Doubt can lead to various problems, such as developing feelings of insecurity, decreasing one's self-esteem, and increasing feelings of depression, frustration, and hopelessness. Remember, everyone must have had doubts. That's normal. But doubting everything excessively is not wise. To clear doubts, you need to first understand them and change your perspective to be more positive. You cannot expect a full life if you are constantly in doubt. Learn to understand and clear your doubts, your life will surely feel more peaceful and positive.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Understanding Your Doubts
Step 1. Realize and admit your doubts
To work on something, you need to first become aware of its existence and acknowledge that it can influence your decisions. Doubt arises not without reason; don't think of it as an enemy or a sign of your inferiority.
Step 2. Question your doubts
What do you doubt? Where did this doubt come from? You need to ask these questions to understand your actions. So, never hesitate to ask. Focus on understanding what is “blocking you”; afterwards, it will help you to realize which doubts are important and well-founded. It may be that you will realize that your doubts are not very important and serious.
Step 3. Recognize and doubt the common cognitive distortions that often plague a person's mind
No one sees things clearly all the time. Sometimes, we allow negative emotions to reign and take all bad things as the truth (even if they really aren't). Observe whether you have ever done one (or more) of the following:
- Filter out, or omit the positive details and focus only on the negative ones. During this time, you may have gotten used to focusing only on the unpleasant details. As a result, you will become increasingly pessimistic when it comes to getting things done. Don't ignore the negative details, but don't let them dominate your mind either. Every situation must have a positive aspect that you also need to pay attention to.
- Overgeneralizing or getting used to drawing big conclusions from one small detail. If we see something bad happen once, we suddenly feel (even hope) the problem repeats itself. Sometimes, this habit makes it too easy for us to jump to conclusions based on very simple data. Whereas we should get used to developing the data and finding out more before concluding anything. Prevent the development of this habit; never be afraid to seek out more information, especially information that could disprove your generalizations.
- Too focused on the worst possibilities. You may often ask, “What if something bad happened to me?”. Thinking about the worst-case scenario can encourage you to overestimate minor mistakes or minimize the chances of something positive happening. Be more confident, think about the best-case scenario, and focus on what you want to achieve. Worst or best case scenario, both may or may not happen. But at least, thinking about positive situations can reduce your doubts.
- Get used to taking everything you feel as the truth. You may often think, "Everything I feel must be true". Remember, your perspective is limited. Your feelings do not cover your entire experience and, therefore, cannot be used as the sole basis for conclusions.
Step 4. Distinguish reasonable and unwarranted doubts
When you question your doubts, you may find that some of them are unfounded. Grounded doubts usually arise because you are trying to do something beyond your capabilities.
- See if you have been burdened with similar responsibilities before. If so (and if those responsibilities require you to grow and mature), then you don't have to doubt your ability to complete them.
- Unwarranted doubts tend to stem from cognitive distortions (excessive and irrational thoughts). If you catch irrationality in your thinking, it could be that your doubts are unfounded.
- Try writing down your feelings in a special notebook or diary. This helps you to regularly observe your emotions and learn to manage them appropriately.
Step 5. Avoid the habit of seeking reassurance
If you constantly ask other people for their opinion before making a decision, it will give the impression that you don't trust yourself.
Seeking reassurance is not the same as asking for advice. Sometimes, the other person's perspective can help clear your mind and clarify your feelings. If your doubts are rooted in the issue of success, try talking to people who are already successful. But remember, whatever their opinion, all decisions remain in your hands
Part 2 of 2: Get Rid of Your Doubts
Step 1. Learn mindfulness meditation techniques
Based on Buddhist principles, mindfulness meditation requires you to focus on the present. In other words, you need to focus on what is happening around you in the moment without thinking about the future. Focusing only on the present can help ease your worries about the future. The Greater Good Science Center of UC Berkeley recommends several ways to practice mindfulness meditation that are worth trying.
- Practice your breathing. Choose a comfortable position (sitting, standing, or lying down), then breathe normally. Observe how you feel and how your body reacts when you breathe. Whenever your focus is distracted, return to concentrating on your breathing. Do this process for a few minutes.
- Take a break. Think of all the situations that could trigger your doubts or frustrations, then feel the tension your body feels when you think about those situations. Acknowledge the pain and frustration you feel (the Greater Good Science Center recommends saying something like, “These are my moments of suffering”). Tell yourself that suffering is a part of life; remind yourself that other people have experienced similar problems. Finally, put your hands on your chest and say affirmations like, "I wish I could treat myself well," or "I wish I could accept myself as I am." Adjust the sentences to the specific doubts or problems you feel.
- Do walking meditation. Walk back and forth 10-15 steps at a location of your choice (either indoors or outdoors). There's no need to rush, stop occasionally to breathe, then continue again. Every single step, be aware of different things your body is doing. Be aware of the sensations of your body's movement, including the sensation of breathing, the sensation when your feet touch the ground, or the sound made when your body moves.
Step 2. Change your perspective on failure
By doing so, your habit of doubting your abilities for fear of failure will diminish. Everyone (no matter how successful they are now) must have failed. Make failure a learning material, instead of seeing it as a stumbling block. Define failure as “experience”: feedback on things you need to improve on in the future. Don't be afraid to try again. This time, focus on the areas that need improvement.
For example, think of a time when you failed (even when completing a very simple job). Also think about what you did to fix the failure. Failure doesn't always happen in complicated situations. You may fail to ride a bicycle or simply fail to get the ball into the basketball hoop at school. What were you doing then? Surely you will compromise with the circumstances and try again, right?
Step 3. Praise yourself for something you did well
Recall that you've also done a lot of things before. Imagine your past achievements, no matter how small, then increase your confidence and believe that you can achieve something more than that. Some achievements can even help you fight the fears you feel right now.
- Your life must be full of achievements, no matter how small. Sometimes, you achieve something big, like successfully completing an important project at work or losing a significant amount of weight. But even simple things like being nice to others or helping a friend move house can be classed as accomplishments for which you should be grateful.
- Try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to anyone else in a similar situation. If they were in a similar situation, you'd be sure to give them as much support as you can and show you care. Don't set higher standards for yourself.
Step 4. Avoid being too perfectionist
If you not only want to be successful, but you also want to be perfect, chances are that your goal will not be achieved. The desire to be perfect leads a person to the fear of failure and making mistakes. Be more realistic about your goals and expectations. Gradually you'll realize that no one is disappointed or insulted by your work just because the results aren't exactly perfect.
- As with doubt, you need to recognize and acknowledge your efforts to be perfect. If you're in the habit of procrastinating, giving up on difficult jobs, or worrying too much about small details, chances are you're a perfectionist.
- Think about the other person's perspective on your situation. Do you wish others were as dedicated or accomplished as you are? Maybe you can see your situation from a different perspective.
- Think about the bigger picture. This is one of the best ways to prevent yourself from getting too hung up on the little details. Ask yourself the worst possible scenario. Can you handle it if the scenario actually happened? Will this scenario have a long term impact on your life?
- Determine an acceptable level of “imperfection”. Make compromises with yourself, telling yourself that not everything has to be perfect. Afterwards you may find it helpful to realize the disadvantages and advantages you feel when you try to always be perfect in everything.
- Face the fear of imperfection. Try deliberately making small mistakes, like sending an email without checking the spelling first, or leaving a room in your house a mess. Opening your eyes to those mistakes (which aren't really mistakes because they're done on purpose) will help you to come to terms with "imperfections."
Step 5. Learn to tolerate uncertainty
Sometimes, doubt arises because you cannot be certain of the future. No one can see the future; Life is full of uncertainty and you have to accept that fact. Some people let their inability to tolerate uncertainty paralyze them and prevent them from taking positive steps in life.
Record your behavior when you are in doubt or faced with certain situations. If you're constantly seeking reassurance (not advice) from others, or repeatedly checking back on your work, be aware of what situations or things trigger the behavior. Identify how you would respond to such situations, especially if the situation did not match your expectations. It may help you to realize that the worst-case scenario is unlikely, and that things that go wrong can be easily fixed
Step 6. Take simple steps to achieve your goals
Instead of focusing on how complex and large your work is, try breaking it down and getting it done in smaller parts. Instead of worrying about the work remaining unfinished, try to appreciate and be grateful for the progress you have made.
