Being an introvert can be challenging at times, especially if you want to interact with other people but don't know how. Introverts don't want to avoid friends or social interactions. Instead, they get strength from activities they do alone, and feel tired when socializing. Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't or don't want to have friends.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Meeting New People
Step 1. Look for groups that share common interests
Groups and events like book clubs, cooking classes, or running communities can be great places to meet other people while doing what you're passionate about. You can talk to these people because you at least share one interest. Plus, these shared interests give you a topic to talk about when you meet someone, instead of trying to find a conversation that introverts don't like.
Step 2. Attend events
It's unlikely that a new friend will show up on your doorstep, so you should try to find one. Events or public places where there are other people are the best places to make new friends. Look for events and accept invitations to attend. Begin to say "yes!" even if it is difficult to do so or you feel more like staying at home.
- There are many organizations and groups available for people who want to enlarge their social circle. It's easier to talk to people when you know their reasons for being there are the same as your reasons.
- If your workplace or friends are hosting an event, offer to help. That way you have something to do at the party, apart from trying to meet other people. If you feel like you've been talking to someone for too long, you can ask permission to do something party-related.
- If you're having trouble dragging yourself to an event, try giving yourself a quota. Give yourself space to socialize, but also give yourself time to be alone. That way you don't have to feel guilty about going to a party, or turning down an invitation to go.
Step 3. Use friendly body language
When you leave and you're willing to have other people come and chat, let them know that you're going to welcome them. By providing open body language, you will appear more friendly to other people.
- Show confidence through body language. Make sure your head is not down, sit up straight, and walk steadily. By looking confident, people will want to talk to you.
- Don't cross your arms. By crossing your arms, you don't seem like you want to be spoken to. If your arms are open, you appear more friendly to people who might want to talk to you.
Step 4. Reprimand the other person
It's okay if your greeting doesn't lead to a conversation. By saying hello, people think you are friendly. Maybe the person you're talking to doesn't want to talk right now, but he or she may want to talk to you later.
Step 5. Start the conversation by sharing something
Starting a conversation by telling something about yourself can lighten the mood. What you're saying doesn't need to be anything very personal or revealing about you. Simple sentences like "I'm new here" or "This is my first time here" let people know you want to talk to them and let them know something about you.
Step 6. Ask open-ended questions
This gives the other person a chance to answer freely and gives him the impression that you want to get to know him more. Many people like the opportunity to talk about themselves and share their thoughts, and may respond by asking you back.
- If you are attending an event, such as a class, you can try asking about the event. "What do you think the class was like?" can be an effective question and you are both interested in this.
- If you're talking to an acquaintance you don't know very well, ask more subtle questions like "How are you?" feels better.
- If you're talking to someone you've met before, try asking something personal, but not too personal, like "What do you usually do on the weekends?" or "Where do you like to go?"
Step 7. Practice social skills
Try to improve your ability to interact with other people. The only way to do it is the same way you hone any other skill: practice. You don't have to meet new people every day, but try to say hello and introduce yourself to people you don't know. Most conversations will lead to nothing, but this is not a problem. The goal is to be comfortable with people so that you get used to talking to people when you meet the person you want to talk to.
One way to train yourself is to imitate the social skills of people you like or admire. By having an example, you can also get a hint of what to do when you are around other people. Ask a more extroverted friend to come with you
Part 2 of 2: Making New Friends
Step 1. Be yourself
Focus on the things that interest you, and you can meet people who share those interests too. Shared interests are a great foundation for friendship.
When speaking to someone you've just met, be careful about controversial topics. There's nothing wrong with being interested in topics like politics or religion, but bringing up these topics right away can turn people off. But if you join a group that happens to have similar interests and perspectives on this topic, you can talk about it
Step 2. Create a contact
To make friends, you have to put in a little effort. Call or text him, arrange a time to meet outside where you normally meet. It's okay if you come across as a little desperate. You may find this attitude exaggerated because you're an introvert, but for other people this may be what they're looking for.
- Making plans to see each other again is a good way to stay in touch, especially if the plans are clear. If this plan comes to fruition, at least the person knows that you are willing to meet again and may be motivated to make friends with you.
- Try to be specific when making plans. For example, instead of saying, "Let's see each other again," try saying, "Would you like to see the new Spielberg movie this Saturday?" Thus, you will most likely do what you have planned.
Step 3. Reply to the message
If someone tries to communicate with you, return the call. You may wait a moment before calling him again. But don't let you not return calls or messages because even people who want to be your friends can stay away.
Refusing to communicate, by telephone or other medium, not because of an introverted personality. It could be because of shyness, or it could be because of depression. These two things are not the same as being introverted
Step 4. Use different forms of communication
Communication does not mean over the phone. Introverts may not always enjoy talking on the phone because contextual clues such as body language are not available and they don't have much control over the conversation. Text messages, video chats and even letters can be great ways to maintain a relationship. Make sure you and the person you are communicating with are both comfortable with this way of communicating.
Step 5. Try to be patient
Friendship is a process and takes time. Don't worry if it feels awkward at first, and remember that things will get easier once you get past that point. Even if you're not sure at first, try to fake it until you get past it.
Tips
- Introverts are often seen as arrogant or judgmental. The other person may not come to you because he or she doesn't understand how you connect to the world. You have to be proactive so he can understand you.
- Smile and laugh when you want to! It's okay to want to show emotions, especially happy emotions.
- Maybe you just can't get along with someone no matter how many times you talk to them. This isn't a problem either. You won't be able to be everyone's friend so don't get caught up in this.
