While every marriage is different, there are certain universal guidelines that every married man--and woman--must obey. Read this article to learn how to keep your marriage strong and be the best husband possible.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Step 1. Learn how to communicate
Open and honest communication is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship, and the key is building trust. Without good communication, a simple misunderstanding can turn into a full-blown argument. Keep your relationship strong and avoid overly arguing by simply expressing yourself on a regular basis.
- Discuss problems that arise instead of holding them in and becoming angry over time.
- Learn how to be diplomatic during an argument. Try not to get too defensive if your wife criticizes you. Likewise, try not to sound accusatory or angry when raising issues with him.
- Listen to him. Being a good communicator isn't just knowing how to talk. It's important to give your wife undivided attention when she talks. Look him in the eye, ask him questions, and don't look at your phone or computer screen if he's talking about something important.
- If you're in a bad mood for whatever reason, then say it explicitly instead of ignoring him or being rude to him. This way, he can give you the space you need without taking your attitude to heart.
Step 2. Be willing to compromise
A healthy relationship is a reciprocal relationship. Throughout the course of your marriage, you will inevitably have to give up on certain things to make him happy, and vice versa. If one of you often gives in to demands without getting anything back, there's likely to be some hate down the road.
Step 3. Take time apart when needed
In any long-term relationship, it's natural for one or both parties to need some alone time to rest and focus on themselves. There's nothing wrong with needing some time apart, but it's very important to bring it up and make sure that he doesn't have to take it to heart.
- Set a "free" day a week or month where you can do your own thing, and let him do the same. If you have kids, you can keep an eye on them while one is out.
- Never lie to your wife to avoid having to spend time with her. If he really loves you, he'll understand if you need to be alone or spend the night outside with the guys.
Method 2 of 3: How to Be At Home
Step 1. Help at home
Studies have shown that the average woman spends 10 hours more each week doing housework than her husband does! Excessive housework and other activities that cause stress can reduce sexual desire in both men and women. Help balance the workload by washing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, doing yard work, handling repairs, and so on.
- The key to helping at home is when you're not even explicitly asked to do so. Remember that it is your responsibility as much as your wife's to keep the house clean and tidy.
- If you have kids, help your wife by offering to pick the kids up from school, watch over them when she's busy, and so on.
Step 2. Respect her hygiene standards
Some people are more comfortable living in a messy environment than others. To ensure that you both feel comfortable in your own home, make sure your home meets the standards of whoever is most critical of cleanliness.
Just because you don't have a problem with dirty dishes left overnight in the sink, your wife probably doesn't, and you should respect that. If your wife is a messy person, occasionally gently remind her to clean up her surroundings
Step 3. Clean up yourself
Even if your schedule doesn't leave extra time to do household chores, there's no excuse not to clean up the mess you've made yourself. The least you can do is wash your own dishes, put your clothes down, and take care of your own dirty clothes.
If you're too busy during the week, then devote an hour or two each weekend to cooking, cleaning, and/or doing housework
Step 4. Keep some mysteries intact
Living with other people means being unwary and seeing each other's less attractive sides. While this level of comfort is a true sign of intimacy, over time it can also damage the level of sexual attraction you feel for each other.
Maintain your personal hygiene, respect shower etiquette, and try to stay in good shape
Method 3 of 3: Small Body Language with Big Impact
Step 1. Get physical contact every day
Getting regular skin-to-skin contact releases a chemical called oxytocin, which reduces stress and adds a sense of intimacy in the long run.
Physical contact doesn't always mean sex. Kiss her goodbye every time you're apart, hug her when you see each other again, and cuddle while watching a good movie
Step 2. Laugh together
Every marriage has its ups and downs, and the only way to get through the tough times is to maintain a sense of humor and be silly every now and then. You don't have to be a lone comedian, but you should make an effort to make him smile (and your own) every day.
- Get tickets for a live comedy show, entertain a night out with friends, or work out together; anything to keep the laughter going!
- Getting regular laughter will not only improve your marriage, it can actually improve your health by lowering your blood pressure, increasing oxygen flow to the brain, and reducing stress levels.
Step 3. Surprise him
Just because you've put a ring on her finger doesn't mean you have to stop trying to win her affection. Every once in a while, make a sweet romantic body language that you did at the beginning of the relationship. Bring her flowers, get tickets to her favorite show, or plan a romantic afternoon surprise.
Tips
- If you and your wife fight a lot, it may be helpful to get couples therapy. Getting an objective person's point of view can help you and your wife reach a healthy compromise, and may give you some insight that you wouldn't have been able to reach alone.
- As your marriage develops, you will learn more and more about your wife's habits, patterns, and preferences. Learning to appreciate her quirks will help you grow closer and form a deeper level of intimacy.
