Rethinking your long-held ideas is scary and confusing, but it's also an admirable attitude. Considering your morality deeply is an important part of living an ethical life. Accepting something can be difficult if you don't understand it. Fortunately, understanding LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) people is fairly easy.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Viewing Gays and Lesbians as Humans
Step 1. Respect their humanity
This is the most important part of understanding gay and lesbian people. They are complex and unique like everyone else, and they also have dreams, goals, and passions that are more centered on their identity than a particular gender attraction. If you feel that you understand normal people, you are also trying to understand gay and lesbian people.
Step 2. Get rid of stereotypes
Some gays and lesbians fit into popular stereotypes, some people don't fit in at all, and most gays and lesbians fit some stereotypes, but not all of them do. Some normal people “look gay”, and some gay people “look normal”. There is no definite way to find out a person's sexual orientation just by looking, listening to the way he talks, or paying attention to his behavior. The more you learn to let go of stereotypes, the easier it will be for you to see LGBT people as ordinary people.
Step 3. Restraint your ego
Just as you can be disinterested in everyone of the opposite sex, gay people aren't necessarily attracted to everyone of the same sex as them. You may not be their type. Don't assume that a gay person is attracted to you just because he or she is of the same gender as you. He may not be interested in you.
Step 4. Interact with LGBT people
Research shows that people with homophobic beliefs report having fewer personal interactions with gay and lesbian people. Having acquaintances with LGBT people in your life will help you see them as ordinary people, just like you, rather than as some mysterious deviant. If possible, you may want to try reading books or watching television shows and movies with gay characters, or watching documentaries on LGBT issues.
Step 5. Study with other groups
There are many organizations that aim to increase heterosexual acceptance and understanding of LGBTQIA people. If you live in the US, find a PFLAG branch in your area of residence, or take the time to learn from the GLAAD or Human Rights Campaign sites.
Method 2 of 4: Realizing that being LGBT is not an option
Step 1. Investigate what the scientific community will say
While some would insist that sexual orientation can change, in fact all the major mental health organizations have issued statements that the facts are different, and warn of treatment aimed at “transforming” LGBT people. Some countries have even banned gay “conversion therapy”, in a response supported by scientific evidence that such therapy can actually damage and humiliate an LGBT person.
Step 2. Seek objective information about the “ex-gay” movement
Even within the ex-gay community, some believe that full conversion is still possible. Many ex-gay organizations have closed down in recent years, admitting that they cannot “cure” gay people from their homosexual behavior. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that people who are not attracted to the opposite sex can be turned into heterosexuals. On the other hand, there is ample evidence to suggest that trying to change one's sexual orientation can have very damaging effects.
Step 3. Think about the reasons why people choose to be gay
While the quality of life for LGBT people in the US has greatly improved over the last few decades, there are still many gay and lesbian people who suffer greatly because of their sexual orientation. About 40% of homeless youth identified as LGBT, and 68% of them reported that family rejection was a major factor in their behavior disorder. LGBT youth have a suicide rate 4 times higher than heterosexual youth. They also have higher experiences of abuse, chemical abuse, and sexual assault. There are many countries that declare homosexuality illegal, or even punishable by death. With all of these things in mind, ask yourself the question, “Why did these people choose to be LGBT?”
Method 3 of 4: Changing the Way You Think About Homosexuals
Step 1. Recognize that not everything has to do with sex
Of course, you wouldn't always ask your normal friends about talismans and their problems, because those things are none of your business, and shouldn't affect the way you think or how you treat them. Whether you "know" what people are doing in the bedroom with other adults or not, don't let this affect your understanding of him as a person. Sex is a very small part of LGBT people's lives and you shouldn't just dwell on it.
Step 2. Know the difference between a homosexual and a pedophile lifestyle
The concept that homosexuals are harmful to children is wrong. Fortunately, this trust is fading. In 1970, a national poll found that 70% of Americans considered homosexuals to be dangerous to youth, while in 1999 only 19% of heterosexual men and 10% of heterosexual women held this belief. Gay and lesbian people are people who are attracted to and/or form sexual and/or romantic relationships with adults of the same sex as them; but many child molesters are actually not very gender/age oriented. In 1978, a study was conducted on 175 men who were guilty of molesting children. The result was: none of them identified as homosexual. A similar study in 1992 found that only 2 child sexual abusers (out of 269 reviewed) were homosexual. There have been many studies on this subject and all have failed to find a correlation between homosexuality and child abuse.
Step 3. Learn about different religious attitudes
Many people criticize the homosexual lifestyle on religious grounds. However, there are many religions and religious sects that accept LGBT people. Some examples in the US are the United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalists, Quakers, and Reform and Conservative Judaism. For other groups, such as Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Methodists, and Episcopalians, they still debate this point, with some followers being more open-minded, and some followers being more opposed to it. Even in faiths such as Catholicism, Islam, and Orthodox Judaism, one can find individual believers who express their beliefs in a variety of ways. Trust/faith is your business, and you are free to believe what you want. However, this should not lead you to treat people with disrespect or cruelty. Let God judge.
Step 4. Fake it until you succeed
This process does not happen overnight. Even if your intentions are very good, you may still feel uncomfortable or confused with homosexuals. This will change over time if you keep trying. Today, the most important thing is to treat gay and lesbian people with respect and dignity. If you do this regularly, you may find that your understanding of gay and lesbian people develops naturally.
Method 4 of 4: Interacting with Gays and Lesbians
Step 1. Give them some privacy
The decision to recognize oneself as an LGBT person is a personal matter. If you suspect someone you know is gay or lesbian, don't just ask them about it out of the blue. If this is something they want to talk to you about, they will talk about it themselves.
Step 2. React well if someone tells you they are gay
If someone confesses to you, don't say "Ugh, seriously?" or “Uhhh, ok,” or even “Yeah, I know.” Acknowledging who you are can be scary and vulnerable. If someone starting to confess chooses to share this part of themselves with you, consider it a gift that shows their confidence in you. Thank him for trusting you, and remind him that you care about him. You can also ask, “How long have you been aware of this?” or "Has it been difficult for you to keep this a secret?", if he seems willing to bring up the subject. Don't pressure her if she seems uncomfortable, and don't ask things like, So, have you ever had sex with a boy?”
Step 3. Understand that not all LGBT people want to answer your question
While your desire to learn more is admirable, knowing that someone is gay or lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that you can fire on them to quickly understand LGBT people when you learn about them. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they are responsible for being your guide to understanding the homosexual lifestyle. Some gay and lesbian people can be happy to help you understand them, but you shouldn't assume this on everyone. If you know a gay person and think he might want to answer your questions, ask politely. If he says no, respect his decision.
Step 4. Support them when they are in trouble
Life can be difficult for LGBT+ people, as they may face discrimination, persecution (even from loved ones like family members), self-loathing, and confusion. If they are going through a difficult time, offer them love and acceptance. They may really need it.
Step 5. Use the appropriate language
Maybe this is obvious, but we have to remind him again never to use the word gay or anti-LGBT slurs. It is important for his normal friends to use polite language when referring to gay and lesbian people. Make sure there are no differences in words referring to people in the LGBT community. If you're not sure if a word is wrong or insulting, or you're not sure what the correct word is, look it up.
Step 6. Empathize
Empathy is the ability to feel “with” someone, rather than “for” them; it is the ability to put yourself in someone else's experience. If you're not sure how to respond to or treat someone in a situation, ask yourself, "How would I feel if I were in his position?" Recognize that your heterosexuality gives you an advantage in life that LGBT people don't have, and that bigotry of LGBT people can cause significant physiological and psychological harm. If you truly empathize with someone, you wouldn't want to make them feel that kind of pain.
