A sense of pride and confidence comes from high self-esteem, which is the positive things you believe about yourself, your talents, and your successes. Low self-esteem makes a person feel inferior so they don't feel proud of themselves and are more prone to developing serious mental health disorders. To improve the skills that make you feel proud of yourself, try to overcome negative thoughts and build self-confidence in the following ways.
Method 1 of 2: Overcoming Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Find reasons to be grateful
Comparing yourself to others is one of the most common forms of negative thinking. This habit makes you not feel proud of yourself. If you start comparing yourself to others, break this habit by thinking about things you are grateful for.
For example, when thinking about what you can be grateful for, think about good health or a loyal friend. Focus your thoughts on these positive things for a few minutes so that your mindset becomes more positive. Think about why you feel grateful for these things
Step 2. Stay away from negative thought triggers
Sometimes, changing the mood a little can get rid of negative thoughts. If you feel trapped in a negative routine, break free and go elsewhere.
For example, go for a walk outside or sit in another room of the house for a while
Step 3. Remember that everyone has flaws
Negative thoughts usually stem from the belief that only you have flaws. Remember that everyone has flaws, even if they are not visible.
For example, your coworker may sound like he has it all, but it looks like he's going through a serious personal problem that no one else knows about
Step 4. Protect yourself
Don't let other people hurt, insult or intimidate you because no one else should. If you are being bullied or insulted by criticism, enlist the support of a teacher, counselor, or personnel manager so that you can defend yourself.
Know that people who bully and criticize others do this because they are unable to accept themselves. Realizing that someone is insulting you because they want to deal with their own suffering or problem allows you to deal with it well. The criticism he's directed at you is not entirely about you, but because he feels inferior
Step 5. Learn to accept constructive criticism
You have to defend yourself if you are belittled, but be open to constructive criticism. Criticism is usually not pleasant to hear, including constructive criticism. Learning to accept and respond to constructive criticism is a way to improve yourself and increase self-esteem.
- Control your impulsive reactions when you are criticized. Thank the person who is criticizing and try to understand what he or she is saying. Take a day or two to evaluate by asking yourself what you learned from the critique.
- For example, your professor has just returned your essay with a C- that left you disappointed and has a “this idea is hard to understand” note. Instead of getting angry, reread your essay with a calm mind. The ideas you convey in the essay are self-explanatory when you write them. Is it still as clear when you read it again? Try to understand the criticism given, don't just reject it.
Step 6. Turn negative thoughts into useful questions
The habit of self-judgment that makes you think of worst-case scenarios is an irrational negative mindset. However, you can improve yourself and achieve success by turning negative thoughts into useful questions. If you still have negative thoughts, turn them into questions that will help you reach your goals.
For example, if you say to yourself, "I'm not going to be able to get a new job," don't continue. Challenge these thoughts because they are not based on facts and come from an unreliable source, namely anxiety. Instead of accepting negative thoughts, turn them into questions, for example, “What can I do to get the best interview opportunities?”
Step 7. Avoid negative people
Stay away from people who like to criticize or be negative towards you. If possible, stay away from them and make friends with positive people. There are negative people who are hard to avoid, bosses or family members, for example. In this case, you need to stay positive before or after meeting them.
Say positive things to yourself. Before or after meeting a negative person, it's a good idea to look in the mirror and praise yourself, for example by saying to yourself, "You're smart, reliable, and a hard worker!"
Step 8. Ask a therapist for help
If you're having trouble coping with negative thoughts, consult a licensed mental health professional. Maybe you need direction so you can work things out and feel good about yourself. A therapist can help you deal with negative thoughts and determine if you are experiencing depression or another mental health problem.
Method 2 of 2: Be Positive
Step 1. Imagine that you have achieved success
Thinking about the success you've had will make you more confident. Recall a particular moment when you felt confident and confident. Or, imagine you've managed to achieve what you want. Repeat this method if you need to increase your confidence.
Try to imagine your success in as much detail as possible. What do you look like? Who was there? How do you feel? What do you say?
Step 2. Stand tall and walk with confidence
Posture greatly affects self-confidence. Get in the habit of standing up straight and maintaining good posture when walking. In order to maintain good posture, imagine that you are trying to balance an object overhead while walking.
Step 3. Take care of your appearance
Feelings that arise because of a certain appearance can affect self-confidence. Therefore, wear clothes that make you feel proud of your appearance. Choose clothes with the right size, according to your body shape, and of good quality.
Match clothes to the event. For example, if you are going to a job interview, wearing a formal dress or dress to the office will make you more confident, instead of just wearing a T-shirt and jeans
Step 4. Keep a journal to record your successes
Focusing on the good things you've been through makes you feel more confident and happier. Set aside a few minutes each day to jot down a good experience, for example by writing down your recent successes and the skills you used to overcome adversity.
Step 5. Write down all your strengths and successes
This method helps you realize everything you've ever accomplished, including the things you deem less important. People who lack self-confidence tend to focus on failure, not success. So you need to force yourself to be able to see positive things as often as possible.
Think about why you feel proud of that success. Knowing why you feel proud of certain things will lead to a sense of pride, in addition to the success itself
Step 6. Tell us about your success
Sharing what you've done and is worthy of being proud of is a great way to show self-respect and gain support from others. Talk about your success every now and then to make you feel more comfortable with yourself and to help you ignore what other people think of you.
For example, upload a photo of yourself holding an award for getting the best grades or tell a friend at the gym that you can run farther in less time
Step 7. Use expressions of wishing you good luck so that you can be positive
Treat yourself well, instead of always blaming yourself. For example, to be prepared for a presentation that worries you, don't think, "I'm bound to fail." Instead, say to yourself, "This presentation may be difficult, but I can definitely do it well."
Remember that during this time you may be being too hard on yourself more than you should. For example, you blame yourself for making a mistake during a presentation, but your colleagues don't care and they don't even know
Step 8. Forgive yourself
Learn to forgive yourself if you do something wrong. Refusing to forgive yourself will hinder your ability to feel proud of yourself. So, try to forgive yourself as soon as possible.
For example, if you're blaming yourself, say to yourself, "I'm sorry, but that's okay. I'm still smart and reliable."
Step 9. Improve your ability to achieve better
To stay proud of yourself when things don't go your way, you must always encourage yourself. If things don't go as planned, try to adjust your expectations and motivate yourself so that you can achieve better.