We do have to get along well with all kinds of people, including people we don't really like, but sometimes it's better to show dislike than pretend to like. For example, when you're outside, you want to say you're not interested when someone of the opposite sex approaches. You also need to convey a reluctance to be friends with people you don't like. In fact, you may even want to unfriend someone. In such cases, make it clear that you just want to be polite from afar.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Saying You Are Not Interested in Strangers
Step 1. Say it directly
One way to turn down an invitation to a date or a request for a phone number is to give a simple and direct answer. A direct approach is very appropriate in such situations so people don't get hopeful because you are leaving room for misunderstanding. So, they can turn to other people.
- For example, say, "Thanks, but no, sorry."
- You can also say, “No. I'm not interested in dating right now."
- Be sure to say "no" so that your answer is clear.
Step 2. Try indirect answers
If you don't want to ruthlessly refuse, try turning around a bit. One way is to start by praising him, but end with rejection.
For example, say, "You seem nice, but I'm not interested in dating. Are you in or not."
Step 3. Try dodging tactics
An option that you can try is the dodge tactic. In other words, you're avoiding requests with indirect responses, such as giving them a fake number so they don't know they've been rejected.
- You can number the essay, but make sure it's not someone else's number. However, evasion tactics can become your master's weapon if he calls or sees you again.
- Another option is to say that you already have a boyfriend. You can also ask friends to pretend to be a couple. However, if you use this tactic, the other person may also drift away, which can be a problem if you're actually looking for a partner.
Step 4. Don't say “sorry”
By apologizing, you're implying pity, and that makes the rejection worse. Besides, you have no reason to apologize. Just show that you choose not to accept.
Method 2 of 3: Saying You Don't Want Someone's Presence
Step 1. Make sure you do have to say something
In some situations, sometimes silence is better. If there's no point in telling, just keep quiet even if the person is very annoying.
- For example, telling your manager that you don't like him probably won't help. Managers have power over your career and can complicate your job. So, saying you don't like the manager is completely useless. You will actually get into trouble because you are considered rebellious.
- Also, consider again if the person you don't like is a family member, or a family friend. If you see him often, expressions of disapproval will only make things more difficult.
- Similarly, if he is the same friend with another friend. Get-togethers will be more difficult if you tell him you don't like him.
- Also, consider whether your dislike is fair. Maybe you just don't like someone without getting to know them first. Get to know someone before judging.
Step 2. Say it politely
Even if you don't want someone in your life, try not to be mean. Reluctance to make friends can still be expressed without being mean. Thus, the relationship is not permanently broken.
- If it's too brutal, you may have a hard time making other friends. Words will spread.
- Don't belittle or speak in a mean tone. Appreciate him and stay calm.
- For example, the words "I can't stand being around you" are considered mean. Instead, try saying, "Our principles are very different, and I don't have time for new friends either."
Step 3. Don't give a "gap"
If you don't respond to his attempts to make friends, he'll understand. In other words, don't make small talk and agree to a plan you don't really want.
- Also, try not to smile at him. A smile makes you seem approachable, but not necessarily a frown.
- This can lead others to think you are arrogant or haughty. So, be careful.
Step 4. Try a hands-on approach
While brutal at times, a direct approach can confirm reluctance from the start. If you really can't stand the person, it's best to say it openly. However, this method can be detrimental to you, especially if applied in a work environment.
You could say, "I don't think we're the right kind of friends, but I'm glad to know you."
Step 5. Be honest about your feelings
If he seems to want a relationship that goes beyond your comfort limits, say it directly without judgment. For example, he wants to be closer friends, while you only want the relationship as casual acquaintances.
- You could say, “I feel like you want to be closer friends. Right now, I don't want close friendship. If you still want, for example in the next few months, you can check again."
- Or, “Thank you for wanting to be friends with me. You seem good. I'm just not interested in having close friends."
Method 3 of 3: Expressing Friendship Reluctance
Step 1. Think about your goals
Decide what you want, then take the best course of action that fits that goal, but with the least effect of tension. If you don't want to see someone that often, there's no need to say you don't like them. If you want to cut ties with him, it's better to be clear than to just ignore him. Think about the following questions:
- What do I expect to happen if I say I don't like it?
- Do I want him not to bother me? (Meaning maybe I should just say it.)
- Don't I want to see him often? (Maybe I should say I only want to see you once a month.)
- Do I want to hurt her feelings? Will I later regret for hurting him?
Step 2. Say it in the best possible manner
Even if you basically refuse, don't be cruel. Instead, try not to sound mean so he doesn't feel sad or helpless.
For example, the words "You're an idiot, I don't like you" are totally inappropriate. Instead, you could say, "I know you want to be close to me, but I just don't feel comfortable. I think our principles are very different.”
Step 3. Treat friendship like a love affair
If you want to tell a close friend that your friendship has faded so much that you're no longer interested, do it as you would your partner. That is, cut off friendships as if you wanted to cut ties with your partner.
- It's best to talk in person, but you can also send a letter or email if that's your only option. Explain why you don't want to be friends anymore. Ideally, blame yourself, like "I'm not the same as I used to be, and I don't think we're right as friends anymore."
- Another option is to ask for some time alone for a while. Maybe you just need some space, although a temporary break up is also a way to make it easier to break up permanently.
Step 4. Avoid him
Although not the best, this option still needs to be considered. The trick, do not return the phone or do not invite him to talk when you meet. Over time, he'll understand that you don't want to be friends with him.
- Usually, this method is used so as not to hurt the feelings of the rejected person, but sometimes it's confusing and more painful, and only delays the unavoidable. He may be worried about you and not understand that you really want to end the friendship. So, the direct way is usually the best option.
- Know that if you dodge, you'll end up having to keep it up to date. He will ask if something is wrong or if you are angry. Prepare answers.
- One way to avoid people is to use work excuses, such as "I'd love to chat, but I have to go back to work."
Step 5. Have realistic expectations
Rejecting and being rejected by a friend is just as painful, especially a persistent friend. You will not be able to get out of this situation without hurting the feelings of both parties. However, if the friendship isn't the best, it may be time to separate so the two of you can start another, healthier and more fruitful relationship.
