A person who feels inferior or is being blamed tends to express these feelings in the form of envy and hatred. These feelings can lead to uncomfortable situations and make you uncomfortable dealing with your own success. You can build positive relationships with other people by confronting people who hate and envy you head-on and use a variety of strategies to help them deal with those feelings.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Dealing with People Who Hate and Envy You
Step 1. Don't take it to heart
When someone is jealous of you, the problem is not with you, but with that person. Cultivate confidence in yourself. Don't let someone who is jealous of you affect your self-confidence or even raise self-doubt.
- Get on with your work. Don't let other people stop you.
- Focus on the people who support you.
- Remind yourself that the person is jealous because you did something well.
Step 2. Ignore any jealous and hateful comments
While it may seem difficult, you need to ignore malicious comments from people who are jealous of you so they will realize that your attitude is actually denying them.
Step 3. Face people who hate you face to face in everyday life
If it's difficult to ignore the person, face it head-on so that the pressure of jealousy can be released. Talk to him about fighting his behavior.
- "I want to have a good working relationship with you. What can I do to make it work?"
- "I appreciate your constructive criticism, but sometimes I feel you are too rude."
Step 4. Reduce your negative interactions with that person
If you can change the environment or social dynamics with that person, their ability to influence you will decrease.
- Get together with people who support you. That way, the person who hates you doesn't stand a chance to fight you head-on when you're together.
- When you meet someone who hates you, be the first to say hello. Then go.
- Make friends with his friends so he feels like an outsider.
Step 5. Change your routine so you don't have to run into the hater
When walking, take another route; want to go to the toilet, use the toilet in another hallway; find another course or ask for different hours of work.
Step 6. Set limits
You don't have to listen to this hater all the time. Set boundaries to distance yourself from that person. Set a time limit in your mind about how long you will be dealing with that person. When this time is up, say goodbye politely.
- When talking to the person, ask them to wait a minute, then walk away saying "I need to do something."
- Count how many times he made negative comments. After reaching 3 comments, end the conversation.
Step 7. Tell the person that you don't like being treated negatively
While you certainly don't want to appear rude (because it can make the person even more angry), it's possible that his behavior can change if you tell him how you feel.
- "I feel uncomfortable about the way you talk to me."
- "Your attitude when you talk to me is really bad. Can we interact in a more positive way?"
Part 2 of 4: Helping Others Overcome Envy
Step 1. Be a more mature person than the people who hate and envy you
No matter how negative their interactions with you, keep your interactions positive with them. Show them better ways to deal with situations.
- Praise the person's positive qualities.
- Have a good interaction with that person.
- Offer to help the person in order to improve their ability to deal with jealousy.
Step 2. Talk to the person about your own personal difficulties
There are people who feel that in this world they are the only ones having negative experiences. By bringing up your own personal difficulties, the person may realize that he or she is not alone and this may improve your relationship with them.
- Point out any time you've had a failure.
- Talk about things that you find difficult.
- Ask the envious person to help you do something to increase their self-confidence.
Step 3. Help the person improve himself
Envy may come from a sense of inferiority. You may be able to improve your relationship with the person by offering to teach them skills and abilities that they envy. Of course, you need to be supportive so the person doesn't feel like you're insulting them and implying that you're a better person.
Step 4. Provide alternative options
If someone is jealous of your abilities or your behavior, show them alternative options. Of course, you can't please everyone by fulfilling all their wishes. You have to be creative: come up with alternative options that can be given to people who are jealous of you. Give them several possibilities so they can choose.
Step 5. Avoid commenting or posting negative images on social media
Of course, you don't need to stop using social media, but it's a good idea to think about what other people will think of you before posting something so that others don't offend and create hatred.
Part 3 of 4: Understanding the Origins of Envy and Hate
Step 1. Recognize what envy is
Envy is the feeling that arises when you feel that someone else has something that should be yours. People who feel jealous tend to blame others around them instead of realizing the feelings that make them feel sick.
Step 2. Find the specific source of the person's envy
Most envy stems from the fear that one will not be respected or loved by another. This fear can have a very powerful effect. To understand the source of envy, know what kind of fear reinforces the envy. There are several sources:
- Physical object
- Personal relationship
- Professional position
- Social status
Step 3. Ask directly what is bothering the person
Politely approach people who are jealous or resentful of your success, and then ask them what they envy or hate. Be polite so you don't add to the reason the person is angry. It's even better if you are direct and open. Try using one of the suggested words below to help the person open up:
- "I see you act differently around me. Am I bothering you?"
- "I want to make sure I'm not intruding. Is there a problem?"
- "You're a great person. I wonder if there's a problem between us."
Part 4 of 4: Separating Envy and Criticism
Step 1. Consider the position of the envious person
Think about who made comments that you think are hateful or envious. If that person is your boss or coach, chances are they are actually trying to improve your skills, not tackle.
Step 2. Watch the person's interactions with other people
There are people who are medically inclined to be envious of others. Such individuals are always expressing envy, and may not mean what they say.
Step 3. Be open to criticism
Even if you feel that he's being very mean or rude, you can still accept his chatter as constructive criticism. Accept the suggestions and keep a positive outlook.
Tips
- If someone is jealous of you, know that it means you did something well. Think of this as motivation.
- Stay strong, don't let other people define who you are or your worth.
- Don't let other people tell you that you're not strong enough. Believe in your own abilities. Remember, people who hate you will hate you.
- Never stop doing what you love even if people make fun of you for it.
- Don't share personal information with narcissists. Narcissists take great pleasure in negative information about you and use it as a tool to manipulate other people's opinions of you. Stay away and don't share anything with them. If the narcissist is a family member, ask other family members not to say anything about you.
