You like a woman, but don't want to be in a relationship without her father's blessing? If the father of the woman you like is rigid and stubborn, asking for permission to date his child is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. However, don't worry, you can always ask a potential partner for help to bridge the relationship between you and your father. Even though the process of asking for approval is a very scary experience, try to remain calm and respect the father of the prospective partner. Build your confidence before interacting with him. After that, make sure you do your best to create a positive impression. Don't forget, your seriousness will be even more doubtful if your sentences are too convoluted. Therefore, make sure you convey your wishes honestly, straightforwardly, and clearly.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Building Confidence
Step 1. Show your interest
There's no point in talking to the father if the child isn't interested in you either, is there? Therefore, make sure you first show your interest to a potential partner. If it turns out that he likes you too, chances are he'll ask his dad for approval before you even tell him to.
- Don't know how to start a romantic relationship with a woman? Start by going up to him and talking to him. Try to find common interests or take advantage of the situation around you to start a conversation.
- For example, you might say, “Today's exam was difficult, wasn't it? What do you think your grades will be?” to start a conversation with him.
Step 2. Develop your relationship with him
After having a chat with him, try to make friends with him. Make sure you keep a regular communication routine and take her out with her occasionally. Show your interest in the things he does and don't be afraid to compliment him. For example, you could say, "Wow, you're so smart!" or "You're good at math, aren't you!".
After spending enough time together, try asking if it's possible to take the relationship to a more serious direction. You can say, “I love spending time with you. I think I like you more than just a friend. You want to date me?"
Step 3. Bring up the topic of parental consent
Once you've both agreed to go on a date, try asking for the possibility of getting his dad's blessing. Explain why you need his father's blessing and ask his opinion. If he supports your idea, ask what you want to know about his father, at least so that you have a more complete picture of his father's characteristics. Ask him if his father is rigid or possessive; also ask how his religious beliefs. Such information can help expedite your efforts to seek approval at a later date.
- You might say, “I know most parents don't like it when their kids start dating. This is why I want to ask your father's blessing first before our relationship continues. What do you think?"
- You could also say, “I know your family is pretty conservative. So, I want to ask your father's blessing before we go on a date. What do you think?"
- Chances are, the topic was even brought up by him before you asked him; especially since he knew his father wanted that too. If that's the case, ask him for his opinion on the best approach strategy that you should use. After all, he knows his father far better than you do.
Step 4. Prepare to communicate with your potential partner's father
This kind of conversation is not something you can have spontaneously and unplanned. When dealing with your partner's father, the feeling of nervousness that arises is prone to making you say the wrong words. Therefore, make sure you plan things well in advance.
- You can also write the plan down on a piece of paper (or at least write down the bullet points). Of course, you don't need to bring the paper in front of the prospective partner's father; but at the very least, writing them down will help you remember them better.
- For example, you could write, “Hello, Uncle. I met Om because I wanted to ask permission to date Om's son. I know Om may not like hearing that, but I want to assure Om that I really appreciate Om's child. I promise to take good care of Om's child."
Step 5. Build your confidence
Stay confident even when you're really nervous. Remember, self-confidence can make a more positive impression on the father-to-be, especially since you'll appear more serious and confident in what you're saying. Just don't look too confident; You will actually look arrogant in the eyes of the father.
- Make sure you practice the sentences that will be said several times before the D-day. With regular practice, chances are that your nervousness will be drastically reduced. You can also practice self-confidence by practicing it in front of your parents, friends, or closest relatives.
- Show your confidence through body language. Look him in the eye when you talk, especially when you're introducing yourself. Also make sure you stand straight in front of him.
- Make sure you always smile. When shaking his hand, hold his hand firmly and confidently. Don't be afraid to laugh at jokes or funny stories told by your potential partner's father.
Part 2 of 3: Creating a Good Impression
Step 1. Set a time to talk
Call the prospective partner's father and introduce yourself. When introducing yourself, make sure you describe your relationship with the child. After that, ask if you can meet him to talk more about his child.
- For example, you could say, “Hello, Uncle! I'm Robert, one of Jessica's school friends, Om's son. Do you think we can meet next week? There's something I want to talk about about my relationship with Jessica.". Let him know ahead of time about what you want to discuss so he can prepare himself.
- If you already know your potential partner's father, keep in touch and politely ask him to meet. Also explain who you are and what you want. For example, you could say, “Hello, Uncle! I'm Robert, one of Jessica's school friends. Can we meet to discuss my relationship with Jessica?"
- If he is willing to meet you, ask him to specify a time and place to meet. If he asks for more detailed information, say that you will provide all the information when you meet in person.
Step 2. Make a positive impression through your clothes
Who would be impressed by tattered clothes and stained sweatshirts? Of course you don't have to wear a suit; just wear a collared shirt or t-shirt, neatly ironed trousers and a tie (if you're wearing a shirt). Dressing neatly shows that you respect your future partner's father and your own potential partner. Undoubtedly, the chances of giving his blessing will increase drastically.
Make sure your clothes are also neatly ironed and buttoned
Step 3. Don't be late
If you guys agree to meet at 4pm, make sure you arrive on time. It would be nice if you arrive 10 minutes early to the meeting place. However, if you agree to meet at your potential partner's house, don't come too soon. Most likely, he's not ready to meet you yet. Showing up on time shows that you appreciate the time he has made for you.
Step 4. Introduce yourself again
After meeting him, make sure you introduce yourself again (even if you've done so on the phone). Say your name and reach out to shake his hand. Make sure you also re-explain your relationship with the child to give him a clearer picture of your identity.
- You can say, “Hello, Om! My name is Robert. I'm Jessica's school friend who at that time contacted Om.”. After saying it, shake his hand tightly.
- If you already know each other, of course you don't need to introduce yourself again. However, you still need to greet him and shake his hand.
Step 5. Don't be afraid to give compliments
Everyone loves compliments, as long as they are sincere. You don't have to compliment your future partner's father if you don't want to; but you can always give compliments about things in his life (like his house, his car, or his job).
For example, you could say, “Om's house is so artistic!”
Part 3 of 3: Communicating Effectively
Step 1. Say things clearly
Don't waste your potential partner's father's time making small talk. Communicating things clearly is the best approach. Doing so will also make you look more daring and serious in the eyes of the father. Start the conversation by clearly explaining why you are meeting him.
- For example, you could say, "I came to Om because I wanted to ask permission to date Jessica. I didn't really know Om before, but I felt the need to ask Om because I really appreciate Om as the father of the woman I like.".
- If you already know each other, ignore the sentence "I didn't really know Om before…".
Step 2. Explain why you want to date the child
If you're a teenager, understand the fact that most parents don't want to hear the word “love” come out of your mouth, especially because technically, you haven't dated their child yet. Don't worry, you can still express the things you love and appreciate about the daughter so the dad can better understand your goals.
For example, you might say, “I want to date Jessica because in my eyes she is very funny and intelligent. I love spending time with him, Om.”
Step 3. Consider the perspective
For all fathers, daughters are precious treasures that must be guarded carefully. Therefore, it is natural that they want someone who is able to respect and treat their children well. Make sure you allay the father-to-be's worries by explaining that you will treat and look after his child well in the future. [
For example, you might say, “I know that everyone who is dating Jessica should treat Jessica well. For that, I promise to do my best to protect Jessica and not hurt her. I know Jessica deserves the best partner."
Step 4. Give him a chance to talk
Good conversation should be balanced; meaning, you need to give him the opportunity to express his opinion. Allow the father-to-be to voice his concerns. Even if permission has been given, he's bound to have some advice he'd like to pass on to you.
- Listen to his words carefully. Make sure you listen carefully to every word that comes out of his mouth; don't just worry about your next words.
- Make sure you also display positive body language. Look him in the eye when he talks and occasionally nod your head.
- Conclude the words in your own language to show that you listen well. For example, try saying, “Oh, so you don't think you're ready to let Jessica date yet, do you? I understand that, Om.".
Step 5. Be willing to cooperate
One way you can reassure him is to accept his boundaries. After listening to his worries, calm those worries by agreeing on some terms.
- You can say, “I understand, Om. So what can I do to relieve Om's anxiety? I am willing to agree to all the limits that Om has set. For example, maybe Om would prefer if I didn't travel alone with Jessica. Early in the relationship, I was willing to date our other friends. Or maybe Om would prefer to accompany us if we go alone? I also don't mind as long as it proves that I deserve to date Jessica.".
- Understand the meaning of "blessing". Asking for the blessing of the father of the prospective partner means that you are finding out whether you are considered worthy or not to date his child. If you are considered worthy, of course the father will answer "yes". Meanwhile, if you are considered unworthy or have not been able to convince him, don't force your will and try to accept his decision. Don't worry, you can always try again with a more ready and confident condition in the future.
