No one person can be liked by everyone, but sometimes it is important for your social life or career to be more likeable. And this can happen. Channel your social jiujitsu masters skills and get almost everyone to like you. Becoming more likable, might as well be as easy as paying extra attention to their lives and interests!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Mastering Preferred Body Language
Step 1. Smile
The absolute easiest way to get people to like you is to smile sincerely. People crave being around other people who are fun and happy because it's contagious - you'll make them feel good just by showing up among them. Smiling is the first (and most obvious) indicator that you are the person they want to be with. Smile and you will succeed.
Remember, if you act like you're happy, you'll probably feel happier. Don't force a fake smile - other people can sense it - but know that if you're in a bad mood, sometimes pretending can trick your mind into feeling better
Step 2. Use a comfortable level of eye contact
This one hopefully comes naturally. Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to show someone you care. When you watch TV, you look at it, don't you? So when you're talking to someone, shouldn't you be doing the same thing?
- Too little eye contact can be considered rude. Where else are you looking? What's bothering you? Why aren't ongoing conversations good enough to grab your attention? If this is your problem, be aware of it. This is all you need to change!
- Too much eye contact can otherwise make the other person uncomfortable. You will look like you are glaring at the other person. If you realize intense eye contact is your problem, be sure to turn your attention to something else once in a while. Chances are the conversation will also involve hands, food, or any number of other things to get your attention - but keep it short!
Step 3. Tilt your head towards the other person
The science behind this is evolutionarily tilting the head exposing the carotid arteries, telling others that we don't want to fight. Somewhere in the depths of our brains, this signals us that the person we are talking to is not a threat and that we can proceed comfortably.
Tilting the head avoids the “take the horse” attitude. This demeanor is gentler, has a sympathetic demeanor, and tells others that you are focusing on them - something that everyone would love to have. So the next time you're not sure what stance to take, tilt your head. This will really cover it all
Step 4. Move the eyebrows quickly
This may be one of those nonverbal cues you're not even aware of. So maybe you already did! A common sign of friendliness (and, again, that you're not threatening) is to move your eyebrows quickly – just move them up and down a little and quickly. This is generally done when approaching a person and can be seen from a distance.
Combine this with a smile and you have the basic foundation for someone who is easy to like and approachable. But only make eye brow movements when starting a conversation - it's not something to use at random intervals, like the head tilt earlier
Step 5. Copy their position
If you find yourself in the same body position as everyone else, chances are that you are on the same line of thought. You may be doing this with those around you more often than you realize. The good news is that you can use it to your advantage! Humans like individuals who are similar to them, and this is one very easy way to do it.
If you're talking to someone and they're in the same posture, you may feel as though they are just like you - and thus understand and are able to communicate (successfully). Do this in conversation, but don't stand out too much – if it's too obvious it will seem far-fetched and unnatural
Step 6. Don't show your dominance
Many of the books you read will ask you to straighten your shoulders, raise your chin, and always shake hands firmly. While this is certainly a good idea and has its benefits, in some situations you may not want to appear too dominant. Maintain that confidence indicator, but give the I-really-respectful-you sign to level the playing field.
Whoever you meet, showing a little respect won't hurt you. If you meet someone and then want to shake hands, step forward and lean forward a little (like you're about to bow). Tilt your head, keep your body in an open position (i.e. don't always cross your arms and legs), and lean to one side or the other. Showing that you feel comfortable and interested in the other person leads them to like you regardless of the level of the conversation
Method 2 of 3: Getting Someone to Like You in Two Situations
Step 1. Ask about them
Show interest in them. Is there a better conversation than with someone who is genuinely interested in what you have to say? If you're in a conversation and hear yourself say "I've done this, I've done that," hold back. Ask other people's opinion. Conversations happen from both directions!
It is always better to be honest when speaking. People know when you have far-fetched humility. Showing interest in someone you really don't care about just to gain popularity won't work in the long run, so be the kind of person who is genuinely attracted to other people! If a certain topic really makes it difficult for you to feign interest, turn the conversation elsewhere
Step 2. Ask for help
This one might sound a bit funny if you're not familiar with it - it's a technique known as the "Benjamin Franklin Effect." Basically, you ask for help, someone else does it for you, you thank him, and he ends up liking you more. You might think that someone who does something for someone else would be more likable, but that's not so. So the next time you feel the need to borrow something, don't hesitate to ask!
The idea here is that everyone likes to feel useful to others and everyone tends to have someone who is indebted to them - rather than indebted to someone else. They derive strength and purpose from you so they become more like you. But don't do it all the time -. Asking too much for help, then you will disturb him
Step 3. Talk about other people's interests
If you know their hobbies or passions, ask! This will usually keep them going and not stop liking you! They'll go on and on and on and on to feel like the two of you are having an epic conversation when you've actually given up on nodding because you can't find the words to respond. If you can remember something they mention in passing, they will be doubly impressed.
Take the opportunity to say their names. Humans love, love, love to hear their names. As Dale Carnegie put it, for them it is the most beautiful sound of the whole language. This act validates them and as a result makes them feel more confident and happy. If you can tuck it in, do it
Step 4. Empathize
Pretty blatant and logical right? But strangely, although humans (to some degree) know this, but it is much easier not to. We're all concerned about me, me, me and waiting for the next time so we can insert it back into the conversation. To reinforce your liking, turn the spotlight on the other person. Focus on understanding them.
A simple phrase can explain this trick. Let's say someone explained to you a problem they were having. Your automatic response, "I understand how you feel." This should look harmless right? However, you're only placing the focus on yourself and your abilities - and what's more, the other person may think, "No, you just don't understand." Instead opt for something less cliché (and thus more meaningful, even if it ultimately benefits yourself) like, "So you feel like X, X, and X." Just repeating what they said will make them feel cared for and, well, good
Step 5. Praise them
Another one that seems really obvious. Unfortunately, giving compliments to other people can be awkward at times (many people don't know how to respond!) and it can seem like you're poorly motivated (intimate relationships, for example). For starters, don't think too much about it. Everyone loves it. At least honest and timely!
- Make sure your compliment is purposeful and precise. If someone has clearly had a bad night and the dirt is still on their skin from a dirty public bathroom floor, don't tell them how beautiful or handsome they are. Compliments must be sincere in order to be appreciated and taken seriously.
- You tell a guy you like his tie is great, but what does he have to say? "Thank you, this is made by kids in a factory far away and I have absolutely nothing to do with it?" Okay, so he probably wouldn't say that, but you get the point. It's a good idea to compliment his awesome Powerpoint presentation, his sense of humor, something important to him or something he's really working on. He will love the validation.
Step 6. Embarrass yourself
Once we reach the mature age of about 5 1/2, we begin to realize that society is watching us 24 hours a day and that certain behaviors are always wrong and attract the spotlight. Since humans can't stand the spotlight, we avoid it like the plague. Unfortunately, embarrassing moments still happen to all of us so when we see it happen to other people, we share their suffering. And that person? We will like it more because of that.
- When you see someone, say, caught with their pants slumped down, there's an automatic reaction from both sides. The one whose pants are sagging may be laughing (hopefully), blushing, maybe telling a joke, shaking his head, covering his face with his hands, and trying to go on with the day with what dignity he has left. What did he do? It shows that he is human. He is shown that things are not always as good as they seem and acknowledges it through his behavior. This is what humans like. He's a real person.
- Let's say the same situation happens again (what a pity for that guy), but this time he puts on a stoic face, pulls back his pants, gives a curt nod, and continues on his way. Not charming at all. His behavior does not accept the embarrassing condition and therefore we cannot relate to the incident, cannot sympathize with it, or find its appeal. Not the least bit fun.
Step 7. Touch them
Honestly, if you want to feel a bond with someone, touch them. Obviously every relationship is different and the level difference in touch is a good thing -. But in general, it is effective for bonding. A little touch will come in handy!
Imagine greeting someone briefly as you walk by with a short "Hi." It's a moment when it's as if you don't have time for that person. Now, imagine the same scenario where you walk quickly, give a brief hello, but you lightly touch their shoulder. Bam! Physical touch. Focus. You're on the radar – like, like and like
Step 8. Make them feel good
The overarching theme of this article is really just making other people feel good. The choice is how you do it. Each individual is a little different, but we all share the same qualities. We all want attention, to be happy, and to feel like we are cared for and useful. And towards the people who give us those things, we like them.
It is better to use a number of tactics to achieve this. Just flattery, or just asking for help, or just smiling won't create success. You have to sprinkle them with everything. If you stay focused on them, this will prepare you for further action -- asking questions (attention), praising (encouraging them) for advice (making them feel wise and meaningful), and showing empathy (feeling cared for). When they feel good about themselves, they will like you
Method 3 of 3: Make the World Like You
Step 1. Spend time with people who will improve your image
Unfortunately, all humans are looking for a quick signal to immediately pass judgment on a new person they meet. No, it's not always accurate, but we all do it because it's easy and relatively painless. We see a situation and judge on its outward appearance automatically. If we don't like it, we get rid of it. So when you're being judged, realize that it's not just who you are, it's what you appear to be.
This is kind of a nice way of saying … that you are being judged by those around you. If your friends are misbehaving, but you are not, you run the risk of being put in the same category as them. This is especially true with Facebook – the prettier your Facebook friends are, the more beautiful you'll look. Not really, but things like this are real
Step 2. Dress to impress people
You know the saying "dress for the job you want, not the job you have?" Just like that. Dress for the image people want to see, not how you feel about yourself. People are easily fooled by clothes. "Clothing makes a person," doesn't it? How many more figures do you need?
In recent research, wearing branded goods has shown that it can elevate one's status. The quality of the clothes didn't matter, but using a luxury label made one see the wearer as having a high status and being preferred. This is another sign that humans judge someone quickly. It may not be free of stupidity (or the right thing to do), but it is easier
Step 3. Do something to remember
This one can't be super specific because whatever you do has to match 'your' personality, but having "something" can make you more likable. You'll be more impressive, have a concrete identity (or so they think), and people will remember you more easily. "Hey! That's the guy with the parrot! I like that guy!" Something like that.
If you've ever worked in the restaurant industry, you probably have a story related to this phenomenon. Think of the customers who always tip in Rp. 10,000 bills. After one or two visits, the servants fought over it. Why? He has something. He is memorable, distinguishable, and attractive. He is liked
Step 4. Take care of your attitude
Quite clearly, people don't want to be around cannons that explode easily. When they don't know what to expect, they feel uncomfortable and tense. Try to maintain a relaxed, calm, and happy demeanor, even when things don't go as expected. People who don't get to know you well may be very annoyed by a display of distress, madness, and insecurity.
This doesn't mean you have to hide your emotions! No, no, no. You want to be the way you are. If something bothers you, you have every right to be angry. If people don't like it, they won't like it. But before you show it, choose your battle. Is it worth judging? If so, continue. If not, consider your reaction to the situation at hand
Step 5. Know your audience
Different ages, groups, and types of people will look for different things from a friend or partner. The older you get, the less gradual and dramatic your network becomes. Therefore, different persons may be more effective with different people. Get to know who you are dealing with and what they are looking for.
Many things are different between middle and high school and the adult world. It hurts wikiHow to say it, but at this age, you might be more likeable if you were a little mean and selfish. A new study shows that the popularity of individuals rises when they like to bully people. This is because at that age, other children see strength as a good example, not realizing that this is not what should be. In short, children usually like people who are a bit mean
Step 6. Practice basic hygiene rules
Nobody wants to be around stinky people, literally and metaphorically. So shower every day, wash your hair, shave if you need to, brush and floss your teeth, comb your hair, use a menthol breath spray or menthol gum, trim/clean your nails, apply deodorant, change clothes, clean your hands, and so on. -other. Easy things to do!
Think of this as an investment in yourself. The time it takes to look good (and feel good!) will pay off in the future. Not only is it good for getting people to like you, but it's good for your health too
Step 7. Love yourself
Honestly, if you don't like yourself, why should anyone else? This negativism from within will seep into your everyday actions and people will see it. And why don't you like yourself? You are awesome. At least as amazing as the people around you.
Don't try to be someone else; this becomes obvious if you try to do it. Get to know who you are, and tailor these tips to your personality. The benefits will show in the long run, even if you're racing to the beat of your own drum. Any changes you force can wear off over time, so it's best to be yourself from the start
Step 8. Use your sense of humor
Chances are you have it, so use it! If you can make people laugh, you did it! You just have to be careful to make jokes that fit the situation. The goal is not to offend people - the goal is to make them smile.
If you don't think of yourself as a humorist, don't try to be one. You may have a slightly different sense of humor than usual. Maybe you're sarcastic, maybe quirky, maybe you're super smart - any of these reasons can be turned into a comedic moment. Take what you have and do with it. It can be turned into cuteness
Tips
- Never look as though you are trying to get people to like you. This might alienate some people. The same principle applies as with some of the caveats above: try not to pretend in anything.
- Be nice! Being kind will allow you to be the best individual you can be.
- Don't hang out with the wrong people. Always hang out with good people who show that you are a good person to make friends with.
- Sometimes someone just doesn't like you. That doesn't mean no one likes you though! Don't just be friends with one person, try to be friends with as many people as you can.
- Try it once in a while to be funny without making it up, so your friends will remember it.
- Don't talk about controversial topics like religion, politics, or abortion, unless you know the person well.
- Never talk about people behind their backs, be they friends or foes. This will always get to them, and will end up being considered a backstabbing person and people will avoid you like the plague. You will lose the friends you had, and the future friends you might have made. You will also attract people with a similar attitude and remember that if you hang out with people who like to stab others in the back, they may stab you too.
- Spend quality time with old friends while making new friends. Otherwise, the two of you might just drift away from each other.
- It's very important to be honest. Once you lie to people, they won't trust you again the next time you say something.
- Try to be friendly and laugh at someone's jokes, even if they aren't funny.
- Don't use sarcasm unless you know the person very well and can joke around with them.
- Don't ignore anyone. Make sure you pay attention to everyone, even if you don't like them.
Warning
- Don't pretend you like something you don't like. This usually ends in the loss of friendship.
- Don't try to buy friendships by showering them with lots of gifts. This will make them uncomfortable and feel compelled to reciprocate. Also, the friends you want to have aren't friends if they base their friendship on what you can give them materially.
- Don't expect too much from other people. Be aware of how other people will react.
- Don't gossip or even participate in gossiping groups, especially malicious gossip: Leave it like this. Be a better person!
- When making eye contact with someone, make sure it is a friendly, attentive form of eye contact, not glaring eye contact.
