Going through the process of understanding who you really are can be overwhelming, but if you're willing to take the time and put in the effort to do so, having an understanding of who you really are can be an invaluable experience. If you can understand yourself objectively and honestly, you can learn to accept yourself and understand ways to improve yourself day by day.
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Method 1 of 3: Recognizing Your View in the Present
Step 1. Record your perceptions
Have a pen and paper ready and write a description describing yourself. Make this description as detailed as possible, revealing everything about yourself as a complete person: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
- Start by making statements like, "I am…" or "What I'm really proud of about who I am is…"
- Complete each of these statements by giving at least 8 to 12 responses.
- Also write down what your strengths and weaknesses are. In general, people can identify at least one strength and one weakness in themselves, and this need not make a person any more arrogant or inferior. Write down the things that can be a source of your strength and failure, according to your beliefs.
Step 2. Recall important moments in your life
Reflect on the stories of the past that you often tell. Ask yourself what this story says about you and why you feel moved to tell it to the people you meet.
Pay attention to what this story has to say, especially about yourself in terms of personality. Does this story reveal your honesty or courage? Do you really want to tell your story to other people because there are traits you have that can set an example for your daily behavior, or are you telling this story because there are other traits you want to develop?
Step 3. Rethink your childhood
In general, people express their desires and personalities honestly when they are children. Think again about what made you happy as a child, and what made you feel disappointed. Try to identify what beliefs you have believed since childhood. If there are beliefs that have changed, write them down, also note what causes this change in your opinion.
- For example, when you were a child, you were a child who could freely carry out activities independently as you wished. If you still value your privacy, then the freedom you have built into you is an important aspect of who you really are.
- If you are currently shackled by a series of obligations, ask yourself why things are the way they are. Maybe you've learned a new way of honoring family and friends, and your desire to fulfill these obligations is a part of who you really are. On the other hand, you may be burdened by demands that you meet the expectations of others, and in this condition, you are still as independent as you were when you were a child.
Method 2 of 3: Withdrawal
Step 1. Get away from the mirror for a while
Stay away from the mirror and don't look in the mirror for a week. This method will stop your erroneous views about your physical condition that you constantly maintain when paying attention to your appearance.
Once you're done with the days without looking in the mirror, you'll probably realize that the only person who really cares and is constantly criticizing your appearance is yourself. When you can force yourself to stop dwelling on what you perceive as physical flaws, you'll see that no one else takes your place to notice your flaws. Eventually, you'll realize that the negative beliefs you've held about your appearance all along are completely untrue
Step 2. Tell the noise in your head to calm down
Life can feel so demanding and your own thoughts can pull you in hundreds of different directions at the same time. Plan your activities for a few weeks so that you can ease your anxious thoughts and stifle the negative conversations about yourself that usually only make your schedule more congested.
If you're having a hard time calming the noise in your head right away, plan a vacation so you can temporarily break free from your self-deprecating habits. Clear out your tasks as much as possible so that, if there are any, you don't have much else to do during the week or during your "vacation." Set a schedule for the completion of your obligations so that there are no more things that make you worry and disturb your mind while you are on vacation
Step 3. Ask other people to be honest with you
You have to look at yourself from a new perspective that is good for you. Someone who knows you well can usually understand you very well who you really are, but unfortunately there are also people who are close to you who prefer to tell the truth about your failures. You should find friends who will be honest with you and ask them to tell the truth without fear of a reaction.
- You can make people feel comfortable accepting your ideas for criticizing you by criticizing yourself. If you can show yourself constructive criticism, the people around you will feel more comfortable telling you the truth according to what they see.
- There are people who are naturally more comfortable with being honest. Other people will try to be honest when they feel comfortable with someone. You should find a friend or two like this in your life.
- If someone gives you constructive criticism, listen carefully and accept what they have to say. Don't respond with anger and don't force the other friend to side with you or reject what they have to say.
Step 4. Respect others
Every human being does not like the treatment of others who make him feel unimportant, and usually, people who feel uncomfortable with themselves will try to find other people they can look down on. This kind of treatment can interfere with your perception of yourself. Do your best to find people who are worthy of your respect.
Respecting others also gives you a goal to strive for. No one is perfect, but most of the time, you tend to respect people who have positive qualities that you don't have. Respecting people like this can make you more aware of the qualities you don't have, and once you do, you can apply those same qualities in your life
Method 3 of 3: Understanding Yourself with a New View
Step 1. Analyze every perception you have ever believed
After you've given yourself time to break free from old perceptions, take back the list you've made and go over each statement you've written one by one. Ask yourself questions whether each of these statements is true and then discuss each one seriously.
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For each perception or statement you make, ask yourself:
- "Is this view of mine correct?"
- "Can I prove that this view is completely correct? Can I prove that this view is wrong?"
- "How do I respond, physically and emotionally, to this thought or idea?"
- “Are there any positive qualities associated with this negative view?” / "Are there any negative qualities associated with this positive outlook?"
Step 2. Leave your comfort zone
Test each of your new perceptions by forcing yourself to be a beginner again in a new activity. In uncertain circumstances, one's strengths and weaknesses will usually emerge. Pay close attention to how you react during this situation so you can better understand what the real positive and negative qualities of you are.
- A tip you can use is to try to find out what you don't understand and then force yourself to learn about it. For example, if you don't know anything about cooking at all, learn to cook.
- You should really pay attention to your responses and reactions while you are doing this endeavor. You also have to go through this process yourself. Don't rely on other people to get it done.
Step 3. Accept your failures
People don't want to make mistakes, but no one is perfect. Instead of denying your failures and mistakes, stop making excuses and admit your mistakes honestly. The same goes for the things you realized were wrong and all the things you've ever denied.
- Know that the ability to accept failure is an important part of understanding who you really are. In addition, you can only improve yourself if you are willing to admit and accept your failures.
- You should also break the habit of making excuses. For example, if you're in the habit of procrastinating, don't justify it by saying it's important that you've done your homework, so it's okay to procrastinate. You'd better admit to yourself that you've been procrastinating.
Step 4. Look within yourself
When you face a problem, first find the cause from yourself. It's very easy to accuse someone else of being guilty, but to avoid being unnaturally selfish, you must ask yourself if you are guilty in this situation too.
In the same way, you should see what's wrong with yourself when you feel tempted to complain about other people. If this happens, don't let it happen, and ask yourself if anyone else may have the same complaint about you
Step 5. Look inside yourself from the outside
Think about your goals, ideas, and desires. You may think of ways to justify and find excuses, but ask yourself, what would you think if you looked at it from someone else's point of view. If various responses appear, find out what caused them.
For example, if you want to be in a relationship with someone and feel that your desires are good, think about what other people who are not involved in this relationship think. If someone objectively gives you the view that you are naive and reckless, you should try to accept these qualities for what they are
Step 6. Create a report
Write down any new experiences and doubts you have during your self-image renewal process. You can write down how you feel, disappointment, or anything that has to do with this. The important thing is to write consistently and honestly.
- Each time you sit down to write a report, you must keep writing until you gain understanding or feel a higher emotion.
- Make sure you take time to write a report at a time when you can focus on the activity without distraction.
Step 7. Think about yourself in the right way
While you must be honest about your failures, you must also accept yourself as you are and be honest about your virtues. Having a self-image that is too low can be very detrimental, as can the consequences of having a self-image that is too high.
- You have to emphasize to yourself that you are worthy, even if you have made mistakes and failed.
- If you notice that you have perceptions that are unreasonably leading you in a negative direction, challenge this unwarranted guilt. If something is wrong and you're telling yourself, "I can't do anything right," immediately correct your outlook by trying to find some of the things you did right.
Step 8. Ask yourself the question, what kind of person do you want to be
Reconsider who you once considered worthy of being a role model to make yourself like them. Maybe this person turns out to be just the same as you used to be. Try to find what you need to do to change yourself and then make this wish come true.
