Anyone can misbehave. However, you can control your behavior by controlling yourself and reducing negative emotions. Read the following steps to learn how to maintain social behavior, improve your mindset, and adjust your lifestyle so that good behavior habits form on their own.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Maintaining Behavior with Self-Control
Step 1. Pay attention to the volume when you speak
Maintaining the volume is the most important aspect of maintaining behavior. If you're having trouble keeping your voice getting louder and louder, stop talking and take slow, deep breaths. Calm your mind and continue speaking in a respectful and courteous manner. Pay attention to the volume of your voice so you can speak with more control.
- Adjust the way you talk, taking into account who you're talking to. Although rare, there are times when you have to speak in front of a crowd. Know who will be listening and speak loud enough for your voice to be heard.
- Before speaking, ask yourself if you really have to say something. If it's not important, you shouldn't. Get in the habit of doing this regularly.
- Pay attention to the volume of people around you and adjust your voice to match them.
- If people stare at you or are negative, adjust your behavior accordingly. Try to fit in no matter where you are.
- Keep your attitude so as not to attract too much attention. People will ignore you if they want to be the center of attention.
Step 2. Get in the habit of controlling yourself in every aspect of life by setting goals and trying to achieve them
Set specific long-term goals. Research in psychology has shown that the habit of thinking abstract images of important goals can make you more in control of yourself. Instead of just dwelling on the present moment, work towards a more rewarding goal like study success or exercise. The ability to focus on building your future will help you maintain your everyday behavior.
- Being a goal-oriented person will mold you into a person who is able to resist yourself. If you feel the urge to drink soda or relax while playing a game, resist the urge yourself. Start with small things like resisting the urge to drink ice cream on a weekday. After that, improve again by setting a bigger goal, such as forming a basketball team. Execute what you have planned. You can master the ability to control your thoughts and actions very well in a short time.
- Write down your plan, then post it in a visible place so you can remember it at all times.
- Determine also the goal of maintaining the behavior. Make a commitment to maintain your behavior in front of others and control your emotions.
- Set positive goals. Get an A, practice guitar until you can play a song fluently, or work out four times a week. Execute this plan as best you can.
- Set specific goals, because vague goals are easy to forget.
- When the temptation arises to renege on an intention or goal, calm yourself down and remember why you set this goal. Long-term commitment is far more important than momentary desire.
- Give yourself punishment and rewards. If you've been on a diet this week, reward yourself with a “diet-free day.” On the other hand, if you don't exercise today, tomorrow you will have to exercise twice. This can help you control your urges and keep your behavior in check.
- Set specific long-term goals by breaking them down into more achievable short-term goals.
Step 3. Pay close attention to the rules and social norms that apply
If you want to break it, try to control yourself. This will be discussed more specifically in the second part, but in general, obey the rules that apply in any situation. Take control by taking deep breaths and convincing yourself that you are strong enough and able to control your urges.
- Try to remember the rules that apply in social life. Make sure you understand all the rules before speaking.
- If something is not clear, just keep quiet and pay attention to how other people act. If the situation is right for being humorous or speaking a little loudly, it's fine if you want to imitate other people who behave in this way. If you are in a professional environment, try to be more formal. In a relaxed environment, you are more free to act, but keep the volume under control when you speak.
- Calming techniques like deep breathing are usually helpful in controlling yourself, but find a way that works best for you. If you want to break the rules, try snapping your fingers or pinching your own arm. Look for someone who can help you stop wanting to break the rules.
Step 4. Be careful when you speak
Adapt your speech to the situation and choose your words carefully. In general, swearing and fighting while shouting is not the way to go. Avoid pointless arguments and critical statements. Don't say unpleasant things. Before it's too late, stop immediately if you want to say something mean or bad. You should apologize if you already said it.
- A relaxed or even a bit harsh style can sometimes be used if you are talking to a close friend. However, get to know the situation well before speaking.
- Be careful when talking to coworkers, teachers, or bosses. Be humble and understanding, don't say harsh words or fight.
- Others will always appreciate words of praise and kind words.
- If you want to say something rude, try writing it down first, but don't let anyone find out!
- Don't interrupt other people who are talking. If you want to talk, wait for him to finish.
- Think before you speak. Saying words without thinking can bring trouble. Get in the habit of asking yourself before you speak if you really need to talk.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Certain Situations with Self-Control
Step 1. Maintain behavior in school by obeying the teacher's instructions and focusing on the lesson
Apply the self-control you've learned. Set goals related to education and remember that these goals are the most important when you are in school.
- Your goal in school may be to get good grades and obey the teacher's rules.
- Obey the daily rules in class, for example: no chewing gum, no hats, keeping calm when the teacher speaks, etc. All these rules are important. Try to control yourself, if the desire arises to violate it.
- Watch your teacher as he teaches, listen carefully, and take notes.
- Do not interrupt the teacher or friend who is talking. Wait your turn and don't forget to raise your hand first, unless you are gathering in small groups or outside of class.
- Prepare well before going to school. Complete homework, bring textbooks, notes, and folders according to schedule.
- Engage in class discussions. Pay attention to the material being discussed so you don't get bored. Ask questions and respond to other students' opinions.
- Make friends with good students. Look for friends who are a positive influence and don't cause problems. Do not choose a seat close to the problem student.
- Come to school on time.
- If you're having behavior problems, talk to your parents, teacher, or school counselor. Try to find out if you just need to adjust or there is a possibility that you are experiencing attention deficit disorder (Attention Deficit Disorder).
Step 2. Maintain behavior at dinner by adopting proper eating habits
Be polite and engage in conversation in a fun way. Don't let your food fall apart and get into the habit of using paper towels.
- Get in the habit of saying thank you. During dinner at a restaurant, thank the waiter who served you and to the person who paid for the meal, if you were treated to something.
- If you want to pick up food that is some distance away, ask someone else to help so that your hands don't interfere with other people.
- Don't eat with your hands, unless you're holding food that must be handled. Use spoons, forks, and knives as needed. Do not cut too hard or use a knife to put food in your mouth.
- Have a tissue ready to clean your mouth if needed.
- If you're invited to eat at a friend's or family's house, offer to help pour drinks and get food. When you're done eating, offer to help clear the table and wash the dishes.
- If you eat at a restaurant, don't forget to tip the waiter.
Step 3. Maintain behavior at work by being kind
Stay committed to achieving work goals and display a professional attitude during work. Work is not a good time to joke and relax. Try to stay focused and productive at work. Start working with the right mindset so that your behavior is also right.
- Get up early so you can get to work 15-20 minutes before work starts.
- Keep your workspace clean and pay attention to areas that are commonly shared to keep it neat and comfortable.
- Respect your boss and other co-workers. Do not like to talk about the shortcomings of others.
- Make an effort to pay attention and take notes during meetings. Don't chat too much during work hours.
- Take the initiative and work longer hours, if necessary.
- Focus on work. It's hard to behave well if you're often distracted and doing other things to pass the time.
- Make the most of your time by working, but taking time to rest. Try relaxing yourself while taking a break while chatting with coworkers, checking Facebook, or going for a walk to stretch. Refocus your attention if you have to return to work.
Step 4. Wear clothes that are appropriate for the particular situation
Behavior is not just an action, but involves appearance as a whole. Adjust the clothes you want to wear with the activities you will do.
- To go to school, wear casual clothes, if you don't have to wear a uniform. For work or formal events such as weddings, wear a formal suit or elegant dress. For a job interview or formal dinner, wear a collared shirt or a comfortable blouse.
- Clothes that are slightly open are more suitable to be worn at the beach or at home. Don't be swayed by fashion if you have to appear in public.
- Do not wear clothes with writings or images that are negative / seem offensive to others.
- Keep your body clean. Get in the habit of bathing and brushing your teeth every day. Use deodorant or perfume, if necessary.
Part 3 of 3: Maintaining Behavior by Implementing a Healthy Lifestyle
Step 1. Relax
Adopting a stress-free lifestyle is a way of controlling life and actions. Stress and depression can make you feel as if you are living your life on automatic control. Lack of self-control often leads to wrong behavior. Do some of the following relaxation methods regularly or if you find it difficult to control yourself.
- Try practicing yoga. Yoga is a great way to relieve stress and improve your mindset. Start your day by practicing yoga or when you feel out of control.
- Do meditation. Since time immemorial, meditation has proven to be a great and easy way to relax. Get into the habit of breathing through your nose. Focus on the breath while feeling calm. Meditation can be done at any time.
- Get enough rest in a day. Relaxation is an important aspect of maintaining self-control. Our minds cannot rest if we work all day. Set aside time to be alone and enjoy activities that you enjoy.
Step 2. Get to know yourself better
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, especially when you tend to misbehave. Use that information to prevent it before it happens. Don't let yourself get carried away by the situation that led to the error or find a way to stop it. The better you know yourself, the more you will be able to control yourself.
- You can get to know yourself by writing. Write down your strengths and weaknesses honestly. When do you feel you can control yourself well and when it is difficult to control yourself? When do you usually misbehave? In what situation? Is it when you are sad, stressed, hungry, or sleep deprived? Once you know your own behavior patterns, use this information and make lifestyle changes to improve your behavior.
- You can also get to know yourself through meditation. Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and focus on your breath. After some time, you will feel calmer. After that, ask yourself questions and answer them honestly.
- Ask friends and family members what they think of you. Ask them how you can improve your behavior and why your emotions are out of control. Remember that they are willing to help you. So it would be very helpful if you let them know that you want to change.
- Take an online personality test. While this may not necessarily be accurate, it can help you realize what you already know about yourself.
- See a therapist, behavior specialist, or counselor at school. Even if your behavior is good, it can really help you get to know yourself better and know how to behave yourself.
- Use what you learn about yourself to improve behavior. If you tend to feel bored in class, try to be more active in paying attention to the subject matter. Take notes and make a commitment to study the material and your time in class will be more enjoyable. If you tend to misbehave when you're stressed, try therapy to manage stress.
Step 3. Get in the habit of exercising regularly to improve self-control
Science proves that short exercise can help you improve your self-control. Intense short exercise can increase the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain's front cortex, which is responsible for self-control. In addition, making a commitment to keep practicing is very good for improving self-control.
- Get in the habit of exercising at least four times a week.
- You can exercise anywhere, you don't have to go to the gym. Walking, swimming, or taking a friend on a bike can have a therapeutic effect and can be very beneficial.
- Get used to doing physical activity every day. Instead of driving, try walking or cycling so you can get regular physical activity.
Step 4. Try to get enough sleep at night
Doctors recommend that we sleep seven to ten hours every night. Make a good sleep schedule and stick to it. Research has shown that lack of sleep depletes glucose in the frontal cortex of the brain, which is needed for self-control. During sleep, your body will restore glucose levels. Conversely, lack of sleep makes you unable to control yourself because your body condition is not prime.
- You can improve all aspects of your health by getting enough sleep, not just self-control. Improving sleep patterns will improve emotions, mental health, and physical fitness.
- Be careful not to oversleep. The benefits of sleep will be lost if you sleep more than ten hours.
Step 5. Don't take drugs and alcohol
Harmful substances can lead to violence and addiction. Loss of self-control is an example of wrong behavior. What's more, drugs and alcohol will hinder your ability to make decisions, making it even more difficult to control yourself.
- If you have been taking drugs and alcohol, stop immediately. Ask for help from family members, friends, and therapists.
- There are countries that allow the consumption of a certain amount of alcohol at a certain age. However, alcohol can be very harmful and addictive.
Step 6. Adopt a high-glucose diet
Research proves that glucose is indispensable in self-control. We will use stored glucose when controlling ourselves. If glucose levels are low, we are not able to control behavior properly. Keep the intake of glucose into the body throughout the day.
- Orange or lemon juice is a good source of glucose and fluid intake.
- Fresh or dried fruit is high in glucose, such as watermelon and mango.
- Honey and fruit juices are also very rich in glucose.
- Wheat, whole grains, beans, and various types of vegetables also contain glucose.
Tips
- Get in the habit of relaxing and de-stressing regularly. A mindset that always puts work first can trigger negative emotional behavior.
- Be careful what you say and do when you feel out of control. Deep breathing can also be very helpful.
- Set goals in all aspects of your life. Write it down and post it in a visible place. Execute your plan well.
- If in doubt, try to observe the actions of the people around you. Try to imitate their actions, volume, and behavior.
- Listen to your teacher or supervisor's instructions.
