Making friends with men can be fun, but on birthdays or other celebrations, you might have a hard time deciding on the right gift. Chances are, you want to give him something that shows you care about him, but are afraid to give him something he doesn't like. Or worse, you're worried about giving him something that makes him think you like him romantically. Don't worry, by choosing the right gift, making it clear that you're not romantically interested in him, and avoiding common mistakes, you'll see a happy reaction (without any romantic feelings at all) from your male best friend.
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Part 1 of 2: Choosing the Right Gift
Step 1. Give him something that fits his interest
Since he and you are best friends, chances are you already know his hobbies and interests well. Providing something that matches your best friend's interests, or better yet, something that can help her do her hobby, is almost always a safe option. This type of gift is usually warmly received, because you're giving him something he likes and will actually use, and at the same time shows that you're considering the gift you choose.
If you're not sure what your guy best friend likes, take a moment to visit his house or apartment for clues, and pay attention to what's strewn on the floor or hanging on the walls. For example, if you're looking at a stack of Nintendo magazines, chances are he's a gamer, so giving away a new game or Nintendo display would be a great option. Similarly, if you see a "Metallica" poster on his wall, he's most likely a fan of the band, so concert DVDs or band-related items are a good choice
Step 2. Choose something she will find funny or entertaining
If you're afraid you won't be able to choose a gift that your best friend will like, choose something she finds funny or entertaining. He wouldn't have had time to think about the meaning of the gift if he had been too busy laughing out loud when he received it. You may want to give something that is a private joke between him and you, or choose something funny in general. The second option is more impersonal, but is less likely to give the wrong impression, so consider it carefully. Here are some ideas for your inspiration:
- Comedy films or stand-up comedy footage.
- Present-day gifts: T-shirts with funny writing, weird knick-knacks, weird games, and so on.
- Joke gifts: things you know he doesn't like (like the uniform of his favorite team's rival sports team), things that are out of date but funny (like those ugly 1970s glasses), or other weird, obscure gifts (like a bag of potatoes) etc.
- Something funny is taken from the name. For example, if his name is Brian, consider buying a Life of Brian movie poster.
Step 3. Give something useful
One surefire way to make your best friend happy and at the same time keep misunderstandings away is to give them something useful, that is, something that works for them, but doesn't have to be "warm" or close. For example, if your boyfriend spends a lot of time lifting weights at the gym, you might want to consider buying him a pair of fingerless weightlifting gloves, sweatpants, or even some weights to use at home. A gift like this will show that you care about what he likes, while not risking offending him or appearing overly romantic.
- This kind of gift, of course, sometimes runs the risk of appearing "cold" and less personal. Giving something useful to someone you've known for a long time might hurt your best friend's feelings if she's sensitive to this sort of thing, so you need to be aware of this possibility.
- You may also want to keep in mind that a gift of a useful object like this can send an unintentionally rude message. For example, while a free subscription to a health magazine may be helpful, it can make him think he needs to lose weight.
Step 4. Give him something he can share with his friends
Another great way to show your boyfriend's appreciation without sending the wrong message is to give him gifts to share with his "friends" (which, of course, includes you, although you don't have to choose a gift that you personally like too). For example, if your boyfriend is forming a band with his other friends, it's a good idea to give him a special T-shirt with the band's name on it. You might also be able to give it a rhythm-based game like "Guitar Hero". That way, you can play them together.
- If your male best friend has a boyfriend, the same principle applies. So you might want to consider getting something for both of them. For example, two tickets to their favorite music concert are a great way to give your best friend a chance to enjoy a night out with their loved one (with or without you, it's your choice).
- It's also a great way to defuse tension if you've recently had a disagreement with some of his friends. If you give him something that he, you, and the rest of your friends can share, you're basically signaling to make things up with everyone.
Step 5. Give a masculine gift
Giving something that reflects his masculine nature or image as a real man is usually a pretty safe choice. Items such as pocket knives, watches, driving accessories and so on would make memorable gifts and would suit most men young and old alike. Here are some more ideas:
- Tie
- Tools
- Belt
- Shaving equipment
- Wallets (many men rarely buy new wallets, so this gift will be especially appreciated.)
Step 6. Save up and make something yourself
Your gift doesn't have to be expensive or very memorable. Making your own gifts from scratch is a great way to show that you really care about your best friend, and while these kinds of gifts are often cheaper than buying them at the store, the extra time and attention you give will usually make them all the more meaningful. Below are some DIY gift ideas to inspire you, but don't be afraid to get creative and make your own!
- Artwork you create (such as a painting, drawing, or sculpture)
- Handicrafts (such as furniture, surfboards, laptop tables, etc.)
- Hand knitted items or clothing (such as hats or knitted gloves)
- Some home-made foods (such as pastries or brownies, the important thing is that non-perishable foods are the best choices)
- A song that you write and sing (if you really dare!)
Step 7. If you are in doubt, just give a shopping voucher
If you're really worried about giving your best friend the wrong gift, let her choose it herself! Shopping vouchers are a great way to show that you care, without risking a more personalized gift. Many people even prefer this kind of gift to ordinary gifts. In fact, statistically speaking, the more widely your voucher is used, the more likely someone is to like it. Best of all, these vouchers are also very easy to buy - you can usually buy them at convenience stores on the way to your best friend's birthday party.
Step 8. Don't be afraid to ask questions
Men are often reluctant to say what they want as a gift, especially for birthdays, Christmas, and so on. Some men are shy about asking other people for gifts, while others don't really care about what gifts they are about to receive. Things like this can make it difficult for you to shop for gifts, so don't hesitate to force your best friend to tell you what she wants (in a polite way, of course). Usually a guy who doesn't say what he wants has something he likes secretly, so start digging for information from him!
Part 2 of 2: Avoiding Romance
Step 1. Stay away from couple gifts
No matter what you mean, some gifts have a romantic feel that's hard to ignore, so you should avoid them. As a general rule, anything you might consider as a Valentine's Day gift for your partner should be shunned in a purely friendly relationship. The consequences of breaking this rule can be dire (especially if your best friend has a boyfriend), so be careful! The following are some examples of gifts that are considered romantic that you should avoid:
- Cologne or personal fragrance
- Flower
- Tie clips, or other jewelry
- Chocolate or other expensive sweets (especially those packaged in elegant and stylish boxes)
- Expensive accessories (e.g. Rolex watches, fancy pens, etc.)
- Seductive outfits (cute t-shirts are fine, but silk panties, cotton terry coats, stylish jackets and so on are too personal for best friends)
- Event tickets just for you and him
Step 2. Write a funny or "safe" saying
Often, it's not the gift itself that makes him think you like him, but the message that comes with it. It's easy to mistake a friend's kindness and affection for something more serious, so you may want to avoid it altogether by writing a very non-serious message on your card. Some men who are easily carried away may see romantic signals from even the cutest greeting cards, but the risks are far less than writing a sincere, heartfelt message. Below are some examples of ideas for creating messages in greeting cards that are distracting but funny:
- Write in SMS language (for example, "B4ngUn, m3t birthday. M4kaci. dri t3m4nmU.")
- Make trivial jokes (e.g. "I don't know if you know or not, but picking out this card is really hard. You can give it back to me too, so I can use it for Ami's birthday next week. Oh yeah, happy birthday.")
- Coral is a nice abbreviation for its name (eg for a friend named Brian: B - brave / R - friendly / etc.)
- Draw odd or flat embellishments around the edges.
Step 3. Give a casual impression when giving gifts
It's not just about "what" you give him, but also about "how" you give it. Worrying about your best friend's reaction can raise strange questions, even if the gift is something as common as a cell phone case. On the other hand, giving your best friend a gift in a casual and casual manner (as if you don't think her reaction is too important) can get you out of trouble.
However, there is a point of balance you have to strike here. Being too casual can be considered rude. For example, leaving an anonymous package of gifts in front of his house and not telling him for a week can suggest that you don't really care about your best friend. You may know him better than anyone else, so try to consider his sensitivity
Step 4. When in doubt, consider collecting dues and buying gifts together
Buying gifts together with other people is a way to save money when buying expensive gifts, as well as a perfect way to avoid the wrong impression. Considering a gift bought together as a romantic gift from you to a best friend is a very difficult thing to do. Plus, there's a good chance you don't have to choose one yourself! Best of all, a simple and polite message on a greeting card will be the only personal touch a gift needs, so you don't have to write a personal message that risks disrupting your relationship.
Step 5. If all of this doesn't work, hint that you're just friends
If you're really worried about your gift being misunderstood, use a greeting card to describe your friendship. Do your best to describe you and him as - friends, that's all. Use words like "buddy," "friend," and so on. Avoid terms that could be perceived as romantic, such as referring to yourself as a "special friend" or closing your remarks with "yours."
Unfortunately, for some men, even this will not be enough. In this case, you may need to ignore the love from your best friend until he or she is no longer interested. If he's too annoying to ignore, most personal relationship guides will advise you to be firm by saying directly that you don't want to ruin the friendship with a romantic relationship. Read our other articles on this subject for more guidance
Tips
- Believe it or not, some websites are specifically designed to talk about this. Look for the perfect gift on sites like "Menmerch.com", "Coolthings.com", and others. These websites are a great choice if you don't have where to start.
- Voucher for his favorite restaurant.
