When you're new to romance, sharing your love for someone else seems easy and natural. However, after marriage, what often happens to many couples is that one or both partners feel as if they are not appreciated. Don't let another day go by without strengthening your love for your partner. Follow these steps to show your partner that you really love him.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Showing Love Through Action
Step 1. Start small
Little things can make a big difference if you put a little idea and feeling into them. Your wife or husband naturally wants to know that, at the end of the day, you are thinking of him. All of the following can be done with little to no money.
- Take her for a walk around the house after dinner.
- Turn one of the rooms into a dance floor and invite your partner to dance.
- Take him camping in the backyard.
- Read a book to your partner in bed (with or without a cute blurb).
- Go to the gym together (some couples believe that after a workout, sex is great).
- Talk about ideas for a romantic getaway and plan to surprise him.
Step 2. Pay more attention gradually
It's nice to do simple, mundane actions but with greater care, make it something that means a lot to him. This takes a little more work and may cost (some, though not very much) money, but it's worth it when your partner is screaming in excitement or feeling a burst of joy.
- Make a video montage about your wedding night.
- Call your in-laws to plan a surprise birthday party.
- Recreate your first date, your first kiss, or your first fight.
- Write and record a love song for your partner (either sincere or joking).
- Write a book of fiction that tells the story of the beginning of your relationship.
Step 3. Show your love through sincere actions
You can do simple things, like fill the tub, give a massage, wash the dishes, or write a poem. Choose an action that you know your partner will appreciate. Remember, if you don't want to do it, don't do it with a heavy heart or grumble. If you do an action that shows your affection, but you do it dragging your feet or not being sincere, you should not do it.
- Buy him something when you know he really wants it. If your husband wants a handyman set, or your wife wants a Fendi-branded handbag, she may be disappointed in your well-meaning efforts to give them or make them something similar.
- Make them something that can show your efforts. It doesn't take a lot of effort to buy your partner something you know they want, but it definitely takes effort to think up a poem, write it down, and frame it. This shows real commitment.
- Small but frequent touches are easier than large but one-time touches. If you think you can improvise and correct the consequences of your neglect, then sorry: it's much easier to do small things for your partner on a regular basis than to do very, very rarely. Do small things but constantly.
Step 4. Take time to be around your partner
(This is something most couples don't realize, but it is a powerful expression of loving someone.) Turn off the phone, TV, computer, and radio and sit down together to feel each other. By being near your husband or wife, it will form an attitude of serving one another. Therefore, be near your partner to love him.
- Go on a date at least once a month. Kids, busy schedules, and apathy can be put off, but the two of you should go out to dinner or a movie together at least once a month. These moments go a long way in rekindling the fire of your marriage.
- When in doubt, ask a question. People love to talk about themselves, and so does your partner. Shower him with big questions like "how," "what" or "when" rather than simple questions that only require a "yes/no" answer. Great conversation depends on great questions. Be a conversation expert.
- Get to know his past well. Some couples are surprised to learn, after years, of everyday details about their partner's past. By showing an interest in his past, you are showing him that you really care about who he is. Don't lie, honestly admit your mistakes. This shows you trust each other and he is willing to accept your past.
Method 2 of 3: Expressing Love Through Words
Step 1. Say your love
Clear communication will let your partner know how much you love him. Talking about your experiences is a way of giving yourself away for your partner to hear. You can say, "My heart beats fast when you walk into the room" or "I think about you all day, and every time I do, I smile." Say what's really in your heart.
- Praise your partner's talents and accomplishments. If you haven't already, find out what your partner is unique about and special about. Take the time to show him all of that. If your husband considers himself intellectual, praise him for his intelligence; if your wife considers herself a fashion savvy, compliment her for her style.
- Get in the habit of talking about feelings. Don't shy away from talking about how you're feeling. Have a dialogue about how your partner is feeling. Share your experiences during the day even about unimportant things, as this will make your partner feel more directly involved in your life.
Step 2. Speak the truth
Talking honestly with your partner is a way to show your love because it shows trust and respect. A true truth doesn't always have to be a positive thing. What is important is honesty in it. Show your partner unconditional love, but not unconditional acceptance. Also, you must always be willing to accept corrections from your partner. This helps each of you to grow and develop into better people and strengthen your relationship, not build your relationship in a fantasy or a lie.
- Don't raise your voice, use emotional words, or generalize your use of words like "always" and "constantly." These things make the truth more painful than it needs to be.
- Don't fall into the entrenched notion that loving means never trying to help her become a better person. Trust that your partner really wants you to tell him the truth. You should try to encourage each other to continue to do things that can make each of you and your relationship better.
- Use good word choice to highlight your partner's weaknesses and offer constructive suggestions on how to improve them. If your partner is a very sensitive person, balance criticism with praise. So that he understands what he needs to improve in himself, don't lie and say that he is perfect in whatever he does, point out what they need to improve, help him to become a better person in a positive way.
Step 3. Find out the "Love Language" your partner likes
Does he know you love him when you say words of love? Or maybe he feels loved by what you did? Some people feel loved by receiving small gifts, and others because of a loving touch. True love is not based on your preferences but on your partner.
- The things men might think about women: a little physical affection is enough. Men don't often show physical affection, and sometimes a little touch like a kiss on the neck or a spontaneous hug is just what your wife needs. Don't take it as consolation; think of it as an achievement.
- The things that women might think about men: Men sometimes think that physical affection is unnecessary or even spoiled. It's not that you can't show your love; just realize that it doesn't matter to him. Give your husband time to voice his emotions, and don't punish him if he can't.
Method 3 of 3: Showing Love Through Trust
Step 1. Remember that actions often speak louder than words
Don't just talk, do something. Sometimes your partner will get annoyed when you keep saying that you are going to do something, but you are never there to do it. If your words are not based on your initiative, it will appear that you are not serious and your partner will trust you less.
Don't make excuses. Excuses may make sense to you, but they sound like excuses to your partner. Don't bring your past "mistakes" into your new relationship, this can also be seen as an excuse, no matter what the situation, abuse, hurt, financial difficulties, don't bring it up. Anything can be overcome and resolved over time. Talk about this with your partner, then leave this problem in the past, don't continue to use it as a crutch in your future. Men or women, admit when you made a mistake, and try to make it better next time. Your partner will see it
Step 2. Trust that your partner understands your efforts
Love is not a competition: It's not about getting your due or being "balanced" with your partner. Trust that your partner realizes how lucky he is to have you.
- Don't always ask for proof. Proving yourself is important, but learn to do things without getting proof of yourself, even if you really, really want to. You may have just given your wife an amazing gift, and for some reason, she's not very grateful; trust that he appreciates your gift and effort, and don't dwell on the lack of self-evident.
- Trust your partner when he is alone. Unless there is a history of infidelity, trust your partner to take responsibility, keep loving even if you are not around. If he's out for a beer with his friends, or is at a bachelorette party, trust him. You'd be surprised that he respects your trust if you actually trust him.
Step 3. Remember what love is
Love is an act based on will, not on warm feelings or clever expressions based on experience. Although love is different for everyone, and everyone shows it differently, love often requires you to deny yourself and try to meet the needs of the person you love.
- Think about the last time your partner made you smile. What does he do to make you feel that you are the luckiest person in the world? Is there anything you can do that might make him feel the same way for you?
- Do your best to please your partner. The modern world has kept us busy; we are constantly doing things, and it seems we never have enough time to do them. Will you work yourself to help your partner do something he or she should do, that he or she doesn't like to do, or something that he or she will appreciate?
Change your wife's car oil; iron your husband's shirt before an important office event or interview; help out in the kitchen so the two of you can enjoy the evening together. #**buy him gifts in the form of shopping coupons or something and urge him to go shopping with his girlfriends; help mow lawns, clear gutters, or trim trees
Tips
- Remember, service and love are fundamentally related. Whatever your partner's needs are that you know, that's what you have to do to love them. When you start to insist on doing it your way or doing what you want, you stop showing your love for your partner. A marriage or relationship is not just about you, love is a fellowship, you put your partner's needs first. You have to be willing to look after him, protect him, and ensure his happiness above all else.
- Marriage takes effort. Listen to your partner, don't interrupt or interrupt what he or she is saying. Listening means really absorbing what your partner is saying - if you're planning in your mind what you're going to say next then you're not listening.
- You can make mistakes in love, which is why forgiveness is such an important part of your marriage. However, people often attribute infidelity and lying to a fault. Infidelity is a choice, not a mistake. Mistakes are an argument over a small, unnecessary thing that forgets something your partner asked you not to lie or be unfaithful to. If you are a forgiving person, the more likely you are to be forgiven.
- Take your partner to different places like going to dinner, the movies, picnics or vacations. Don't go to places you've been with your exes. Both of you will feel awkward about this. Go to new places, learn new things. Learning new things together will help build your relationship and help you get to know each other better.
- For men, take care of your wife whenever she dresses for any occasion by picking something new and complimenting her. When you're shopping with him, show him some of the available options (according to his taste) and if you don't like his choice, never express your disapproval.
