Opening up and getting to know new people may be something scary for you. It's even more difficult if you've just been rejected by the guy you like. However, there's no point in lamenting your fate and feeling sorry for yourself for a long time, especially if for some reason you have to keep seeing the guy. Give him time to heal your hurt self, then try to communicate with him as if nothing happened.
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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Shame
Step 1. Change your perspective on the situation
Don't take it as a failure. Getting rejected from someone you like is not a big failure. On the contrary, it shows that you are brave enough to express your feelings while also giving yourself a chance to learn from your mistakes.
- Try to see this rejection as an opportunity to mature your personality and find what works for you.
- Take some time to think about what you could have done differently to turn that rejection into acceptance. This way, you can learn from your mistakes and make changes in the future.
Step 2. Don't rush
Rejection can be a bitter experience for you and can lead to hostility, shame, low self-esteem, and denial. Give yourself a chance to calm down and manage your emotions after experiencing rejection.
- He also needs time to manage his emotions. If you want to remain friends with him after the rejection, give him space and time to understand what happened. This will help clear up any awkwardness between the two of you later.
- Of course, the time required for each individual varies, depending on the situation. In general, it's best to wait at least 2 weeks, or until you feel comfortable imagining talking to him again.
Step 3. Be yourself
Even if he refuses, there must be a reason why you like him. It's clear that your relationship is close enough to him that you know he likes you too (at least as a friend). Don't change who you are just because of a rejection. Keep dressing the same way, talking the same way, and liking the same things as before the rejection. Continue your online activities as usual. Make a status, write comments for friends, upload your photos and other things you used to do before getting rejected.
Never change yourself to please others. Your uniqueness is your attractiveness
Step 4. Don't obsess over the rejection
One of the biggest obstacles to communicating with a guy who rejects you is forgetting him. Don't dwell on what you said, what you could have said, or if you handled the situation differently. Accept what happened. Don't think about it anymore.
- Imagining different scenarios in your mind will make your suffering even more protracted. What happens let it happen and try not to think too much about it.
- Tell your friends that you don't want to talk about the bad experience again and ask them to do the same.
- If you find yourself obsessed with the incident, try to distract yourself by doing something else. Call friends and invite them to spend time together or watch your favorite movie. Try rereading a book you enjoy or go for a walk outside.
Step 5. See this experience as an opportunity to become a better friend
Try not to think of this rejection as a painful event, but rather as an opportunity to get to know him better and the possibility of making good friends. Show maturity after the rejection and show him that you want to continue to be friends.
- Don't be cold and dismissive just to give the impression that you're not affected by the rejection. Instead, try to stay friends and learn to get to know them better.
- If you want to establish communication to maintain a friendship with him (or start a new one), try talking to him about it. Tell him that you value him as a friend and don't want to lose what you already have. Take him to a movie or a casual get-together with other friends.
Method 2 of 3: Talking Live
Step 1. Wait for the right moment to speak
Don't try to force your way into her life after the rejection. Wait until you are both comfortable. It may take weeks, or even months, before you can muster up the courage to talk to him again. Try to be patient and give the wound the time it needs to heal, then move on with your life.
- You can tell if he's feeling more comfortable by looking at his behavior. If he starts behaving like before the rejection, it means that the situation is almost back to normal.
- If he's making more eye contact, isn't that awkward anymore when you pass him, or your friends think he'll take it very well, then it might be a good time to start interacting with him again.
Step 2. Use friends as support
Instead of sitting alone lamenting fate, try to spend time with friends. This is especially important if the guy who rejected you is also part of a group of friends. Spend time with friends and show them that you're not just stuck at home and depressed.
Have a party at your house and invite him over. If not, you can go see a movie with your friends, even if you know they'll be there. Show him that you are a very pleasant person
Step 3. Start a conversation
Starting a conversation with someone who has rejected you can be very difficult at first. However, with a little effort, you'll be able to beat that awkwardness quickly. Try to talk to him like before the rejection incident. If you're having trouble, ask how he's been. This trick is powerful enough to encourage him to talk about himself and allow both of you to move on with your life and forget what happened.
- Try asking questions like, “Did you pass the math exam?” or “Is your sister coming this weekend?” or “What are your plans this weekend?” Basically, you can ask anything.
- If you become friends (or eventually become friends) with the guy, don't bring up the rejection. This will cause discomfort and you may regret it. He's bound to feel bad for rejecting you, for whatever reason, and will get the impression that you haven't gotten over the pain.
Step 4. Try to befriend him
Moving on after a rejection may not be easy, and you'll have to put in the effort if you want to succeed. Try to forget the embarrassment you feel in this situation. Make an effort to befriend him and show that you're not a weak person who can't handle the situation. Stand next to him in line and talk to his friends. If he stares at you long enough, he's more likely to want to join in on the conversation with you. This will let him understand that you are not afraid to talk to him.
Treat him as you would interact with other people
Method 3 of 3: Communicating Over the Internet
Step 1. Use social media
Using social media can be a powerful way to get in touch with a guy after he rejects you. This tool lets you signal to him that you're thinking about him without overwhelming him with messages, texts, or interactions that might otherwise go awkward.
- Start by giving a "like" for the photo he uploaded. Don't leave any comments, just give a thumbs up for the photo. Wait a few days, then leave a light comment about something he posted. Don't write anything too personal, just write a joke or a funny reference.
- During this period, don't forget to post a few things in your own account to give him a chance to get back at you for what you did. Do not exaggerate. You just have to post a few things to show that you're still a fun person and enjoying life, not crying alone over rejection.
Step 2. Start texting only occasionally at first
Don't bombard him with text messages (or other social media messages), especially in the first few weeks after the incident. After some time, try sending a short message asking something unrelated to your friendship or what's going on between the two of you.
Try writing a message that says, “Hi, did you get to watch the movie I recommended?” or "Hi. See you at Nadia's party this weekend. You came, right?” Write light, relaxed messages. This can be a great starting point
Tips
- Show a friendly attitude. If he's showing signs that he's happy to be friends with you, who knows this could lead to something exciting in the long run.
- If he rejects you, that's fine. One falls and a thousand spring up. Remember, there might be a nice guy out there who really likes you without you even realizing it.
- When you're trying to rekindle your friendship with him, never bring up your feelings for him. This will make things very awkward and make your attempts to be friends with him more difficult and longer.
- Don't stalk him. Give him room to move, or he'll think you're creepy.
