Self-mutilation is a fairly common form of self-injury. This behavior occurs when a person intentionally injures himself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, overly complicated situations, or certain experiences. This habit may make you feel better in the moment and help you take control of the situation for a while. However, in the long run the habit of cutting yourself usually makes you feel worse. In addition, this habit can also put you in danger. There is no "magic" solution to breaking the habit of cutting yourself. However, it is important that you be kind to yourself and not give yourself mental punishment. If you want to start a significant recovery process, there are several avenues you can take to break the habit.
If you or someone you care about is contemplating suicide, see the Additional Resources section at the end of the article to contact the appropriate person/party.
Step
Method 1 of 5: Fighting the Push
Step 1. Go to a place where you can't cut yourself
If you feel the urge to cut yourself, visit places where it is difficult for you to do so. You can visit a public place, such as a coffee shop or family room (with family or roommates). This step will make it difficult for you to follow the urge. In addition, you can also feel better, especially when surrounded by people who love and support you.
Step 2. Call someone
If you're home alone or have nowhere to go, call someone you'd love to chat with when the urge to cut yourself hits. You can call a family member, a trusted friend, or a specific hotline. It's a good idea to make a list of people who can be contacted. You can also program the required numbers on the phone.
- There are several services or hotlines in Indonesia that you can contact for assistance. One of them is the emergency service 119, a 24-hour hotline that now focuses not only on handling incidental emergencies, but also on suicide prevention. You can also contact the Ministry of Health's call center at (021) 500-567. In addition, the Save Yourselves platform can also be contacted, either by telephone (081283326501/081272714238) or the LINE messaging application (@vol7074h) for counseling.
- If you injure yourself or want to see a doctor, call 119 in advance or visit the nearest hospital immediately for quick support and a referral to a doctor in your city.
- If you live in the UK, you can call Samaritans on 116 123, an agency that is active 24 hours a day and is dedicated to dealing with emerging moments of self-injury. You can also call Childline, the hotline for children and youth at 0800 1111. Both numbers can be called free of charge, either by cell phone or landline, and will not appear on the phone bill.
Step 3. Distract yourself
One great way to avoid self-injurious behavior is to distract yourself. However, not all diversion techniques are suitable for everyone, so you will need to try several techniques before finding the one that works for you. Sometimes, the trigger or urge to cut yourself can be different, depending on the feeling or the situation at hand. This means that your response to preventing or stopping your self-injurious behavior will be different.
- Try the butterfly method (butterfly method). When you feel the urge, draw a butterfly on the part of the body you want to cut and name the butterfly after a loved one (or a person wishing you a speedy recovery). If you cut the part, the butterfly will also "die". On the other hand, you have to wash the body part. If the butterfly image disappears, and you can't stop yourself from cutting yourself, you have successfully "released" the butterfly into the wild.
- Another suggestion is the pen method. Take a red pen and draw a line, scribble, peace symbol, or other symbol on the part of the body you want to cut. When you're done, count the lines you drew. The number of lines or symbols represents the number of wounds you will not get.
- If these methods don't work, try combing or styling your hair, making a cup of tea, counting to 500 or 1,000, solving jigsaw puzzles or brain teasers, seeing other people, playing a musical instrument, watching TV or movies, coloring nails, managing things (eg books or wardrobe), making origami crafts to keep your hands moving, doing activities, exercising, taking walks, creating a dance routine, or trying out an art project or coloring pictures. There are various possibilities that you can try. However, make sure the activities you choose can distract you well.
Step 4. Delay the urge to cut yourself
Each time the urge arises, postpone your desire. Start with a short period of time (eg 10 minutes) and extend it each time you wait.
- While waiting, think about the unwanted scars and how much you don't want to hurt yourself, even though you're thinking about the urge and might want to do it. Repeat affirmative sentences like "I don't deserve to be hurt" to yourself, even if you don't believe it at first.
- Remember that you always have the option of not cutting yourself. This decision is entirely up to you.
Method 2 of 5: Learning Defensive Strategies
Step 1. Try the five senses strategy
The ability to survive is needed in the recovery process. This ability helps deal with urges and releases brain endorphins, hormones or chemicals that elicit positive feelings, just as you would when you hurt yourself. One of the most common self-calming techniques is the five senses technique. This technique helps calm the mind to deal with strong or painful feelings that are driving the urge to self-harm.
- Start in a comfortable position, either by sitting cross-legged on the floor or sitting in a chair with your feet flat on the floor. Focus your attention on the breath. After that, gather awareness to each sense. Take about a minute for each sense and focus on each one individually.
- Hearing: Focus on outside sounds. Do you hear cars go by or people talking? After that, focus on the voices from within (internal). Can you hear your breath or stomach digesting? When focusing on hearing, do you discover or hear things that were not previously known?
- Smell: What do you smell? Is there a food smell near you? Or maybe the smell of flowers outside? You may encounter odors that you weren't aware of before. Try closing your eyes to sharpen your other senses.
- Vision: What do you see? Can you look out the window? Pay attention to details such as colors, patterns, shapes, and textures.
- Taster: How do you feel? Pay attention to whatever feels in your mouth (perhaps the aftertaste from coffee from this morning or lunch?). Move your tongue around your mouth to activate your taste buds and look for other flavors you find.
- Touch: Feel the sensation when your skin is touched. You can feel the sensation of the soles of your feet or legs when they come into contact with carpet, your skin with clothing, or your face with flowing air. Feel also the chair you are currently sitting in.
Step 2. Try meditating or praying
Meditation or prayer may sound like a ridiculous practice, but some scientific research shows that meditation can increase positive emotions, satisfaction, health, and happiness. In addition, meditation also reduces anxiety, stress, and depression. There are many different types of meditation that you can try, but the main purpose of any type of meditation is to calm the mind.
- Start by sitting in a comfortable position. Find a point to focus on. This point can be visual (eg one particular place/area in the room), audio (eg repetition of a word or prayer), or physical (eg counting rosary beads/tasbih). When you are focused on a repetitive task or a specific object, your mind may wander. When your thoughts start to get distracted, let go of those thoughts and return to concentrating on your focal point.
- This sounds easy, but focusing your mind is actually a challenge. Don't be disappointed if you can only focus for a few minutes at first. Keep trying until you can devote hours to letting go and clearing your mind.
Step 3. Try breathing exercises
Breathing is a natural response that can be controlled. Research shows that practicing breath control has a positive impact on stress responses. The same response can be triggered when you feel the urge to hurt yourself. By learning a new skill like this, you can control the triggers for your self-injurious habit or behavior.
Try to breathe in a regular rhythm. In this simple technique, you need to count to five while inhaling, holding it for a count of five, and exhaling for a count of five. Focus on each part of the breath
Step 4. Use relaxation techniques
There are several types of relaxation techniques that you can follow. Try an imaging exercise that requires you to imagine a safe imaginary place where you don't want to hurt yourself. Draw a picture in your mind. This image should soothe or remind you of happy memories. It may be easier for you to print a picture of a safe place and focus on it than to picture it in your own head.
Step 5. Try a progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) technique
Progressive muscle relaxation is a form of endurance that focuses on tensing and relaxing different muscle groups. One of the benefits of this relaxation technique is that you become more alert or aware of the physical sensations your body feels.
- Start in a comfortable position so you can focus on the muscle groups in your body. Most people find it more comfortable to sit or lie down. After that, focus on one muscle group that you can tense and relax.
- Tense those muscles for five seconds and make sure you only squeeze those muscle groups for the duration. After five seconds, relax all the muscles in that area and make sure they stay relaxed for 15 seconds. Now, you can move on to another muscle group.
- Repeat this technique several times a day if necessary.
- Isolating certain muscle groups can be difficult. However, with practice you can make it easier.
- Some of the parts that are generally included in this relaxation technique are the muscles of the face, hands and arms, stomach or midsection, and calves and legs. Wear loose-fitting clothing to make you feel more comfortable.
Step 6. Try walking mindfully
Taking a walk is a relaxing exercise that can take your mind off it. Meanwhile, mindful walking can be a better exercise because you need to pay attention to every movement. To enjoy this kind of exercise, pay attention to every step you take as you walk. How do your feet feel on the ground? In the shoes? Focus on your breath. Pay attention to the environment around you. Take time to enjoy what is around you.
Some of the benefits of this sport is that you can learn mindfulness in everyday life and focus your awareness. For some people, traditional or regular meditation may be difficult to do so this kind of exercise can be a more active form of meditation. In addition, there are also several health benefits of walking
Step 7. Write down situations that prompted you to hurt yourself
Keep a journal of times when you wanted to hurt yourself. When you feel that urge, record this moment in a journal. Document when and what happened before the urge occurred. By writing down moments like these, you can identify patterns or feelings that trigger the urge to self-harm. In addition, journaling can also be a place to share your feelings and process your thoughts.
Step 8. Make a survivability box
A survival box or device is a container that can be filled with various items to stop the urge to self-harm. Prepare a shoe box or small cardboard box and fill the box with whatever you feel will prevent you from cutting yourself. These could be photos of friends, family, or pets, journals, art supplies (so you can make something artsy), inspirational quotes or lyrics that make you feel better, favorite CDs, or similar objects. which can lift your spirits and keep your mind off the urge to cut yourself.
Step 9. Find another outlet
Some people cut themselves out of anger, hatred, frustration, or deep wounds. If these things encourage you to cut yourself, try finding other ways to vent your emotions.
- If you're feeling angry or frustrated, find a pillow to punch, go outside and scream, tear paper, or squeeze a stress ball. You can also take kickboxing or self-defense classes. Any activity that helps you release the emotions you would normally vent through cutting yourself can usually prevent this behavior in the future.
- Finding the right way or outlet can take time. Try several ways until you find one that fits your emotions. Keep in mind that the steps taken may change from one situation to another.
Method 3 of 5: Practice Positive Speech to Yourself
Step 1. Listen to positive self-talk
Positive self-talk refers to the way your inner voice speaks and evaluates yourself positively. This kind of inner voice affects your motivation, outlook, self-esteem, and your overall state of being. Positive self-talk is a way to talk to yourself so you can build self-confidence and a healthier lifestyle, and reduce negative thoughts.
Positive self-talk also maintains a healthier perspective on your emotions. Remind yourself that emotions and the urge to cut yourself are just an emotion, and not a real desire. Such urges will pass or can be eliminated. Feelings that make you want to cut yourself apart won't always last
Step 2. Create a reminder
One way to apply positive self-talk in your daily life is to post reminders around you. Use a reminder sticker (eg Post-It) or a piece of paper with adhesive tape to stick positive phrases about yourself around the place where you live. You can also write a message on a mirror, window, or whiteboard. With this step, you will see the reminders every day and feel the mood improvement. You can also see positive messages whenever you feel like cutting yourself. Some examples of positive phrases include:
- I deserve to be loved.
- I am a special person.
- I am a confident person.
- I can reach my goal.
- I am a beautiful/handsome person.
- My feelings are just feelings.
- My emotions won't last forever.
- My emotions are not facts.
- Hurting myself won't solve my problem.
- Injuring yourself may provide immediate comfort, but that comfort won't last long.
- I can handle my anger/sadness/anxiety without hurting myself.
- I can trust someone with how I feel right now.
- I can find support.
- I can get through it.
Step 3. Keep a mind journal
Positive self-talk helps you identify and understand the thought patterns that influence the urge to self-harm. The first step that must be done is to learn to recognize / accept existing thoughts because usually such thoughts become a kind of habit. Some people find journals to help them record daily thought processes. By writing down your thoughts, you can think critically about your feelings and thoughts, and process how to handle them differently.
- The goal is not to change your thoughts, but to make you more aware of them. With this step, you can acknowledge or accept these thoughts so that you don't act passively on negative thoughts that trigger self-injurious behavior.
- Try to write down the situations, thoughts, feelings, or emotions you have, as well as any physical sensations you feel, such as energy, stomach tension, and actions you take.
Step 4. Assess the thoughts in your mind
By assessing your thoughts and thought processes, you can have a more positive self-talk and reduce thoughts that lead to self-injury. Think about whether the thought is real. Take notes on your thoughts and rate similar situations you've been through. Did you learn from these situations and what are the long-term consequences? Would you handle the situation differently the other day? Do you act on negative thoughts that arise?
- A good way to assess negative thoughts is to look for statements or words such as “should”, “should”, or “must”. This type of statement or word leads to an “all or nothing” mindset. It is these negative thoughts (and usually a bad view of yourself) that lead you to self-injurious behavior.
- While looking at the journal, what alternative thoughts have come up? Take note of alternative and positive statements that underlie any negative thoughts you've had.
- Ask a trusted friend or family member if you're not sure if these thoughts are true.
Method 4 of 5: Preventing the Next Urge
Step 1. Remove objects that trigger self-injurious behavior
To prevent the urge to hurt yourself, you need to stay away from items that are commonly used to cut yourself. Throw away items that were previously used for self-injury. If you need time to find the things you need to cut yourself, you can actually turn off the urge or desire. Time to think about the additional action or effort required can serve as a deterrent to action.
- Don't keep sharp objects on the table, and don't put razors in drawers or cabinets where you can easily access them.
- If you still can't get rid of the things you need to cut yourself, try buying some time to get/use them by wrapping them tightly or storing them in hard-to-reach shelves or cupboards.
- If possible, give the items to someone else. This is a surefire way to make those items hard to find. At first, you may feel angry. However, once the anger has passed, you will feel relieved that without it, you can't hurt yourself.
Step 2. Identify and avoid things that trigger the habit of cutting yourself
When you feel the urge to self-harm, pause and think about what just happened. These things are triggers for this behavior. Keep these things in mind and avoid situations that provoke self-injurious behavior. Sometimes, these things are predictable and, if you can, you can avoid them.
- Some common triggers can include problems with friends, such as bullying (online), pressure at school, feelings of social isolation, concerns about sexuality, and problems in the family.
- Some people tend to show the habit of cutting themselves at certain times. If you know that you tend to cut yourself more often in the morning, make sure you take extra care when you wake up. Pay attention to your feelings and know what to do to deal with the next urge.
- If you've just had an argument with someone close enough to you, for example, and feel the urge to hurt yourself, hold back and ask yourself what made you feel that way: “I want to hurt myself because I just had a fight. with someone I care about, and it makes me feel bad.” Determine what made the situation trigger negative emotions, such as certain feelings or perhaps actions. Try to reduce these kinds of problems until they are brought under control or over.
Step 3. Recognize your success
It's important that you celebrate the progress you've made. Try marking the calendar with the desired color on the dates that you managed to pass without cutting yourself. At the end of each month, add up the days without cutting and write the number at the bottom of the calendar. Try to increase the number of these days in the following month.
Method 5 of 5: Seek Professional Help
Step 1. Find the problem behind this habit
In some situations, cutting yourself can be a symptom of other problems, such as depression, anxiety, or other psychological disorders. This habit often provides the offender with relief from strong emotions, such as anger, guilt, anxiety, isolation, grief, or helplessness. In addition, the habit of cutting oneself can also be seen as an expression of these feelings and inner wounds.
Other reasons someone cuts themselves include the need for self-control, especially when feeling out of control. Some people injure themselves to feel something when they are "numbed". Meanwhile, others self-harm in response to trauma or other problems such as anxiety and depression
Step 2. Talk to a professional
If you're having trouble breaking the habit of cutting yourself through defensive techniques or other methods, you may need professional help to turn the situation around. A counselor, clinical psychologist, or psychiatrist can talk to you about the causes of your habit of cutting yourself and how to change your behavior about it.
- Try group therapy. In this therapy, you can see that there are people who are experiencing the same problem.
- If you are a minor, tell your parent or guardian that you need to see a mental health professional as soon as possible. Emphasize that this is an emergency.
- If you are an adult and have health insurance, contact your primary care nurse or doctor as soon as possible and ask for a referral to a therapist or psychologist who specializes in self-injurious behavior. If you don't have insurance, find a free or inexpensive mental health clinic in your city, or ask other members/congregations in your group (if you are a religious person and belong to a particular group).
Step 3. Get help as soon as possible
If you have ever injured yourself seriously enough, you should seek medical attention immediately. A serious wound is a cut that is still bleeding for more than 10 minutes, a wound that doesn't stop bleeding, or a condition where you intentionally (or accidentally) cut a major blood vessel or artery.
You should also seek help immediately when you feel suicidal
Step 4. Recognize the difference
Self-injurious behavior is not the same as suicide, but the two are often mistaken for the same thing (or confused). The main difference is the goal of ending life. A person who wants to commit suicide often sees no other way out of the problem and wants to end his life. However, someone who hurts himself is often the opposite of someone who is suicidal because he intentionally wants to hurt himself in order to feel "more alive" or able to cope with life at hand.
- Research shows that people who self-harm are more likely to commit suicide in the future. This is often related to other factors, such as depression, the notion that there is not much reason to live, or a sense of helplessness. Make sure you take suicidal ideation or thoughts seriously and seek help immediately.
- Look for obvious signs of suicide, such as expressing a desire to die or killing yourself, looking for ways to kill yourself, making statements about helplessness, or telling stories about no other reason to live.
- If you or someone you care about feels like ending your life, get help right away. Call emergency services 119 to talk to the operator about assistance for a friend/family member who is contemplating suicide. You can also call the appropriate emergency services if a suicide attempt has been made.
Additional Resources
| Organization | Phone number |
|---|---|
| Indonesian Ministry of Health | (021) 500-567 |
| Emergency Services | 119 |
| Befrienders.org | Worldwide service |
| Save Yourself | 081283326501/081272714238 |
Tips
- It's a good idea to avoid things, people, or situations that encourage you to hurt yourself as much as possible. This may be difficult to do, but short-term changes like these can help keep you on track (or can be part of the recovery process itself).
- Discard razors and other objects that can be used to cut yourself.
- Ask people you know and love (eg grandparents, aunts, mothers, or friends) to guide you not to cut yourself. They can also monitor and make sure you don't show the habit.
- Try the butterfly method: whenever you feel like cutting yourself, draw a butterfly on your wrist. Write the name of a person you care about at the bottom. If you don't cut yourself, the butterfly will stay alive and you can wait for the butterfly image to fade. However, if you cut yourself, unfortunately you need to "rinse" the butterfly immediately and clean it from your wrist.
- You can attach a rubber band to your wrist and snap it. With this step, you can still feel the pain, but it's not as permanent as an incision.
- If you have pets, cuddle them. You can also hug them, play with them, or just look at them. This can lower stress levels and be a very relaxing activity.
- Spend time with friends and family members, and don't be alone.
- Draw or write something that describes how you feel, then tear the paper. Alternatively, draw and write down reasons you shouldn't/don't want to cut yourself, and read those reasons every day.
