F. Scott Fitzgerald once received a rejection letter saying, "Your novel would be better off if you got rid of the Gatsby character." Of course not every rejection makes you successful, but why should you fail? If you want to be successful, you have to learn to accept rejection, work on overcoming your setbacks, and come back with more strength and desire. So how do you accept rejection instead of being constantly angry because you can't get what you want? Take a look at step 1 below.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Have a More Positive Mindset
Step 1. Don't let the rejection define you
One way to have more positive thinking as you learn to accept rejection is to not let the rejection judge who you are. If you were fooled by your boyfriend, or lied to by a job offer, or rejected from the school of your choice, you shouldn't let that make you feel like you're not someone you deserve and deserve. Of course, being rejected is not easy to accept, but it only relates to one particular situation and cannot judge you as a human being.
- Instead of saying, “I was rejected by my favorite school”, say something like, “I was rejected by the situation”. Don't think it's "you" who got turned down, but you didn't get the opportunity you wanted.
- If the rejection makes you feel like a worthless loser, it will only set you up for failure again. Better you focus on the circumstances that happened, not on the fact that happened to you.
Step 2. Be proud of who you are
Another way to have positive thoughts about rejection is to think of all the people who have never had the courage to try what you are trying to do. You might like someone and ask them out. You might email a literary publisher an inquiry to see if they'd like to see your manuscript. You may be applying for a job that you are struggling to achieve. If things don't work out the way you want, you should still be proud that you have the courage to put yourself out there.
Don't be sad if you get rejected. Rejoice that you have the courage to face a unique opportunity. Think about other things you can achieve or achieve. The sky is the limit
Step 3. Don't exaggerate
People tend to take one rejection and let it make them feel completely unworthy, as if they couldn't do anything in that place back. If you get rejected by someone you like, you should see it as a situation beyond your control, not a sign that you will never find love again. If your book proposal is rejected by three publishers, don't let the rejection lead you to think that the next thirty publishers won't accept you. Think of other talented husbands/writers/people who would never get anything done if they quit after hearing a single "no."
You better see it as an opportunity to get up and try again. If you let one, or several, or even a few thousand rejections make you think that it will always bring you down, you will have a hard time finding happiness or success
Step 4. Focus on the positive aspects of rejection (if any)
Okay, let's face it: sometimes, rejection is just a rejection, and there's nothing good to be gained from rejection. However, there are times when a silver line can be drawn, if you see it hard enough, or even if you don't see it as hard. You may be rejected by the job you are applying for, but you are told to reapply within six months because you are a strong candidate; although it is still a rejection, you can also think of it as a first step to set your foot in front of the door. It all depends on how you look at it – do you want to see the glass completely empty, or at least look for a few drops of water to quench your thirst?
- If you are rejected in a relationship, you may think that there is absolutely nothing good about the rejection. However, you can also see it as an opportunity that you can use to fall in love, and an opportunity to find love again. This is much better than you just taking it as a rejection with no added value at all.
- If a publisher rejects your manuscript, it may also tell you that you have a lot of talent and you shouldn't hesitate to achieve it again by revising it. Even if you're not at the publisher you dream of, you're at least getting the attention of others, and increasing your chances of getting more attention in the future.
Step 5. Don't take the rejection personally
Another way to be more positive when rejected is to not take it personally. If you're rejected by a company, or you can't get into your favorite school, try not to assume that you're always at fault. You never know why you were rejected by the company – maybe someone else was hired internally, maybe they were looking for someone who could move faster – and you were rejected not because you were an unqualified loser and had no future. Know that rejection happens to make us better, and that it has nothing to do with you personally.
Well, if you're being fooled by your crush, it might be hard for you not to take the rejection personally. But try to look at the bigger picture. If you get rejected, it's because something in your relationship didn't go well. It doesn't mean that you're not the right person for someone else – it just means that you're not currently the right person for that person
Step 6. Think about the future positively
Another way to think positively when you're rejected is to always look to the future instead of just regretting or figuring out why you're so unlucky right now. If you get turned down by a job, think about other jobs and opportunities out there. If you've been rejected in a relationship, think of other interesting people you've met. If your first novel was rejected by fifty publishers and you feel like you're losing faith, think about all the amazing words you haven't written. If you let the rejection judge everything in your life and you don't see much better things out there, you will never be able to move on and forget the rejection.
When you get rejected, think of all the opportunities you haven't tried out there. Write down the opportunities and see. If you really feel that there are no other opportunities out there, ask your friends to help change your mind. There couldn't be another opportunity out there
Part 2 of 3: Learn from Rejection
Step 1. Think of rejection like pulling your tooth out
One way to look at rejection is to assume that it is very valuable to your path to success. How many actresses got the lead role after their first audition? How many authors can publish their book with just one attempt? You may think that success comes to people naturally or not, but the most important fact is that rejection should be seen as a badge of honor and a sign of your commitment, not as an indicator of your future success. Whenever you are rejected, think of the rejection as a good step towards success.
- If you're a writer looking for a publisher, tell yourself that you won't get a chance to publish one of your short stories until you get rejected fifty times. Every time you get a rejection, think of it as a step for you to achieve success.
- If you are looking for a new job, you should think about the fact that you will get at least 5 or 10, if not 15, rejections each time you are interviewed. Be proud of all those rejections because it means you're trying and your path to acceptance will be closer.
Step 2. See what you can do next time
Use the resistance to help you think about the future and your next endeavor to achieve whatever you are trying to achieve. If you don't succeed at the interview, ask yourself if you can improve your communication or body language. If your novel is rejected, ask yourself if you need to revise it by cutting out some of the twists and turns or sharpening the dialogue. Think about the improvements you can make before you try again next time, and work towards achieving them.
- If you're lucky enough, you can get constructive feedback, so use it to help you get better. If an employee tells you that you need to improve your writing skills, it's better to find a teacher or tutor, or ask a friend who is good at writing for help. If the publisher tells you that your protagonist isn't very original, try making the character even better.
- Of course, some of the feedback you get may be insignificant or completely unrelated. You don't have to change yourself or your work to follow someone else's path of success unless you agree to it.
Step 3. See how much progress you've made since you were first rejected
If this is the first time you've been rejected, this hat is yours – welcome to the sorority. Most of us have been rejected several times, if you have, you've probably thrown the pile of rejections somewhere. Don't think of rejection as something sad, be proud of yourself for all the rejections you have. Then, take a look at the previous rejections you've had and see if you can graph how much progress you've made. You will see that you have progressed greatly as a student, writer, etc.
- This will work especially if you are a struggling writer. Look at your previous stories and compare them to the one you are currently working on. Of course, if you're still rejected, you'll probably have some doubts about your story, but don't hesitate. It's better to think about how much progress you've made since the first rejection, and be proud of yourself for working hard.
- If we're talking about rejection in a relationship, well, it might not be easy to not feel hurt. Think about the failure of your first relationship, and think about how you got back up and how long it took you to open up again. Remember that not all rejections are created equal, and you will always have progress, even if you feel like rejection will never end.
Step 4. Know when it's time to go down a new path
One of the hardest parts of accepting rejection is figuring out whether or not what you're trying to achieve is worth achieving. While you shouldn't let rejection get you down or continue to hide your potential, there's always a time and place for things, and if you're constantly being rejected, maybe it's time to ask yourself if what you're trying to achieve is worth it. to achieve, or whether you should go a different path. Obsession is defined as trying the same thing over and over but expecting different results. If you feel like you've tried the same approach again and again and still get rejected, it might be time to take a new path.
- There is a fine line between being persistent and being stubborn. If you truly believe that your book is better and ready to be given to a publisher, you may continue to try to find the right publisher after the first sixty rejections. But if all the publishers who reject you say that the book still needs improvement, you're better off spending your time revising the manuscript than continuing to accept the same form of rejection.
- If you've been trying to get the same girl for months on end, and you feel like you're going nowhere, maybe it's time for you to accept what happened and forget about it. Use experience to help you find someone who likes you for who you are rather than constantly pushing them around.
Step 5. Know that everything happens for a reason
Of course, "everything happens for a reason" is probably one of the most annoying phrases you'll ever hear, especially when you've just been hurt by a rejection. You may think that they are just empty phrases that people use to comfort others and that they are meaningless. Of course, there will always be times when you feel hurt and you have to lick your wound and move on. But if you think about the past rejections in your life, you may understand that they are actually leading you to something better and happier. Even if the rejection doesn't look like it now, accept the fact that it can lead you to something positive you never imagined.
- For example, if you were rejected from the tennis group. You may have been training all this time and saved all your money for the sport, but you're still on the volleyball team. And who knows – this sport might be a better fit for you.
- You may feel that your school experience will not be the same if you get into your favorite University as you always wanted, but if you have entered school, you may not be able to imagine your life without the friends around you. You will go back to the day you thought that your favorite university was your dream school and you would laugh.
- You could be rejected by your dream job. However, the rejection will take your career in a new direction – and find new paths that you never thought of before.
Part 3 of 3: Towards a Greater Path
Step 1. Talk to your friend about the rejection
Another way to accept rejection is to talk to a trusted friend about how you feel. If you're feeling down after being rejected by both professional and personal things, sometimes nothing can make you feel better than talking to a friend you trust. Don't hold back your anger, better call your old friend to talk about how you feel. You will feel better and you will be able to move on faster because there is someone you can talk to about your problems.
- You may feel the rejection is a disaster. However, a friend can give you more reasonable and polite feedback.
- However, don't brag about your rejection on the five people closest to you. Having friends who don't take sides as well as have helpful opinions can cheer you up, but complaining and constantly talking about the same issues will only make you feel worse.
- Make sure you talk to someone who understands how much rejection means to you. Have a friend who says, “this is not the end of the world!” when you feel a sentence might be the last thing you want to hear.
Step 2. Talk to other people about their rejection
You are not the only person in the world who has experienced rejection. If you're really feeling down, talk to your friends, family, or coworkers about your rejection, and see what these people have been through. Of course, your friend may currently have an ideal marriage, but you've never heard of an ex who hurt her. Your writing friend may be in the prime of his career, but you forget that he has to write four novels before his novel is published.
Talking to other people about their experience of rejection will make you feel less alone, and understand that everyone has experienced how you are feeling
Step 3. See how many successful people have had to experience rejection
Find out how most successful people in our culture have experienced many failures before they became this successful. Knowing that you're not the only person experiencing rejection can keep you feeling motivated to keep going. While of course not everyone who experiences rejection becomes very famous, you should still try to get to the top. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind was rejected by 38 publishers before it was finally published.
- Marilyn Monroe was advised to stop acting when she first started acting. The modeling agency suggested that she should become a secretary.
- Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because his story lacked imagination.
- Oprah Winfrey was fired from an early gig as a news reporter because she couldn't separate emotion from her story.
- Michael Jordan was kicked out of his school basketball team.
Step 4. Get in the habit of getting rejected when the rejection doesn't mean much to you
Another way to accept rejection is to learn to be rejected as early and often as possible. If you don't get rejected so often, the rejection you experience will only make you feel even more hurt. But if you get rejected often, especially if you don't really care, you'll learn to accept rejection and see rejection as a rejection – no big deal. Depending on your situation, there are many ways in which you can get used to being rejected – so you can quickly accept the rejection.
- If you're feeling sad about being rejected by the girl you like, you should do it more often. No, that's not to say you have to ask every girl you see on a date, but it's a good idea to ask girls 10-20% more often than before. If you're still being rejected, especially if you know your heart will hurt, you'll get used to being rejected and won't see rejection as a big problem the next time you get rejected.
- If you feel hurt that every time you submit your manuscript to a literary journal you receive a rejection, you should send your manuscript to multiple places. Of course this doesn't mean you have to submit your stories before they're ready for publication, but you should send your stories more often, so you won't feel offended after you've been rejected again.
Step 5. Don't bemoan the rejection
If you want to accept rejection and move on from it, you must learn to stop bemoaning whatever bad things have happened in your life. You might as well talk it over, write it down, make some agree and disagree lists about your future decisions, or do whatever you need to do to accept what happened. However, you should find other valuable experiences, whether by spending time with friends or with photography, to keep yourself from bemoaning the rejection you get. If you have accepted the rejection, the best thing you need to do is move on and forget about it.
- Easier said than done, right? It's hard to stop lamenting your rejection, especially if you're feeling confused, hurt, etc. But the sooner you find other ways to spend your time, the sooner you can forget about them.
- If we're talking about breaking up, you'd better stop being sad. Allow yourself to feel how you feel, take some time to cry, write in your book, and connect with your emotions, and forget about it when you're ready.
Step 6. Don't put all the eggs in one place
Another way to be more accepting of rejection is to not hang anything in your life on one outcome. This may mean that you can enter the Iowa Writer's Workshop if you are a writer, married to someone you have loved for a long time, or were the principal of the school where you worked for five years. While having goals, both personal and professional, is what keeps us motivated to keep going, you shouldn't rely on one thing that is very valuable to you.
- This doesn't mean you won't be hurt if someone you care about rejects you. However, when you are still truly in love, you should always feel that you have something else in your life besides the relationship.
- Alright, you might really want to go to the Iowa Writer's Workshop. You may feel that this is the only way to become a publishable writer. But make sure you follow other programs. You may be welcome anywhere, and you still have a great experience where you can explore your desires.
Suggestion
- Talk to people you trust. This will really help you.
- Imagine the person rejecting you and you talk about the rejection in a way that you like.