A funeral is a time of mourning, and you should honor the moment by wearing appropriate clothing. Clothing worn to attend funerals is generally dark in color, with a conservative design. Choose dark, simple clothes, and a few accessories. In some situations, the deceased's family may ask the mourners to wear clothes of a certain color. In situations like this, you can wear clothes that are contrary to the etiquette of mourning that is generally accepted in society. The wishes of the deceased's family should always be the most important thing you think about when you pay your respects.
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Part 1 of 3: Choosing the Right Type of Clothing
Step 1. Choose black or dark clothes
Usually, the clothes worn to attend funerals are black. However, not everyone follows this tradition in particular. It's not uncommon for people to dress in dark colors, such as dark gray or navy blue, to funerals. If you don't want to wear black, make sure you choose something dark and somber.
- Stick to dark, neutral colors if you want to choose clothes in a color other than black. Dark blue, dark gray, dark green, and brown can be the right color choices.
- However, make sure you understand the funeral procession that will be held before choosing an outfit. For traditional funerals, it's best to "play it safe" and wear black.
Step 2. Avoid bright colors
Never wear light-colored clothes to a funeral. Primary colors like blue, red, and yellow can be considered offensive or disrespectful. In some cultures, the color red is considered a sign of celebration. Therefore, it's a good idea not to wear clothes with bright colors, especially red.
- Bright colors shouldn't be part of an outfit to wear to a funeral. For example, a black dress with pink stripes on the bottom, or a black suit paired with a red shirt might not be appropriate to wear to a funeral.
- However, there are exceptions regarding clothing color and in some situations (which is quite rare). Sometimes, family members of the deceased ask the mourners to wear bright colors, or certain colors, in honor of the deceased. If the situation is like this, always follow the wishes of the family.
Step 3. Continue to wear formal clothes, unless the family determines another type of clothing
Funerals are usually a moment of mourning. Therefore, wear what you normally wear to a job interview rather than what you wear to a party or to a nightclub. In certain situations, the family may ask the mourners to wear less formal attire as a form of respect for the deceased. However, if there are no special provisions, still wear formal clothes.
- A black, dark gray, or navy suit can be a good choice. Ties and pants worn must also be dark in color. You can also wear a dark shirt and tie.
- Women are advised to wear long dresses or skirts when attending funerals. Avoid clothes that are too tight because they seem more casual than formal. A dark blouse or dress pants can also be a good choice.
Step 4. Pay attention to the length of your sleeves
Generally, you shouldn't wear revealing clothes to a funeral. Therefore, it's a good idea not to wear sleeveless clothes, or clothes with very short sleeves. Instead, choose long-sleeved clothes. If you have a sleeveless black dress that you want to wear, you can cover the sleeves with a scarf or shrug (a type of bolero).
Step 5. Choose clothes in plain colors instead of patterned clothes
In fact, you can wear a patterned outfit to a funeral as long as the pattern doesn't stand out too much. A floral patterned skirt, or a dark striped skirt is considered appropriate to be worn to a funeral. However, bright, shiny shades should be avoided, especially if they have a bright color. For example, a black skirt with a red polka dot was deemed inappropriate to wear to a funeral.
As before, remember to respect the wishes of the family. In some situations, the family may ask the mourners to wear clothes with a certain pattern
Part 2 of 3: Choosing Accessories
Step 1. Choose shoes that are formal, but still comfortable
This is especially important if you are attending a funeral or burial, before or after visiting a funeral home. There is a chance that you will be standing or walking a lot during the procession so make sure you are wearing comfortable shoes. High heels, for example, are considered less than ideal. Make sure you still wear formal, dark-colored shoes.
- Dress shoes or black flat heels can be the right choice. In addition, flat heels or dress shoes in dark green, dark blue, gray, or black can also be suitable choices.
- If the funeral procession isn't too formal, you can wear dark tennis shoes or sneakers. However, you should still wear formal shoes.
Step 2. Choose a tie with a conservative design
If you want to wear a tie, make sure to wear a tie with a simple design. Generally, ties with bright colors and shiny patterns should be avoided. For the best option, try wearing a single color tie, or a tie without a pattern. Make sure you also choose a tie in a dark color, such as dark green, dark blue, or gray.
However, there are some exceptions to this. If you have, say, the unique tie your deceased gave you, your family will appreciate it if you wear it. Of course, you need to check and notify the family in advance so that when you arrive and wear the tie, there will be no misunderstanding with the family
Step 3. Put on makeup that doesn't stand out
If you want to wear make-up, make sure you don't wear too much make-up for a funeral. Generally, funerals are formal events. Just as you shouldn't wear bold or dramatic make-up to work, you shouldn't wear that kind of make-up to a funeral either.
- The use of foundation (thin only) and pale lipstick or dark cream (nude lipstick) can be the best choice. If you want, put on some blush, as well as some eye shadow and mascara.
- As usual, there may be certain exceptions, depending on the wishes of the deceased's family. For example, if you are attending the funeral of someone who previously worked in the theater, the family might ask the mourners to put on some festive theatrical make-up.
Step 4. Choose simple jewelry
If you are in doubt when it comes to choosing the right piece of jewelry, it's a good idea not to wear any jewelry at all when attending a funeral. In fact, such an appearance makes your clothes look more “dull”. However, if you want to wear jewelry, choose simple jewelry. Pearl necklaces are more appropriate than necklaces with large pendants or brightly colored pendants.
If you want to wear earrings, choose the right earrings. Earrings with a large swinging pendulum or large ring earrings are too flashy to wear to a funeral. Instead of choosing earrings like that, you can wear earring (stud earring)
Step 5. Choose a pocket handkerchief of the appropriate color
If you want to complete the suit with a pocket handkerchief, make sure you choose a dark colored handkerchief. Choose colors like dark blue, dark green, and gray. Generally, a light colored pocket handkerchief (eg pink) is considered unsuitable as a funeral attire.
Part 3 of 3: Considering Other Factors
Step 1. Consider the family's religion or beliefs
If the deceased's family is holding a religious procession or funeral ceremony, there may be certain rules regarding the clothes that can be worn. Make sure you know the religion or beliefs of the family from the start and do a brief search of information about the funeral procession in that religion or belief. Find out if there are any special regulations regarding the clothes mourners wear at funerals. You must always respect the religion of the deceased.
- For example, some religions require women to wear very modest and discreet clothing at funeral processions. Therefore, you should not attend a funeral in a dress or skirt that is too short.
- Look for information about religious rituals on the internet. However, it is generally better if you ask the family of the deceased directly. They can give the best instructions regarding how to dress for a funeral (according to their religion).
Step 2. Think about the customs or customs of different cultures
If the deceased is from a different cultural background than you, different colors of clothing may be more appropriate. Although generally in western culture (in fact, in Indonesia itself in general), dark colored clothes are considered suitable to be worn to funerals, in other cultures dark colors may be viewed differently.
- In some cultures, bright colors are associated with mourning or mourning. For example, in Korea, blue is the color associated with mourning. Meanwhile in Egypt, Ethiopia, and Mexico, the color yellow is synonymous with mourning.
- In some Middle Eastern countries, the color white is synonymous with funerals and the nuances of mourning.
Step 3. Consider the weather
If you are having an outdoor funeral, make sure you consider the weather on the day. You may need to bring an umbrella, for example, in case it rains, or a coat if the weather is cold. Make sure the items are also the right color or design to take to the funeral.
- Even when you bring items like raincoats and umbrellas, remember that you will be attending a funeral. A bright pink umbrella is definitely not suitable for taking to a funeral. Generally, a black umbrella or dark raincoat is the best option you can bring.
- Stick to a dark coat or jacket. It may be considered rude to attend an outdoor funeral while wearing a white coat.
Step 4. Follow the wishes of the deceased
You should always respect the last special wishes of the deceased, even if they seem "unusual". If the family asks the mourners to dress in a special color or pattern to the funeral, try to accommodate the request. If the family is holding an unusual procession in honor of the deceased, of course you need to follow what the family expects, and not the traditional etiquette that usually applies.
Tips
- If you're not sure, ask the family of the deceased about the appropriate dress code, or ask someone else if the clothes you will wear feel appropriate and polite.
- At very conservative funerals, women can wear a simple formal hat.
- The family may want to hold a more festive gathering. If the family is hosting such an event, and you're not familiar with the event, don't hesitate to ask about appropriate and polite attire to wear to the event.
Warning
- It is recommended that you use waterproof mascara and a little eye shadow/shadow only.
- Give your seat or umbrella to older guests or women with young children.
- Wearing high heels can make it difficult for you to attend funerals outdoors and in grassy areas, especially if it's been raining recently.
