When we lose something that is precious to us or that can make us very happy, there will be a strong desire to go back to the past. At the same time, you also want to forget those memories and avoid getting hurt. This is a complicated situation, but wikiHow can help you deal with it. Start from Step 1 below.
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Part 1 of 4: Divert Your Attention
Step 1. Learn a new skill
Learning a new skill is a good and productive way to refocus your mind on something else. Think of something you really want to learn. In the past you probably couldn't learn it because you were too busy, right? Make the most of the freedom you get and do what you've always wanted to do.
Step 2. Exercise
Exercise is another good distraction. By exercising, you will not only gain fitness, but also have another advantage: exercising releases endorphins. Endorphins are substances in the brain that make you feel good. Your brain will feel better!
Step 3. Volunteer
Volunteering is also a good way to help you get over the problem. Not only will you make a good impact on society, but you will also be able to build your confidence and skills. Volunteering in the long term and stable will also come in handy when you apply for jobs! You can volunteer at a post, animal shelter or whatever works best for you.
Step 4. Play the game
Playing games is a good way to distract yourself. Several studies have also proven that games can teach your brain to build problem solving skills. It can also provide a safe environment for expressing your feelings and yourself. It all depends on the type of game you are playing.
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Games like “Journey” or “Flower” are relaxing games.
Forget Step 4 Bullet1 - Role playing games (RPGs, as game lovers are known) can let you express controllable feelings that you never knew existed.
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Rough play can also be a healthy way of releasing anger as long as you play an appropriate game (try “Mass Effect”).
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Board games and other table games can be a great way to bring new people into your life and help you build new social relationships.
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Step 5. Try to write
Writing is a great way to express yourself in a healthy way. Write whatever you like and make yourself better and more filled. You can help people by writing articles on wikiHow. You can get a sense of accomplishment by writing a book (try writing fanfiction if you're new to creative writing). If you want to write down the feelings you have and deal with them in a healthy way, then you can try journaling.
Step 6. Travel, if you can
Traveling is the best thing you can do to help you feel better about the things that have happened to you. By traveling to a challenging place such as going abroad for a longer period of time, you will prove to yourself that you can overcome situations that are more difficult than the sadness you are feeling right now. If you do it right, traveling can hone your skills and abilities to survive. The things you get from traveling are the things you really need right now.
Part 2 of 4: Find Affirmations
Step 1. Face the problem
When you have a problem, you shouldn't just try to distract yourself and forget about the problem. This is not a healthy way and you will still face problems later. Face the problem so that you find true happiness and mental strength that can last a long time.
Step 2. Understand the problem
Start dealing with the problem by doing an analysis and understanding what happened. Have you lost a relationship that was important to you? Are you suffering from mood swings that you hate? Did someone do something that hurt you? Know the root cause of your injury. Be honest with yourself about something that hurt you because you won't solve the problem if you can't admit it.
Step 3. Let go of guilt
Understand that the problems you have are beyond your control. Whatever the case, trust that it is beyond our control. It is impossible for us to control every little thing that happens. Even if you make mistakes, you must understand that everyone can make mistakes. Stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty about what happened.
Step 4. Accept the reality of what happened
The past is past: you can't change it. You have to make things even better. Stop trying to change the past. You better find possibilities in the future. By accepting that what happened was meant to happen, you'll start to feel good again.
Step 5. Remember the value you have
Never forget that you are a good person even though things have happened to you. You can make other people happy and you can do good things. You are a meaningful person. Don't let bad experiences keep you from doing the amazing things you can do.
Step 6. Find your strengths
Understand that by letting go of your sadness, you will become a new and better person. We will become stronger people after facing problems like this. We will be the ones who can solve more problems. You will find that if you can overcome the problem, then you will be prepared for anything that happens to you in the future.
Part 3 of 4: Moving Forward
Step 1. Focus on yourself for a moment
When you're ready to feel good again, then you need to spend a little time on yourself. Pamper and take care of yourself and focus on making the changes you want to make in your life. It can help give you time and opportunity to learn something about yourself and become a better person.
Step 2. Find the meaning of the experience
You will feel more hurt if the suffering you are experiencing is meaningless or the good memories of the past are damaged by the things that happened. Help yourself to achieve happiness in the future by finding meaning in the things that have happened. Look for lessons to be learned or knowledge to be learned. See if the bad experience happened to make your life better.
Step 3. Try new things
The first step you can take to live a new life is to try something new. It can help you feel the visible difference between who you were and who you are now. With it, you will be helped in seeing the new power that you have. Do something you've always wanted to do. Do something challenging. You can travel, have a new job or anything else that can give you new experiences.
Step 4. Meet new people
Eventually, you will find yourself in a new society. A new place, a new group of friends and maybe a new person to love if that's what you're missing. These new people can help you in doing new things and you will have new experiences in building beautiful memories. You can meet new people by taking a class, joining a group or even joining an online community.
Step 5. Have fun and let yourself feel good
If you enjoy yourself "too early" or you find happiness "too early", then you will realize that doing so can reduce the value of what you are missing. But that is not true. It can keep you from feeling happy. Let yourself have fun and don't feel guilty about it. You really deserve to be happy.
Step 6. Ask for help
If you find it difficult to bring your condition back to normal, and if your grief is out of your control or unusual: then ask for help! Don't think that if you ask for help it means you are weak or broken. You need to ask for help from experts when your brain can't do the right thing, such as when you go to the doctor and are given medicine when you have a cold.
Part 4 of 4: Asking for Specific Help
Step 1. Ask for help forgetting someone
See: (Forgetting Someone). If you're trying to get over a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, lost a family member or someone else, then there are some specific things you can do to help. Forget negative emotions like resentment and have positive emotions like happy memories.
Step 2. Ask for help to forget an event
See (Forgetting Bad Memories). If you are trying to forget a bad event such as an embarrassing or traumatizing event that happened to you, then the best thing to do is to build new positive memories! However, there are still other things you can do.
Step 3. Repress and replace memories
See (Intentionally Forgetting). Repression and memory replacement are two things you can do, but do it sparingly. Repression tends to come back to haunt us for years. You're better off asking for help if you feel the need to suppress a memory.
Step 4. Ask for help to forget the past
One of the most important parts of forgetting bad things that happen to us is to forget them. You can't change the things that have happened to you, but you can move on and help your grief make sense. Don't give up…you can do it!
