In everyday life, you may have to interact with people with different levels of understanding. Interpersonal communication skills are indispensable, whether you are going for a job interview, starting a new relationship, or communicating as a team member. Perhaps you already understand that your success is greatly influenced by your communication skills and that there are certain ways of communicating that are more effective. You can improve your interpersonal communication skills by developing your nonverbal communication skills, improving how you interact with others, and building your self-image.
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Part 1 of 3: Improving Nonverbal Communication
Step 1. Learn how to improve nonverbal communication
Nonverbal communication is communication that is done through facial expressions, touch, and voice (not the words you say, but the tone). Visual cues are more important to interpret and convey than sound cues. When it comes to visual cues, people are usually better able to interpret facial expressions than body language.
For example, if you want to express pleasure, it is more effective to use facial expressions (such as smiling) rather than speaking more quickly or through body language. This can be very helpful when you want to hide feelings, such as fears that you don't want to show
Step 2. Recognize the importance of nonverbal communication
The role of nonverbal communication in determining the meaning of interpersonal communication is estimated at 60%. The success of nonverbal communication is influenced by the ability to express emotions so that what you want to convey can be accepted and understood correctly by others.
Pay attention to the nonverbal cues you send when communicating. Also pay attention to nonverbal messages you receive from other people
Step 3. Learn how to use comfortable body language
In Western culture, how to build intimacy with other people is usually shown by leaning slightly forward with the face and body facing the interlocutor. Use body language, adjust the pitch of your voice, the speed of your speech, and the volume of your voice. Listen actively by nodding your head occasionally, smiling, and don't interrupt. Communicate in a relaxed manner, but don't be too relaxed.
In other words, don't bend over, but don't tighten the muscles. If you notice that you're paying too much attention to your body language, turn your attention back to what the other person is saying
Step 4. Learn the prevailing cultural norms
There are certain cultures that do not use body language in communicating. Good nonverbal communication skills are determined by your knowledge of cultural rules for expressing emotions. For example, in Finland, eye contact is considered friendly, while in Japan, eye contact means anger.
If you grew up in a certain culture, many of the nonverbal cues you use are instinctual. When you need to communicate in an unfamiliar culture, pay close attention to the nonverbal cues used
Step 5. Study the effect of gender differences on nonverbal communication
It's a good idea to learn how to convey and interpret nonverbal messages by understanding the role of gender differences. Men and women express themselves nonverbally in a variety of ways. Women usually prefer to make eye contact, smile, and use physical touch than men.
Women are also more likely to interrupt conversations, are better able to listen, and are better at interpreting facial expressions than men
Step 6. Control your emotional cues
This is an important factor in successful communication. When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, take deep breaths and try to calm yourself down. Pay attention to the tension signals you send and try to relax yourself by relaxing your fingers, lower jaw, and muscles that feel tense.
The results of research conducted on Fortune 500 executives show that people who are able to control and express emotions appropriately (for example, are able to hold back anger when criticized) will be more trusted by people
Part 2 of 3: Improving Interaction Skills
Step 1. Define your goals
Are you able to talk to other people the way you want? Observe the interactions you've had recently. Did you get what you wanted after the conversation (for example, were you persuasive enough)? Does the person you are talking to understand what you are saying well? If the answer is no, think of another way to get the result you want, for example by:
- Be persuasive: approach it through a logical aspect. For example, if you want your roommate to take out the trash, explain that both of you are responsible for keeping things clean and last time you took out the trash. So, now it's your friend's turn to take out the trash.
- Use friendly body language: if you're not being responded to in a friendly manner, try to build closeness through body language by leaning over when talking to the person and actively listening.
- Listening: don't monopolize the conversation. Recognize how you respond and listen to the other person. Let your friend talk and signal that you are listening, for example by saying “then”, “oh” and “what?”
- Be assertive: use the words “I” or “I” in conveying messages, such as “I feel very depressed.” Don't blame or make aggressive statements with the words "you" or "you," such as "You really piss me off."
Step 2. Communicate efficiently
Use direct, easy-to-understand sentences to get what you want, instead of conveying complex indirect messages. If you can, prepare in advance and practice speaking so that you can convey the message smoothly and easily. Efficient communication not only helps others understand you, but helps you get more messages across in the same amount of time.
For example, maybe you want to show more responsibility at work. Instead of saying, "Sir, if you agree, I'm thinking about whether there is an opportunity for me to take on more responsibilities and additional duties at work" you might say, "I wish I could get more responsibilities if possible.”
Step 3. Let the other person speak
People expect to contribute equally to the conversation. Letting the other person speak means keeping yourself comfortable when you need to be quiet, but not for more than a few seconds. People who are communicating will appear more competent if they are willing to focus on the other person during the conversation.
For example, pay attention to how much you speak in a conversation. Are you the one who talks more? Draw a conclusion from your story and stop talking as a sign that you're done
Step 4. Know the characteristics of good communication
In general, there are five principles of effective communication: informative, relevant, correct, polite, and courteous. When you speak, people will assume whether you can provide information that:
- no one else knows
- relevant and liked by everyone who listens
- true (unless you use sarcasm or irony)
- meet social expectations in terms of manners, for example by saying “please” and “thank you”
- don't brag or be selfish
Part 3 of 3: Impressing Others
Step 1. Find common interests
This can help you both reach your goals together. Find common interests and develop mutual understanding. For example, if the two of you can't agree on which restaurant to go to, but you're both hungry, make a decision because you're both hungry.
If your interlocutor doesn't seem to be able to understand or accept the existence of common interests between the two of you, stop this conversation first and continue at another time. For example, you might say, “We're really hungry right now. How about this time I choose the restaurant and next time you decide.”
Step 2. Don't make assumptions or assumptions
Speaking straight to the point and clearly is the best way to communicate with other people. There will be misunderstanding and tension in a relationship if you are prone to prejudice or assumptions. For example, imagine you are talking to someone who looks elderly and he asks you to repeat what you said. Don't assume that he can't hear very well because he's old and then you immediately speak louder to be heard.
If there's something you don't understand clearly, try to find out what exactly he's asking before continuing the conversation. You can say, "Sorry, is my voice not loud enough?"
Step 3. Don't force the conversation
Everyone will avoid situations where they feel they have no choice. If you are controlling the conversation or forcing the other person to do what you want, think again about the way you are using it. Work towards your goals by persuading and direct communication. This way can ensure that your long-term relationship will continue to work well and be more successful.
For example, imagine that you want to go out with a friend, but your friend's pet has an emergency on a certain day and he can't go. Instead of making him feel guilty about not being able to leave, express your disappointment and offer help. Explain to him that you can understand his problem
Tips
- The interlocutor may not necessarily be able to properly accept statements using the words "I" or "I". Research has shown that the word can be considered hostile if it is used to express anger, such as "I'm angry."
- Instead of expressing anger, you can express sadness with "I" or "I," such as "I'm frustrated" or "I'm disappointed" because these statements are easier for other people to accept.
