Everyone, big or small, fat or thin, female or male, can experience inferiority complexes or feelings of inferiority towards others. Sometimes, we tell ourselves that we are not good, not beautiful, not smart, even though it is not based on facts. The good news is that you can deal with inferiority complexes in a number of ways, which are described in this article.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Challenging Your Feelings
Step 1. Find out the source of your low self-esteem
There are two types of inferiority complexes, the first is acquired during childhood, while the second occurs when you are unable to achieve the goals you set for yourself. The severity of these two types of inferiority complex can vary.
- The inferiority complex of childhood can result from parents ignoring, or over-criticizing and shaming, exposure to negative messages from the media, or the absence of positive social experiences.
- The inferiority complex that develops in adulthood can occur when you feel like you can't reach your goals, or if you feel harassed by your family, partner, or coworkers.
- Both types of inferiority complexes are associated with feelings of low self-esteem and negatively comparing oneself to others.
Step 2. Watch for signs of an inferiority complex
Sometimes, you may not realize that what you are doing is caused by an inferiority complex because this problem can affect the way you act and think.
- You may be in a relationship with someone in the hope that that person will fill a void in you.
- You may feel the urge to hide your true feelings and wear a mask to convince people that you are better than you think.
- You may isolate yourself from others.
- You may exhibit compulsive behaviors such as shopping, eating, drinking, or collecting excessively.
- You may try to control, blame, or hurt another person.
- You may not be able to take compliments.
- You may be easy to manipulate or adaptable.
- You may experience feelings of anxiety, reluctance to trust others, lack of self-respect, and fear of rejection.
Step 3. Find the triggers for low self-esteem
An inferiority complex can arise because of something you've been through. Before dealing with low self-esteem, you need to find out what caused it, whether it was a bad childhood experience, a traumatic event, or someone who insulted you over the years.
Reflect on your past. Try to remember your experiences that have the potential to trigger low self-esteem. Some of the events that you have experienced may be buried deep because it was very painful
Step 4. Determine who you feel inferior to
Someone who has an inferiority complex will feel inferior to others. Specify who makes you feel inferior? Or, define it in general terms and then confirm who it is.
- Do you feel inferior when you meet someone attractive? Rich? Smart? Success? Start with that category and then name one or more people in your daily life.
- After determining who or who makes you feel inferior, think about how he/she is not better than you. Is he good at playing the piano like you? Does he have a work ethic as good as yours? Have a sense of caring like you? Have values that your family believes in?
Step 5. Describe your problem
One way to deal with inferiority complexes is to break them down. Start with traits that make you feel inferior by thinking logically instead of using emotions. Do you see deficiency as a bad thing? If the answer is “yes”, remember that everyone has traits that need improvement. What you perceive as a deficiency may not necessarily be seen as a deficiency by others. Maybe no one notices your chin, which you've always thought was too big. To you, a bald head may feel like a drawback, whereas there are women who find bald men attractive.
The things you perceive as flaws cannot control you. Even if you have a big chin, fat body, or bald head, don't let these conditions define you. These conditions are only a small aspect of you, but will control and define your life if you allow it
Step 6. Recognize that we all feel inferior in some ways
Everyone feels inferior when dealing with someone in a certain way because no one has everything. Even if someone is considered the most beautiful and rich, there will always be someone else who is smarter or more compassionate. On the other hand, everyone has advantages over others in certain respects. Every person is a combination of positive and negative aspects. By understanding this concept, you can see yourself more realistically.
Since everyone has flaws, there is no reason to feel inferior. Exaggerating your flaws and self-awareness makes you feel inferior. You create these feelings yourself and only exist in your mind
Part 2 of 3: Changing the Way of Thinking
Step 1. Don't try to match other people
Inferiority complexes are caused by wanting to match other people so that you become who you are not. To want to be someone else is to be unkind to yourself. In addition, this will limit you from being able to do new things. Don't try to be someone else. Be yourself.
Get inspiration from others by referring to and imitating their personality for you to apply to yourself. However, just be yourself. Don't try to imitate or be someone else. You can look up to people as role models, but you have to be true to yourself
Step 2. Don't worry about what other people think
Inferiority complexes arise because we are too busy caring about what people think of us. We often feel troubled because we think too much about whether other people will see our strengths. This is an unhealthy mindset. Don't worry about what other people think of you because your own opinion is what matters.
Sometimes other people's judgments may be right, but often they are based on imagination. Try to make yourself happy without worrying about other people's opinions and don't make other people's judgments yourself
Step 3. Focus on your positive qualities
Low self-esteem usually develops because you emphasize what you don't have instead of thinking about what you do have. Everyone has positive qualities. So try to get to know yourself and your life honestly. Write down what good things you have, for example: “I have a good job with growth opportunities” or “My teeth are pearly white.” After that, think about how much goodness you have. Even if the goodness you have doesn't make you better than other people, remember that you don't have to be better than other people, but rather feel satisfied with yourself and be grateful for what you have.
Think about things from all aspects of your life. You may be too fat, but you have strong legs and arms. Maybe you have a happy family, smart children, a good education, a good car, or are able to knit well. Many things make us feel happy. Try to find the positives and focus on those things
Step 4. Don't compare yourself to others
Many people experience an inferiority complex because they compare themselves to others too often. This just results in a long list of names of people you think are better than you. Do not compare yourself with others because everyone has a different life and environment, for example in terms of family, genetics, and opportunities.
Step 5. Learn to accept the situation
The inferiority complex makes us think: “if certain things change, our lives will be more enjoyable”. For example, “If I lost 10 kg, my life would be more enjoyable” or “If my job was better, I would feel happier.” Even if your desires are fulfilled, your happiness is only temporary because subconsciously, you still harbor insecurities. Materials and pseudo-things that you pursue because you feel inferior are not a powerful way to solve problems. Change the habit of thinking that says, "If I…, my life will be happy" because you will be disappointed when these things don't bring happiness.
Focusing on your strengths, virtues, and positive things right now is a mindset that makes you feel happy. Learn to accept circumstances so you can live a happy life
Step 6. Break the habit of self-criticism
Saying negative things to yourself every day only exacerbates your inferiority complex because it makes you even more disappointed in yourself and forms false negative beliefs in your mind. If you start thinking, "He doesn't like me because I look ugly" or "I didn't get a job because I'm not good at it," stop immediately and replace it with positive thoughts about yourself.
Don't lie to yourself by saying, "He loves me because I'm the most beautiful woman." Instead, say realistically positive things, "I'm an attractive and lovable woman. I'm a kind and generous person who makes a lot of difference. people want to be friends with me.”
Step 7. Build self-confidence
In order to get rid of the inferiority complex, work on building self-confidence. Start by improving the way you see yourself. Inferiority complexes are formed because we have a wrong picture of ourselves. Try to realize that a false self-image doesn't reveal who you really are.
Get rid of the labels you give yourself by changing the negative mindset that says you are stupid, ugly, a loser, a failure, etc. Reject these thoughts and get into the habit of thinking positively about yourself
Part 3 of 3: Doing Positive Things
Step 1. Don't limit social interaction
Inferiority complexes are usually formed by withdrawn, antisocial, and shy attitudes. People with low self-esteem tend to be afraid of socializing and opening up. Dare to interact with others. Low self-esteem exists only in the mind. The more you socialize, the more you will realize that others are not judging, mocking, or insulting you. This way, you can feel comfortable and confident around people.
Step 2. Make friends with positive people
The people we interact with often can greatly affect our self-esteem. You will be affected if you spend a lot of time with negative people who are always criticizing, commenting, and judging others. Therefore, take the time to interact with positive people who are willing to accept and like others without judging. Find friends who don't like judging others so you can accept yourself as you are.
While self-confidence should grow from within, making friends with people who accept you for who you are can be very helpful. This will dispel the mistaken view that other people are always judging and criticizing you
Step 3. Strive to continuously improve yourself
One way to overcome low self-esteem is to continue to improve yourself. You are free to choose the way, perhaps by developing work skills, exploring new hobbies, exploring current hobbies, setting sports targets, or starting to save money to go on vacation. Strive to make your life better and more meaningful. This method will reduce feelings of inferiority because people who succeed in achieving goals are less likely to feel inferior.
Step 4. Volunteer
To make it easier to see reality, do activities outside the home by helping other people and the community, for example by doing community service in a residential area or doing charity work. By doing these activities, you are able to see that the reality is not as bad as you think so far.
By volunteering, you have the opportunity to experience success and build self-esteem. This method can overcome low self-esteem because you are willing to help the community. In addition, you will feel more appreciated and no longer a burden to others
Step 5. Challenge your biggest fear
Do you think that other people will look at you or make comments? Fear is natural, but remember that everyone is different. The comments you hear are not necessarily true and should be ignored. It was certain that something was wrong in their minds.
Tips
- Never listen to people who insult you.
- Don't feel inferior because you are different.
- Believe in yourself because everyone is unique.
- Focus on your strengths and the positives you have.
- Love yourself. Everyone in this life is an amazing person in their own way.
- Remember that you are not alone just because you are different.
