Some memories may be so painful that you want to forget them. While it's impossible to erase memories from your mind, there are ways you can blur them out. You can also try to change the feelings that a memory evokes, and replace bad memories with new, good ones. Keep in mind that it's not always possible to forget a memory, so you may need to talk to a psychologist about the memories that are interfering with your life.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Forgetting Memories
Step 1. Find out what you want to forget
Before you can forget a memory, you must recall the memory in detail. This step may be difficult, but it is very necessary. Write down the answers to the following questions to find out the memories you want to forget in detail:
- What happened?
- Who is involved?
- Where and when did the incident occur?
- What else happened then?
- How do you feel?
Step 2. Recall the thing that bothered you the most in the memory
The next step is to find the worst part of the memory. Finding the source of the disturbing feelings will go a long way in determining what to forget. Write it down specifically so you can try to forget it.
- Remember that you can't simply forget your ex's presence, but you can forget certain dates, events, or feelings in your memories. For example, you may be able to forget the smell of her perfume, your first date together, or something she said.
- If you feel immersed in a traumatic memory, make a list of the names of people who have abused you, specific locations that made you sad, and other sensations such as the smell of the dining room, dressing room, or gym.
Step 3. Erase the memory with the ritual of letting go
You can use the specific information you have memorized to perform the ritual of letting go. This ritual is a mental exercise that can help you forget a memory. To perform this ritual, all you have to do is turn the memory into a snapshot in your memory and imagine yourself burning it.
- Picture the part of the memory you want to forget in your mind. Try to picture it in detail like a photograph. Then, imagine that you burn the photo. Imagine the edges of the photo tanned and wrinkled, then blackened, and crumbled. Imagine a fire burning your memorable photo to the ground.
- You can also try to describe your memories in other ways. For example, you can imagine the bully as a Honda car that sank in a lake or as a train crashing into a cliff wall.
Step 4. Get rid of all the things that trigger your memories
Certain objects or photos may trigger you to recall bad memories, and make them even more difficult to forget. Move objects or photos that can trigger your bad memories to a hidden place, or consider throwing them away.
For example, get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex, including photos and gifts he gave you
Step 5. Consider hypnosis
Hypnosis may be able to help you forget disturbing memories. In this method, you must enter a relaxed state so that it is easier to accept suggestions. Find a professional hypnosis therapist in your area if you want to try it.
Keep in mind that not everyone can be hypnotized, so this might not work for you. Even for people who can be hypnotized, there is still a chance that the effects will only last for a short time
Method 2 of 2: Replacing Memories
Step 1. Try to remember bad memories while doing fun activities
One way to deal with feelings of sadness caused by a memory is to associate the memory with a pleasurable activity. The goal is to reduce the sadness you feel through positive associations.
- Do something happy while remembering bad memories. For example, think back to the embarrassment you felt when you broke up with your partner while listening to soothing music. Or, think back to when you were fired from work while taking a bath in scented candles.
- If these positive associations don't help, you can also try listening to white noise aloud to drown out painful memories. Consider turning on radio static or a white noise machine while recalling painful memories.
Step 2. Create new memories
Another effective way to get rid of bad memories is to move on and create new ones. Even if you don't do anything about the memories you want to forget, creating new ones will bury the bad memories deep in your mind. Some things you can do to create new memories include:
- Try a new hobby
- Read a book
- Watching movies
- looking for new job
- Looking for new friends
Step 3. Find ways to fix bad memories
You may be able to replace the memories you want to forget by creating similar ones. Try to find a way so that you can feel positive about something similar to the memory you want to forget. Over time, your thoughts will start to intertwine and cloud old memories.
- For example, if you want to forget your trip to Bandung, consider traveling there again, or to a nearby city. Visit Sukabumi, Garut, or Tasikmalaya. During your trip, buy new T-shirts, take photos in new places, and visit new restaurants.
- Visit a perfume shop, if the scent of an ex-boyfriend's perfume is deeply ingrained in your memory. Inhale as much men's perfume as you can, so that your mind will be filled with the smell of a new, different perfume.
- Dating. This might help you move on with your life and create new memories if your ex's memories bother you a lot.
Step 4. Consider consulting a psychologist
If you are unable to get over or deal with the feelings of sadness caused by a memory, talking to a psychologist may be helpful. A psychologist can help you deal with the feelings of a memory so you can move on with your life.
Tips
- Listening to audiobooks and concentrating on the storyline can help you. Try a light but interesting story to distract yourself.
- Be patient. All methods of forgetting take time and repetition until they work. Don't give up when you fail, but keep trying. Seek help if needed.
