Promise rings are a symbol of commitment and are often thought of as pre-engagement rings. However, the ring can be given for different reasons – as a symbol of chastity, fidelity, monogamy, friendship, or even a promise to oneself to stay clean and sober. If you want to buy a promise ring for your lover to express your commitment, it is important to be clear, exactly, what you are promising.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Choosing a Ring
Step 1. Know the goal and predict the recipient's reaction
If you're giving a promise ring as a token of friendship, or to someone you just started dating, choose something simple and inexpensive. If your partner is expecting a wedding proposal, use a less traditional form of jewelry or make the decision to exchange promise rings at a later date so you don't disappoint him with a misunderstood surprise.
Step 2. Choose something the recipient will wear
If she's not wearing a ring, place the ring on a necklace chain or use a different “surprise gift.” Try to figure out the ring size by temporarily "borrowing" the ring and asking the jeweler to measure it.
- If the recipient has a job or hobby that could damage or scratch the ring (such as construction or rock climbing), choose a tough material such as titanium.
- If the ring is a promise to be engaged in the future, or a "wedding ring" for a couple who is not planning to get married, choose a ring that fits on the ring finger on the left hand, or wherever your partner plans to wear a wedding ring.
- For most other appointment rings, choose a ring that fits on any finger. (usually the ring finger on the right hand, which can be a different size than the left hand.)
Step 3. Look at the posy ring
Also known as a poésy ring, this is a metal ring with a poem, promise, or other love inscription engraved on the inside, adhering to the skin of the wearer. This is a very good choice, because this ring usually looks different from other wedding rings and can clearly indicate a promise.
- A jeweler can help you make your own posy ring by engraving a personal message from you to the recipient.
- Many posy rings quote Bible verses or other Christian writings, but this tradition has extended to secular societies or other religious couples.
Step 4. Consider the Claddagh ring
This ring originates from Ireland and depicts two hands united holding a heart symbol. A pictorial sign of love or friendship serves as a warm reminder of commitment.
Step 5. Inquire about making to order
Most jewelry makers are willing to design or customize a ring for you by adding a special element, such as an engraved message or a unique, distinct embellishment.
Step 6. Think of other options
Promise rings don't have to be so expensive or elaborate that they're mistaken for wedding rings, but rings with special meaning add more depth to the promise. Consider a ring made from the recipient's birthstone, or an engraved to order.
- If you can't afford jewelry, or if the recipient enjoys a less lavish gift, make your own jewelry or gift. Use materials or objects with special meaning in your relationship, if possible.
- Necklaces, earrings or other types of jewelry are equally good symbols. This is a wise choice especially when making promises to couples who are eager to accept marriage proposals; but you don't want to get him wrong.
- If you have trouble choosing, or simply like the idea, ask the recipient if he or she would like to exchange a promise ring, then talk together about choosing a suitable pair of rings.
Step 7. Find out the ring size
If you're going to give a ring as a surprise, try to find out without her knowing. Consider measuring another ring that will fit her perfectly, or ask your friends or family for help. If you're still in doubt, order a ring that can be resized.
Method 2 of 3: Arranging Gift Giving
Step 1. Choose a meaningful day
A promise ring might be appropriate as a gift on Christmas Day, Valentine's Day, or the recipient's birthday. If you are in a relationship, your annual anniversaries can be the right choice.
Step 2. Present the ring in a meaningful location
Go to the restaurant where you went on your first date, to the concert hall where you first met your friend, or any place where the two of you made happy memories together.
Step 3. Don't overdo it
This is not a marriage proposal. You don't need to hire a writer or arrange flash mob moves.
Step 4. Consider creating a treasure search game
Leave a written clue somewhere the recipient will find it, and have it hint at the next location. At the end of the chain, you will be there to present the promise ring.
- A detailed arrangement like this can be fun or romantic, but make sure the recipient will react well when he or she finds out it's a promise ring. This may be too early in the relationship to be a sign of serious commitment, or your partner may be expecting a proposal.
- Keep the instructions simple and clear; the point is not to confuse them! If the target likes puzzles, you can make the clues more difficult, but have a friend or you follow him secretly to meet and give him more clues if he feels stuck!
Step 5. Plan a day of activities
A day of fun spending time together is a great way to lead to a special moment. Consider the hike ending with a picnic, or making home-cooked meals.
If the unexpected ruins your day together, plan to present the ring another day
Step 6. Consider slipping the ring somewhere surprising
Hide the ring somewhere the potential wearer will find it, such as under his pillow or in his lunchbox. This can be part of another arrangement or on its own, depending on how big you want to build at the time.
If you won't be there when he finds you, put your promise in writing and follow it up with a personal statement
Method 3 of 3: Offering the Ring
Step 1. Show her the ring
Present her ring or other “promise gift” simply by opening the gift box and showing it to her; You don't want it to be mistaken for a marriage proposal. If you leave it somewhere secret for the recipient to find, give him time to understand it.
Step 2. State your promise
If there's a specific commitment you've made (such as avoiding drunkenness or fidelity), make it clear when you give the ring. Prepare a few words beforehand if you don't want to make it up spontaneously.
- Don't promise too much. Don't say you plan to marry the recipient one day unless you're ready to stick with it. Make your point clear, even if it's as simple as wanting to show your love or support.
- A quote from a favorite poem or song can give your statement extra emotion, but make sure some of the words are your own.
Step 3. Compose a short song or poem (optional)
If you can play music, sing, or write poetry, composing a song that expresses how you feel can be a touching way to communicate that promise.
Step 4. Enter the personal details
Tell the person how much he or she means to you in your own words. Mention specific qualities you admire and specific happy memories to avoid being clichéd.
Step 5. Be yourself
You know more about your relationship with the recipient than wikiHow. If you're both going to find meaning in something more ridiculous than what's described here, or you know the recipient will love a ten-minute sonnet recital, go for it.
Step 6. Place the promise ring on any finger
Most people wear it on the middle finger on the left hand or the ring finger on the right hand. Most recipients won't want to mistake it for an engagement ring, so stay away from the ring finger on the left hand.
Of course, if you use a different form of jewelry or other gift, put it in the right place or hand it over to him formally
Tips
- Promise rings are a great gift if you are both too young to get married.
- Although promise rings actually originate from Christianity, you can now find promise rings with Hebrew inscribed prayers, other religious meanings or other secular designs.
- Remember to have your camera ready for the day to record that moment as a memory for the future.
