifestyle as part of a spiritual practice. Also, you may want to develop yourself personally, or simply don't want to have sex before marriage. In some cases, the decision to celibate may not be made voluntarily, such as when you are sick, physically unable to have sex, or have an agreement with a partner.
- After making the decision to be celibate, you may or may not avoid any type of physical contact, including kissing, hugging, or other touching.
Step 2. Understand the benefits of celibacy to strengthen your decision
Living a life of celibacy can be difficult at times, but try to remember the benefits whenever doubts arise. Generally, you will have more focus when living a celibate life. In addition, your spirituality will certainly increase if you live a celibate life for religious reasons. Living a celibate life also has various positive benefits for your body's health, you know! Some of them are:
- You are not exposed to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
- You don't have to have an unwanted pregnancy.
- You don't need to treat your body hair as often as you normally would.
Step 3. Find the reasons that make the decision important to you
A celibate life will be easier to live if it is based on a clear reason. Therefore, try to work out the reasons that underlie your desire to live a celibate life. Then, use that list of reasons to keep your commitments in the future!
You might write, “More time to focus on myself,” “Growing spiritually,” and “Avoiding pregnancy.”
Variation:
Chances are, your decision to be celibate is voluntary or based on reasons you have no control over. For example, you may be married to someone you can't have sex with, or don't even have a partner to have sex with. In that case, celibacy may become unimportant to you, which is perfectly natural.
Step 4. Masturbate to release pent-up sexual desire, if you wish
If your choice to be celibate is based on religious reasons, you're more likely to avoid masturbating too. However, masturbation can actually be a good option for those of you who are forced to lead a celibate life. When you're alone, try to let go of your sexual desire through this behavior.
- For those of you who want to have sex but can't do it, masturbation can help improve mood and reduce stress levels, you know!
- There is no need to do so if you feel the behavior is wrong.
Step 5. Work with a therapist if you are struggling to live a life of forced celibacy
Not everyone is happy and satisfied with the decision to lead a celibate life, especially if the decision is not made based on their personal will. Remember, it's normal to want sex and feel frustrated that you can't have it. If the difficulties that arise are getting more and more disturbing, try consulting a therapist to let go of negative emotions, change your thinking, and find new strategies to deal with the condition.
- Ask your doctor for a referral to a trusted therapist, or find a therapist near you on the internet.
- Sometimes, the cost of therapy sessions will be covered by the insurance company. Therefore, don't forget to check the benefits you receive with the insurance company that houses you.
Method 2 of 3: Avoiding Temptation
Step 1. Avoid situations that can tempt you
Remember, the possibility of being tempted is always there! Therefore, try to identify situations that can trigger your sexual desire or encourage you to break commitments, then do your best to avoid those situations!
For example, don't go to bars if you have a tendency to go home with the opposite sex afterward. Do not interact alone with someone who is sexually attractive in the same room
Step 2. Have a routine that will support your celibate lifestyle
This step is especially necessary if you have just entered a celibate life. In other words, try to adopt new habits to maintain your commitment to living a celibate life in order to ward off any temptations that arise. Then, take advantage of these habits to replace old habits that can lead you to break commitments.
For example, you can start your day by praying or meditating to increase your spiritual energy. After work, you can exercise to release the energy that has accumulated in the body and avoid activities that you normally do. Then, at night you can focus on doing a hobby or reading a book instead of watching television programs that can make you think about sex
Step 3. Focus on the things that are important to you
After living a celibate life, it is likely that your mental energy levels will increase, especially because you are not thinking about sexual things. In addition, focusing on one goal will also help take your mind off any sexual desires that may arise. Therefore, try to determine goals, hobbies, or interests that are important to you. Then, dedicate your mental energy to those things.
For example, you can focus on spiritual attainment if the decision to be celibate is based on religious considerations. Or, you can also focus on your career, education, and goals you want to achieve in the future, such as writing a novel
Step 4. Take advantage of the practice of self-awareness to resist the temptations that arise
Self-awareness helps you to focus on the present. That's why it's an excellent exercise to combat the sexual thoughts that are bothering you. To do so, you just need to take a deep breath to get back on the ground, then activate all five senses at the same time.
Collect the things you hear, feel, smell, and taste. For example, you might say, “I see a very bright room with photos plastered on the walls. I heard music from the next room. I felt a breath of cool air from the air conditioner. I can smell and feel the strawberry lip balm on my lips."
Step 5. Find friends who are willing to support your decision
Chances are your friends who are sexually active won't be able to understand your desire to live a celibate life. Therefore, try to strengthen relationships with people who are also making similar decisions in their lives because they will certainly be able to understand your preferences and give you the necessary advice. These people can be found near you, or even in various online communities. Communicate regularly with them to build a strong support system.
Chances are, you can find groups of people with similar preferences on Facebook or the Meetup.com app
Step 6. Release the energy that has accumulated through exercise
Most likely, living a celibate life will accumulate physical energy in your body. If that's the case, try venting it out through fun, regular exercise!
- For example, you can walk, run, or exercise at the nearest fitness center on a regular basis.
- Avoid sports that require you to have physical contact with other people, such as dancing, wrestling, or team sports. Be careful, all three can ignite sexual desire in you.
Method 3 of 3: Having a Romantic Relationship
Step 1. Communicate your decision to the potential partner before entering into a relationship with him
Remember, some people don't want to live a celibate life! Therefore, make sure you bring up the topic before embarking on a deeper relationship with anyone. On the first date, explain that you are currently living a celibate life, and emphasize whether those preferences will last forever or will change after you get married.
You could say, “Being celibate before marriage was a very important principle for me,” or “I had to live a celibate lifestyle because of an injury.”
Variation:
If you already have a partner, discuss the decision to lead a celibate life with him or her before doing so. Explain your reasons, and give him time to understand the decision. In some cases, your partner may have different views so you both have to be willing to compromise. For example, he may support your decision, but you should allow him to masturbate periodically.
Step 2. Focus on creating meaningful relationships with other people
Indeed, a meaningful relationship is a form of intimacy that can replace sexual activity. Therefore, try to open up about things that are personal in front of your partner or person you like. Then, listen carefully to the response. Believe me, this method is effective in strengthening and deepening the relationship you both have!
If someone is talking to you, don't focus on thinking about how to respond. Instead, focus on listening to it. Then repeat the words again to show that you did hear them
Step 3. Find other ways to show affection to your partner
In fact, sexual intercourse is not the only way to increase intimacy with a partner. In other words, intimacy with your partner can still be maintained through hugs, hugs, or even holding hands. Plus, you can cook for him, help him with his daily needs, or give him gifts. Find ways to show your love for your partner without going through intense physical interaction!
- Think about the things your partner likes. For example, your partner may feel happy when you rub their back or help with their homework.
- Discuss ways to show affection for each other with your partner. That way, both of you will always be in the same perspective. For example, you could say, “I really love you and want to show it every day. What do you think I can do to make you happy?”
Step 4. Try to do couples counseling to maintain a lasting romantic relationship that is not colored by sexual relations
Having a sex-free marriage can be difficult if the wishes of the two parties are different. However, don't worry, because the longevity of the marriage relationship can still be maintained with the help of couples counseling! In the counseling process, you and your partner can discuss each other's feelings, respond to the various changes that occur in the relationship, and determine the right way to move on with life.
- Ask your doctor for help to provide a trusted therapist referral, or find the nearest therapist on the internet.
- Some insurance companies are willing to cover the cost of premium owner therapy. Therefore, don't forget to check the type of your insurance ceiling.
Tips
Living a celibate life is a personal decision. Therefore, don't let other people influence you to break those commitments
Warning
- Be prepared to hold on to your beliefs in the midst of increasing temptation.
- Sometimes celibacy can be excruciating if you want to have sex but don't have a partner. Don't worry, masturbation can always be an option to solve the problem!
