Even though it's hard, there's nothing wrong with being nice to your little sister. Right now, maybe your relationship with him doesn't feel significant, but it's actually one of the most important relationships in your life. First, try to be his friend by talking to him often and treating him with respect. After that, spend time with him whenever you have the chance. You can help with her homework or go to the park with her. If you start fighting with him, think about how to end the fight by remaining calm and compromising with him.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Resolving Quarrels and Debates
Step 1. Try to stay calm
If you lose control, the fight will escalate and become difficult to control. First, take a deep breath and count to ten. If you're having trouble calming down, leave him and come back when he's calmed down. Once you've calmed down, try to be nice to your sibling to keep your temper under control. As an example:
- Speak calmly and respectfully, even when you are upset.
- Resist the urge to hit or push it.
Tip:
Listen to what he has to say and think about his words.
Step 2. Think about whether you deserve to be upset with him or not
Sometimes the situation may make you feel irritated and angry, but that's not your sister's fault. For example, if you feel angry because your parents gave him one of your toys, you can't be mad at him. He has no control over the situation at hand. Instead of scolding him, talk to your parents.
Remember to stay calm when talking to your parents about how you feel
Step 3. Ask him what makes him upset or angry
If your sister is upset with you, avoid arguments by giving her the opportunity to share how she feels. Many people get irritated at the thought that no one cares about their feelings. Show your concern for him by listening to his complaints and accepting or acknowledging his anger. For example, you could say:
- "I know you're upset with me. What's wrong?"
- "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Tell me what upset you so I don't do it again."
- "Why are you upset? Is there anything I can do?"
Step 4. Make a deal
Try to find a solution so that the two of you can stop fighting. Keep in mind that both of you need to give up what you want in order to come to an agreement. This can make you or your sibling irritated. If you're both having trouble calming down, you may need a parental role as a mediator. Some compromises or agreements that can be made include:
- Take turns using your favorite toy.
- Share clothes that you both like.
- Bring your little sister every once in a while when you spend time with friends.
Step 5. Apologize to him
If he's upset, apologize to him for upsetting him, even if you don't think you did anything wrong. When apologizing, think about how he felt and what made him angry. Use the following reasons to express a sincere apology. As an example:
- "I apologize for using her favorite comb. I won't do it again."
- "I apologize for hurting your feelings. I didn't mean to."
- "I want to apologize for eating that last cupcake. I didn't know you wanted it."
Part 2 of 3: Spending Time with her
Step 1. Ask him what he likes to do
Talk to him about fun activities to do together. Try to find activities that you both want to try. If not, make an agreement to do one activity he wants to do, and one activity you want to do. Ask him about his favorite activity by saying:
- "What do you enjoy doing for fun?"
- "What fun things do you enjoy doing at school?"
- "Let's play together! What do you want to play?"
Step 2. Help him do his homework
Because you are older, you have a better understanding of household chores than your younger sibling. If he's having trouble with math or spelling assignments, offer to help. Carefully explain the tasks he has and help him answer each of his own questions.
Notes:
There is a difference between helping someone and doing their homework. If you tell him all the answers to his assignments, he won't learn anything.
Step 3. Do something quiet together
One fun way to spend time with her is to do quiet activities together. First, invite him to play in your room or visit him in his room. After that, say that you want to do a quiet activity while spending time with him. These activities include:
- Read a book
- Playing video games
- Draw
- Play phone
Step 4. Visit a fun place together
Many of us feel bored with our daily schedule. Build joy in moments with your sister by visiting exciting places. However, make sure you have asked your parents for permission to leave the house with your sister. Some of the exciting places that can be visited include:
- Park
- Exhibition or festival in your city
- A friend's house (which your sister also knows)
Step 5. Find other ways to show you care
If you're too busy to spend time with your sister, you can still show her you care. For example, if you have a driver's license, try asking him to go shopping with you. Some other things that can be done include:
- Make him breakfast in the morning.
- Insert a sweet note in his lunch box.
- Take him out to meet your friends.
Part 3 of 3: Befriend him
Step 1. Put yourself in his shoes
Many of us get irritated with our younger sibling, especially when he or she is being rude or annoying. The first step to dealing with a situation like this is to put yourself in his shoes. The more you understand him, the easier it will be for you to be nice to him. As an example:
- Does he admire you? Many younger sisters idolize their older brothers.
- How old is she? Do you act like you at that age too?
- Think about the things that make him upset or angry. Do these things annoy you too?
Step 2. Talk to him regularly
Show an interest in his life by chatting with him whenever you see him. This kind of behavior reflects that you care about his experiences and thoughts. For example, ask about the day and listen quietly to the answer. You could say, for example:
- "Hi Jani! What do you think of the new Avengers movie?"
- "Who was your best friend at school? What do boys usually do at school?"
- "What do you enjoy doing after school?"
Step 3. Treat him with respect
When you respect someone with respect, you show that you are interested in their positive opinion. Besides, if you treat your sister with respect, she will treat you with respect in the end. As an example:
- If he makes you angry, resist the urge to scold him.
- If he interrupts you while you're doing your homework, let him know in a friendly manner that you're busy.
- Don't use his stuff without permission, even if he uses yours.
Step 4. Don't get upset or angry about sibling rivalry
Many older brothers often feel jealous of their younger sisters. They feel that the younger sibling gets more attention from the parents. Although this is true, it is not your sister's fault. He has no control over your parents' behavior. Instead of feeling angry, talk to your parents about how you feel and offer a solution. As an example:
- Set aside time to spend with your parents every week.
- Ask your parents if you can stay up an hour longer than your sister. You can use this extra time to interact with your parents only.
Tip:
Schedule family activities that allow you to spend time with your parents and siblings.
Step 5. Congratulate him on his achievement
When you congratulate him on something, you show that you admire him. He will be happy to know that you are impressed by him, especially if he has been admiring you or reflecting on you. One day, he too will congratulate you in return. Some of his possible achievements include:
- Promoted to next grade
- Get good marks in exams
- Successfully climbed a tall tree
- Showing good performance at a dance recital
Tips
- Don't make fun of your sister.
- If possible, try to give him a treat every now and then.
- If a boy friend comes to visit, don't tease him or insinuate him as his girlfriend.
- Tell him regularly that you love him.
- Show respect and show that you are willing to make time for him. Try taking him to his favorite restaurant or playing his favorite board game.
- Involve him in the activities you do. If he's following you, he probably didn't mean to upset you. He may want to play with you or get your attention.
- Have fun with him. Relax and be yourself in his presence.
