Most people have experienced what it feels like to be hated at some point in their life. When you wrong someone, you should apologize and try your best to repair the relationship. However, if someone hates you for other, non-destructive reasons, such as your identity or your sense of dress, you shouldn't change. Instead, try to protect yourself, both mentally and physically, from those who hate you. Remember, it's impossible to please everyone and don't let unnecessary fights get you down.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Confronting Haters Indirectly
Step 1. Ignore them
If possible, don't bother with people who hate you. People who bully usually like it when you react. Oftentimes, haters try to justify themselves by making you feel bad. When the haters mock you, you react, then the haters react to your reaction, finally a vicious cycle occurs.
- Bullies are a special kind of hater. A person is called a bully if their actions are repetitive and there is an imbalance of power. While all bullies are haters, not all haters are bullies. For example, your sibling taunts you, but she can't be called a bully because you may be bigger and stronger. Similarly, if a classmate makes fun of you, he or she is not called a bully. In general, a good way to deal with bullies is to be passive, whereas confrontation is the best way to deal with other types of haters.
- If the hater annoys you in class, pretend not to hear him. If someone who hates you provokes or tries to get your attention, don't respond.
- Remember, ignoring hate doesn't always work in all situations. If the person who hates you starts to physically or verbally abuse you, it's a good idea to get someone else involved, especially someone in authority such as a teacher or supervisor at work.
Step 2. Build self-confidence
Confidence is the best weapon against haters. Don't take teasing seriously, make funny comments, and stay positive. If you stay confident, the hater will get frustrated and start leaving you.
- For example, if someone mocks your art, be positive. Try saying: "I'm sorry if you feel that way, but art is subjective. However, I'm doing my best to improve it, so thanks for your constructive criticism."
- If someone calls you "weird," you might say: "It might be a little weird, but I like who I am. What's wrong with being a freak?"
- When you run into someone who hates you, don't look down or lean in another direction. This posture shows the hater that you are scared, which makes the hater happy. Instead, stand up straight with your head raised.
Step 3. Avoid the haters
This doesn't mean you have to hide from anyone. Never let bullies rule your life. Just avoid being in situations where you have to interact with people who hate you.
- When you are young, people usually dislike you very much because they don't understand your interests and passions. Instead of hanging out with these people, find ways to pursue passions outside of their negative attitude.
- If you're dealing with some really mean haters in your class, ask if you can transfer to another class. If you're dealing with haters in a club or group, think about whether you can find another group that's less negative.
- If you know that annoying person is always in the same place every day, don't go there. Find a detour or when passing by, ask friends to accompany you.
- Avoiding haters is the best way to boost your self-confidence. This gives you the opportunity to pursue your interests without being filled with negative thoughts.
Step 4. Prove them wrong
If people who hate you say you can't do something, the best way to silence them is to show off your skills. Do what they say you can't do, and do it well. Make their hatred a driving force.
- For example, if people who hate you say you can't exercise, show them that they were wrong by trying hard. Join the sports team of your choice if you haven't already and practice.
- If your haters think you're too scared to talk to your crush, use that as motivation so you can finally ask her out.
- Realize that proving haters wrong doesn't always keep them quiet. In some ways, your success can make the haters even more jealous. Don't let this get in the way of your success, but don't do anything just to show off your skills. Live your own life.
Method 2 of 4: Confronting the Haters
Step 1. Speak
If you can't take it anymore, don't be silent. Avoiding haters doesn't always solve the problem. Look for opportunities to speak honestly with these people, and try to explain your background. Talk to each person who hates you as a mature and conscientious equal no matter how rude that person used to be. This is especially important for passive haters, who don't make fun of you directly.
- Try saying to your hater: "I've been feeling very negative towards me lately, and I'd appreciate it if you kept that to yourself. That's childish, and I don't want to deal with that anymore."
- Try to understand why the person who hates you behaves this way. Ask him: "Have I personally done anything wrong to you? You seem to be doing negative things to me, and I don't understand why."
Step 2. Don't be rash
Haters love it when you get emotional. If you respond quickly and emotionally, you may not be able to show your strength. If you are angry, they will have more reason to make you a victim. Don't let your words be filled with anger and frustration. Be calm before responding.
Step 3. Avoid physical violence
Deal with conflicts with measured words and confident maturity. If hatred is like fire, be water and extinguish it. Calm down and control yourself. Fire cannot be fought with fire.
Even if you never start a fight, don't let the haters hurt you. Learn to defend and protect yourself. Divert the attacker's power to attack himself
Method 3 of 4: Dealing with Bullies in Cyberspace
Step 1. Don't respond to people who make bad comments
The haters you meet on the internet are sometimes more stubborn than those you meet on a daily basis. However, remember their motivation is usually the same: they want a reaction from you. Fortunately, there are many ways to silence bullies on the internet.
- Block people like to annoy it. Most platforms in cyberspace allow you to block communications from certain users. Use this feature to prevent the hater from contacting you. In many forums, this feature can even hide the posts that are set to public so you won't see them so they don't ruin your day.
- Check game rules or website. Most prohibit hateful, threatening, or contentious communications. Instead of responding to such attacks, report them to a moderator.
Step 2. Protect your privacy
Don't use your real name outside of Facebook or professional websites. This is especially so if you have a unique name that is easily searchable by search engines. Use nicknames when playing games or uploading things on forums. It's a good idea to use a different nickname so that hateful people don't continue to stalk you on various websites.
- Always remember that anything you put on the internet has the potential to be accessible forever. Even if you think the forum is private or you've deleted something, a hater can easily download or take a screenshot for later use. Think before uploading.
- Especially if you are a child, you have to be extra careful with the information you convey in cyberspace. Don't post anything that could give the stalker a clue about your home address or your daily schedule.
Step 3. Tell someone if you feel threatened
If your haters are no longer just mocking but threatening outright, simply ignoring them may not be enough. If this has happened to you, tell someone you trust. If you are a child, share this with your parents or guardian.
Don't delete anything. Even if you're tempted to erase these hurtful words, it's best to keep them. Save all emails, messages, and entire conversations. Some types of bullying on the internet are illegal. If things get so bad that you need the intervention of the authorities, you need proof of what happened
Step 4. Accept criticism gratefully
If you run a business, you may get negative reviews on the internet. Anonymity on the internet can encourage disgruntled people to speak much more harshly than if they were dealing with you face to face. Don't let their words ruin your confidence, but think carefully. Just because someone says negative doesn't mean it's wrong. It's best to think of these "haters" as harsh critics. The same is true if you are a writer or artist and post your work on the internet. Bad comments like this are clearly different from nuisance and should be dealt with differently.
- Try responding to critics with personal comments. Be empathetic, logical, and polite. Offer a solution. Don't try to respond to anger with thoughtless words.
- Don't mind it at all. It's hard to please everyone, and it's hard to have a meaningful relationship with someone in the comments. This is especially true when someone has a habit of conveying hate speech. This is how it appears in cyberspace. Some people can hate you for certain things that other people like.
Method 4 of 4: Keep a Healthy Mind
Step 1. Maintain a good outlook
Maybe right now you are very annoyed by people who hate you, and they may be making your life difficult, but think about whether it really matters. Chances are before you know it, your thoughts will be completely different. Life is always changing, according to its nature. Don't let the haters dominate your life because they are just a minor unpleasant aspect of life.
Step 2. Remember that the experience is only temporary
Think about how long you're going to have to deal with the haters. Imagine yourself five years into the future. Think about where you are going and what you want to do. Ask yourself if the haters will still be a part of your life. Chances are you know the haters at school. Then, a few years later, you won't see those haters again. Hold on until then.
- If those haters are still going to be a part of your life in the next five years, ask yourself what you would do to change that. Can you change schools? Can you change yourself? Are you now able to face them and solve the problem?
- If haters won't be a part of your life in five years, think about why. Maybe you're going to college, changing jobs, or changing social circles. Is there any other way to speed up this change?
Step 3. Forgive the haters
Know that hatred will return to the person who spreads it. These people likely don't hate you for your faults or shortcomings. Chances are in some ways they are uncomfortable with their own identity. Some people even behave hatefully out of envy, or because they don't reflect on the impact their words have on others. Be empathetic to keep your heart open.
- If you forgive the haters, their words won't bother you anymore. Try to understand their background. Raise your awareness beyond your own experience and discomfort.
- Do not consider forgiving the same as condescending. Avoid telling yourself that haters are stupid, petty, or narrow-minded even if it's true. Remind yourself that haters are human beings with thoughts and feelings.
Tips
- Always remember to stay strong. A strong character can always beat the opinion of the crowd.
- Don't incite hatred. Don't act pretentious or annoying.
- The next time someone raises their middle finger or swears at you, make a peace gesture.
- Remember, if you're hated, it's usually none of your business. If you're innocent, it's okay if you get hated for a small reason. If people have that kind of problem with you, they should be old enough to leave you alone.
- If the reason for the hatred is due to issues of gender, ethnicity, religion, disability, or sexual orientation, you should not allow it. If this happens at school, tell the teacher or principal. If this is happening at your workplace, talk to your supervisor or personnel.
- Don't let other people's opinions fill your mind. There are better things to think about and you can focus on more positive things.
- It's okay if people hate you. You can't please everyone at once, and you'll meet people who don't like you for petty reasons or envy. If someone hates you, be proud that you did something interesting.
- Before things get any worse, it's best to confront the hater from the start. Maybe he actually doesn't like you because of some misunderstanding. If you don't try to explain everything, you may lose an important friendship.
- Don't want those people to be a part of your life forever? Surround yourself with people who make you happy.
Warning
- Don't get into fights. You could get into trouble at school or even get into trouble with the law.
- Don't take revenge. Chances are you'll even get hit by the stone yourself.
