A broken heart can make you feel broken and painful, disrupt your sleep, lose your appetite, and damage your self-esteem. First, accept your heartache. This is the best way to move on with life after a broken heart. Take time to feel sad without being judged. Then, engage in positive activities that can help you understand what happened and move on with your life.
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Method 1 of 3: Accepting Feelings
Step 1. Don't judge yourself for having these feelings
It's natural to blame yourself in the midst of a broken heart for having certain feelings. Keep going and stop the judgment. Promise yourself that you can feel sad, angry, rejected, disappointed, confused or whatever feelings arise.
- If you judge yourself, replace that thought with a positive one. Say, “You are human. It's okay to have feelings like that."
- Allowing these feelings to arise without judgment is the key to letting them go.
Step 2. Let your feelings out if necessary
You will not be able to move forward towards a healthier and happier future if you do not overcome this pain. Don't try to delay or deny the feeling's existence. Let the feeling pass in a way that works for you-crying, sleeping, screaming, or telling friends are all acceptable outlets.
Step 3. Do mindfulness meditation
By practicing mindfulness techniques you can learn to accept your feelings. Try to sit in silence and focus on your breath. Breathe in through your nose and then exhale through rounded lips. When thoughts and feelings arise, try to name them and accept them.
- For example, if you're worried that you'll never find love again, you could say, "I'm worried about the future."
- Don't try to analyze the emotion further. Just breathe in then let it out and let the emotion be there.
- It's a good idea to do mindfulness meditation while doing physical activity, as this will help your body get rid of stress hormones. You can try walking or yoga while doing mindfulness meditation.
Step 4. Make self-care a top priority
Coping with a broken heart can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. So, take the time to care for your mind, body, and spirit. Eat well, exercise, keep a diary, and get enough rest.
- Other things you can do to take care of yourself are watch your favorite movie, spend a day at the spa, or pet your pet on the couch.
- If there is an urge to deal with emotions in unhealthy ways, such as returning to sex or taking drugs, resist the temptation by practicing self-care.
Method 2 of 3: Coping With Pain
Step 1. Tell someone you trust
Pulling yourself away or telling others to step aside will only make it more difficult for you to cope with the heartbreak. Tell us what you're going through and get support, encouragement, or advice.
Say, “I have a hard time accepting the reality of a breakup. Do you have any suggestions?”
Step 2. See a counselor
If you're having a hard time coming to terms with a breakup or you're struggling with anxiety or depression, ask a professional counselor for help. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and develop good ways to deal with them.
Ask your family doctor, loved ones, or friends for recommendations for counselors in your area
Step 3. Perform the ritual of forgiveness
Write a letter detailing everything that happened or talk to an empty chair and pretend the person who hurt you is sitting there. You may also want to repeat forgiveness affirmations, such as “I choose to let go of pain and annoyance. I forgive so that I have room for abundance in the future.”
You may not want to forgive the person who broke your heart, but forgiveness is for you, not for him. Forgiveness allows you to let go of pain in order to open your heart to possibilities in the future
Step 4. Focus on the lessons you learned
Wallowing in a breakup and dwelling on your mistakes won't help you move forward. Instead of thinking about it all the time, try to stay focused on the future. Ask yourself: how can I use the lessons I've learned for my future?
- For example, if you keep blaming yourself for sleeping with the person who broke up with you, you can choose to hold off on physical intimacy in your next relationship-at least until you're sure that person is willing to commit to you.
- You can also think about how to grow from that relationship. Ask yourself, "What did I learn from this? How can I grow as a human being?"
Step 5. Make notes in a gratitude journal
Write down a few things at the end of each day things that make you happy or that you are grateful for. This is a very good exercise because it helps you focus on the positive things in your life.
For example, you might write something like, "I'm grateful for my friends who helped me get rid of breakups, my job for keeping me busy, and my dog for being my best friend."
Method 3 of 3: Removing the Mind from Sadness
Step 1. Take distance from the source of your sadness
Moving forward will be hard if you are still in contact with the person who hurt you. Block his number, remove him from social media, and try to avoid places he frequents.
If the person breaks your heart, you can be tempted to beg him to come back to you or follow him online to see who he is currently dating. This behavior keeps you from progressing. Free yourself so that you can move forward by distancing yourself physically and mentally
Step 2. Enjoy the company of friends and family
Breaking up will make your time much freer, so use this free time to connect with loved ones. Make regular plans for shopping, eating, and watching movies with your friends. Have dinner with your family and call relatives you rarely contact.
Positive social relationships will help you stay busy and boost your self-esteem because you'll remember how many people really care about you
Step 3. Take up a satisfying hobby
Fill your free time with hobbies that have nothing to do with your ex. If you used to be on a sports team or volunteer at a shelter, start doing it again. Other activities you can try include painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument.
- Having a hobby that really suits you will help you meet new people who have something in common with you. It will also help you build new memories without your ex.
- Now is also the perfect time to learn something new! Try doing a new hobby that has always attracted your attention.
Step 4. Take steps to achieve important goals
Focus on creating an exciting life for yourself by targeting the few things you want to develop. Maybe you've always wanted to take a long-term trip, finish college, or lose up to 7 kilograms. Whatever your goal, have some doable steps and get started.
Increase your chances of success by setting SMART goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound
Step 5. Exercise to improve your mood
Support your physical and mental health by making time for physical activity. Try to do at least 30 minutes most days for a week. Fun activities to try include running, hiking, rollerblading, swimming, or self-defense.
- Pick 1 or 2 physical activities that you enjoy and commit to doing them regularly.
- Regular exercise can also drastically improve your mood and help with depression or anxiety.
