Living in peace means living in harmony with oneself, others, and all beings in the universe. Although everyone is free to interpret and realize peace according to their respective beliefs and traditions, there are some basic things that apply universally, namely rejecting violence, being tolerant, having wise views, and upholding a dignified life. This article explains how to create peace, but you are the only person responsible for the journey and the way of life that leads you to a peaceful life.
Step
Step 1. Know that peace involves both external and internal aspects
Although it is difficult to define, the simplest meaning of peace is a life free from violence (physical, mental, spiritual, or in other aspects of life), mutual respect, and upholding tolerance which is experienced internally and manifested in everyday life.
- External aspect: respect and love for others regardless of differences in culture, religion, and political views.
- Internal aspect: everyone needs peace that can be felt if their life is free from violence because they are able to understand and overcome fear, anger, intolerance, and social inability. Life will continue to be turbulent if inner turmoil continues to be ignored.
Step 2. Cultivate the ability to love unconditionally, instead of wanting to control other people
The first and foremost step to experiencing a peaceful life is to get rid of the desire to control other people and their consequences. One way to control other people is to impose your will and demand that others understand you. Even if you mean well, it makes the other person feel controlled and creates an imbalance that triggers anger, hurt, and disappointment. The controlling behavior of others puts you in frequent conflict. Before expecting change, seek to understand others, accept differences by being tolerant, persuasive, and show inspiring leadership to build good relationships, instead of trying to control others. However, don't be a person who is always belittled, easily influenced, or taken advantage of.
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Prioritize peace, not power. Gandhi proved that power based on love is more effective and permanent than power gained through punishment.
- For example: controlling others by threatening through behavior, attitudes, or actions will provoke violence that leads to disappointment and anger. This method does not bring peace in everyday life because the "right" way for one person is not necessarily pleasant for another. The condition will be different if we respect and love each other.
- Another example: some teachers still use punishment to maintain order in the classroom. Another teacher gave appreciation to students who behaved well so that they felt more valued and motivated. Both teach in quiet classrooms, but which class is more attractive to students and more conducive to learning?
- Learn the skills to negotiate, resolve conflict, and communicate assertively. Having constructive communication skills is one way to prevent and resolve conflicts with others. Conflict isn't always bad and shouldn't be avoided if you know how to deal with it. Follow these suggestions if you want to improve your communication skills. A clearly conveyed message plays an important role in creating peace because misunderstandings tend to trigger a lot of conflict.
- When communicating with others, do not order, judge, demand, threaten, or ask barrage of questions for information. This will cause conflict because it makes the other person feel controlled, rather than as an equal interlocutor.
- Believe that the people around you are capable of living an equally good life. Giving advice can be a way of controlling others if it's done to interfere with their lives, instead of simply giving a point of view without having to do it. Swedish diplomat Dag Hammerskjold said: "It's easier to answer if you don't know the question". We often advise others with the assumption that we fully understand the problem they are facing, but we don't necessarily know and we usually understand the problem based on our experiences. It's much better if you value her abilities and are ready to help, rather than providing answers based on your experience. This will bring peace, respect, and confidence in the other person's abilities, rather than making the other person feel disappointed, judged, and belittled.
Step 3. Think carefully about your beliefs
The habit of thinking absolutes and holding on to certain beliefs without trying to understand other people's considerations and perspectives makes you uncomfortable. Extremists who have this mindset tend to be reactive, impulsive, and easily influenced because they are unable to reflect and think consciously. Although absolute beliefs make you feel good, they prevent you from seeing the realities of life and tend to cause conflict if others oppose your beliefs. Even if it is difficult, open your horizons and try to review your understanding to develop yourself and enjoy a harmonious life with others.
- Consider your beliefs by asking questions and reflecting. Accept the fact that everyone may have a different belief, faith, love, or opinion. Implement a life ethic of self-respect and mutual respect by believing in a universal truth called the Golden Rule: “treat others as they would like to be treated”.
- Distract yourself with various activities if you start to think negatively about other people. Self-control is not easy when you are very busy and have to deal with many people with different personalities.
- Be a person of humor. Peace lovers attract others because they have a sense of humor, but fanatics lose their sense of humor because they are only busy thinking about themselves and the problems they face. Humor helps you relieve tension and is able to show the repressive tendencies of extreme-minded people.
Step 4. Be tolerant
Your daily life and those around you will be different if you behave and behave tolerantly to others. Tolerance means respecting differences, accepting plurality in modern society, and letting others determine their own way of life. The inability to tolerate the beliefs, existence, and opinions of others will lead to discrimination, oppression, dehumanization, and acts of violence. You have to be tolerant in order to enjoy peace.
- Instead of creating negative perceptions of other people, change your perspective and focus on the good in the other person. That way, you can change the way they see themselves. For example: instead of thinking someone is stupid or incompetent, start seeing them as smart, kind, and intelligent. This makes him feel appreciated and motivated to show that positive side. You can make a big difference in someone's life by seeing them as attractive, special, and caring, instead of seeing them as arrogant, grumpy, and boring.
- Read the wikiHow “How to Be Tolerant of Others” for some advice on how to be tolerant in everyday life.
Step 5. Be a peaceful person
Gandhi said: "There are many reasons that I prepare for death, but I have no reason to kill." A peaceful person never does violence to other people and other living beings. Since the world is full of violence, don't choose a philosophy that supports a way of living life by killing other beings.
- Even if other people try to convince you that violence is okay, reject that belief and defend yours. If there are certain people who ask you to ignore the victims of conflict, realize that this attitude is unacceptable because a wrong vision of conflict costs many people their lives, parents and homes. Former United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, Mary Robinson, said: “People living in conflict zones long for peace, even if it's just for one day. Their desire made me determined to stop the violence.” Even though many people are involved in acts of violence, realize that everyone rejects it and longs for a peaceful life.
- For you to feel at peace, keep loving the abuser. Criminals should feel loved because we are all fellow human beings, even though society imprisons, tortures, and commits violence in prisons and in everyday life. Strive to apply the principles of justice and equality in public life to set a real example through action, instead of just talking.
- Don't watch violent movies, read articles about violence, and listen to songs with hateful or insulting lyrics.
- Get in the habit of looking at pictures, listening to music, and hanging out with people who make you feel at peace.
- Explore the possibility of becoming a vegetarian or vegan as a way of survival. For peace lovers, violence against animals is not a way of living a peaceful life. Seek information on the treatment of farmed, hunted, and experimental animals in the pharmaceutical industry. Learn about vegetarian and vegan lifestyles to form your beliefs about living things. Align the insights you gain through research with your desire to live a peaceful life.
Step 6. Reflect
Reflecting is one way of controlling the mind. Impulsive responses often lead to tragic consequences because the perpetrator does not have time to consider all aspects and points of view. Sometimes, we do have to act immediately to save ourselves, but that reason cannot be used in every situation because often, it would be much better if we responded with full awareness and careful consideration.
- If someone hurts you physically and mentally, don't be angry or rude to them. Calm yourself and think about the response that will bring you peace.
- Ask him to stop being violent and think. Explain that anger and violence cannot solve problems. Say: "Don't hurt other people." Stay away if he is still violent.
- Control yourself. If you feel the urge to react impulsively to get angry, frustrated, or irritated, try to control it. Stay away from situations that leave you confused and unable to reflect. By calming down, you have the opportunity to deal with your anger and consider wise solutions, including choosing to do nothing.
- Learn to listen reflectively. People who experience stress tend to cover up the things they really want to say. John Powell said: “Hearing wholeheartedly means finding the hidden meaning and capturing the message you want to convey in order to understand the person who is speaking. When listening to someone say, try to understand what they really want to convey verbally and non-verbally.” One of the important aspects of experiencing a peaceful life is the ability to listen to others reflectively, that is, the ability to explore and understand the true meaning of what he or she is saying, instead of understanding other people according to personal opinions. Thus, the response you give is not only the result of inferring and guessing based on what you hear and not necessarily true, but through a process of giving and receiving by communicating effectively.
Step 7. Learn to forgive, don't hold grudges
What's the point of getting revenge? If we are willing to learn from history, revenge will only bring prolonged suffering in vain. Remember that as fellow human beings, we all have ambitions and dream of a happy life with family. Differences in culture, religion, and political views should not trigger conflicts that cause sadness and destruction. Desire to hurt others or get revenge for feeling wronged or mistreated only triggers anger, violence, and suffering. Replace that desire with a willingness to forgive so you can enjoy a peaceful life.
- Live in the present, instead of dwelling on the past. Reminiscing about past experiences and thinking about old wounds means continuing to regret the negative things that have passed and maintaining an inner conflict. Forgiveness means giving yourself a chance to live fully in the present, let go of the past, and hope for the best in the future. Forgiveness is the greatest victory because you can return to enjoying life after making peace with the past.
- Forgiveness is a way to make yourself happy and free yourself from anger. Forgiveness is an ability that you acquire as you learn to deal with the negative emotions that arise when someone makes you angry or upset by being aware of those feelings instead of holding them back. Forgiveness is an opportunity for empathy so you can understand the motives underlying someone's actions. However, forgiving does not mean agreeing to what he did.
- Realize that hiding anger out of a desire to respect the other person is an insult. It robs someone of the independence you should be defending by talking and reacting to negative actions. In addition to making him helpless, these reasons actually support his guilt. If someone's self-esteem is lowered, allow him to state his position and make up again by forgiving and understanding each other.
- Even if you can't forgive, there's no reason to be violent. Instead, try to keep your distance and keep improving.
Step 8. Find inner peace
You will always have conflict if you go through life without inner peace. The pursuit of material things or increasing social status without ever appreciating the inner aspect is a source of suffering. The desire to have something that is not fulfilled will lead to conflict. Many people forget to be grateful for the things they have because they prioritize material, career, and daily needs. As a result, they will experience conflict and do not feel at peace because they “have to” meet demands due to the large number of materials that need to be cleaned and maintained, insured and secured.
- Set priorities and choose the things that make your life better and more beautiful at the expense of others.
- If you're angry, find a quiet place to be alone while breathing deeply and relaxing. Turn off the TV, phone, and computer so you can cool off. Play some soft music or turn off the lights. Once you have calmed down, resume your activities. If necessary, get some fresh air or take a long walk while enjoying the beauty of nature.
- Take 10 minutes to cool off at least once a day. Sit in a quiet, distraction-free place, such as under a shady tree or on a quiet patio.
- A peaceful life means a better life than just a nonviolent life. Try to create peace in all aspects of life by reducing stress. As much as possible, avoid stressful situations, for example: traffic jams, crowds, etc.
Step 9. Enjoy happiness
Focus on the awesome as a way to prevent violence. Something beautiful, awesome, amazing, and happy makes people not want to do violence. The greatest suffering that triggers violence is caused by a loss of awareness of guilt, kindness, and the joys of life. The happiness you feel from always having a positive view of others and being grateful makes your life feel peaceful.
- Don't sabotage your right to be happy. Eliminate negative thoughts that are preventing you from achieving happiness, such as feeling that you don't deserve to be happy, worrying about how other people will think your life will be, and worrying about bad things that might happen if happiness ends.
- Do the things you love. Life is more than just work. Even if you have to work to earn an income, try to achieve the life goals you dream of. Thich Nhat Hanh advised: “Don't do work that endangers human life and nature. Do not invest in companies that threaten the survival of others. Choose a job that helps you live the life you desire.” Determine for yourself the meaning of the message and find a job that supports your desire to live a peaceful life.
Step 10. Change your life the way you want
This sentence is not just a message spoken by Gandhi, but a proactive call to action to make changes that bring peace in your daily life the way you want, for example by:
- Change yourself. Violence will continue to occur if this is accepted as a solution and is often considered unavoidable. So you are free to decide whether you want to stop the violence and feel peace. In order to live in peace, never harm any living being. Change yourself before changing others.
- Provide a solution. Be a person who is able to love others as they are. Let the other person be himself so he feels comfortable in your presence. Besides having lots of friends, they will appreciate you.
- Join and get involved in Peace One Day activities. Register online and make a commitment to celebrate the world day of peace, the international day of ceasefire and non-violence held by the United Nations every year on 21 September.
- Ask others for their opinion on peace. Discuss ways to create a peaceful life and accept differences without causing conflict, for example by uploading videos about peace to social media, writing stories, poems, or articles so that everyone understands the importance of peace.
- Sacrifice to help others. The most noble reason to prove that you want to create a peaceful life is to sacrifice yourself, not those who oppose your beliefs. Mahatma Gandhi left his profession as a lawyer in Durban, South Africa to live a simple life and feel the suffering of the poor and oppressed. He is admired by millions of people without using power over anyone other than showing altruism. You can also be a peacemaker by showing a willingness to sacrifice self-centered desires. Show that you don't put yourself first in order to move others, for example by volunteering.
- Create harmony in life by loving and bringing peace to everyone. Although this is difficult to do, Gandhi once proved that a man with a small stature who seemed fragile was able to create extraordinary masterpieces because of his persistence in fighting for peace by applying the principles of non-violence. Your participation is invaluable.
Step 11. Expand your understanding of peace
Everyone can make their own choices. Everything written in this article is only a suggestion, not a dogma to be adhered to. This post is not meant to influence your beliefs and should be considered as input. In the end, a peaceful life will be realized through daily actions. The actions you take are based on desire and understanding that resonates from all corners of the world, from everyone you meet and know, from your own awareness and knowledge. Live life in peace.
Never stop learning. This article only briefly discusses the needs of every human being which is very broad and unlimited. Read articles that discuss how to bring about peace, especially about activists and practitioners involved in the peace movement to expand knowledge. Share your knowledge with others to spread peace throughout the world
Tips
- Be prepared to accept the fact that some people are against you because they like to make things difficult for themselves. They are people who need affection, rather than being feared or hated, but you don't need to fit in or befriend them. Treat these people by being polite, assertive, and friendly.
- Asking for approval from others is not the right way to live because you are forced to do what they want and your life never settles down. Instead, learn to accept yourself as you are and live a more meaningful life by loving yourself and others.
- If you or your child is asked to conduct experiments at the expense of living beings, find another school that conducts the practicum in a more dignified manner.
Warning
- Study nutrition if you want to be a vegetarian or vegan because you have to know how to meet your nutritional needs just by eating vegetables.
- You will be enslaved or oppressed if you just give in. Many people adopt very aggressive ideologies or totalitarian systems. Their life looks peaceful, but it will be different if there is no strict supervision.
