Your relationship with your sister can be one of the most important relationships in life. However, sometimes problems arise and strain the relationship. However, it is important for you to look back at the situation at hand, realize how important it is in your life, and try to build strong relationships in the future.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Reconsider Your Attitude
Step 1. Think about your current relationship with him
Do you often feel jealous of your sibling? Do you often start fights and notice your behavior? It's possible that the real fault lies with you, and your brother reacts to your behavior. You may also be too busy with your friends and your own life and not pay much attention to them.
Step 2. Decide what kind of relationship you want with him
Relationships between siblings are always different and the dynamics depend on your personality, whether it's a brother or sister, and the age gap between you. Think about your interactions with them and what needs to be done to make your relationship work.
- Do you want to be friends with him and go to a party together?
- Do you want to make him a mentor figure to help you solve problems in your life?
- Do you want to help, guide, or protect him?
Step 3. Think about your view of it
Do you think of him as a five year old? Do you really know him now? It's not easy for you to notice the developments and changes. He does live with you, but you also have a life of your own. If you don't really understand him right now, or know his interests and friends, this is a good time to get to know him. He may also feel the same way about you.
- Ask funny questions that can be thrown at each other, from silly questions to “classic” questions like his favorite movie of the last few years, his favorite ice cream flavor (even if it's weird), or the place he most wants to go (or doesn't want to go).
- Follow him on social media. You can find out how he presents himself and his interests, his friends, and his views on his current place or existence.
- Try traveling together. You can camp together, go to the beach, or rent a small villa in the mountains. Usually, vacations or trips allow you to get to know someone better, and encourage you to be more open.
- Do activities together. You can try any activity, from skateboarding, volunteering at a soup kitchen, yoga class, or any other activity that you find fun.
- Look at your old photos together. Reminisce about the good (and a little bit “heartbreaking”) moments from your past.
Step 4. Start a new relationship with him
In sibling relationships, each person carries a "story" of the past that is less than pleasing, and that can be a burden to both of you. However, forget about his attitude or actions that you don't like. Don't bring up fights or problems that you had as a child.
Part 2 of 3: Talking To Him
Step 1. Tell him that you want to try to be a better brother
Ask him what kind of change he wants in your relationship. He may also have some suggestions in addition to some of the things you've already considered. Make sure you have this conversation behind closed doors and spend plenty of time talking.
Step 2. Do the activity together
Find something you enjoy and make time to enjoy it with your sibling. Sometimes it's hard for you to find common ground. However, it's definitely fun when you can find something new to try and determine if you like it (or don't like it).
- Try going to the movies.
- Watch television series together.
- Try water sports like kayaking.
- Take a cooking class together.
- Explore new areas in your city.
- Try visiting a new restaurant.
Step 3. Maintain your communication with him
For most of you, short messages and Facebook posts are more intimate than long chats. Once you've built a close relationship, maintain it through casual, brief interactions, and the occasional long chat.
Part 3 of 3: Keeping Close
Step 1. Resolve the dispute
Even if you fight, he is still your brother. Try to calm yourself down, then talk to him again. Apologize and ask if the problem can be ended.
- For example, you could say, “I'm sorry. I'm upset that you're late, but I shouldn't have yelled at you. Will you forgive me?"
- “At first, I didn't think he was the right guy for you. Sorry, it turns out I was wrong. He is a charming person, and I have no right to judge you or determine what you should do.”
- "You're right. I wore the wrong clothes to the party and I felt overwhelmed. Since we had a fight, I feel even more devastated. I should have come with you and your friends.”
Step 2. Be honest with him
You will be brothers for life and if he asks you for advice, give it honestly while remaining diplomatic and empathetic. Even if it's not something he wants to hear, at least you have more right than anyone else to express your opinion and ask him to listen to you. On the other hand, he is also in the same position for you. When your parents seem to meddle in your affairs, a sibling's advice is usually all you need.
Step 3. Make sure he stays aware of your life
Your family is the best source of support throughout your life, and your siblings are one of the most important parts of that support. He will accompany you through important moments in life. Having someone who understands you and you can contact when facing difficult times is certainly a very meaningful help. He may understand you better than anyone else, so you should keep your relationship with him close and intimate.
Step 4. Be a source of emotional support for him
Everyone has experienced tough moments and sometimes, you can provide more comfort and peace than anyone (and vice versa). Support doesn't always take the form of advice (if he wants it, he'll ask for it). Sometimes, he just needs your presence when he's having a bad day. Be a good listener. By listening to the problem carefully, you can become a source of support for him as well as strengthen the existing relationship.
Step 5. Make sure he knows how much he means to you
If you don't feel comfortable telling him how much you love him, do him a favor. Prepare him a meaningful gift, celebrate certain moments with him, and provide your presence to cheer him up when he's feeling down.
