Regaining someone's trust after you lie will not be easy. It's very difficult for someone to trust you again after you lied, cheated on you, or did something else that really hurt their feelings. However, difficult here does not mean impossible. If you are willing to be honest, give him time, and don't repeat his mistakes in the future, slowly but surely you will be able to regain his trust and win his heart. So, how to do it? Just follow these steps.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Talk to Her
Step 1. Apologize to him
If you want to win back a girl's trust, the first thing you have to do is apologize sincerely for lying and hurting her. It doesn't matter if you're having an affair, lying about spending the weekend with your friends in Vegas instead of your grandma's or about other personal matters, he's bound to feel hurt, confused, and feel like he can't trust you anymore.. Let him know that you understand how difficult the situation is and that you deeply regret what you did.
- Don't say "I'm sorry" just because you think it's the right thing to do. You must apologize sincerely and from the heart. If you don't do it sincerely, he will find out.
- When apologizing, look him in the eye, speak slowly and turn your body towards him so he knows that your attention is really on him.
- You don't have to apologize a hundred times. It's all about quality, not quantity.
- Let him know that you understand all the pain and suffering you have caused. If he doesn't think you understand his pain, he won't want to listen to you.
- While you shouldn't blame yourself, let him know that you're hurting yourself too.
Step 2. Be honest about why you lied
You don't need to go into too much detail if this will only hurt her more, but you do need to be honest about why you lied. Maybe you want to protect him, maybe you know the truth will hurt him, or maybe you're even shy about telling the truth and want to cover it up. Whatever the reason, let him know why you did it. This will show that you're capable of being mature and trying to introspect, and that you're not just apologizing without learning a valuable lesson.
- Being honest will make him think that you will continue to be honest with him in the future.
- Letting him know your reasons will help him understand your perspective.
- Know the moments when you're better off not telling the truth. If you want to be with another girl because you're bored, it's better not to reveal the reason.
Step 3. Promise not to do it again
First, you have to be sure that this incident will not happen again. If you doubt yourself or think that you might do it again in the future, then it would be best if you corrected yourself first before starting a relationship with someone else. If you feel like you can't trust yourself, then there's no need for other people to trust you either. Once you're sure that this won't happen again, you have to promise him not to do it again.
- Show your sincerity when you say this. Don't make false promises.
- Let him know that you're not just talking. Make sure that the next action you take is in accordance with the promise you have made.
Step 4. Promise that you will change
Tell him that you will try to be a better person who will not lie to him anymore. Also say that this is not a process that can happen overnight, but that you will try to change for his sake. Describe things you would do to change, such as journaling, going to therapy, or simply being a more honest person.
Again, explain that you know this won't happen overnight. Show that you want to work on improving this because her trust is the most important thing to you
Method 2 of 3: Getting His Trust Back
Step 1. Give him space
Once you've told him everything you want to say, it's time to give him some space. The worst thing you can do to regain a girl's trust is to call or appear in front of her over and over again until she's completely fed up. Instead, let him know that you will give him space and wait for him to contact you when he is ready. This doesn't mean that you should cut off communication, but rather that you should step back for a while until he's ready to talk to you.
- You can try texting him or calling him every few days. This can only be done if you feel like he wants to talk to you but is reluctant.
- If you want to be cute, you can send her flowers. However, don't overdo it. If he is really angry, he will not be ready to accept your gift.
- You can do something as simple as writing her a letter to let her know that you're always thinking about her without looking too overwhelming.
- If you run into him, be nice and friendly. But don't talk to him for so long that he feels uncomfortable.
Step 2. Give him time
Giving time is as important as giving space. You need to be patient and wait for him to find you instead of pushing or pretending like nothing happened. To do this, you have to understand that he won't rush back into your arms after being hurt. Don't keep asking if he has forgiven you or is planning a romantic getaway to make up for your mistakes. Instead, give him time to think and act.
- Don't expect things to get back to normal even if you spend a lot of time with them. Be careful when touching her, complimenting her, or even spending time with her.
- Do not give up. It's natural to expect everything that happened to be forgotten in an instant, but this is certainly not possible.
- Be natural. You don't have to bring up the lies you've been telling all the time. Just be careful and wait for him to trust you again.
Step 3. Be a reliable person
If you want to be trusted again, you have to be someone you can rely on. This means that you must always be there for him, including arriving on time when he has an appointment. If you are unreliable after lying to him, it will be difficult for him to trust you.
- Help him as much as possible. Show him that you are always there for him. If you've never watched him play basketball before, now watch a few games to show you care.
- Let him be open and talk about his problems. This will show that he is starting to trust you again.
- You have to be reliable, but that doesn't mean you have to be his slave. Even if you're helping her out, maintain self-respect as much as possible. You don't want him to think that you're really putting yourself down for him because this is so unattractive.
Step 4. Be accessible
If you want to get his trust back, then you have to be an easy person to reach out to. You don't need to give him a copy of your schedule, but he should be able to know where you are.
- You can call him when he is away. If you're going to a baseball game with friends, let them know and give them a teddy bear with the logo of your favorite team. If you go to your uncle's beach house, send him a picture of the ocean and say you wish he was there.
- Don't be a mysterious person. If you are with him then you have to leave, tell him why.
- This doesn't mean that he has to keep an eye on you all the time or track your car's GPS. But he needs to feel safe when you're not with him so he can trust you.
- If you're away for a few days, don't forget to let me know. Try to call at least once a day and send him a few text messages to let him know that you're always thinking about him.
Step 5. Stay honest
As you and your partner start spending more time together, stay honest. Tell him if you feel upset, confused, or hurt. Also tell him if he makes you feel unfree or can't be yourself. He will want to know how you really feel so he can fully understand you. If you're still being dishonest with him and he finds out about this, then your relationship could end.
Be patient and keep speaking your mind. This will make him slowly trust you again. You don't have to tell him everything, but try to stay open to him
Method 3 of 3: Keeping the Trust He Gives
Step 1. Make her feel special
You may start to gain his trust back. However, how to maintain it? You have to make him feel special so he knows how much he means to you and won't lie to him again. To make him feel special, act like a real man. Ask him out on a date, compliment his looks and personality, and show your interest in his hobbies, thoughts, and goals.
- If she looks pretty, feel free to say so.
- Send flowers or a love poem if you like.
- Ask his opinion about things that are important to you like the latest haircut or important events.
- Find out about his personal life. You can ask about his family, work, or even his childhood.
Step 2. Try to be more open to him
If you want to keep his trust, then you have to learn to really open up to him. Tell him things you've never told anyone and make him feel like you care and trust him. If you share personal information with him, then he will feel that you really value his judgment and reactions and that you want to be completely honest with him.
- You don't have to say anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just make him feel like you trust him by sharing personal things in hopes that he'll reciprocate.
- If you give him time to really get to know you, he'll appreciate this and will see your sincerity.
Step 3. Be honest with yourself
If you really want him to trust you, you have to be honest with yourself. While you may have to make big changes in your life to stop lying again, you don't need to completely change yourself. If you're feeling humiliated or just wasting all your energy trying to win her over, then you're not really who you are and neither you nor she will be happy about that fact.
Make sure you feel good about yourself and that you feel like he's trusting the real you, not the "other" you made just to win his heart
Step 4. Know when it's too late
Unfortunately, you may never be able to win his trust back after lying. If it's been weeks or even months and you still feel like he doesn't fully trust you and you have to keep apologizing for what happened in the past, it's probably too late. It would be best to end the relationship before both of you get hurt by trying to fix something that's too broken to fix.
- If you feel like you've given everything you can but he still doesn't trust you, then maybe it's best to split up.
- If everything you've tried doesn't work, maybe it's time to start a relationship with someone new. However, remember to always learn from your mistakes.
- Once you realize that it's really too late, you should leave as soon as you can. This is better than sticking around and prolonging the pain for both of you.
Tips
- Don't lie if he asks about something he shouldn't know. He must have known the truth.
- Let him know that you care about him and that you didn't mean to hurt him.
- Show your sincerity. This is the only way to get your relationship back on track.
- If you can, never lie.
- Don't try to apologize via text. Be a real man and say it directly in front of him.
Warning
- Don't expect him to forgive you right away.
- As much as possible avoid lying. Relationships will survive on the basis of trust and respect, not dishonesty.
- Prove to him that you are not lying. Show supporting evidence.
- Correct all the mistakes you have made by giving a surprise. You don't have to buy flowers or anything too much. Make something as simple as a card or gift for her. He will soften because he sees your efforts to correct mistakes.
