Getting to know someone is something we usually do in our daily life. Even if you are able to interact well, it can sometimes be difficult to find something to talk about, leaving you wondering what other topics to cover. In order not to panic looking for, first prepare some interesting topics. After that, all you have to do is choose one to continue the conversation.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Learning How to Start a Conversation
Step 1. Discuss the topic of the interlocutor
The best way to have a pleasant conversation is to let the other person tell you things about himself because this is a subject he is very familiar with and makes him comfortable talking to. Try doing the following ways:
- Ask him to give his opinion. Start the conversation by asking the other person's opinion about the situation in the room, recent events, or any other topic you'd like to discuss.
- Ask about his life story, for example where he was born, his childhood experiences, etc.
Step 2. Prepare conversation topics for different conditions
Before asking a question, consider how well you know this person. There are two conditions that may occur when you meet someone:
- People you know well: ask how he is, has he had any fun this week, how is his work or school, how are his children, has he watched any good TV shows or movies lately.
- People you know, but haven't seen in a while: ask him what he has been through since the last time he saw him, find out if he still works and lives in the same place, ask how his child is and if he has any more children (if relevant), or ask if he has seen any mutual friends recently. this.
Step 3. Remember what you should avoid
As you already know, never talk about religion, politics, money, relationships, family issues, health issues, or sex with people you don't know very well. Avoid these topics because this conversation can make the other person feel attacked and will usually irritate the other person's feelings.
Step 4. Find out his interests and hobbies
Everyone has interests, hobbies, pleasures, and things they don't like. Ask a few questions about interests and hobbies because these topics can develop into conversations, for example:
- Do you exercise regularly or do you like certain sports?
- Do you often access the internet for fun?
- What reading do you like?
- What activities do you do to fill your spare time?
- What music do you like?
- What is your favorite movie theme?
- What's your favorite TV show?
- What is your favorite board or card game?
- Do you like animals? What animal do you like the most?
Step 5. Ask about family members
The safest questions are about siblings and their general background (where he grew up, for example). Respond enthusiastically so that he will tell you more. Talks about parents can be a touching subject for people who are experiencing parenting problems, have a less intimate relationship with their parents, or have recently lost a parent forever. The topic of children can be uncomfortable for couples who are dealing with fertility issues, are debating the decision to have children, or want to have children but the situation is not yet possible. Some questions you can ask, for example:
- Do you have siblings? If yes, how many people?
- (If he has no siblings) How does it feel to be an only child?
- (If he has siblings) What are his/her names?
- How old are they/they?
- What are the activities/they? (Adjust your question according to the age of the siblings. Are they/are still in school, in college, or already working?)
- Are you similar to your brother/sister?
- Do you have the same personality as your brother/sister?
- Where did you grow up?
Step 6. Ask him about trips he has taken and places he has visited
Even if he's never been out of town, he'll love to talk about his desire to travel to a certain place. You can ask more specifically:
- If you had the opportunity to move abroad, where would you like to live and why?
- Of all the cities you have visited, which city do you like the most?
- Where did you go last vacation? Do you like this place?
- Would you like to share the best/worst vacation or trip you've ever been on?
Step 7. Ask about food and drink
Talking about food is better than drinking because it can offend someone who is addicted to or should not drink alcohol. Be careful not to talk about diet or how to lose weight because it can be a negative conversation. You can ask:
- If there is only one serving, what food do you like the most?
- Which restaurant do you prefer to eat out at?
- Do you like cooking?
- What kind of candy do you like?
- Which restaurant do you think is the worst?
Step 8. Ask about the work
Discussing jobs is not an easy thing because it can seem like a job interview. However, conversations can be fun if you're careful enough to ask polite short questions. And don't forget if he's still studying, retired, or looking for a new job. There are several questions you can ask:
- What are your daily activities? Where do you work/study?
- What was your first job?
- Which boss do you like the most at work?
- When you were a child, what were your goals when you grew up?
- What do you like most about work?
- If not for money, but you still want to work, what job would you dream of?
Step 9. Find out why you are both in the same place
If it's your first time meeting him, there's a lot that hasn't been revealed as to why the two of you could meet at the same event. Try asking the following questions:
- How is your relationship with the invitee?
- How are you involved in this activity? (Or, if relevant) In this charity work? In this triathlon race?
- How do you manage time to be involved in this activity?
Step 10. Give sincere compliments
Praise him for what he does, not about him so you can continue the conversation by asking about his skills. If you tell your interlocutor that her eyes are beautiful, she will thank you and the conversation can end here. Show enthusiasm when praising to make your compliment feel genuine. Try asking the following questions:
- I love listening to you play the piano. How long have you been studying?
- You look very confident when giving a speech. How long did it take you to prepare a presentation as good as this?
- Your ability to run is amazing. How many times do you train in a week?
Part 2 of 3: Continuing the Conversation
Step 1. Just relax
Don't expect a miracle to happen the first time you interact with someone. You can only hope for a good relationship by talking about interesting and fun topics. Include a little humor in the conversation too.
- Don't talk about your problems or other negative things. If you've ever seen teary eyes while discussing the topic, it's because the other person is reluctant to bring up difficulties or problems in casual conversation.
- People usually prefer to discuss topics that are polite, interesting, and happy, while the insertion of negative stories really spoils the mood and interrupts the conversation.
Step 2. Pause for a moment
Silence doesn't have to make you feel awkward because you can form an opinion about this person or think about other topics that they enjoy. At this point, both of you can breathe and rest for a while.
Silence can make things feel awkward if you're nervous or trying to work through it because you're worried about the situation
Step 3. Find out common interests
If you both like running, for example, discuss this shared interest at length. At some point, however, you'll have to move on from this topic because talking about running for 45 minutes can be awkward for a lot of people.
- Discuss people who share similar interests and their successes. For example, you both know the winner of a past marathon and you could talk about his life since winning the race.
- Talk about new gear, new equipment, new insights, new tactics, etc. related to shared interests.
- Suggest new things the two of you can do, perhaps by setting up an appointment to try new things together.
Part 3 of 3: Breaking Boundaries
Step 1. Bring up a new topic to lead the conversation by guessing
At first, this may seem foreign, but give it a try and you'll see the conversation turn out to be more interesting. There are some questions that prompt people to think to further inspire conversation:
- Of all that you have accomplished to date, what is the most important to you/beneficial to your community?
- If you had to choose between being rich, famous, or influential, which would you choose and why?
- Is this moment the best time of your life?
- If there were only 10 things you could have, what would you want?
- If only five kinds of food and two kinds of drink were available in your life, what would you choose?
- Do you believe that people create their own happiness or just get it?
- What would you do if you could wear a cloak so you wouldn't be seen?
- Do you believe in free will?
- What animal would you choose if one could turn you into an animal?
- Who is your favorite hero and why?
- Name five people you would like to invite for a romantic dinner at your home?
- If tomorrow you won a billion rupiah lottery, what would you like to use that money for?
- If you could be famous in a week, how would you want to be known? (Or who is your favorite celebrity?)
- Do you still believe in Santa Claus?
- Can you live without the internet?
- What would your dream vacation be like?
Step 2. Pay attention to topics that get good responses during the conversation
Repeat how to "win" this conversation over and over again as long as it's still useful for you.
Keep in mind any topics that make other people uncomfortable or bored and don't discuss these topics again
Step 3. Read the news about recent events
Try to find out what's going on in everyday life and ask his opinion about major incidents that have just been reported (but remember, don't talk about politics).
Remember a funny story that made you both laugh to remind the other person of a funny story he just read
Step 4. Get in the habit of speaking straightforwardly
Knowing the right topic is an important aspect of a good conversation, but how you address this topic during a conversation is also crucial. Try to discuss certain topics straight to the point, don't talk in circles without a clear direction.
Don't discuss certain topics while rambling on so as not to offend the other person as this can make you lose your mind
Tips
- If you are in a group, make sure that everyone feels included. The situation will feel awkward if you are only talking to one person and let the others just sit back and watch your conversation.
- Listening carefully to the answers to your questions and trying to make connections with your own experiences can bring up other topics to continue the conversation. If the two of you are chatting for the first time, choose a topic that relates to the current situation, rather than bringing up random topics.
- Think before you speak. You can no longer take back what you have said to others. People will also remember what you said to them. So don't be rude, unless you want them to remember you this way.
- The best way to keep the conversation balanced is to take turns asking questions. Don't look at it like a quiz or competition to see who asks the best question, but to keep the conversation going without anyone dominating.
- If the two of you are meeting for the first time, don't be sarcastic, even if the person you're talking to is scornful. Show that you are smart. Nobody likes sarcasm. Show hospitality and never insult anyone.
- Don't just ask the questions above without thinking. This method makes the other person feel interrogated. Think of another way out of the ordinary.
- Follow the news about recent events. Get in the habit of reading newspapers and looking for today's interesting news on trusted social sites.
- Do not answer with just one word, such as "yes", "no", and "okay" because this can hinder the conversation.
- When you meet new people, memorize their names! Remembering names sounds easy, but it's so easy to forget. Say his name silently five times in a row as he introduces himself.
Related article
- How to Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing To Talk
- How to Have a Good Conversation
- How to speak intelligently
