Herpes is a disease that affects many people. In the US, 1 in 6 people between the ages of 14-49 has genital herpes, and this figure is higher in some other countries. If you have herpes, it will stay with you for the rest of your life. However, that doesn't mean your life will get worse. Everyone has physical flaws, and yours just happens to be herpes. The best way to come to terms with this virus is to accept the facts, and get in the habit of controlling herpes symptoms to improve your quality of life.
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Method 1 of 2: Dealing with a Herpes Diagnosis
Step 1. Accept the fact that you have herpes
Accepting reality will enable you to move on with your life. Research shows that people with herpes who are able to accept the situation have a better quality of life. This means that you accept the fact that you have herpes and this needs to be stated. It takes time to go through the acceptance process. Many people refuse to admit their illness or go on living as if they don't have herpes. This denial will only make things worse.
- If you find out you have herpes and keep it a secret from your partner, not only will your relationship be damaged, but you could also be sued for negligence or personal injury. You don't have to be embarrassed about having herpes, but you still need to be honest with your partner so you can make the right decisions and protect each other's health.
- Write or verbalize all your negative feelings and thoughts about herpes. Then, challenge the origin of all these negative feelings and replace them with positive thoughts.
- Focus on the present. Don't think about the worst-case scenario or drown in your negative emotions. Instead of saying "My life is ending because of herpes," try saying, "I'm still alive, even though I have herpes," or, "I'm more than just a herpes sufferer."
Step 2. Redefine normal things
You will need to make some changes in your life that may be difficult at first. However, know that your life doesn't have to change dramatically. You can still do the things you want. You may have to take medication every day and deal with it when you have a relapse, but for the rest your life will continue as normal.
Get on with your life. make sure you do what you love and spend time with family and friends. Do simple things, like take a walk, or read a book to feel positive about yourself
Step 3. Talk to a trusted person
When we have problems, we often lock ourselves away. This will make the problem worse. Talking to a trusted person who cares about you can be very helpful. This person may be a friend, family, partner, or therapist.
- You are still the same person, even after the herpes diagnosis. People don't stop loving you just because you have herpes.
- It may take some time for you to comfortably talk about your diagnosis with others. Talk about it when you're ready.
Step 4. Realize that herpes is common
Lots of people in the US have contracted herpes. Most people with herpes have no symptoms or only mild symptoms. Perhaps, you even know someone else who has herpes. Know that you are not alone.
Step 5. Forgive yourself
You will go through various emotions after being diagnosed with herpes. Many people are distrustful, angry, resentful, or ashamed. All these feelings are normal, but you have to acknowledge and deal with them. Keeping those feelings under control will cause stress, which can exacerbate the outbreak and increase the pain.
- You can never blame yourself if you catch a cold or flu. Anyone can catch herpes, and don't burden yourself with it. You're not an idiot, and herpes can't define your life.
- Think about how you would respond to a friend who admits they have herpes. Forgive yourself and treat yourself with compassion.
- Write down exactly what you want to forgive in order to vent your anger. Tear or burn letters that symbolize your vent.
Step 6. Forgive the other person
It's normal to feel disappointed in someone who has spread herpes and you may be wondering if the person who transmitted it knows that he or she has herpes. Most people with herpes are not aware that they have contracted this virus. Sorry it's all about you and no one else. Holding on to anger and hatred will only hurt yourself and not the infector. You have to be able to forgive others, even if it feels very hard.
- Acknowledge any anger or hatred you feel. Talk or write down how you feel. Try writing a letter to the herpes giver to pour your heart out, then burn the letter. Burning a letter is a symbol of venting your anger and hatred.
- If you're having trouble forgiving, ask a therapist to help you work through your feelings.
Step 7. Seek professional help
If you can't deal with the emotional effects of herpes alone, see a therapist or counselor. Cognitive behavioral stress management, progressive muscle relaxation, and group therapy have been shown to help control herpes.
- Professional therapists can help you fight loneliness and improve your mood. Group therapy will also introduce you to fellow herpes sufferers.
- Cognitive behavioral stress management will help you focus on how your thoughts affect your emotions and behavior. This therapy can help you feel more energized and improve your immune function.
Step 8. Join a support group
Support groups are a safe place to share your feelings and learn from fellow herpes sufferers. Support groups can be found online or in person. Ask your doctor if he or she knows of a support group you can join.
Method 2 of 2: Controlling Herpes
Step 1. See a medical professional
Your doctor can help figure out the best way to control herpes. In this way, you can feel in control of your illness. talk to your doctor about your concerns and how they affect your daily life.
Step 2. Reduce stress
Research has shown a link between increased stress and outbreaks. This creates a bad cycle because herpes outbreaks can cause severe stress.
- Deep breathing, yoga, meditation, and walking are also great for reducing stress. Find an activity that you enjoy to ease your mind. Practice stress management regularly and try to include it in your daily life.
- Getting enough sleep is also important to reduce stress.
Step 3. Treat
Although there is no cure for herpes, there are medications to control the symptoms. These drugs can speed wound healing, reduce the intensity and frequency of outbreaks, and minimize the possibility of transmission to other people. Drugs that are usually used by people with herpes are Acyclovir, Famciclovir, and Valacyclovir.
The doctor will tell you how many times the medicine should be taken. Some sufferers only take medicine when symptoms appear, but there are also those who take medicine every day
Step 4. Tell your sexual partner
You should make sure your current and future sexual partners are aware of your illness. Communicate in a private place before the conversation heats up and gets heavy.
- Start the conversation with, “I have something to say. Turns out, I was diagnosed with herpes. This disease is quite common, but I want us to talk about safe sex…”
- In addition, your new partner should be tested for the virus before having sex. It's possible that your partner has it too, but you don't know.
- Some people have a negative reaction when they find out you have herpes. Don't get defensive and let the other person calm down first, and explain your herpes. The person may or may not accept it. Make sure you understand whatever the decision.
- Your honesty about herpes will help build a trusting relationship.
Tips
- Except during an outbreak, herpes doesn't necessarily prevent you from having sex. Herpes is a minor skin problem and will not affect your sex life.
- Take a yoga, taici, or qigong class. Hit a sandbag or play tennis, badminton or squash. Exercise will relieve your stress.
- Get a prescription from the doctor. Herpes is usually not medically important and often causes nothing.
- Limit consumption of sugary drinks and fatty foods.
- Keep your caffeine and alcohol consumption in check.
- Anti-inflammatory drugs (such as ibuprofen) have been shown to decrease sensitivity to viral pain in sensitive areas, such as the anus and vagina. Although symptoms usually don't go away right away, these medications can help with pain.
