Have you ever noticed while talking to yourself? While talking to yourself may be a sign of a healthy self, it may also interfere with your life and the lives of others at times. There are several things you can do to stop talking to yourself and also think about why you are doing it.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Assessing Conversations
Step 1. Find out if the sound you hear when you talk to yourself is your own voice or a different voice
If you hear something different, try to consult a mental health professional, as this could signal a more serious psychological problem.
- One way to determine if the sound you hear is yours is to determine if you triggered the sound. If you are not the trigger for the sound (e.g. do you think and say the words in an elementary state?), and if you don't know what words the sound will say next, you may have a mental disorder, such as schizophrenia, depression, or psychosis.
- Another symptom that indicates a mental disorder is hearing more than one sound; imagine, see, feel, smell, and touch nonverbal things that are not real; listening to voices in dreams that feel real; listen to voices that are present throughout the day and have a negative impact on your daily life (e.g. you become aloof and distant from everyone, or the voice threatens you if you don't do the voice command).
- If you experience any of the above symptoms when talking to yourself, it is important that you consult a mental health professional to find out about any psychological issues that may be having a negative impact on your life and health.
Step 2. Check the content of the conversation with yourself
What things do you talk about with yourself? Are you talking about the day you lived? Are you planning something? Are you talking about things that happened recently? Are you imitating sentences from movies?
Talking to yourself is not a bad thing. By discussing thoughts, you can organize your thoughts better. It can also make you think more carefully, especially when making difficult decisions, such as when you choose a university or whether you should buy something as a gift for someone
Step 3. Try to assess whether your conversation is positive or negative in general
Positive self-talk can be a good thing when you need a high level of motivation, such as when you want to do a job interview or train intensely. Saying "You can and can do it!" can make you feel good and give you a confidence boost before you do anything important. You can be self-motivated! In such cases, occasional self-talk is healthy.
However, if the conversation is generally negative, for example, you often reprimand and criticize yourself (example: "why are you so stupid?", "you never do anything right", etc.), it may indicate that You have psychological or emotional problems. Also, if your self-talk is repetitive and focuses on something negative you're experiencing, it's probably because you tend to think about it. For example, if you recently had a small fight with a coworker and you spent two hours thinking about it and talking to yourself about things you should have said to a coworker, that's not healthy. It indicates that you are constantly reflecting on the problem and not forgetting it
Step 4. Try to assess the feelings generated by you talking to yourself
Everyone can be a little crazy, and that's okay! However, in order to stay mentally healthy, you have to make sure that it's just a weird habit and doesn't have a negative impact on how you feel about yourself or your everyday life. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I feel worried or guilty for talking too much to myself?
- Does talking alone make me sad, angry, or anxious?
- Is talking to myself such a big deal that I need to avoid crowded places so as not to embarrass myself?
- If you answered 'yes' to any of the questions above, you are advised to contact a counselor or other mental health professional for consultation. A licensed mental health professional can help you figure out why you talk to yourself and help you develop strategies to control the habit.
Step 5. Try to assess the other person's response to your own conversation
Consider whether and how other people respond when they see you talking to yourself. There's a good chance that most people won't even notice you're doing it. However, if you often notice certain reactions from the people around you, it may be a sign that what you are doing is disturbing other people, or that people are worried about you, as well as your mental and social functioning. Ask yourself a few things:
- Do people look at me in a strange way when I walk?
- Do people often ask me to be quiet?
- Is the first thing anyone else hears from me talking to myself?
- Has my teacher ever suggested that I visit a school counselor?
- If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you should consult a counselor or mental health professional. In your reaction, people may express concern about your health. However, it's also important for you to know that what you do may annoy others, and that you must control these bad habits to maintain your social relationships.
Part 2 of 2: Stop Talking to Yourself
Step 1. Be aware of the habit
When you speak in a loud voice, be aware of it and acknowledge it. You can monitor this by counting the number of times you notice that you are talking to yourself in a loud voice in a day. Recognizing the habit is the first step in reducing it.
Step 2. Try to think more
Try to speak to yourself in your heart. Once you realize that you are talking to yourself in a loud voice, try to move the conversation into your head, which is your inner world.
- You can bite your lip so you can't open your mouth. This can help, but keep in mind that it may also seem strange to those around you!
- Try chewing gum to keep your mouth busy and make yourself speechless.
- If it's too hard for you to start not talking and thinking more, try saying it silently. That way, you can still talk, but not be heard by others.
Step 3. Allow yourself to just speak for yourself in certain situations
Allow yourself to only do it when alone at home or in the car, for example. Be careful with this step, because once you allow yourself to speak out loud, you might as well do it again next time. Make it a rule to limit the amount of time you talk to yourself, and if you manage to follow the rules for a week, do something to reward yourself, such as going to a movie or buying a snack. As time passes, you should try to reduce the frequency with which you talk to yourself in a loud voice, until you don't do it at all.
Step 4. Write down the things you want to say to yourself
Buy a journal to use when you start talking to yourself. That way, you can have a dialogue with yourself in written form, not oral. One way to do this is to write down what you think, and then write down the response as well.
- For example, let's say you've been out on a date and haven't heard back from your partner. This may prompt you to talk about it out loud to yourself, but you can also write it down: "Why hasn't he called me yet? Maybe he's too busy or maybe he doesn't like you. Why doesn't he like you? Maybe he's too busy. school and you and he weren't the perfect match, due to differences in interests and priorities. Yes, maybe I still feel rejected. Those feelings are understandable, but he's not the only guy in the world, and more importantly, there's a lot of good stuff about you; in fact, what do you think is good about you?"
- The practice of recording dialogue in such a journal can help you organize and express your thoughts. It's also a great way to keep yourself thinking properly and also to convey positive things to yourself, while also reducing the negative things you feel.
- Make it a habit to always carry a journal, whether in your bag, car, or pocket. There is also a journal app on the phone! Another benefit of writing is that you have a record of everything you talk about and worry about. Maybe the pattern will show. Your creativity may also flourish. And that is also a useful thing for you!
Step 5. Talk to other people
One of the most common reasons people talk to themselves is because they feel like there's no one else to talk to. By starting to socialize, there are more people you can talk to than yourself. Remember that humans need social interaction.
- If you're anxious about socializing and talking to other people, try taking small steps to start a conversation. For example, if you meet someone who seems friendly and receptive (smiling at you, saying "hello," or making eye contact), try to return the greeting by smiling or saying "hello" back. Once you've had a few positive experiences, you'll feel ready to do more than just make small talk with other people.
- Sometimes it's hard to read the signs that someone wants to stop talking to you as well as determine how much to talk to someone about. Trust is another thing that needs to be built over time in order for you to be able to talk comfortably with someone. If you feel too anxious or nervous to talk to strangers, that's okay. However, it's a good idea to try to find a support group or go to private therapy to deal with the discomfort.
- If you want to meet more people, try to engage in more activities, such as taking yoga, pottery, and dance classes. By making an effort to join in activities that involve other people (such as joining a yoga class instead of running on the treadmill alone at home), you have a greater chance of talking to people who share your interests.
- If you live in a remote area, you can fill your social needs by interacting with other people via the internet. You can try using chat rooms or forums where people discuss topics you like. If you don't have an internet connection, try to communicate the old fashioned way - by mail! Keeping in touch with other people is an important part of human life.
Step 6. Get busy
In most cases, self-talk begins with daydreaming or boredom, so keeping yourself busy may help. Busy yourself by doing an activity so that your brain is filled with something.
- Try listening to music. When you're alone or walking somewhere, try to give your brain something to focus on, so you can avoid the urge to talk to yourself. Music can be a great distraction for your mind, and it may also spark new inspiration or creativity within you. Melodic sounds have been shown to trigger the release of dopamine in the part of the brain responsible for generating a sense of self-respect, which means you will feel comfortable when listening to music. Looks like people who are listening to music is also a useful thing. If you talk to yourself while wearing headphones, people will think your headphones are connected to your phone, then assume that you're talking to someone on your phone.
- Read a book. Reading can immerse you in another world, and it also requires you to concentrate enough. By focusing your mind on something, you are less likely to talk to yourself.
- Try watching TV. Try watching something that interests you on the TV, or turn the TV on for only background noise. That way, a certain atmosphere will be formed and the room will feel "crowded". This reasoning also applies to people who have trouble sleeping alone, so often they choose to turn on the TV when trying to sleep and feel that someone else is around, even if the source is only the TV screen! Watching TV can also help you focus your attention and keep your brain busy.
Tips
- Remember that everyone talks to themselves most of the time (inwardly), so it's safe to say that you're no different from anyone else; the difference is, you say it straight away!
- Humans usually talk to themselves when they feel lonely, feel themselves full of shortcomings, or miss someone. Stop talking to yourself, and keep yourself busy to avoid the thoughts that trigger you to start talking to yourself.
- Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth when you feel like talking to yourself. People around you won't notice it, and we think it's effective at keeping the voices in your head.
