Everyone wants a successful and happy child. Instilling discipline in children is an important step towards achieving that goal. However, instilling discipline is not the same as punishing a child. To instill discipline in your child, you need to nurture, create expectations and expectations, and develop a sense of personal responsibility for the child. The key to instilling discipline in children is to teach them to put aside desires in order to fulfill their obligations.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Instilling Discipline Through Punishment
Step 1. Stay calm
When dealing with a child who has made a mistake, you need to be calm and calm. Instead of shouting "Get off the table now!" in a loud, angry tone, say calmly: "Please get off the table, you'll fall. I don't want you to fall."
- If the child is being rude to you, use the same strategy. Calmly ask them to stop. Then, explain why you are not happy with his disrespectful behavior. For example: "Stop saying harsh words, it's rude. You're more fun when polite." Tell them this is the only warning. Usually, this is enough to make their bad behavior stop.
- If the child continues to misbehave and disobey you, tell them about the punishment and carry out the punishment. Make sure they understand the connection between their bad behavior and the punishment they will receive. You need to stay calm.
Step 2. Execute the punishment
Never make empty threats because you will lose your child's trust. Before threatening your child, think about the consequences of your threat. Be firm in your intention to punish your child so that he becomes aware of the connection between his bad behavior and your punishment. If you ever show a spare attitude in threatening, your child will think that the rules you make should not be taken seriously.
After the punishment is over, hug or kiss your child to show that you're not angry and explain why you don't like the bad behavior. Ask your child to repeat why you disliked the bad behavior so they can remember it more easily. After that, don't bring up this problem again
Step 3. Match the punishment to the behavior
Sometimes you just need to absorb your child. Sometimes other, harsher forms of punishment are needed, such as not letting your child play outside or limiting certain things that he previously enjoyed. Whatever the form of punishment, make sure it is fair.
This punishment must be age appropriate. Young children have short attention spans. Within minutes, they can forget the reason they were punished. Confining small children for a week will have no effect because they do not understand the concept of confinement. Start by absorbing them for one minute, then add another minute per year as they age
Step 4. Do the punishment consistently
Don't punish your child for a certain behavior one time, then ignore the behavior the next time. This will confuse the child and make him unsure of what behavior you consider acceptable. Be consistent in giving punishment. Give the same punishment for the same bad behavior every time.
- You can have a problem with consistency when two parents, or caregivers, view the same behavior in different ways. For example, a child running around in the backyard may appear to be normal playing with Papa, but Mama may think the child could hurt himself or stumble, and punish him for running. In this case, you need to talk to your spouse or child's caregiver to discuss what behaviors are considered reasonable and what to do if these boundaries are violated.
- If you want to change the rules, tell your child about the changes to these rules and the penalties they will face if they are broken.
Step 5. Consider the usefulness of punishment
There are children who are obedient and even the threat of punishment is enough to make them obey. Other children may be more resistant and will only obey you after being punished. Think about your child's character and personality to determine if punishment is a good way to instill discipline.
Method 2 of 3: Developing Children's Good Behavior
Step 1. Explain your intentions and expectations
Tell your child what you want them to do. Whether it's a certain grade in class or the completion of a certain assignment, you need to explain whatever your goals are to your child, as clearly as possible and without ambiguity. If you think your child may misbehave in certain situations, explain to them what you want them to do. Also make sure that your child understands the consequences of their behavior.
- Set realistic expectations. If your child isn't good at math, don't put unnecessary pressure on them by asking for an A in math. You need to be clear about your child's personality, interests, and talents, and avoid burdening them with too many tasks and obligations.
- For younger children, display these rules in an easily visible place such as in front of the refrigerator.
- As much as possible, involve your child in the rule-making process.
Step 2. Assign age-appropriate responsibilities
As your child grows older, their understanding of what needs to be done at home and at school increases. Gradually and age-appropriately increasing your child's responsibilities will show that you trust them.
- Responsibilities that are appropriate for preschoolers and toddlers are, for example, tidying up toys and putting dirty clothes in the laundry.
- Kindergarten children can help make beds or feed pets.
- Elementary school children can help set the dining table or cook.
- Middle and high school children can help with household chores that are getting more important/difficult each year. For example, going shopping, taking care of a younger sibling, or washing clothes.
Step 3. Provide positive motivation
Use a reward system to keep children interested in doing their jobs and responsibilities. For example, after a child has successfully completed a homework assignment or made up the sheets 7 days in a row, give them a reward/reward. This award, of course, needs to be age-appropriate: being able to watch an hour of TV or some money they can spend on their own.
- Young children find it easier to understand pictures to show their level of discipline and responsibility. Use a sticker board or calendar. Mark every day and every time a child successfully completes a task. List each task in order. Children will have more fun doing assignments if their progress can be seen clearly.
- Don't underestimate the effectiveness of money as a reward for good behavior. Some parents think of it as a bribe, but actually giving money can be an effective tool to get them disciplined as well as give them the opportunity to practice financial discipline.
- For young children, make discipline fun. Turn difficult tasks into games. For example, you can get your kids to pick up toys as quickly as possible or turn the cleaning into a contest between brothers and sisters.
Step 4. Praise for good behavior
Don't let your child feel that the attention he is getting from you is just for bad behavior. When your child completes a task or exhibits responsible behavior, let them know that they make you happy and proud.
- Tell your child that they are doing well on certain tasks. Say "Papa is proud you did this" and "Thanks for your help, son!" according to their behavior.
- Especially for young children, show your appreciation with hugs, kisses, and jumping around.
- Remind your child of their progress in any areas that are difficult for them to discipline.
Step 5. Create a schedule
Make sure that naps, bedtimes, and meals occur at the same time each day. Explain the next agenda to your child.
- Make sure your child has fun sticking to the schedule. Use a kitchen timer to mark something happening. For example, after setting the alarm, tell your child that when the alarm goes off, you need to go to bed, go eat, etc.
- Older kids should have a schedule too. The average teenager does not get enough sleep 8 to 10 hours per night. This can lead to disturbed sleep patterns, skipping class, or missing appointments. Make sure your teen sticks to a predetermined sleep schedule.
Step 6. Lead by example
Children learn by doing what others do and by following orders. Treat all your interactions fairly and show respect for others. If you live responsibly, with good morals and with honesty, so will your children. Remember the saying "One action shows a thousand words."
Teach your child to clean. After your child has finished playing with their toys, games, or puzzles, teach them to clean and tidy up the toys. Show your kids how to do it and help them tidy up. Show young children how to clean properly and according to your expectations, then slowly, let them handle it on their own. Elementary-aged children should be able to tidy up their own things and put dishes in the sink. Preteens and teens should be able to tidy up sheets and wash clothes and dishes
Step 7. Only accept genuine effort
If your child is lazy to do chores or homework, let them know that you are disappointed and that you want to get more genuine effort in the future. Don't finish or redo a child's unfinished work. If, for example, your child has folded the wrong clothes, or hasn't done the dishes properly, show them what you want them to be and let them know that in the future insincere or unfinished efforts will have consequences.
Assign age-appropriate responsibilities to children
Method 3 of 3: Creating Positive Relationships
Step 1. Show your interest in the child
Show that they are loved. Spend time with them and ask how they feel. When children know they are loved, they will realize that their lives and actions have value. They will then try to live up to your expectations and live a more disciplined life.
- Ask your child to think about their recent success or failure.
- Support their interests and hobbies.
- Tell them that you believe they can succeed if they try.
- Show your gratitude that they are in your life. Tell them directly that you love them.
Step 2. Support your child's interests
Extracurricular activities can teach valuable life skills and lessons. Sports clubs, dance, gymnastics, karate, playing music, hiking, all can instill discipline in your child through repetitive practice, rules and patterns, and a schedule to follow. These hobbies can instill strong discipline in your child.
Step 3. Show empathy
Try to understand your child's point of view. For example, if your child wants to stay up late, admit that staying up late to watch another TV show, read another chapter, etc., is fun. Say that when you were little, you wanted to stay up too late. Also make comparisons with your life now. Say, for example, that you have work responsibilities that keep you from doing fun things, but that you still need to do in order to feed your family. When children feel that their perspective is respected and heard, they will be more likely to obey you.
Help your child realize the consequences of whatever they do. If for example they want to stay up late, remind them that tomorrow they have to get up early. Ask what happens if they don't get enough sleep. Hopefully they will realize that you really care about them
Step 4. Use stories to demonstrate noble behavior
Reading can help children learn noble behaviors that they can use in life. After reading about a character who is disciplined and responsible, have a dialogue with your child about their reactions, thoughts, and feelings when reading the story. Thus, they can relate more deeply to the character and understand the cause-and-effect process of the logical consequences of something.
For example, when you read the story about the diligent ant and the lazy cricket, point out how industriousness leads to sufficient food during the winter, while lazy crickets are having fun, but are hungry
Step 5. Give your child choices
Don't let them do whatever they want, but ask, for example, what color clothes they would like to wear, or if they prefer carrots or broccoli. You don't have to kill your child's sense of autonomy to instill discipline. As your child's choices increase, their ability to be disciplined, stay away from impulsive desires, and focus on obligations will improve.
- Start with easy choices like what book to read or what color socks to wear.
- Give a choice only if there is a choice. Don't ask your child if they want to take a nap or not.
Tips
- With time and patience, you can turn each child into a more disciplined individual.
- Let your child make mistakes. Sometimes the best lessons come from failure and lack of discipline.
- Don't bribe your child by rewarding him for stopping a bad behavior. Only convey appreciation when the child is showing good behavior and discipline.
Warning
- Don't be mean, sarcastic, or disrespectful to your child.
- Avoid corporal punishment such as spanking. This can cause fear and distrust in the child.
- Don't instill discipline in your child through fear or shame. This will weaken the relationship between you and your child, and damage their self-esteem.
