Do you feel obsessed with your partner's past? Do you often feel insecure every time you think about the women who have filled his heart? Do you even feel threatened by the fact that he has shared his life with someone else in the past? Are these habits starting to disrupt your daily life? If so, try reading the article below to break this bad habit. Instead of obsessing over your partner's past, try to focus on building a better relationship with them. Believe me, besides being unhealthy, these habits will only make you suffer from prolonged stress.
Step
Step 1. Stop thinking about your partner's past
Sounds easier said than done? In fact, this step is not as difficult as you might think. Whenever your mind starts to fill up with facts about your partner's past, try replacing them with positive and pleasant images (like romantic treats of your partner or even your favorite clothing store). As you do so, focus your mind on your breathing pattern; feel the air coming in through your nose and filling your chest cavity, and feel the worry gradually coming out as you exhale.
Step 2. Realize that you may be experiencing retroactive jealousy
Basically, retroactive jealousy arises because it is triggered by memorable people or events that have visited your partner's life. For example, you may often feel insecure, sad, or even angry if you think about the women who have filled his past. The good news is that usually these people or events in the past don't pose a real threat to you or your relationship; in a sense, these people are no longer in touch with your partner.
Step 3. Don't “punish” your partner with bad behavior
Constantly obsessing over your partner's past will not benefit you and your relationship. Anger, sadness, insecurity, and excessive anxiety can actually trigger you to act beyond reason. It's easier to take your anger out on your partner (especially since he or she is the closest person to you and the "cause" of your annoyance). But is it wise to act when your suffering is actually caused by your own mindset? Don't punish your partner with negative and childish behavior! Whenever you're tempted to do so, quickly distract yourself by taking a walk outside, reading a favorite book, or engaging in a variety of fun activities. Taking some time out will help you calm down, as well as prevent you from saying things you'll regret later.
Step 4. Improve yourself
If you are used to thinking that the earth only revolves around your partner, sooner or later you will lose your identity. Try to remember how your life went before it was colored by its existence. Think of activities that you used to enjoy so much and try them again! You can also find a new hobby, get back in touch with old friends, go back to reading your favorite dusty book on the shelf, or just enjoy a pleasant solitude. Remember, high self-esteem is an important key to destroying jealousy! Write down all your strengths and achievements on a piece of paper; you will definitely feel better in no time. Believe me, you are a unique and great person. You have a lot to offer the world around you! Having a positive self-image will prevent you from comparing yourself to other women who have filled your partner's life. In fact, these women also have a variety of positive qualities that your partner is attracted to; but that fact does not mean anything because you also have the same qualities or even exceed them. Remember, you can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself.
Step 5. Strive for the sake of perpetuating your relationship and your partner
Maybe your jealousy is rooted in the fun things your partner did with their ex (perhaps they often go on vacations together to fun places). If that's the case, treat your jealousy by creating no less enjoyable memories with your partner! Invite your partner to do activities that you both enjoy, plan date nights, or try new things that are challenging. Enjoy each other's company, laugh as much as possible, and take as many photos as possible so that you and your partner can have a "treasure" in old age. Sooner or later, you'll find that the memories you have with your ex are just a thing of the past that you don't have to worry about.
Step 6. Remember, the past is an important factor in shaping one's future
You too must have a past, right? Take time to reflect on the various experiences that have colored your life; How much impact have these experiences had on who you are today? Everyone has a past that cannot be changed. Everyone makes decisions at some point in their life; no matter how bad it is, it's those decisions that shape their figure in the future. Remember, what brings your partner to you is the past. No matter how complicated his past journey was, he ended up finding you in the end. So instead of rejecting or judging his past, try to be grateful that without it, he wouldn't be in your life right now.
Tips
- Before loving someone else, learn to love yourself.
- Instead of busy thinking about the women who filled your partner's past, try to focus more on your and your partner's current happiness.
- Remember, you are a unique individual and have a lot to offer your partner!
- Ask your partner to confirm their feelings for you. Keep your positivity and try your best to maintain the longevity of your relationship with your partner.
- Whenever jealousy and negative thoughts enter your mind, try to divert them to more positive and pleasant things. This suggestion sounds easy, but is actually quite complex to implement. In fact, sooner or later these negative feelings will fade away on their own. Be patient.
