Have a crush, but shrivel up every time you want to talk to him? Maybe you're afraid of being rejected or saying something stupid. Do not be discouraged! Your chances are not as bad as you think (especially if you and your crush are already friends). Remember, if you do nothing, your chances are zero. After keeping that in mind, get ready to talk to your idol so you don't end up with a broken heart!
Step
Part 1 of 2: Prepare yourself
Step 1. Take a little time before you approach and talk to him
Getting ready is definitely worth it. You don't take a math test without studying, or pass a driver's license test without learning to drive. People who put the time and thought into winning the heart of their idol usually have a better chance of winning him.
Try to strike a balance between being prepared and being overly prepared. Your crush is "happy" to get the extra attention you want to give him, but he doesn't want to feel as though you've been thinking about it every second for the past three days. Kinda creepy, although maybe you really do
Step 2. Take some time to relax beforehand
Take deep breaths and practice letting your body relax. This is sometimes easier to do if you are not in a public place. Try relaxing in bed before bed or at home, as well as in the bathroom.
Step 3. Think before you speak
You can work around your nervousness - or get rid of it - by taking the time to consider the various options. Practice at home before approaching him, and you won't be caught in an awkward silence. There's no need to rush, especially if you want to make a first impression on someone important to you.
- Practice in front of a mirror. You want to be sure you know what to say, without sounding like you've been practicing. Think of situations that might provide an opportunity to talk to your crush, and practice in front of a mirror. The more you practice, the more confident you'll be when you have that conversation.
- Have fun doing it. Go ahead and try different serious versions of what you want to say, but say it so silly that it makes you laugh. The less serious you are about yourself, the more natural you will be when the time comes.
Step 4. Find out more about him
Take the time to see what pictures he has on his computer, or what his lunch was, or what sport he likes to play. Knowing these small but important details will help you in the conversation. Thus, you can say:
- "I see movies on your laptop. I love '80s movies. Do you have a favorite movie?"
- Hey, my friends and I are going to play basketball after school. Maybe you'd like to come along if you like?"
Step 5. Look for innovative ways to boost your self-confidence
One of the reasons you may fear heartbreak is that it will destroy your self-confidence. Don't let that happen. Don't let your confidence waver because of just one person. Much of your self-confidence should come from the way "you" see yourself. So, look for ways to increase your self-confidence before you start getting to know your crush. That way, you will become more attractive to him and won't be discouraged if something unexpected happens.
- Check out your Facebook wall. Studies have found that just looking at your Facebook wall for 3 minutes will quickly boost your self-esteem. There's no harm in trying!
- Spend time with your dad. Many studies show that children who spend more time with their fathers during adolescence can become more confident than those who do not. Note: It might be a good idea to hang out with your dad for a few hours before talking to him. This is for the best results.
Step 6. Don't focus on results
What does it mean? This means that you put yourself in a position that doesn't care whether your crush likes you too. Why is this important? There are two reasons why this is important. Helping you overcome resistance, which you eventually have to do. (If you haven't been rejected, you haven't tried.) Second, it helps you have a healthier relationship with your crush. There's no need to make your crush a superhero who will save everything in your world, instead treat him like a normal but special human being.
- "What?" your mind. "Why should I do that? I can't control it anyway." Maybe right. However, sometimes we think so much about our crush, and we imagine what life would be like with him or her, that we begin to develop an unhealthy relationship with that imaginary person. This imaginary relationship becomes so unhealthy that we cannot imagine life without this person, without the knowledge of the person concerned.
- Without relying on results, your confidence will grow even more. This appeals to a lot of people. You think being rejected by one girl or one boy is not a big deal, so just brush it off. Your self-confidence is greater than one person's rejection.
Part 2 of 2: Launching the Action
Step 1. Approach your crush when you're alone
Your first time interacting on a personal level should be in a casual setting without too many people bothering you. In the middle of a dance floor is not a good place to have a long conversation, for example.
- Approach your idol at lunch in the canteen. Ask if you can sit next to him and start a conversation. It's often that simple.
- Talk to your crush at the party. Whether it's a birthday party or a pool party, if you're invited, you have a reason to talk to him.
- Interact with him through mutual friends. If you're friends with one of their friends, go over to the friend and start a chat, waiting for your crush to give you a chance to say something.
Step 2. Introduce yourself
Once you've formally introduced yourself, all you have to do is say a short "hi" or "hello." Remember to look him in the eye when you say hello. Unintentionally, you're hinting at a lot of things if you stare at your shoes when you say hello.
Step 3. Ask questions about her
Ask interesting questions that relate to your current situation-usually "why" and "how" questions are best if you want to talk for a while. Oftentimes this leads to an in-depth discussion that can involve both of you, which is ideal for talking to your crush.
- Remember to try to avoid simple "yes" or "no" questions. If you ask "Did you study in Canada?" he doesn't need to give you long answers. If you ask "What is it like studying in Canada?" he will talk more.
- Ask about his background. Where did he come from, what were his parents' professions, how did he know A, B, etc. People, including your crush, love to talk about themselves.
Step 4. Remember to interrupt occasionally if your crush is telling a long story
This will show that you are paying attention to what he is saying. If you have a story to tell, make sure your crush is done talking before you start, and keep it short so he doesn't think you're thinking about yourself.
Step 5. Pay attention to your body language
Your body language communicates a lot, with or without you knowing it. Sometimes, your body says things that you can't stop yourself from. However, often if you realize what your body is signaling, you can correct it if you know it's betraying you. Pay attention to the following:
- Make eye contact. Making eye contact and maintaining it reveals that you are interested in what the other person is saying.
- Face him. Turn your body towards it. This means that you are interested in what he has to say and are not embarrassed.
- Smile. A smile that expresses the person you are talking to makes you happy.
- Flirt with body language, especially if you're a girl. Gently blink his eyes, play with his hair, or touch his shoulder.
- Laugh when you hear his jokes. Even if it's not very funny, smile and do your best to make your crush happy.
Step 6. Don't use cheesy words
Whatever you do, don't use cheesy words. Words of seduction sound cheap and ineffective. If you're a boy and can't think of anything to say other than flattery, read this article on how to start a conversation with a girl.
Step 7. Don't take yourself too seriously
Really. If you're like any normal person, being around your crush will drive you crazy. And when you feel that way, chances are you're doing something that's, well, pretty stupid. Get rid of it. If you're stammering, say something like, "Gee. I can't talk. I think it's because of being around a pretty girl." If you trip over your own shoes and he helps you up, asking, "Are you all right?" say something like, "Sure, I think I beat the floor."
Step 8. Ask her out on a date
If you think the conversation is going well, don't hesitate to ask when she has some free time. This could be anything from a few minutes at lunch tomorrow to a bonafide date with a movie or dinner - your request depends on how confident you are and how your crush behaves when you talk.
After some thought and you know he's interested in you, don't worry about asking if you two can see each other again after this
Step 9. Be aware of the situation
You won't always receive a warm welcome when you first start a conversation. If your crush seems inattentive or bored, ask if something's wrong: maybe it was a bad day for him, maybe he's thinking about something.
If nothing seems to be bothering your crush and their irritation with you is getting more and more obvious, make a polite excuse, walk away quickly, and consider trying another time
Step 10. Deal with rejection calmly
Maybe your crush doesn't feel the same way about you. If you believe this is why, the two of you can still chat but you have to accept that a romantic relationship between you two is impossible.
There's nothing worse than feeling unrequited love for someone who doesn't even realize it, so if your crush considers you a friend, accept it and move on
Tips
- In this context, your appearance isn't as important as your ability to carry on a conversation, but looking good doesn't hurt, so take extra time to pay attention to your choice of clothes, hair, body odor, and make-up (if you wear one). First impressions are forever!
- Giggling, blushing, fidgeting, and touching your hair or face are all self-evident signs when talking to someone you like. If your crush does this, pay attention - he probably feels nervous around you too.
- If you misspoke or say something without thinking, make it a joke by laughing or shrugging. Your crush may not notice that it's important to you!
- Try to stay calm and confident, but don't be mean.
- You just have to be polite and not scared. Maybe in the end it's better than you thought.
- If you're worried about what to say, make a list of questions/topics to talk about if the conversation starts to get boring. Topics that interest both of you will make the conversation a lot easier.
- For anyone who is seriously worried about talking to your crush, ask one of your friends to check the situation before you approach him. If he's in the mood to talk, your friend will be able to figure it out and tell you. If not, try again next time.
- Be yourself near your idol.
- Don't follow him wherever he goes, it's kind of creepy!
- If you don't want to talk to him directly, talk to one of his friends and maybe your crush will join in on the conversation.
- Don't be afraid if he gives you vague signals. He may not know how he feels yet, but if you do, keep showing your feelings and maybe he'll find out too.
- If this is the last time you will see your crush, tell him how you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, write him a letter, give him a hug, and move on. You will find someone somewhere.
- Show interest, but don't mislead!
- Try to find a seat next to him if you are in the same class. This move is accurate!
- Don't start talking too loudly or stray off topic to smooth out the action.
- Find out what he likes and try talking to him about it. This way the conversation will flow more easily.
- Don't imagine having a relationship with him. Sometimes you can get too caught up in this imaginary relationship and end up getting your heart broken more easily. Replace imagining being in a relationship with thinking about a conversation with him until you're ready to start a conversation.
- Tease him, but in a good way. If he flirts back, you know it's working. This is usually the most pleasant conversation you can have.
- Don't forget to breathe; Breathing while talking to your idol is very important. Breathing helps you focus more and calms you down, so breathe.
- And, be yourself because if he doesn't like you then he doesn't deserve you, Beauty.:)
- Make sure to always be yourself, because someone else already has!
- Don't overdo it around him and do silly things. He may mistakenly look at you and think you're not ready for a relationship.
Warning
Okay, so he likes you to have a crush on him, but don't bombard him with questions. And, don't say "where is your house" because your crush will get really scared.
- Know that after several attempts and failures, it's time to raise the white flag. Even if you think you can get your crush to like you if he talks to you more often, a relationship that's stuck like that will inevitably end in heartbreak.
- Don't be scared. As long as you practice enough and are prepared, this shouldn't be a problem-in your heart you should already know what to do under any circumstances.
- Whatever happens, be as natural as possible. Most people can tell when someone is faking or covering up. After all, don't you want your crush to like you just the way you are?
