Everyone wants to be happy in life. While many individuals define success or measure happiness differently, there are some basic qualities of a happy life that seem universal. Studies show that regardless of your childhood, the way you live your adult life will determine your lifelong happiness more than your financial situation, or even your happiness as a child. Learning to live a better life and feel more positive about the world around you can help you live a happier and more meaningful life.
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Method 1 of 4: Living a Healthier Life
Step 1. Get rid of negative self-talk
Everyone must have negative self-talk. While some consider it motivational, studies show that this habit actually contributes to stress, depression, and an inability to cope. Learning to identify negative words that are often directed at yourself can help you to consciously replace them with more positive thoughts. Some forms of negative words that are commonly said to yourself are:
- Filtering. This behavior problem involves ignoring or “filtering out” all the positive aspects of your life or a particular situation, and instead focusing on only the negative aspects. An example would be ignoring all the accomplishments you've accomplished on the job and instead focusing on one problem that didn't work out.
- Personalize. This includes blaming yourself for everything that happens. It can also involve interpreting situational criticism as something you blame or have to blame. An example might be hearing that your friends can't come to the party and assuming that they canceled plans to avoid you.
- Predicting catastrophe. This means automatically preparing to expect the worst-case scenario. An example is assuming that the rest of your day will be bad because of one small hurdle at the start of the day.
- Polarizing. This includes seeing things, people, and situations as always good or always bad. An example might be assuming that because you are taking time off, you are not a good employee.
Step 2. Think positive things
Positive thinking does not mean ignoring the bad or unpleasant things in life. Positive thinking means approaching every situation in life, good or bad, with a positive outlook and a productive mindset. You can try to think positively in small ways every day. To start thinking more positively, try to:
- Identify the things you think negatively, and find out why
- Evaluate thoughts and feelings throughout the day
- Find humor in everyday situations and allow yourself to smile or laugh even when you're upset
- Live a healthy lifestyle
- Spend time with positive people (and avoid negative people as much as possible)
- Be gentle with yourself, the rule is don't think anything about yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else
- Trying to find positive aspects in negative situations
- Envision a more positive future for yourself, and determine what you need to make that vision a reality
Step 3. Practice sensitivity
Sensitivity involves developing an awareness of where you are, what you are doing and how you are feeling in the moment. Applying sensitivity can reduce stress, deal with anxiety and depression, and improve mood.
- Focus on breathing. Be aware of the physical sensations of each inhalation and exhalation through your nose, the way your belly rises and falls, and the feeling of your calves and feet on a chair or floor.
- Meditation. Activities that involve meditation, including long peaceful prayer, yoga, Tai Chi, or spiritual reflection can change an area in the brain called the "insula", which is involved in experiencing empathy/understanding others. Developing empathy (helping others), can help you live a happier life.
- Try to involve your senses in everything you do. When you eat, take a moment to look at your food and inhale its aroma. You may want to consider touching it to feel the tactile sensation of the food you are about to eat. Try to imagine what it would be like, and chew slowly to enjoy the experience.
Step 4. Eat healthy foods
What you eat has a big impact on how you feel. Avoiding unhealthy foods is not enough. You should also get vitamins and nutrients from all the major food groups, and don't overeat or eat too little.
- Most adults need 250 to 350 grams of fresh fruit or pure fruit juice daily.
- Adults should eat 375 to 600 grams of fresh vegetables daily.
- Choose whole grains over processed cereals. Adults should eat 170 to 250 grams of whole grains daily, depending on age, gender and activity level.
- Eat a variety of protein sources every day. Adults typically need between 150 and 200 grams of lean protein, such as seafood, poultry/eggs, tofu, beans, and whole grains.
- Choose low-fat or fat-free dairy products, including milk, yogurt, cheese, or soy milk. Adults usually need three glasses each day.
- Drink enough water every day. A common drinking guide in temperate climates is that men should drink three liters of water daily, and women should drink 2.2 liters. If you live in a hot environment or have a very active lifestyle (especially if you exercise regularly), you should increase your water intake to replace water lost in sweat.
Step 5. Manage stress in life
You can't avoid situations that cause stress, but you can find ways to relieve stress. You can use relaxation techniques, such as meditation, visualization, taici, yoga, and deep breathing.
- Practice deep breathing by inhaling and exhaling from the diaphragm (under the ribs), not shallow breathing from the chest. Try developing deep breathing patterns, such as counting to five as you inhale slowly, hold your breath for five seconds, and exhale slowly for five seconds.
- Practice meditation by sitting in a comfortable position away from anything that might be bothering you. Use deep breathing techniques and try to focus on your breath, letting go of any thoughts that are stuck in your mind without judging or engaging yourself with them.
- Use visualization to calm your mind and develop a better mood. Combine deep breathing with imagining calming images, such as relaxing places or situations.
Step 6. Develop a healthy lifestyle
Apart from eating healthy, you should also lead a healthy and active lifestyle. How well you take care of your body at a young age has a huge impact on your health in later years.
- Exercise regularly. Experts recommend at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity per week, or strenuous aerobic activity of at least 75 minutes per week. Try supplementing with strength training (such as lifting weights or resistance) at least twice each week for a complete workout.
- Avoid smoking, and quit if you smoke. You can use products that help with smoking cessation programs such as nicotine gum or nicotine patches, and it will help if you also attend support groups or ask friends/family for help.
- Practice safe sex by always using condoms and having an exclusive monogamous relationship.
Method 2 of 4: Finding Purpose in Life
Step 1. Determine what you value most
Everyone has some important things in life, but what do you value most above all? Don't think about physical and quantifiable things. Instead, focus on what you want in life and give it meaning and purpose. Some of the elements that people value in a meaningful life are:
- Faith
- Family
- Friendship/relationship with other people
- Mercy
- Excellence
- Generosity/service to others
Step 2. Find a challenging career
Personal development can give you enormous meaning and purpose in life. One of the best and happiest ways to achieve this is to find a career that challenges you to grow and develop as a person.
- Find out what activities excite you. You can start by assessing what you believe. Do you value compassion and generosity? Perhaps a career helping others will be very happy for you personally.
- Push yourself to get out of your comfort zone. Just because you are successful at a job doesn't mean you get real satisfaction or happiness from it. Try to find a way to follow your passion by volunteering, and if you like it, see if there's a way to make it a professional job.
- A happy career is likely to give you more purpose and satisfaction than big money. Of course you also need to be financially secure, but living with meaning is more important than acquiring meaningless wealth.
Step 3. Consider developing a spiritual life
For most people, spiritual means religion, but some people believe that spirituality does not require organized religion. According to them, spiritual life can be lived without associating oneself with religion, although for most people religion is the foundation of life that brings happiness.
- Start meditating every day. Learn how to control and take responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.
- Look for ways to increase compassion for others. Try to help people in need, no matter what the circumstances.
- Try to maintain hope and a positive attitude, even in difficult or tragic situations.
- Get involved with nature. Nature provides immense comfort, and many people feel that being in nature makes them feel spiritually blissful. Take a walk in the grove and take in the sights whenever you're out in the open. You can also get closer to nature by gardening or planting flowers in your home or yard.
Step 4. Find a sense of community in the community
Being part of a particular community is an important component of mental health. It can also give you purpose and meaning in life. Even introverted people are often happy and excited to be part of a larger community.
- Look for a group that has the same passion for something as you.
- Try volunteering with like-minded people for an activity.
- Join a book club. You'll interact with people who share your interests while engaging yourself through literature.
Method 3 of 4: Overcoming Challenges in Life
Step 1. Face your difficulties
Challenges may seem easier to avoid than to face. But avoiding the problem will only lead to more problems in the future and in turn make you feel out of control. The best way to overcome life's challenges and difficulties is to acknowledge and face them.
- Don't shy away from trouble. Solve problems as they arise, and recognize that they require attention.
- Think of a time when you have managed to deal with problems in the past. There is no doubt that you emerge from those problems with a greater purpose in life and stronger self-confidence. Keep that in mind when you face new and bigger problems, and calm yourself with that fact.
Step 2. Accept what you have, not what you want
One of the best ways to be content with living conditions (however difficult they may be) is to practice accepting situations as they are. While you might wish things were easier (like having more money, a more secure job, or even better health), lamenting what you don't have isn't going to make your life easier right now.
- Remember that without the hard times, you won't really appreciate the good times.
- Accepting life as it is now is the only way to truly appreciate all that you have. Be grateful for the existence of people in your life no matter how difficult things are right now.
- Know that in one way or another, everyone has more or less the same difficulties. There is no life that is not colored with difficulties, but perseverance and awareness that make life enjoyable and meaningful.
Step 3. Try to view problems as opportunities
It is not easy to take lessons from adversity or difficult situations. In reality, however, adversity often breeds new views of oneself, new perspectives on life, and even new goals.
- It won't be easy to view problems as opportunities for growth, but with awareness and lots of practice, you'll soon see that you really do grow and develop after going through the challenges.
- Acknowledge and always remember that life is full of meaning. Just because you're having a hard time (such as not having a job or losing a loved one), or even suffering from a physical/medical problem (such as a chronic illness or disability), doesn't mean your life is meaningless.
- Try to make problems to motivate yourself. For example, suffering from a certain disease may give you the opportunity to join forces with others to raise awareness of the disease, or even to join in the search for a cure.
- Know that even if the problem is not resolved as expected, you are still growing as a person and developing self-confidence as a result of facing the problem and trying to learn from it.
Method 4 of 4: Becoming a More Loving Person
Step 1. Train yourself to be grateful
Everyone is gifted with many things to be grateful for, but in the busy day-to-day life, gratitude is easily forgotten. Increasing gratitude in all circumstances and situations in life can help you feel better and find a greater purpose in life.
- Write a letter to someone you respect (parents, friends, spouse, etc.) and tell them that you appreciate them. Thank him for everything he has done for you and let him know that you really appreciate your relationship with him.
- Keep a journal to write down everything you are grateful for. Of course you can write about the big things that happen in life, but keep a journal every day and write down the little things too. Maybe hot coffee served perfectly at your favorite cafe is the boost you need to feel better on a gray rainy day. Usually, it's the little things that make a big impact on everyday life.
- Take the time to soak up the fun places and the things you come across. Allow yourself to pause and watch the sunset, or slow down in the garden to enjoy the colors of the surrounding leaves.
- Share good news and happy events with the people in your life. Studies show that sharing the good news with a loved one can add to the excitement and allow that person to enjoy a moment of happiness with you.
Step 2. Identify and use constructive feedback
It's hard to hear what other people think about your performance, but learning to identify and use the constructive feedback you receive can help you develop your skills and work towards a happier life.
- Please keep in mind that criticism can be constructive or not. For example, if after your presentation someone tells you that you have made a lot of mistakes and that your presentation is very boring, that criticism is not constructive. The statement is malicious and offers no opportunity for you to improve your next presentation.
- However, if a colleague says that he or she really likes your presentation but sometimes finds it difficult to follow because you talk too fast, that's constructive feedback. You receive compliments and can use the information to improve future presentations.
- If you receive annoying feedback, try to take some time for yourself before doing or saying anything in response. You can take a short walk, call a friend, or do something else to distract yourself. Wait until your emotions have subsided enough to think about how to use the feedback to improve yourself.
Step 3. Forgive yourself and others
Sorry is one of the hardest things to give to someone who has hurt you. Even more difficult is forgiving yourself if you have done something wrong. However, harboring anger, hatred, or even guilt can be very damaging to self, mental health/well-being, and relationships with others.
- We all make mistakes, and we usually learn from them. That is what makes a person a stronger and more caring individual.
- Forgiving someone else doesn't mean forgetting that person's mistakes. Nor does it mean you have to make yourself a doormat that other people step on. Forgiveness means acknowledging that everyone (including yourself) made a mistake, hoping that something is learned from that mistake, and letting go of anger and resentment.
- Apologies for other people's faults can often be given easily, but difficult to give for one's own faults. Don't set standards that you set for yourself that you wouldn't set for others. Accept yourself as a person trying to do your best, and try to learn from those mistakes.
Step 4. Develop compassion
Living with compassion will help you become a better friend, a more caring person, and an overall happier individual. In fact, studies show that genuine compassion and compassion for others can also provide greater insight into how and why other people live and think.
- See yourself in others, and try to see others in yourself. Your experience is definitely not that different from the experience of others, and everyone wants happiness, health, and love.
- Give warmth, humor and genuine hospitality to everyone around you.
- Try smiling at other people. Your smile may be the encouragement someone needs to get through a tough time.
- Everyone has obstacles to overcome. Every day we learn from life, so face if someone makes an occasional mistake.
- Get in the habit of thanking others sincerely. It's more than just saying thank you when someone does something nice for you. Learn to appreciate the patience, love, and effort of everyone in your life, including those you work with or for you.
Tips
- Living a happy life may not be that easy. Maybe you need a lot of effort and awareness. But in the end, it will all be worth it.
- Train yourself to live happier every day. Over time, the practice will become a habit, and then the feeling will emerge more easily.
- Be grateful and grateful for everyone in your life. Appreciate all the good things and good people in your life, and always remember that life will be amazing if you have the right attitude and support.
