Dealing with bullying is certainly not a pleasant situation. You may feel insecure, sad or depressed. The bullying you experience may also keep you from going to school. However, there are steps you can take to deal with the bullying that occurs. If the bullying is severe enough, make sure you always tell an adult to help you deal with the situation.
Step
Method 1 of 5: Dealing with Ongoing Bullying
Step 1. Take a break and don't take action right away
When you face bullying, you may feel panicked and unable to think clearly. Therefore, take a few deep breaths and pay attention to what is happening to you.
- It is important to breathe deeply so that you can feel calmer.
- By trying to observe what is happening, you can identify and 'label' what is really going on. This can help you take the next step.
Step 2. Try to show your assertiveness or strength
Sometimes, bullies will back down if you show assertiveness or courage. Look the perpetrator right in the eye and show your firmness or 'strength' as much as possible. In other words, try to stand up straight and don't look lethargic.
Try to practice your assertiveness or stance by standing in front of a mirror, and looking at yourself with a firm gaze
Step 3. Tell the bully what you want from him
Once you know and pay attention to what is happening, you can determine what should happen next. You may not be able to simply get the abuser to do what you want, but sometimes by telling him what you want, the bullying can be stopped.
- For example, you could say “I want you to stop throwing papers at me. You think it's funny, but I don't think it's funny. Stop bothering me."
- Alternatively, you could say, for example, "I know you're laughing at me. I want you to stop laughing at me.”
Step 4. Stay calm
Bullies make you angry. Usually, the abuser expects that kind of response so that when you are angry, your anger will only make him feel proud and satisfied. Therefore, try to remain calm by breathing deeply when bullying occurs.
- You can also 'surprise' or respond with a joke. Responses with jokes can 'turn off' the bullying he does because the responses he gets are not in line with his expectations.
- For example, if someone keeps throwing paper balls at you during class, you might say, "Is your pitch that bad that it doesn't go in the trash?"
Step 5. Get help
Even if you feel compelled to simply run away without a second thought, it's a good idea to think for a moment about a place where you can feel comfortable. If you just run away, the bullies can follow you. However, if you run to a safe place, the bullying can be stopped.
- For example, you can run to a class occupied by people.
- Another option is to enter a room currently occupied by an adult.
Step 6. Record the bullying you experienced
After school, write down what happened from your perspective. This way, when you tell an adult what you're going through, you have something to show. If the bullying happened more than once, try to include information about the approximate time of the incident (eg date and time).
It's a good idea to record the details of the incident because some schools view bullying as something that happens over and over again
Method 2 of 5: Dealing with Bullying in Cyberspace (Cyberbullying)
Step 1. Take advantage of existing technology
Since bullying can be done through electronic devices, you can also use technology to deal with it. Many phones and websites have features to block people who are rude to you.
- For example, you can block incoming messages and calls from certain people on your phone.
- On websites like Facebook, try unfriending and/or blocking the person who annoys you.
Step 2. Don't serve bullies
Perpetrators of cyber or internet bullying are sometimes referred to as trolls (you may have heard the term). In relation to cyberspace, there is an English proverb that says "Don't feed the trolls " (more or less it means "Don't serve the bullies"). This means that the perpetrator of bullying does not get satisfaction from his behavior if the victim of bullying does not respond to it at all. Try to ignore people who try to bully you. If someone bullies you on a certain site, try not to visit that site as much as possible so you don't have to read the hateful posts he sends. This way, you won't be compelled to respond.
Step 3. Record or retain evidence of bullying
As with bullying that occurs in the real world, it's a good idea to save and prepare evidence of bullying. Save the emails and messages sent by the perpetrator, and even screenshots or screenshots of the bullying that took place. In addition, also note the date and time of the incident. This is done to make it easier for sites and companies to stop bullying perpetrators because you can provide this information.
Step 4. Report bullying
You can report bullying on a website if it's on a social media site, for example. You can also report it to the school if you know the bully is a student or someone from the school. If the bullying is more severe (e.g. the perpetrator sends a photo of you that you find indecent), you can report the perpetrator to the police. Make sure you have evidence when you report it.
Step 5. Take care of your own safety
Never share or post personal information on the internet. For example, don't include your home address or phone number. Bullies and other attackers can use that information to find you, so make sure you don't share as much personal information as possible with people who may have bad intentions for you.
Method 3 of 5: Dealing with Repeated Severe Bullying
Step 1. Tell an adult
If you are experiencing bullying, it is important to immediately tell someone you can trust. Talk to your teacher, coach, or parents. It's their job to step in and help you deal with the bullies so make sure you let them know.
Talking to an adult is a good and important thing to do, especially if you are experiencing physical bullying or feel that the bully will be more violent or aggressive in the future
Step 2. Ask them to help you plan
Adults can help you stop bullying. He or she can also help you plan for dealing with situations that involve bullying. Ask them to tell you and teach you how to deal with bullies.
For example, an adult can help you figure out ways to avoid being alone when you walk through the halls of the classroom
Step 3. Stay in a group or with other friends
Perpetrators of bullying often distance their victims from other people (or look for victims who are alone) when they want to carry out bullying. If you frequently go out alone, you are more at risk of becoming a target for bullying. Therefore, try to walk to class with your friends, or stay in places that are under teacher supervision.
Stay away from places that you think are lonely or empty. For example, if the gym is usually empty after school hours, try not to go there and go somewhere else (eg the library)
Step 4. Try to make friends with other people
If you're not an outgoing person or are hard to get along with, making new friends can be challenging. It's okay if you feel shy when trying to meet and make friends with other people. However, having friends makes you less vulnerable to bullying. In addition, with friends, you can chat and familiarize yourself with them between class hours.
- Try talking to someone in your class or at a club you join. You can tell what you did to start a conversation. For example, you could say “Hi, my name is Upin. Nice to meet you. These math practice questions are hard, aren't they?”
- Get used to talking or chatting with the same people. Over time, you will get to know them better. For example, if you see someone in the cafeteria, ask if you can sit with them. You can say, “Hey, we're classmates, you know! Yesterday we had a chance to talk about difficult practice questions. May I sit with you?"
- One way to get to know someone is to encourage them to talk about themselves. The best way to do this is to ask him questions. You can ask about what he likes or his family. You can also ask him about his favorite subjects or activities he usually does for fun.
- Don't forget to be kind to others. By doing good, people will like you more. For example, show your class notes that you wrote to your friend if he can't come to school, or help your friend to understand and do his homework if he finds it difficult.
Step 5. Ask if you are allowed to change schools
If the situation is very bad, ask if you are allowed to change schools. Although it can be done, this step may be difficult, especially if you study in a city that applies a rayon or cluster system (eg students from cluster three schools sometimes cannot be transferred to cluster one schools).
- Ask your parents to talk to the board or principal so you can transfer to another school. Going to a new school can give you a fresh start.
- If you live in the United States, you can transfer to a charter school (a school whose status is somewhere between a public school and a private school), although the process may be a bit difficult if the transfer is done in the middle of the semester or year. In Indonesia, one of the options you can take is moving to a private school. It's a good idea to ask his parents to help find the right choice.
Method 4 of 5: Mediating When Someone Is Bullied
Step 1. Feel free to speak up
If you see someone being bullied, tell the abuser to stop bullying them. It does take courage to be able to mediate like that, but in that way you can become a hero to victims of bullying. Sometimes, the perpetrator will stop bullying even though there is only one person who dares to speak up and defend the victim.
For example, you could say, “Hey, leave him! What did he do to you that you bullied him like that?”
Step 2. Don't make bullying a spectacle
Even if you don't mediate or stop bullying, it's important not to encourage or support bullying as it happens. This means that you should not join in laughing at someone who is being bullied.
- If you just watch and laugh, you are also participating in the bullying because you make the bullying a spectacle (the perpetrator will feel supported too).
- Even simply standing and watching without laughing can be seen as support for bullying that occurs because you 'make' the bullying of the victim a spectacle.
- This doesn't mean that you should just walk away. If you don't dare to stop the suppression or mediate between the two sides, follow the next steps.
Step 3. Tell an adult
If you don't want to mediate yourself, talk to an adult. Find an adult in a nearby classroom, or report it to the school counselor. This way, there is an adult who can mediate and handle the situation.
Method 5 of 5: Preventing Bullying
Step 1. Build self-confidence
Bullies tend to attack children who are not confident in themselves. If you can build self-confidence, you can prevent bullying from happening in the future.
- Show a 'strength' pose. Several studies show that by being confident, you can build self-confidence. Generally, when you show a 'strength' pose, you make yourself appear 'bigger' or stronger. For example, you can put your hands on your hips and spread your legs apart to show your strength pose. Don't forget to raise your head! Try holding the pose that makes you feel stronger for two minutes.
- Master new skills. Another way to build confidence is to master a new skill. As you master these skills, your confidence will increase.
- Exercise or join a sports team. Exercise can make you feel stronger and more confident. In addition, you should also exercise so that your body is healthy and your self-confidence can increase. If you feel the need to protect yourself, martial arts can be a good choice.
Step 2. Develop communication skills
Communication skills are how you interact with other students and teachers. Basically, this ability has to do with how you show yourself to others. If you have or master basic communication skills, people will view you as a more assertive person. This means, you are able to convince and believe, and dare to speak for yourself. The more assertive you are, the less likely you are to experience bullying.
- Assertiveness includes the ability to talk to others to show you what you want, without being rude. For example, instead of saying, “Why are you giving me such a tedious task?” You can say, “Can I clean the whiteboard eraser next week?”
- By communicating appropriately, you can provide initial ideas, ask friendly questions, and even provide support. For example, when your friend is successful at something, you can say, “You're great! Good work!"
Step 3. Encourage empathy
Empathy allows you to feel what other people feel. To be empathetic, you have to listen to what the other person is going through and try to understand the hurt he or she is feeling. While sometimes it's hard to encourage empathy, bullying probably won't happen if every student can empathize with one another.
- Pay attention to the people around you. The first step to being empathetic is to pay attention to the people around you. Look at his face to find out how he is feeling. Usually you can tell that someone is angry when you see them. His forehead may be furrowed, his eyes watery, or his face may appear flushed.
- Talk to the person. If you see someone looking sad or upset, ask how they are. You can say, “Hey, what's up? You look lethargic." After that, listen carefully to the answer.
- Even if you don't feel what the other person is feeling, it's important to show sympathy for what the other person is going through. This means that you need to respond to his words in a friendly manner. For example, if your friend tells you “I have bad news. My dog is sick." You can say, “Oh, what a shame. I would also feel sad if my dog was sick. I know you must be very sad right now.”
Step 4. Don't take revenge
The bullying you experience may make you want to vent your anger. You may also be compelled to threaten the bully back. However, if you do, you too will become a bully and the problem will only get worse.
- In addition, your retaliation may trigger the bully to attack you even more. Of course, that will only hurt you more.
- If you try to take revenge, you too will be blamed even if the bully is the one looking for trouble first.
