At some point in your life, whether as a child, teenager, or young adult, you may have made a mistake and this mistake made your own mother angry. Sometimes apologizing just isn't going to work, so you have to try harder to get an apology from your mother. However, you can improve the way you apologize, be respectful, and behave in the best way possible so Mom can forget what you did wrong.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Apologize Sincerely
Step 1. Make an apology by meeting your mother in person
Whatever the situation, don't try to apologize just by text message or email. Talking to someone in a very emotional situation can be difficult, but taking responsibility for your mistakes will let your mother see that you are sincere.
Step 2. Show sincerity
Use a respectful tone of voice and say your apology in a clear voice. Muttering will only show that you are not willing to take responsibility for your mistakes.
If you don't know how to start, say something like, "I'm so sorry I hurt Mama. I know I shouldn't have fought with Joni. I was wrong, because I let anger take over me. I want to change for the better. I'm sorry. Yes, Mom…"
Step 3. Just tell the truth
At times, you may feel tempted to lie, but don't do it. You will actually accumulate more mistakes if caught lying. The problem will only get worse, and it will be even more difficult for you to get an apology from Mom.
Step 4. Don't try to talk to him in the heat of the moment
Let your mother calm herself for a moment. Approach him after a while, after he gets a chance to think with a cool head. Most importantly, don't argue anymore, as this will only make the situation worse.
Step 5. Choose the right time
Don't try to apologize when your mom is busy with other things, like cooking dinner. Meet your mom when she's alone and in her spare time, then ask if you can talk to her for a bit.
Understand if Mom still won't listen to you. Your mother may not be ready to hear what you have to say. Just wait a few more moments, then approach and ask his willingness to come back later
Step 6. Don't procrastinate too long
This means, you must take responsibility for your mistakes without delay. If you procrastinate too long, your mother may think that you don't feel ashamed or guilty about what you did.
Step 7. Listen to what he has to say
Listen carefully to your mother, and try to understand why she thinks you are guilty. The only way you can apologize for what you did is to understand why your mother was angry. Therefore, put yourself in Mother's shoes. Mom is trying to help you grow, so you also need to understand her point of view.
Step 8. Don't bring up other issues when talking about your mistakes
Don't talk about your brother/sister's actions or other problems that happened before. This will only remind Mother of other matters and make her angrier.
For example, don't say, "But Tini also came home late last week, how come she wasn't punished? Why are you only mad at me, not at Tini too?" Bringing up other issues will only confuse your mother's feelings. Just say, "I know you're mad, and I really shouldn't be coming home tonight. I'm really sorry, Mom."
Step 9. Don't make excuses for your mistakes
Excuses will destroy your apology, because it shows that you are throwing the blame on someone else. If you want to be forgiven, you have to admit that you were wrong.
For example, don't say, "Actually I didn't come home late, after all, it's because I took my friend home first." Instead, say something like, "I know I came home late, and I'm sorry. I'll try to manage my time better next time, by leaving the show earlier."
Step 10. Try to improve the situation
Apologies will be more successful if you try to fix the problematic situation caused by your mistake.
For example, if you break an object, try to repair it or replace it. If you yell at your sibling, be extra nice and loving to him
Step 11. Apologize in writing
This passage may seem contradictory to the "apologizing in person" above, but it really isn't, because apologizing in writing should only be an additional step to apologizing in person. Also, this way of writing should not be done via text message or email. Write your own handwritten letter to your mother, expressing your apologies and your intention to change for the better in the future. Handwriting takes thought and time, so your mother will appreciate your good intentions.
An example of this writing for example is: "Mother, I know you are angry because a few days ago I had a fight with Rita. I know that you want your children to love each other, especially when you did not have siblings. I understand what is in your heart. I really love Rita, even though she makes me really angry sometimes. I'm the older one, and I should have acted more mature if she was deliberately bothering me. I understand that relationships take effort, and Mom is actually trying to help me get ready for other relationships in the future. my future. I'll try not to fight anymore, really. I love you too, and I hope you can forgive me. Hug, Rini."
Step 12. Understand that forgiveness takes time
Sometimes, your mom can forgive you right away, but other times, she needs more time. In fact, psychologists even claim that there are stages of forgiveness, just like stages of grief. Your mother may go through a process of denial, bargaining, anger, and depression, before finally entering the stage of acceptance and forgiveness. Maybe he didn't go through this whole process in a completely sequential or complete way, but remember that you should try to get his apology and trust back.
Step 13. Realize that your mother is not perfect
He also makes mistakes, and may be angry with you worse/longer than he should be.
Sometimes, mothers get angry for other reasons. The cause is not always your fault. Just as you yourself may vent the frustration of a bad day on your sibling, your mother may also vent bad emotions during an unpleasant event/day (or even week)
Method 2 of 3: Showing Regret through Best Behavior
Step 1. Follow the rules
You don't want to make Mom even more angry by adding another mistake. Therefore, obey the rules that apply in your family, and even do more than that. If you see a good opportunity to help Mom, don't waste it. Help your mother.
Step 2. Cooperate, don't oppose each other
Ask Mom to help you plan better behavior in the future.
For example, maybe the problem is that you always come home late. Ask Mom to help you suggest ways to solve this problem. Maybe you can set an alarm to go off 30 minutes before your due time, and Mom can remind you to set an alarm when you're leaving
Step 3. Stay calm
Don't make "funny" decisions like leaving or running away from home. You may be angry because you were scolded, and may feel that Mom doesn't love you anymore. In fact, his anger actually proves that he still cares and wants the best for you. He just wants you to keep getting better. If you feel isolated and need to "talk," try talking to a friend, father, brother, or sister.
Step 4. Don't repeat the same mistake
If you keep making the same mistakes, your mother will doubt the sincerity of your apology.
Step 5. Take an extra allowance in doing household chores
Dispose of trash without having to be asked. Wash dirty clothes. Offer to look after your little sister or shop for household needs. Cook the dinner menu before your mother has time to do it. Your mother will see that you are really trying to change for the better.
Step 6. Do fun things for your mother
Bring breakfast to her bed. Give him flowers. Make a cute card or picture for her to take to work. Show Mom that you love her.
Step 7. Do the things you know your mom loves, together
Go for a walk in the park even if you don't like it yourself, or take Mom to the library with you.
Step 8. Be affectionate, and don't put yourself in a bad mood
Being affectionate will show Mom that you are sincere and really want to be better.
Method 3 of 3: Be Respectful
Step 1. Show that you are listening
When Mom is lecturing you, listen carefully to what she has to say, and don't argue with her. Just accept that you are in the wrong position, and he has every right to lecture you.
Step 2. Don't ignore your mother
He's trying to help you, and if this means he wants to talk to you, take the time to listen. Respond to his words and think about his advice. You can also reassure him that you won't repeat the same mistake at the end of the conversation, so he'll know that you really thought about it and sincerely apologize.
Step 3. Use a respectful tone of voice
When answering questions from Mom, don't answer them in annoyance. Just answer calmly, directly, and honestly.
For example, if your mother said, "What's on your mind?" don't answer it with, "Duh, I don't know, I'm an idiot 'time'" in a sarcastic tone. Just say things like "Hmm… I didn't really think much of it at the time. I'll try to do better in the future."
Step 4. Accept the punishment without complaining
This will show Mom that you respect her decision.
Mom won't yell at you for not liking or hating you. He loves you, and doesn't want you to fall into the wrong decisions that will have a negative impact on your future. He certainly wants you to stay safe and learn to be a better person
Step 5. Be mature
Don't be rude, or use hateful swear words. Do not kick or slam the door. You will only make Mom angrier with these things, and subsequently, you will regret this bad behavior.
- In addition, your mother will appreciate your maturity and may forgive you more quickly.
- If he says, "You always say that but you don't keep it!", don't argue. Say that you understand, then ask for his help so that he can change for the better in the future.
Tips
- Don't avoid your mother, but if she's really mad and doesn't want to see you, stay away for a while.
- Ask your father or brother/sister for help. Sometimes, they can talk to your mother better, and help her to forgive you.
- Don't yell at your mother.
- If you've made a mistake that you regret, don't cry, but show your remorse by changing your actions. Your mother will notice this change. Also, always say that you're sorry. Even though Mom might not believe you right away at first, she'll still want to hear your apology. But don't forget, actions mean more than words. Therefore, change your behavior!
- Realize that Mom loves you and tell her that you love her with all your heart.
- Do not argue, because this will make it take longer to forgive you.
- If you do something wrong by mistake, don't make excuses, just talk about it! This will help your mother understand your point of view.
- Don't run away from mistakes or cover up mistakes. Talk to your mother.
- Bring a sweet gift or greeting card for Mom, with an apology in it.
- When apologizing, don't say "Mommy must be mad, okay?" as if to say "I know, Mama doesn't love me anymore, because I made this mistake". This will make him even more disappointed, believe me. Say something like, "I know you're disappointed because of what I did," and add "Will you forgive me?"
