Feeling confused when talking to or interacting with someone who has physical, sensory, or mental limitations is common. Socializing with people with disabilities should not be distinguished from other socialization. However, if you're not familiar with the person's flaws, you may be afraid to say something that might offend them, or do something wrong when you're trying to help them.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Talking to Someone with Disabilities
Step 1. Respect the person, that's all that matters
A person with a disability should be respected as much as you would respect anyone else. See others as human beings, not humans with disabilities. Focus on his personality. If you do have to label a disability, it's best to first ask the term the person has chosen, and continue to use this term. In general, you should follow the following “Golden Rule”: treat others as you would like to be treated.
- Most, but not all, people with disabilities prefer “people first” language, which puts a person's name or identity before the name of their disability. For example, say "his brother, who has Down Syndrome" instead of "His idiot brother".
- Another example of “people first” language is saying, “Rian has cerebral palsy”, “Lala is blind”, or “Sarah uses a wheelchair”, instead of saying that someone is “mentally/physically disabled” (this term is often seen as a derogatory) or refer to someone by calling him “the blind girl” or “the lame girl”. If possible, avoid these terms when talking about someone. Words such as “disabled” or “abnormal” can weigh heavily on people with disabilities, and some will take them as insults.
- Keep in mind that the norms for labeling may vary from group to group. For example, many deaf, blind, and autistic people reject “people first” language in favor of “identify-first” language (for example, “Anisa is autistic”). As another example, deaf groups are more familiar with the terms “deaf” or “deaf” to describe their limitations, but the term “deaf” (with a capital D) in the United States is used to refer to a culture or person with it. When in doubt, politely ask the person you're talking to what term they prefer.
Step 2. Don't underestimate someone with a disability
Despite his abilities, no one wants to be treated like a child or looked down upon by others. When you talk to someone with a disability, don't use nursery rhymes, pet names, or loud voices. Don't use demeaning gestures like rubbing her back or hair. This habit implies that you don't feel that someone with a disability is able to understand what you are saying, and you liken it to a child. Use your usual tone and vocabulary, and talk to him like you would a normal person.
- It's okay to speak slowly to someone who has a hearing or cognitive impairment. Just like when you turn up your volume when talking to a deaf person, so he can hear you. Usually, the person will tell you if you speak too quietly. You should ask him if you are speaking too fast or not, or ask him to tell you if you are speaking too fast or not clearly.
- Don't feel that you have to use simple vocabulary. Simplify your vocabulary only when you are talking to someone who has intellectual or communication limitations that are quite worrying. It's rude to confuse the other person you're talking to, and it's also rude to talk to someone but they don't understand what you're talking about. When in doubt, speak casually and ask about the person's language needs.
Step 3. Don't use labels or terms that could offend, especially in a casual way
Derogatory labels and names are inappropriate and should be avoided when you are talking to someone with a disability. Identifying someone for their limitations or creating a label that could offend (such as disabled or idiot) is both rude and rude behavior. Always be careful what you say, censor your language if necessary. Always avoid names like stupid, idiot, limp, midget, etc. Don't recognize someone because of their limitations, but identify their name or role in society.
- If you introduce someone with a disability, you don't need to introduce them. You can say, “This is my co-worker, Susan” without saying, “This is my coworker, Susan, who is deaf.”
- If you say a commonly used phrase like, “let's go for a walk!” to someone who is crippled, do not apologize to him. By saying phrases like this, you're not trying to hurt the other person's feelings, and by apologizing, you're actually showing your awareness of that person's limitations.
Step 4. Speak directly to the person, not to the companion or interpreter
Most people with disabilities get annoyed when people don't talk to them directly if they are accompanied by an assistant or translator. So, talk directly to someone with a disability, rather than talking to someone standing next to them. His body may have limitations, but his brain does not! If you are speaking to someone who has a nurse to assist them or someone who is deaf and is accompanied by a sign language interpreter, you should always speak directly to him or her, not the nurse or the interpreter.
Even if the person doesn't look like they're listening to you (for example, someone with autism who doesn't look at you when spoken to), don't think they can't hear you. Talk to him
Step 5. Position yourself to be in line with him
If you're talking to someone who has a disability that prevents them from standing at your level, for example someone who uses a wheelchair, align yourself with them. This will allow you to talk face-to-face, so you don't look down when you're talking to him, which can make him comfortable.
Be aware of this especially when you have a long conversation with him, because it will make his neck hurt from looking up too long to see your face
Step 6. Be patient and ask questions if needed
There is always the temptation to speed up the conversation or to continue a sentence someone with a disability is trying to say, but this is very rude. Always let him speak at the pace he likes, without forcing him to speak, think, and move faster. Additionally, if you don't understand something he's talking about because he's speaking too slowly or too fast, don't be afraid to ask questions. Feeling that you understand what he's saying can embarrass you if you find you misheard him, so don't forget to repeat what he's saying to double-check.
- The speech of someone who has difficulty speaking or stutters may be difficult to understand, so don't tell him to speak faster, and ask him to repeat what he's saying if needed.
- Some people need more time to process their speech or convert their thoughts into spoken words (regardless of intellectual ability). It's okay if there are long pauses in a conversation.
Step 7. Feel free to ask something about someone's limitations
It might not be polite to ask about the person's limitations just out of curiosity, but if you feel you should ask because it might help the person (such as asking him if he wants to take the elevator with you instead of taking the stairs because you notice he's having trouble walking)), it is legal. Chances are he's used to answering questions about his limitations and knows how to explain them briefly. If the limitation is due to an accident or he finds the information too personal, he will likely reply that he doesn't want to talk about it.
Feeling that you know his limitations can hurt him; better ask directly than guess
Step 8. Realize that some of the limitations are invisible
If you meet someone who looks normal and he's parked in a disabled parking lot, don't go up to him and accuse him of not being disabled; he may have an “invisible disability”. Limitations that are not immediately visible are still limitations.
- The good habit to maintain is to be kind and polite to everyone; You don't know someone's situation just by looking at them.
- Some of the limitations may vary from day to day: someone who needed a wheelchair yesterday might only need a cane. It's not that he's faking his situation or that things suddenly "get better," they have good days and bad days like most people.
Part 2 of 2: Interacting Politely
Step 1. Put yourself in the position of the disabled
It may be easier to understand how to interact with someone with a disability if you imagine that you have one too. Think about how you would like others to treat you. Most likely you want to be treated the way other people treat you right now.
- Therefore, you should talk to someone who has a disability just as you would talk to other people. Greet your new coworker who has limitations as you normally would with a new coworker in your office. Don't look at his limitations or do anything that could bring him down.
- Don't focus on the limitations. It doesn't matter if you already know the cause of the limitation. What's important is that you treat him as an equal, talk to him the way you normally would with anyone else, and act the way you would if someone new walked into your life.
Step 2. Offer to help
Some people are hesitant to offer help to someone with a disability for fear of offending them. Of course, if you offer to help because you assume he can't do it, your offer will offend him. However, only a small percentage of people will be offended by the help you offer.
- Most people with disabilities will find it difficult to ask for help, but they will be grateful if someone is willing to help.
- For example, if you go shopping with a friend who uses a wheelchair, you can offer to help carry her things or store them in a wheelchair. Offering help usually won't offend the other person.
- If you don't have a specific way to help her, you can ask, "Can I help you?"
- Don't help someone without asking first; for example, don't hold someone's wheelchair and try to push it down a steep path. Better ask if he needs help pushing his wheelchair, or anything else that can be done to make it easier.
Step 3. Don't play with the companion dog
Companion dogs are adorable and well-trained – they are perfect for petting and playing with. However, they are usually trained to help someone with a disability, and are indispensable for performing small tasks. If you play with the dog without asking his permission first, you may disturb the dog while he is doing his master's task. If you see a companion dog in action, don't interfere with petting it. If the dog is not doing anything, you can ask the owner's permission to pet him and play with him. Remember that your wishes may be rejected, so don't be disappointed or sad.
- Don't give snacks or other food without permission
- Don't try to distract a companion dog by calling out to him, even if you're not actually petting or touching him.
Step 4. Avoid playing with someone's wheelchair or other walking aids
A wheelchair may be a great place to lean back, but the person sitting in the wheelchair will feel uncomfortable and this can irritate him. Unless you are asked to help him push or move his wheelchair, you may not touch or play with it. Likewise with other tools that a person uses to carry out daily activities. If you feel like playing or moving someone's wheelchair, you should ask permission first, and wait for a response.
- Treat the assistive device like the person's body part: you won't want to hold or move another person's hand or lean on their shoulder. Be that way with the equipment.
- All objects or tools that a person uses to assist his or her disability, such as an interpreting machine or oxygen tank, should not be touched unless necessary.
Step 5. Recognize that most people with disabilities have adapted
Some limitations are inborn, and others arise over time due to growth processes, accidents, or disease. Whatever the cause of their limitations, most people with disabilities have learned how to adapt and take care of themselves independently. Even so, they still need a little help from other people. Thus, the assumption that a person with limitations cannot do many things is something that can offend one's feelings. Believe in the assumption that one can do anything with one's own efforts.
- A person who is predisposed as a result of an accident needs help more than someone who is born with a disability, but wait until he or she asks for your help before assuming they need it.
- Don't hesitate to ask someone with a disability to do certain tasks because you're worried that they won't be able to complete them.
- If you offer help, make your offer as sincere and specific as possible. If you offer help sincerely, without assuming that the person can't do anything, you won't offend them.
Step 6. Don't get in the way
Try to be polite to someone with a disability by not getting in their way. Move to the side if you see someone trying to pass in a wheelchair. Keep your feet out of the path of someone using a cane or walker. If you notice that someone seems unable to stand up straight, offer verbal assistance. Keep a distance between you and the person, as with any other person. However, if someone asks you for help, be prepared to help.
Do not touch equipment or pets without asking permission first. Remember that a wheelchair or other assistive device is a personal part of the person. Respect it
Tips
- Some people will refuse to accept help, and that's okay. Some people feel like they don't need help, and others may feel embarrassed that you realize they need help, or don't want to appear weak. They may have had bad experiences with other people who helped them in the past. Don't take it too seriously; just wish them the best.
- Stay away from assumptions. Don't make any kind of judgment based on someone's abilities or incompetence that you assume, for example assuming that someone with a disability will not be able to achieve something, be it getting a job or a lover, getting married and having children, and so on.
- Unfortunately, some people with disabilities or disabilities are particularly vulnerable to intimidation, violence, hatred, and unfair treatment, as well as discrimination. Intimidation, violence and discrimination against anything is wrong, unfair and illegal. You and others have the right to feel safe, treated with respect, kindness, honesty, fairness and dignity at all times. No one has the right to be bullied, abused, hated, and treated unfairly forever. It is the oppressors who are at fault, not you.
- Some people will decorate their assistive devices-canes, walkers, wheelchairs, and so on. In some cases, appearance is very important. It's okay to compliment someone because their wand is attractively designed. After all, he decorated his wand because he thought it looked good. Another important thing is the function of the tool. Someone who adds a cup holder and flashlight to their walker won't be offended if you comment on them or ask for permission to take a closer look; it is more polite than seeing it from a distance.
- Sometimes, it's really important to win over yourself and see things from a certain perspective. Does the child destroy your peace and quiet with his hum? Before you scold him, ask yourself "why?". Ask yourself what kind of lifestyle the child is living and what difficulties he is facing. Then, you may find it easier to give up your happiness to try to understand.
