Healing a broken heart is an agonizing journey. You will be able to move on with your life and forget your heartbreak if you can accept what happened and are willing to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being. One important thing to remember is that at the end of this journey, you will feel like you are yourself again.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Accepting What Happened
Step 1. Face your heartbreak
You have been hurt and feel sad. What you are feeling is a normal emotion and you have to accept that it is happening. Don't lie to other people as well as yourself by saying "I'm fine" when I'm not. You may be able to suppress it for a while, but something must have stirred it up again, and you'll feel even worse for being dishonest with yourself.
Step 2. Remember that sadness is normal
In fact, you can feel any emotion, including sadness, confusion, and anger. The key is not to let those feelings affect your entire life. Don't try to numb the hurt or swear you'll never be in love again. All of that will only hurt you more later. At this point, it's best to give yourself time to feel pain.
Step 3. Cry
Crying is a healthy way to express deep feelings, so if you feel like crying, cry. Find a place to be alone or with friends, and shed your tears. The cry will end sooner than you think, and you'll feel a little better once you let it out.
There are some inappropriate places to cry, usually in public places such as in a shop or classroom, so you need to control your tears in public. Breathe in deeply (inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth), and blink a few times to control the tears. You can try to distract yourself with physical movements such as squeezing an antistress ball. If you have tears in your eyes, cover them up by yawning or arguing that you're allergic or nauseous
Step 4. Let go of negative thoughts
Don't let negative thoughts control how you see the world. Negative thoughts include filtering, i.e. seeing only the negative aspects of the situation, and personalizing, i.e. blaming oneself for what happened. See if you see the situation that way, then find ways to avoid the negative thoughts that arise.
A good way to get rid of negative thoughts is meditation. Sit in a comfortable position in a comfortable place, alone and away from distractions such as television or other stimulation. Breathe deeply and clear your mind by focusing on a single object, repeating a mantra, or visualizing a peaceful place
Step 5. Re-evaluate your relationship
Think about what went wrong and why the two of you split up. There must be a reason behind every breakup. Also think about what you like about the relationship and what you are looking for in a new partner in the future. By thinking through all those ideas, you can develop as a person and find the right relationship later on.
It's possible that you and your ex have reached a point where it's comfortable to stay friends, but don't think too much about it at this point. You have to keep your distance after parting
Part 2 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Think of yourself in a positive way
Remember your strengths and be proud that you have them. Do what makes you feel satisfied, such as finishing a painting that has been left for a long time or an early morning jog. The key to overcoming a broken heart is acknowledging that you are going through an unpleasant event and realizing that you are strong enough to deal with it.
Make a list of your strengths. Remember all the achievements you have achieved and the good qualities you have. Making a list of strengths will remind you of all the positive attributes you are a part of or to read when you are feeling discouraged
Step 2. Talk to someone
You are not alone in this world. Find a trusted friend or counselor, or close relative, and share how you feel. Sometimes you will find relief just by letting out a suffocating feeling. Plus, you never know what another person can give you, good advice or a place to lean on when you feel like crying.
Step 3. Move your body
Exercise makes the body release serotonin (a chemical that makes you feel happy) and stimulates the growth of nerve cells. Emotionally, exercise helps you feel in control of yourself. In addition, your physical appearance is getting better.
- You don't need full exercise. Simple exercises of 10-15 minutes a day like jogging or yoga are enough to improve your frame of mind. You can also do other activities that don't feel like exercise, such as weeding the lawn. The important thing to remember is to stay consistent in what you do.
- If you're feeling down, it's usually difficult to motivate yourself to exercise. Overcome it by distracting yourself with something fun. You can take a walk in the mall or any other place you like. You can also enjoy other things while you exercise, such as listening to the music you like or watching your favorite TV shows on an exercise machine. This will divert your attention from exercise to something else that you enjoy. As long as you turn your attention only to exercise, there will still be fun waiting.
- You can always invite friends. Even if you can't talk or have something to talk about, working out with friends can be more fun than exercising alone. The responsibility of keeping appointments with other people also makes it easier for you to come on a regular basis rather than just being responsible for yourself.
Step 4. Beware of depression
Notice the big difference between sadness (a normal and healthy emotion) and depression. When you are depressed, nothing that you think about seems important in life and you can't stop thinking about the things that cause you sadness. If you see these signs or your sadness persists for a few weeks to a month, talk to your doctor or mental health professional.
Part 3 of 3: Taking a Step Forward
Step 1. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex
Memories here mean photos of the two of you, music “together” and gifts from him. While you don't have to throw away all of the stuff he's associated with (a cookbook you both want to try might come in handy later on), you should keep him out of sight.
Even if you're very angry, it's best not to destroy anything that may be valuable or sentimental to him (an expensive item or a family heirloom). If you keep things like that, it's a good idea to collect them and set a time for your ex to pick them up. This is not an invitation to get in touch again, so keep your message short and professional
Step 2. Stop all contact with your ex
Keeping in touch will make you sadder than you feel right now. Don't call your ex to cry or send passive-aggressive messages, and never communicate when you're drunk. Your ex has made it clear that he wants to get over his relationship with you. The best way to do the same is to avoid contact.
- Remove ex from social media. You don't need to know your ex's updates automatically given to you by Facebook or other social media sites. Avoiding such things will help reduce thoughts about him.
- Ask a friend for help. Don't ask or let them tell you how your ex is. Instead, ask them to help you get over your ex, even if it's just talking about something else or telling you not to contact them.
Step 3. Engage in new activities
The best way to forget the past is to create a new and bright future without him. Now is the opportunity to fulfill your desire to learn a new skill or try another activity. Enrolling in extracurricular activities or job skills, joining a sports team even if you only compete every week, all of these will still help. The goal is to distract yourself with new ideas and activities and meet new people.
Step 4. Help others
One of the best ways to take your mind off your problems is to try to help other people deal with their problems. Ask how your friends are doing or invite your family to share their activities. Don't let feelings of sadness make you forget the fact that there are other people who are also dealing with grief.
Don't limit yourself to only helping people you know. Volunteering will also help you look at the problem from another perspective. Join a volunteer team at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and focus your efforts on making other people's lives better. In the process, you may find new meaning in life
Step 5. Hang out with new people
After some time enjoying alone time, back in the arena of love. You can't shut yourself off. Just because you've lost someone doesn't mean you can't be loved or can never love again. Take advantage of new activities to meet new people who could potentially become partners, or if you want to use dating sites in cyberspace. You don't need to be in a new relationship if you don't want to, but it's best not to say no if someone wants to get to know you better.
Be careful of relationships that are actually just an escape. Opening up doesn't mean getting into a new relationship right away. If you go too fast, you may not be able to tell the difference between affection and sincerity, which will cause more pain for yourself and the new person
Step 6. Be patient
This process takes time, and while you're trying to recover, you'll have a harder day. Don't punish yourself for feeling sad when you're actually making progress.
It's okay to fantasize about your ex every now and then. The most successful way to think about something is to tell yourself not to think about it. Sometimes it can happen. Instead of suppressing thoughts about your ex, just accept them and then find something else to think about
Tips
- Sometimes you'll feel better telling yourself that you're important and that someone better is waiting for you.
- Entertaining yourself with short-term comforts such as unhealthy food or alcohol can help if the volume is moderate, but you should avoid harmful substances such as pills and other types of narcotics. Illegal drugs not only make you worse, they are illegal.
