Experiencing rejection is not a pleasant experience, in fact it is often painful. However, don't use this as an excuse to distance yourself from the girl who rejected you. You can still be good friends even if you have to try hard.
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Part 1 of 3: Dealing with Rejection
Step 1. Be polite to the girl who rejected you
If you want to continue to be friends with him, try to deal with rejection tactfully even if it's hard to accept. Even if his attitude is not pleasing, show a big soul by accepting rejection.
- When he rejects you, end the conversation by saying, "Okay, see you later" or something like that.
- If you see him again, say "Hi" with a smile.
- Respect his decision and don't bring it up again, at least for a while so he doesn't bother him.
- Don't insult or threaten him. He has the right to decide who he wants to date and doesn't deserve to be humiliated because he rejected you.
Step 2. Give yourself a chance to grieve for a while
It's natural to feel hurt and sad about being rejected. Instead of holding back, give yourself a few days to free yourself from the feeling by trying to accept the rejection. You can restore your confidence if you have gone through this process.
Everyone needs time to deal with grief and this is normal. If you continue to feel sad or depressed, you may have a psychological problem. Talk to a counselor or mental health professional for the help you need
Step 3. Deal with rejection tactfully
Recent events sometimes seem worse than they really are. Rejection can feel like a big deal, but think about it further. How much impact did this rejection have on your life? Maybe not too big.
Remember that rejection says nothing about you. Being refused a date doesn't mean you're bad or unpleasant. The positive things you have remain a part of your personality. You will find it easier to deal with disappointment if you are able to realize this
Step 4. Forget the problem by looking busy
The sadness will get worse if you don't do anything because you will continue to feel sorry for yourself. To overcome this, try to distract yourself by doing useful activities and thinking about fun things, for example, watching movies, walking in the park, biking, or having fun with friends at the mall.
Do activities that match your interests and skills. This is one way to restore confidence. For example, if you are very good at playing basketball, join a game with the school team. A good performance on the pitch will restore your mood and confidence
Step 5. Make friends when you can overcome disappointment
You'll have a hard time asking him to be friends if you're still hurt because you'll keep wondering why he rejected you, what you lack, and so on. This can trigger resentment or anger towards him. Before asking him to be friends, first overcome the disappointment of being rejected so that you are not even more disappointed.
Part 2 of 3: Making Friends
Step 1. Avoid hidden motives
Before making friends with a girl who rejected you, first determine why you want to be friends with her. Do you really want to be friends or do you wish for more? Even if you still like him, don't be friends so you can ask him out later. You will be rejected again if he already has a girlfriend or doesn't want to date you.
Besides, he will think twice about becoming your friend if he finds out that you have ulterior motives
Step 2. Have him chat as usual
Because he has refused your request, he may feel awkward when meeting or talking to you. Show that you are capable of dealing with the issue and are doing well, instead of being silent or shy. Discuss lessons, music, TV shows, and things you usually talk about with your friends. In this way, he will feel more comfortable meeting you and acting as a friend, rather than as someone he once rejected.
- After experiencing rejection, it's natural to feel nervous when you start chatting with him. Read the wikiHow How to Talk to a Girl to overcome the nervousness of starting a conversation.
- Invite him to chat by discussing things that foster a sense of togetherness. For example, if you are in class at school, discuss next week's course material or exams to keep the conversation going. That way, he's less awkward and feels more comfortable chatting with you as a normal friend.
- Never bring up his refusal as this will make him feel irritated and he doesn't like talking to you.
Step 3. Find out what his interests are
Friendship will be well established if there is a common interest. While chatting with him, find out his hobbies and interests. Maybe you guys like the same band or sports team. That way, there is always a topic ready to be discussed when you meet him and can be used as an excuse to ask him to go out together.
- While chatting, take time to discuss last night's band or TV show and then pay attention to their responses to confirm their interest. If he's not interested, take this opportunity to ask him what he likes.
- By knowing their interests, you can look for similarities that can be used as a foundation for building friendships. However, don't ignore a hobby or interest that you've always enjoyed. You are not being honest with him and with yourself if you do this because you want to please him.
Step 4. Invite him to socialize in groups
If he just rejected you, don't immediately invite him to work alone. He will be suspicious if you use this method to ask him out. Instead, ask him to bring his friends to make him feel more comfortable and you can socialize like normal friends.
- Watching a movie, working out as a team, playing bowling, or eating out at a restaurant are all activities that can be done in a large group.
- If your friend finds out that you've been rejected, remind her not to talk about it when she's hanging out with the girl who rejected you. A negative comment from one of your friends will make him feel annoyed and spoil the atmosphere that should be fun.
Step 5. Don't be in a hurry to ask him to do activities together
Be patient and be prepared if this never materializes. Maybe he doesn't want to see you if it's just the two of you. Learn to accept this fact. However, you can still be friends with him.
- If you want to meet him personally, make sure he knows that you don't want to ask him out, but really because you want to be friends.
- To make him feel more comfortable, invite him to meet in a public area. Don't make him suspicious by taking him to a movie at your house.
Part 3 of 3: Giving Freedom
Step 1. Don't contact her too often
He'll get annoyed and think you still like him if you keep calling or texting him. Treat him the same way you would treat any other friend. Do you call a normal friend three times a day? Probably not. Remember that you will be able to be friends again if you treat them as normal friends.
- There are no rules governing how many contacts are said to be too many as this depends on the situation. However, you can pay attention to the response. If he only gives short answers, delays responses for a long time, and you talk more often, it's a sign that he doesn't like chatting with you. So, don't contact him too often.
- If he says frankly that you're in contact with him too often, take this seriously and limit yourself.
Step 2. Set boundaries when talking to her
There are things you shouldn't do when you chat with him, such as his love life, his romantic relationship with someone (if any), his rejection, and other romantic topics. Choose a neutral conversation topic.
You can discuss the issue if he started it. Let him discuss it first to make sure he feels comfortable discussing more serious topics with you. Don't cross the line as this will make him feel uncomfortable
Step 3. Be respectful if he is already in a relationship with someone
As difficult as anything, accept the fact that he already has a lover. You are just an ordinary friend and have no right to interfere in his life. Don't misbehave with him and his lover by disrespecting them.
- Don't belittle her boyfriend or compare yourself to him. Don't talk about her boyfriend, unless he starts to show that you still respect his privacy.
- Someone who already has a lover usually does not like to chat with the opposite sex. While it's hard to accept, this is normal and you should respect the decision. If you're already good friends and he doesn't want to talk to you anymore, share your disappointment that your friendship has been broken. However, don't talk about this if you're just friends.
- Don't ask him for anything if he already has a girlfriend. Besides being inappropriate because you've been rejected, you don't appreciate it if you continue to ask him out, even though he's already in a relationship with someone else.
Step 4. Ask him out only if you are sure he likes you too
After you've been friends for a while, it's possible that he likes you too. Of course it would be very nice if you also still like it. However, don't ask him out until he shows an interest in you to maintain the friendship you've worked so hard for.
Warning
- Don't put off looking for a life partner because you keep expecting someone you like. Your dreams may not come true and you will lose the opportunity to experience things that change your life.
- If a girl finds out that you like her, she may ask for your help. Don't let others take advantage of your kindness. Do the same things for him as you do for your friends.
- If you are depressed, don't hesitate to seek help. Consult a mental health professional.
