Conversation is a very important skill at every stage of life, from childhood, adulthood, to old age. Learning how to communicate effectively so that other people feel valued is one thing that is very beneficial for yourself. The good news, improving the ability to communicate is not impossible. By learning some easy tips and these examples, you can start a conversation with confidence.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Start Conversations the Smart Way
Step 1. Be an active listener
Many people do not know how important it is to listen and pay attention in order to become a skilled conversationalist. In fact, it may be the most important thing that enables you to have a good conversation. You must do the following two important things in order to “actively listen”:
- Concentrate on what the other person has to say. This requires mental action, not just listening to what other people have to say. You should get used to thinking about what the other person wants to say while he or she is talking. At first, concentrating like this can cause mental fatigue, but it gets easier with more practice.
- Show that you are listening. This requires more physical action. Look at the person who is talking to show concern. Nod your head as a sign that you understand what he is saying. Say "yes" every now and then as a sign that you agree and ask relevant questions.
Step 2. Get the other person to start the conversation
You'll have a hard time developing conversational skills if you keep waiting for someone else to talk to you. Leave your comfort zone confidently and start conversing with other people to improve your skills faster. Start conversing with people you know by simply asking "How are you?"
- Once you are able to have conversations with friends and family members, go to places where people usually meet, such as cafes, clubs, large events (parties or community gatherings with a large number of people), etc.
- Inviting others to conversations by saying, “Hi, my name is…! What is your name?" or start the conversation by discussing something specific, for example, “Wow, your shirt is so cool! Where to buy?" or “Wow, looks like we're both fans of bands/shows/books/something that looks on her clothes!”
Step 3. Ask more about this person
Everyone likes certain things, so you can ask him the things he seems to like after starting the conversation. Ask if you don't already know what he likes! Continue the conversation by asking appropriate questions, for example, “Please tell me how it started when you liked this activity/thing?”
After asking him if he likes something and only saying "No, it's a gift from a friend" or "It just looks cool", it looks like you're out of luck. However, you can explain what you know about the things that show up on her clothes and why you like them
Step 4. Imitate a conversation you've overheard
People who are good at conversation usually have learned from the best. In order to meet people who have these skills, listen to recordings of their conversations, find informative seminars that you enjoy, or participate in discussion forums. While this activity is more about reading than speaking, you can develop both of these skills at the same time.
Pay close attention to the dynamics of the other person's conversation. Observe when the speaker changes, usually during a pause or after someone has finished saying a sentence, thought, or argument. You can also detect someone who wants to give the other person a chance to speak through their tone of voice. Listen carefully to the tone at the end of the sentence and see if other people do the same
Step 5. End the conversation before you are forced to stop
You have to be good at closing conversations because people tend to remember what happened last. The best way to quickly end the conversation politely is when you start to feel awkward, even long ago. Say there is something you need to do or give another reason, such as “I want to get a drink”, “I have to go again”, or “I have to take care of something.”
If the conversation is going well, take this opportunity to pick it up another time, for example by saying, “Well, I have to go, but I still want to talk. May I have your contact number?"
Step 6. Practice
Conversation won't get any better if it's not practiced. Go to social events and talk to people you don't know. One-time activities can be a great place to start because you don't have to worry about running into the same people if you make a mistake. Groups that do weekly or monthly activities can be very helpful once you feel more comfortable. In addition to developing conversational skills, your frequent interactions can build and maintain friendships.
Once you've made some new friends, try to watch them talk during conversations while focusing on the skills you want to learn. Build friendships and gain more experience by trying to identify conversation patterns, understand how to connect the flow of conversation, and comment on important topics
Method 2 of 2: Have a Regular Conversation
Step 1. Open a conversation
To start a conversation, all you have to do is say, "Hey, how are you?", for example. These are opening sentences and questions that the interlocutor can respond to. In addition, you can also overcome the awkwardness that often arises from waiting for someone else to speak and make it easier for you to continue the conversation.
Be prepared because after the conversation begins, the other person may ask you back about the fun things you did
Step 2. Prepare some light topics first for discussion
It's a good idea to prepare a question or two beforehand. That way, you don't waste time just thinking during the conversation. Choose a topic of interest and easy for the interlocutor to respond. Ask questions about certain things that he clearly enjoys. If not, provide feedback on ongoing activities and ask him for input.
Step 3. Continue the conversation
After there is progress, continue the conversation by commenting on the things being discussed and then asking for input from the interlocutor. As the conversation progresses, you will get to know this person better. It will be easier for you to start a more natural conversation and look for an opening topic at a later time.
Step 4. Avoid awkward pauses in conversation
Change the topic or end the conversation if it starts to feel awkward because the conversation has stopped. Therefore, try to prevent this problem from the start so you don't have to be confused about how to end it. If you have to deal with this situation, calm down and ask the usual questions, such as about his family, movies that are currently playing, or where he lives. These topics can free you from feeling awkward.
Remember that you can always say goodbye if things get a little more awkward
Tips
- Get into the habit of smiling, especially at the first meeting. Don't smile widely, but just smile friendly, polite, and seem shy. Smiling can also improve your mood and make it seem like you're willing to make friends, making it easier to strike up a good conversation.
- Look at the person you are talking to. The habit of looking down can be hard to break, but try to show people that you're really paying attention.
