Being a quiet person has many advantages and disadvantages. Many people think that a quiet person is someone who is too shy or uninterested in things; however, that's usually not the case. Being a quiet person is not a social change, but a personal change. With a little practice you can be a quiet person, while still keeping old friends and being yourself.
Part 1 of 2: Being a Quiet Person
Step 1. Find friends who understand you
A common misconception people have about quiet people is that quiet people have no friends. This is not true. In fact, there are some quiet people who find it easier to develop strong friendships because when they talk, they tend to focus on the other person instead of making small talk or talking about themselves.
- You don't need to look for quiet friends, but make sure that the friends around you are able to understand and understand your quiet nature.
- Look for people who understand and understand. If you don't know anyone in your social circle who understands quiet people, talk to new people.
Step 2. Practice self-awareness
Quiet people generally feel that they can feel their feelings more deeply as a result of their quiet personality. To develop self-awareness, you need to understand and understand how you feel about a certain person, idea, or topic. With self-awareness, it will be easier for you to live life.
- Every day, take time for introspection. If you want to be a more reserved and introspective person, you need to take the time to introspect and think about your day.
- Find out what life experiences you find most meaningful or most enlightening. Then, think about how that life experience affected you.
- When you talk to people close to you, ask for their honest opinion on your behavior and ideas. Let them know that you want to be more aware of yourself and the way you think and act. Also say that you think the other person's perspective will be very helpful in your self-assessment.
Step 3. Develop your interests
Quiet people generally spend a lot of time developing their interests. This is certainly not something that all quiet people have to do, but the development of interest is one of the characteristics of quiet people. This will make you a more realistic and comfortable person in your quiet personality.
- Think about your childhood. What do you enjoy doing the most? If you like drawing or painting, maybe you can learn art. If you enjoy writing and reading, take a writing class. The things that meant the most to you as a child may still be in your mind, just not visible.
- If you're still having trouble finding an interest, think about all the things in life that excite your curiosity. What are some things that excite you in your daily life?
Step 4. Learn how to deal with social situations
If you are a quiet person, you will feel intimidated by most social situations. Some people will even feel threatened when they go shopping because they have to interact with strangers. Fortunately, there are easier and less stressful ways to deal with social situations. Among others are:
- wearing earphones or headphones when walking, taking the bus/train, or browsing the shops
- avoiding people who seem sad or disturbed
- avoid or politely stop small talk with strangers
Part 2 of 2: Talking to a Stranger
Step 1. Find a comfortable environment
If you're a quiet person, you likely won't feel comfortable talking about personal matters in a busy mall or cafeteria. Quiet people generally prefer to talk in a calm and relaxed atmosphere. If possible, find a place that is comfortable for you to talk first.
- Frenetic places are usually not conducive to deep, reflective conversation. The noise of the venue can force you and the other person to speak louder and more direct. For some, this can be uncomfortable.
- There are also people who feel that a place that is too hot can damage the ability to think.
- Understand what kind of place you like. Then, have conversations in or around such places.
Step 2. Practice your listening skills
Quiet people are generally good listeners. This is because people with quiet personalities usually prefer to think and process information before speaking further. People who are not quiet will usually ask quiet people when they need help or advice.
- Listen to other people's words carefully.
- Decide when you will answer and what your answer will be. Short answer.
- Before answering anything, think about it first.
- If you need time to think before answering, say: "Hmm. Yes, I have an opinion, but I need to think first."
Step 3. Ask lots of questions
Quiet people usually ask to find out more about other people. By asking questions, you can talk to other people without having to talk endlessly about unimportant things, which quiet people don't like.
- Instead, ask questions that have open answers. Don't ask questions that can be answered with a yes/no. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying, then ask in-depth questions about what he or she is saying in a good effort to get to know the person more deeply.
- Instead of asking, "Are you from Surabaya?" Ask questions that can be answered long, such as "School in Surabaya, is it good?"
Step 4. Be yourself
Remember, you don't have to be ashamed of being quiet. In fact, in some countries, being quiet is considered a good trait! Plus, if you talk less and hear more, you'll also avoid accidentally mocking people. When you finally meet a "fit" person, you'll also find your interactions more meaningful.
- Always be yourself.
- Find your comfort zone. You may need to balance your quiet personality with your need to interact with other people, such as at work or school. Find ways to stay comfortable with other people, but still be yourself.