Hoarding (also known as hoarding) is a clinical condition characterized by a person's inability to dispose of or separate from their belongings. This kind of behavior often causes problems for both the hoarder and his loved ones. Therefore, it is important for you to know that hoarding is not just collecting stuff, because the perpetrator shows an emotional attachment to the stuff he is hoarding. There's no one "right" way to deal with this disorder, but with empathetic and understanding conversation, you can help improve the hoarder's quality of life.
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Method 1 of 3: Helping Hoarders
Step 1. First identify hoarding behavior
People who stockpile excessively will store large quantities of items in an irregular manner (eg, in haphazard placement), which can create a hazardous living environment. Hoarders are often unable to dispose of any stored items, even items that no longer have economic value. They keep these items because they, in exaggeration, think that they may be needed again in the future.
- The rooms in the hoarder's house often can no longer be used for daily activities (for example, for sleeping or working) because these rooms have been filled with stockpiled items.
- Hoarders often collect newspapers, magazines, brochures, and other documents that contain certain information so that they can read and absorb the information contained in these print media at a later date. Unfortunately, many hoarders do not end up reading these print media.
- The hoarder shows a very strong emotional attachment to his belongings and feels that belonging can provide him with comfort and security. Therefore, losing the things in his possession could make him feel like he had lost half his soul.
Step 2. Understand the main issues that drive hoarding behavior
The reasons behind hoarding behavior vary from person to person, but generally hoarders continually show an emotional or psychological connection to the stuff they hoard. They are also often reluctant to think about or talk about these items.
Step 3. Check the condition of the hoarder frequently
If you don't live with the hoarder, make sure you visit him and socialize with him if you have time. At each visit, find out if his condition is improving or getting worse. In addition, evaluate whether the condition has provided a hazard to the hoarder or not.
Step 4. Identify the problem at hand
Many hoarders admit their hoarding behavior or just want to keep the things they have. Unfortunately, they do not understand the health and safety issues that can arise from such behavior. They may not perceive their behavior as a problem, and are often unaware of the impact their behavior has on others.
Step 5. Emphasize what concerns you in a nonjudgmental way
It's worth telling the hoarder about your concern for the hoarder's health and safety who may be at risk because of his behavior, but try not to sound judgmental. Try to focus on health risks that could threaten the hoarder, such as mold, dust, and the cleanliness of the living environment. You can also focus on the safety of the environment in which you live, such as the risk of fire and blocked escape routes.
- When talking to the hoarder, try not to focus too much on the stuff in the hoard. This can turn the hoarder on the defensive.
- For example, you could say “I care about you, and I care about your safety. Your apartment (or house) is now full of dust and mildew, and because of the piles of things everywhere, it is likely that it will be difficult for you to quickly and safely get out of your residence in case of an emergency.”
Step 6. Before providing assistance, first ask the hoarder for permission
You can make the hoarder anxious if you immediately arrange or dispose of stockpiled items without their permission. Therefore, reassure him that no one will enter his house and just throw away his things. Offer to help sort his belongings or ask a professional moving service provider for help. In the end, it is the hoarder who will decide what to do with the goods.
Try using the language or terms the hoarder uses to refer to his stockpile. If the hoarder refers to his stockpile as his collectibles or belongings, use the term so you don't sound like 'threatening' or cornering him
Step 7. Make a few statements about the things he owns
You can gather information about these items and try to help the hoarder by figuring out why he keeps the items and how he organizes their storage. Try to make the hoarder feel that he has complete control over his belongings. Remember, you are there to help, not to tell you what to do.
Some questions to ask are: “I noticed there were a lot of books in the hallway. Why did you put it there?” “I think these things can trip you up when you run in an emergency. Do you think there is another place to put these things?” “Do you have any ideas on how to make this room safer?”
Step 8. Help the hoarder to achieve his goals
These productive goals should focus on improving the quality of life of the hoarder, as well as increasing the functionality of the room. Make sure these goals are measurable.
- Don't make the main goal focus on the negative (e.g., getting rid of all the stuff that's piled up)
- Don't set vague goals like “keep the house clean and tidy.” A better goal, for example, would be to “clear up the hallway area and make all exits easy to access.”
- Start with the larger issues of health and safety, then focus on other smaller goals that can help improve the hoarder's quality of life.
Step 9. Avoid things that can make him anxious
It's important to be calm and patient when dealing with the hoarder. Keep in mind that this behavior is an emotional issue and, for the hoarder, simply cleaning the house won't solve the long-term problem. You also run the risk of breaking and losing the trust you have earned from the hoarder.
- Do not scold, force, or punish someone who has this behavior.
- Do not oppose or berate the hoarder. Instead, try to work with the hoarder to achieve the goals set.
Step 10. Praise the improvements
Whenever the hoarder makes an effort to improve the quality of his dwelling, give him praise. You may see a small area of his house that has been cleared of heaps of goods or, eventually, you may see a wall that was previously unseen due to obstructions. No matter how small the improvement is, it should be praised and a positive response from you.
Step 11. Find motivation to encourage the hoarder to improve
While it can sometimes be difficult to motivate someone, you may be able to find ways to get the hoarder motivated to want to improve. For example, you could suggest the hoarder throw a party or gathering at his house. This may encourage him to clean the environment in which he lives before the invited guests arrive.
Step 12. Develop a cleanup plan
A hoarder may not have the ability to organize and sort things well. If he feels open to getting your help, offer to help tidy up and sort out the stuff he's piled up. You may need to collect containers, shelves, cardboard, and labels before starting your cleaning plan.
- Start by setting up large cardboard boxes or plastic bags for stockpiled items and labeling each one with a “keep,” “throw away,” and “donate.” You may also need to set up an empty space to stack the items to sort while the hoarder decides where to put the items.
- Group similar items. By seeing one particular item in large quantities, the hoarder may find it easier to reduce the amount of that item. For example, if the hoarder has 100 boxes of tissue, he may be willing to reduce his 'collection' of tissue boxes to 50. Although small, this step can help.
- Categorize items into “want” and “don't want.” To make it easier for the hoarder to make a decision, you can start by collecting items you no longer want, such as expired food or dead plants.
- Discuss where to store items that will remain. The place may be a specific room or warehouse in the hoarder's home.
Step 13. Know the consequences of sustainable hoarding
The two main indications of this behavior are an inability to socialize or work, and an unsafe living environment. If the condition of the hoarder is left unchecked, his behavior can lead to an increasingly unsafe environment in which he lives. He can also experience health and financial problems, and strain relationships with others.
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Some of the specific hazards that can include:
- Obstruction of the way out of the house by piled up goods, making it very dangerous for the hoarder in the event of a fire, as well as violation of regulations related to construction
- Increased health risks due to the emergence of mold and dust that can harm the environment, as well as violations of health-related regulations
- Reduced self-cleaning habits due to inability to take care of oneself, such as bathing
- Increased self-isolation and avoidance of socializing
- Fragile family relationships, neglect of children, separation from family members or divorce.
Step 14. Keep the process running
Efforts to clean and organize a very large amount of heaps will definitely take a significant amount of time. The process is not something that can be done in one day. While this long process is going on, you still have to show efforts, although small but still persistent, to tidy up and clean the hoarder's house.
Method 2 of 3: Living with the Hoarder
Step 1. Know the difference between gathering and hoarding
Collectors or collectors are people who like to get certain items. They will often display these items neatly. Meanwhile, the hoarder keeps any items and, instead, builds a pile of dangerous stuff.
- People who collect a particular type of item-such as dolls, stamps, end tables, figurines, and the like-and arrange them neatly are not hoarders; they are collectors.
- Don't let your personal opinions and feelings about cleanliness, tidiness, and decisions about what items are important or not influence you to brand someone. You can't simply label someone as a hoarder just because of those personal opinions or personal feelings.
Step 2. Be patient
Living with a family member who has a hoarding behavior can be difficult because he or she may get angry whenever you try to clean or organize things in the house, especially when you ask them to help you tidy up and clean things up.
Step 3. Focus on affirming that the hoarder shares a place with you
You need to remind him that he lives in the same place as you. Emphasize to create a living environment that does not harm both parties and try not to separate his belongings from common rooms in your home (eg, family room).
Step 4. Try to compromise with it
If he insists that he needs to keep his things, try to set certain boundaries. You can emphasize that common rooms such as the family room or kitchen should be free of stuff that is piled up, then specify a specific room where he can store his belongings.
You can provide a special room to store his belongings while still expressing your concern about hoarding behavior and highlighting your need for a hoard-free living environment
Step 5. Don't just throw away the hoarder's stuff
Throwing away these items, even if you view them as trash, can cause a rift in your relationship with that family member. You can remove the trust you have instilled so that it can become more organized.
Method 3 of 3: Using the Help of Professional Services
Step 1. Identify the risk factors that lead to hoarding behavior
There are many complex factors that drive this behavior, but generally many hoarders share the same risk factors. Hoarders often have family members who are also hoarders, have suffered a brain injury, or have gone through a phase of life that has been particularly devastating (such as the death of someone they love). Some hoarding behavior also arises from mental health conditions that occur continuously, such as:
- worry
- trauma
- depression
- attention deficit disorder or hyperactivity
- alcohol addiction
- grew up in a chaotic family environment
- schizophrenia
- dementia
- excessive compulsive disorder
- personality disorder
Step 2. Offer outside assistance to assist in the cleaning process
The hoarder may feel emotional or embarrassed if he has to ask family members to help sort his belongings. Therefore, he may feel more open to getting help from outsiders-in this case, a professional freight forwarder.
Step 3. Encourage the hoarder to get into therapy
Cleaning alone will not necessarily solve most of these behavior-related problems. Those with these behaviors often need a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, skill building, and medication.
- One method of cognitive behavioral therapy used is called exposure and response prevention. This method trains therapy participants to be less susceptible to the things they fear, and reduces their response to those fears.
- Treatment for hoarders usually uses SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) antidepressant drugs. The drug is also used to treat people with obsessive compulsive disorder. Some of these medications include Anafranil, Zofran, Lexapro, Zoloft, Prozac, and Paxil.
Step 4. Invite them to join therapy together
If you live with the hoarder or the hoarder is a member of your family, both you and the hoarder may find it more comfortable to do therapy together, whether it's couples therapy, family therapy, or group therapy. Attending therapy together may encourage him to go to his therapy sessions.
Step 5. Call your doctor or mental health professional
You can get advice from a medical professional on the best way to treat the hoarder or convince him to go to therapy. Some regions also provide assistance to solve problems related to hoarding behavior or other mental health problems through the existence of public bodies dealing with mental health.
